What do you think of fat people after losing weight?
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Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.
Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.
Agree!0 -
ThisThe biggest issue that I've personally seen is that some become "snobs" to others that haven't lost weight. That because they lost weight, that they on a "higher level" than those that didn't. They'll criticize how others eat, when a few months ago they were eating the same way.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
OP I think this is a mean topic, everyone has their own issues and I try not to judge anyone....end of!
P.S had to stop My eyes glazing over as your smugness was really quite tiresome
Totally agree. In my opinion, judging others is a reflections of one's own unhappiness. Everyone is different and it's not okay to lump people into groups defined by a characteristic that some find "wrong" and refer to said people as THEM, THEY, THOSE OVER THERE, as if they weren't human. We all have our stuff: fat does not equal bad, stupid, ugly just as thin does not equal good, intelligent, and beautiful. It's complicated, folks.0 -
Losing weight doesn't mean it's okay to judge others. It doesn't mean you're better. You don't know their situation.
I've lost about 25 pounds, and still have another 30 to go. I would never judge another person because they are obese, fat, or overweight. They may be trying to do something about it, and they may actually be in better health than you. I know personally that because I run 5 days a week, I have much better cardio than many of "inshape" friends. Just because they don't want to go for a ride on your spare bike doesn't indicate anything.0 -
I find the premise of this thread very surprising to see on this site. Laziness is a simplistic, and often incorrect, explanation for being overweight. I would think that most people who have dealt with weight issues would understand that. Overeating, like any other addictive behavior, often stems from a unhealthy coping strategy that turns into a problem of its own. Family issues, emotional scars, mood disorders, and our often complex sense of self all come into play.
Do we dismiss the alcoholic as lazy? Are people with major depression lazy? What about people who struggle with anorexia? The list could go on and on.
Perhaps the topic here, "what do you think of fat people after losing weight," has more to do with how people who have lost weight feel about themselves. Remember proverbs, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall". If we can take our own baggage out of the equation we have a much better chance of really seeing other people. And when we really see each other people, our capacity for compassion grows.
Thank you for so eloquently stating what I wanted to convey.0 -
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Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.
I was at least to some extent like this. I have a bad shoulder, a leg that I broke and was never set correctly. A dislocated knee and ankle that I tore all the ligaments in both of which didn't heal right. Every time I started exercising I bombard by pain from at least one of these injuries. about 60lbs of my weight loss was done with diet and a minimal amount of cardio.
That said once that much weight came off I started working with a personal trainer and between the lower stress on my injuries and the increase to my strength my old injuries barely bother me, and when they do it is night and day from where I started out.
So there could be some truth to the "bad back" and other alignments that people use as excesses. What most don't realize is you can lose weight with diet alone and just getting weight off will drastically decrease the pain from these.0 -
I'm not going to lie--part of me judges them. I realize that everyone is different, though, and that I know nothing about their life. However, I don't think there is any excuse to let yourself be obese without trying to do anything to fix it. No matter what medical conditions you have, what your life is like, you can always work with a doctor (and trainer, if you can afford one) to help make healthier choices and get your weight under control.
Not to say that I am perfect. I am still considered overweight, and I do unhealthy things like smoke. I am working to change these things, though. Why? For my health. Yes, it will be nice to look hot in a bikini. That's just a bonus though--health is the bigger factor.0 -
I don't always judge fat people
But when I do, I do it on MFP.
I think I love you.
On topic, I'm jealous of fat (-ter than me) people now.
I especially tend to take notice of heavier girls who are in happy relationships. According to the scale, I've lost 70-ish pounds from where I was at my heaviest, and I still can't get past the emotional blocks that keep me holding everyone away at arm's length. I now fear judgment from others more than I ever have. Without so much "soft armor" I throw my defenses up as quickly as possible, which doesn't exactly make me the warm and fuzzy type of friend.
I miss being apathetic. I miss not being aware of body image issues within myself. I'm mad that I feel a sick satisfaction when fat "happens" to my formerly skinny loved ones even though I'm sad for them, too. I'm afraid that getting thinner and being angrier are becoming a pattern for me.
I think I probably project most of what I think I'm missing onto the fat people I encounter. I don't actively acknowledge inner struggles with which they may be suffering and that may skew my perception of where people are falling on the happiness scale.0 -
For myself the most difficult part of this lifelong journey will be the food part.
