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We broke up because...

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  • velocityc6
    velocityc6 Posts: 2,137 Member
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    She wanted me to shave my moustache
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
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    She kept filling my collection of empty yoghurt tubs with mayonaisse
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    He cried constantly, eat your mayo!
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    Her appetite in the kitchen was only rivalled by her appetite in the bedroom. And I don't mean crumbs in the bed.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    He couldn't keep up with me!
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    It was hard to keep up when I was bound and gagged. She never respected the "Safe Word".
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Silly boy thought we had a safe word. Wondered why he kept saying "purple banana"
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    Purple Banana is hard to say with an Orange in your mouth and a Gimp Mask on.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
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    He was a freak. I couldn't bring him home to mom
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    His mother was more important to him than I was
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    She couldn't get along with my mother.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    She didnt like my dad
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
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    She liked my mother more than me. Really creeper me out.
  • SleeplessInSeattle
    SleeplessInSeattle Posts: 395 Member
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    She kept dodging from me

    hunter1_zpsemk9ipds.gif
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
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    SleeplessInSeattle wrote: »
    She kept dodging from me

    hunter1_zpsemk9ipds.gif

    Love it!!!!!!

    We broke up because he was an evil genious
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    He wanted to play dodge ball all the time.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    He kept dogging from me (google it if your not from the UK)
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    He made me google things when I didn't understand him, instead of just taking the time to explain things!
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    edited March 2015
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    "dogging" British, slang) the practice of carrying out or watching sexual activities in semi-secluded locations such as parks or car parks, often arranged by e-mail or text messages

    He could not speak my language.
  • SleeplessInSeattle
    SleeplessInSeattle Posts: 395 Member
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    She was too gullible.

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