What do you think of fat people after losing weight?

lilpoindexter

I've been thinking about this for a long time...

I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)

Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...

I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...

Their eyes glaze over...

Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.

I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.

jzammetti

I agree - but think it is more than just laziness. For me, I was convinced it just couldn't happen after years of yo yo dieting with no sustainable success. So, yes, I was lazy, but more than that I was defeated, so why try? We all get there in our own time.

JTick

My fatness wasn't because I'm lazy...I work harder and stay more active than most thin people I know. However, binge eating disorder did me no favors at all. Once I went to counseling and was able to get a hold of my emotions, the weight started coming off.

So, yes, I do think a lot of people are just lazy. However, many of the obese are dealing with emotional difficulties as well that make a life change more difficult. I do my best not to judge...I just wish they were willing to listen to how easy weight loss can be. Honestly, if I could do my college career over again, I would have majored in psychology/nutrition to help obese people lose weight and deal with the emotional aspects of it.

gigglybeth

I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

BrookeLosesWeight

I somewhat agree with you - I, personally, am over weight because I ate too much and exercised too little - plain and simple! At least I'm trying to make a change I guess!

kbeech06

Well, I'm still fat...but I'm getting there! So when I see a fat person, I wonder if maybe they have other issues in their lives. See, I have RA and I have days when the pain is HORRIBLE..it makes moving near impossible. I move when I can. I don't live anyone else's life, and I don't know what's going on in their life...so I try not to judge, just like I hope no one is judging me.

kbeech06

I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

Exactly!

zinatara

I've always known why I got fat and the things I needed to do to loose weight. But that's only half of what you need, I couldn't do it until I got motivated and ready. I didn't blame anything but myself, but I also found comfort in my chocolate and cakes.

I think it's often easy to feel that since you could do it, everybody should be able too. But they might not be ready. Often it's the same with people who have stopped smoking. I remember my step mother in law was telling us how weak I was since she stopped smoking while I still smoked. She started again a half year later and still smokes, I stopped and haven't touched a sigaret in almost 10 years.

nosillanosilla

Honestly, I think "How could they let themselves exist like that without changing anything??" then I remember that we all started somewhere and for most people it isn't one single decision or day that you just change and start being healthy. It is a process. And who knows? They could have already lost 20, 30, 100 lbs... you never know about people you just met.

liannexxx

I think you can't tar everyone with the same brush! You have to look at each person individually and can't make a sweeping statement like "everyone who is fat is just lazy"

cmcmommy

Mine defiantly wasn't being lazy ,I worked 40+ hrs a week unloading trucks. Mine was bad food choices and I believe part of it is hereditary. I am built just like my grandmother, mother, sister , Although some of us have lost weight we still have the big *kitten*/ big thighs and wide hips.

TravelDog14

Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.

ChangingAmanda

For me I had to be ready mentally to solidly commit to the change. I hope they find the same mental readiness.

Ed98043

Well, I hope I remain empathetic because I used to be one of them. When people ask me what I'm doing to lose weight, I ask them if they want the long version or the short version. They usually say "short" so I say "counting calories". If they want the long version I tell them about how I didn't think I could lose weight because of age/genes/hormones/metabolism/whatever, didn't think I was eating that much to begin with, thought I'd have to starve on 800 calories a day just to get the scale to move, etc. and how wrong I was about all of those things. Yes, they mostly just glaze over. But it's their choice to choose food over a healthy weight, just like it was my choice even though I didn't see it that way at the time.

BinaryPulsar

The reasons they give are the obstacles they are feeling at that time. But, the conversation will possibly stick with them and they will begin to think about it. As they try a little bit at a time, they may begin to feel more ready. Hearing your story and your progress will be motivation and proof that with work it is possible. Sometimes people don't want to put the work in if they think it will be ineffective. They need to learn that while it does not happen right away, the consistency pays off. They also just need to know that they can do the work and still enjoy life. They just need to make some shifts in their priorities, time, and their mindset about how to enjoy life. This is not a 5 second shift. It takes a thought process and the first response is resistance and all the excuses that have held them back. Provide the helpful information. Let them take the time to think about it and decide for themselves. Everyone has challenges. That part is real. Just, not everyone knows that there is always always a way to work with the challenges that they have. Whether the challenges are physical, mental or both.

quiltlovinlisa

I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

This.

I got a lot of judgement when my activity plummeted and my weight increased after my twins were born. I was told repeatedly that I needed to make exercise a priority when in reality, I was barely hanging on with just a few hours of sleep for almost two solid years. I couldn't afford to get help. I did the best I could. And it ticked me off when people that had no idea the hell I was going through, just trying to take care of my family, told me I wasn't trying hard enough.

yondermountain

This is my first post because I think about this a lot. I have a lot of compassion for obese people. I know that for the most part it is because of bad habits, but I think most of them are miserable about their situation. I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose but I never look at my reflection in glass doors or in store mirrors because the sight of myself makes me sick. They must feel even more unhappy because they are so far from their goal (I'm talking about people who are not attempting to lose weight or increase fitness).

Another thing that makes me feel compassion for them is our culture's insistence on meeting a standard of attractiveness that does not allow for body shape differences. If you did not win the genetic lottery you will never be on the top of the beauty scale here.

I lived for a time in another country and I was amazed at how many people classified people of all shapes and sizes as attractive. Not ragging on the good ol' USA, love it, but I did notice a difference.

cwolfman13

I myself was lazy...and also didn't realize how easy it really is. I always had the stereotypical view of dieting...sucking on celery sticks all day long and otherwise eating boring and ****ty food. I'm a foodie, so that mere thought of "dieting" always made me cringe.

I changed my tune when I started just trying to get better nutrition and be healthier due to some bad blood work. I really started researching nutrition and changing my numerous personal recipes to reflect fresher, more nutrient dense ingredients...less oil, stuff like that. I wasn't even necessarily trying to lose weight at first, it just started to come off naturally with the way I was eating.

I lost a good 15 Lbs or so on my own and that's when I decided I'd like to keep that trend going and really started counting my calories and managing my macros. As I lost weight I also got more motivated to get back into exercise. I was a half way decent athlete once upon a time and I missed being able to do the things I used to do...little by little I just got myself back out there and started upping my fitness.

I think most people just come to it in their own time and own way...and unfortunately, many don't come to it at all.

chrisrn30

Inspiration is what I call "fat" or "big" or "thick" people after they lost the weight makes me think and gives me strength that I can do that too! I'm way fat before but when I started doing some home workouts (that I found funny before doing it) I feel great about myself losing weight everyday, it's kinda hard to adjust to your diet since I eat way much before but I think I need more control on my appetite with that aside, for those who have some thyroid problems (most reason I hear) even though they say their diet is good, they can't have a good diet if they just sit down all day.

PlayerHatinDogooder

I think some of them could try harder to make their health and fitness more of a priority.

norrisski

I try to be a role model for those who are still obese. I am a Nurse Practitioner and when my patients asked how I did it, they are very disappointed when I don't tell them about some magic pill that I took. I just talk to them about making small changes in diet and exercise and don't sugar coat it. I let them know that it is hard work but I am an example that it can be done. I also tell them that excuses are just that and I know what the excuses are because I have heard them out of my own mouth. The biggest thing is just continue to try to be a positive influence on them without being pushy or judgemental. If they are good friends, invite them along to join you in the exercise, pass on healthy eating tips and be supportive of their efforts.

ninerbuff

The biggest issue that I've personally seen is that some become "snobs" to others that haven't lost weight. That because they lost weight, that they on a "higher level" than those that didn't. They'll criticize how others eat, when a few months ago they were eating the same way.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

SoViLicious

I've lost over 60lbs I am still obese. I would never take your bike because I lift weights and run. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Oh yeah, I don't judge people. When they have had enough they will do what they need to do to get healthy.

alladream

I think people are people, and there can be SO MANY REASONS that i don't know about for someone to be fat or untidy or dressed strange or acting cranky or whatever that I no longer assume that "If they only did it MY way, or the way I suggest, they'd be right"--so many people have illnesses, pain, financial difficulties, abusive households, personal stress and issues, that it can all add up to suffering that can manifest in a lot of ways--

AllTehBeers

I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

Other than this, I mind my own.

AllonsYtotheTardis

It's a reminder to me of where I was, and how unhappy I was with all the excess weight. I don't think any more or less of them than this.


People do not ask me how I've done it (or am currently doing it). Those who really want to know, I've already told them. The rest don't really want to know.

DebbieLyn63

Yeah, now that I 'finally get it', it is very tempting to want to share my new found wisdom with all those I see that are where I was 8 months ago. I mean, if I can do it, why can't they? But I have to be very careful to remember that they are not in the same place I am now, and they will come to change when they are ready.

I personally didn't gain my weight by just being lazy. I had a disabling injury and slowly gained weight over 15 yrs. Sometimes when I hear of someone who eats 8000-10000 cals a day, I feel a bit angry for a minute. I mean, I gained weight on 2000 cals a day. How can someone just gorge themselves like that, day after day, and not care what it is doing to their body? Then I have to remember that we are all dealing with our own demons. No one's sins are worse than my own.

But it is a frequent struggle to not fall into judgment or jealousy. I mean, when that person who gained weight on 10k a day, then switched to 3k a day and lost 300 pounds in a year, I feel first, a bit of jealousy as they made it look so easy, and I have had to work so hard to get to this point. then a bit of resentment that they are showing the world that everyone is obese because they eat like that and are too lazy to do something about it.

But again, I have to take a step back and realize that I don't know their situation, or their struggles. I know it is clique, but all I can control is myself.

But yeah, we are all human and we would be lying if we said we never had any negative thoughts towards those who are considerably overweight and appear to not be willing to do anything about it. It is very easy to forget where we came from.

kansasredneckwomen

I used to be very thin. Before I gained weight, I had no idea what it was like to be fat, or to watch what I ate. My weight gain was caused by insulin resistance coupled with two pregnancies. I have just recently started to lose weight (like last week lol) now that we have realized that insulin resistance is the issue. I am only about 40 lbs overweight. My husband, however, is considered obese with a BMI of 34. I can see the depression in his eyes when I say "I lost another pound" or "I lost two inches off of my waist". He actually talked about it this morning that he thinks he is doing the same as me but not losing any weight. The thing is, as I explained to him, that I made drastic changes in my life. I do not drink soda, where he does on occasion. I consciously stay away from refined carbs, where he does not unless I say something. The point is that just like his tobacco use, I do not think he wants it bad enough yet. They need support but they have to do a lot for themselves at the same time. I also have an underactive thyroid but am still doing it. Some chronic illness can hinder weightloss, but some also get better with weightloss. As a nurse, I see obese individuals coming in day in and day out wanting another pill for what ails them but complaining about the number of pills they take and the side effects of them. The physicians even tell them, "If you could lose even 10 pounds, you would feel so much better". They just have to find their own motivation!

BinaryPulsar

I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

Yeah, I agree also. And people's challenges show in different ways. For some people that means a large weight gain, for other people it is something different. I don't judge another person's challenges because I can't judge what is not my own experience. And I know I've had my own challenges (many). My challenges just didn't show up as weight gain that was noticeable to anyone.

thescrumisfun

Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.

Quote for the win! :drinker:

I try not to judge, because I'm still overweight. Everyone struggles from time to time; everyone has personal issues, whether it be laziness or a medical condition, etc. What I don't like is when a heavier person consistently complains, but doesn't do anything to change. That person used to be me until I changed my attitude and kicked myself in the butt. I don't necessarily judge by weight, I judge by attitude, I guess. Overweight, content, not complaining? Fine by me. Overweight, unhappy, complaining? Not so fine. When there's a will, there's a way...it may take different amounts of time, but I think a lifestyle change is possible for anyone who desires it. One little step at a time!

gypsylouiseporter

I have found it rather odd now I am small ( 111lbs ). Fat people look at me funny and almost with a nasty look. I was fat because I ate too much, ate high calorie and didn't move. I live in a country town and I started a small facebook group for weight loss support plus I had my name as "lose weight " on my facebook profile so everybody knows who I am now. Thing is I am rather over being asked how I did it, mainly because when you tell them I ate a calorie controlled diet and sweat buckets on my exercise bike they like you say " glaze over ". I also have found that If I order a foot long subway ( half for my husband ) the fat people stare at me as if to say " you wont eat all that " as they are getting footlongs for themselves. buying a chocolate treat gets a few looks as well. I hate to say it but overweight people can be quite " fattist " against slim people. Maybe anyone reading this who is still losing weight, please don't judge or give looks to slim people, I have been called a " skinny ***** " in jest but I don't find it funny at all, I mean I don't call people a " fat ***** " it is a whole new world being small I tell you.