I don't consider myself physically lazy. I go to 4-6 karate lessons a week and come home completely soaked from sweating. A good chunk of my day is spent getting the kids ready for school, work, picking them up, getting dinner ready, helping with homework and helping with housework. Have also been running/jogging 3-4 days a week and will be getting back to the gym when i can squeeze it in.
That being said, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EATING HORRIBLY UNHEALTHY FOODS!!! I'm not depressed, nor do I have any other ailments, food just makes me tremendously happy!!! I wouldn't be even slightly surprised if there were many days that I would gleefully consume 7000+ calories.
It's that simple.
Fat =/= lazy.0 -
whenever someone asks my secret i tell them and try to give guidance if they want me to, i must admit if someone quite large moans about their bad back or legs i do think, losing weight might help. but we do have to remember we were all like that once so we shouldn't judge but try to advise if the person wants to change.0
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While I agree that for many people - excuses come easily, I have to disagree that it is the only reason for everyone.
For me - I had a back injury less than a year ago and still struggle with days of endless pain (however, I do not medicate the pain away as I don't want to get into a cycle of dependence on painkillers). For me - the last 2 weeks, I have not been working out as much as I should be due to an increase in that pain. I move, I ride, I keep active but not to the level I was.
I think some people have valid excuses. Some do not. To paint everyone with the same brush is unfair.
I chose to change my eating habits.
I chose to cut out soda and fried foods.
I chose to begin to increase my fitness level.
I choose to listen to my body.
I am not losing weight as quickly as I want to - but this time, the weight I have lost over the last several months has stayed off.
So far, this is working *for me*0 -
every time I see a thin person, I ask if they used to be obese at one point. That way I can form my judgments of them more easily.0
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I really want to help others meet with the same success that I have had! I once lost a lot of weight before and I saw fat people with disdain which was the immature me. Now, I view them with compassion and empathy. I'll do everything in my power to help.0
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Yep totally agree, everyone has to find their own wayI think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
Exactly!0 -
ROFL @ "hang nail."
I have to admit, though, irritable bowel syndrome has made it harder. Hunger causes flare-ups I'd rather not deal with, so does eating raw fruits and veggies. I've been sucking it up, though, and so can most people.0 -
I don't feel any different towards other people compared to when I was 200 pounds heavier. I don't judge people.0
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Whenever I watch The Biggest Loser's first episode of each season, every contestant has a reason why they've gained so much weight. A death in the family, some catastrophe. If I ever needed to be on that show (feeling very thankful that I don't!), I quite honestly would have to go up there and say, "You know what? Ice cream is freaking delicious and exercising isn't my favorite way to spend my time. The end."0
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I think another good question is "what do you think of *thin* people after losing weight"?
I'm at my halfway point in weight loss. When I was first starting, I used to see a girl in great shape and think she was "lucky" or "must be nice!"
But now have a little more respect for the hard work they've put into it (though I'm still fairly certain it's just natural for some people).0 -
Also, side note: while I'm definitely more attracted to fit men, I find them roughly ten times MORE attractive if I find out that they used to be overweight. I would love to be in a relationship with someone who understood weight loss.0
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I definitely don't have a perfect body yet, but I definitely think of them differently. Every time I see someone obese, I sort of wonder, "How did you let it get that far? Are you going to turn it around? Will you get to experience the amazing results that come with taking control of your life and becoming a healthy and fit person? Are you already on that path? Are you 100 pounds lighter now when I'm seeing you than you were a year ago?" I think I spend too much time on MFP though, now I just assume that every fat person I see is on a weight loss journey, and that's totally not true.0
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Another thing that makes me feel compassion for them is our culture's insistence on meeting a standard of attractiveness that does not allow for body shape differences. If you did not win the genetic lottery you will never be on the top of the beauty scale here.
It suddenly occurred to me that even though I feel I could stand to get in better shape (not necessarily lose poundage per se) and grumble because too often I cannot fit into jeans that I could the week before, loads of people *would* consider me to be a "winner in the genetic lottery" because I'm a woman who's 5'11 with a thin build by nature, if not by habit. [I cannot leave the pizza and cheeseburgers alone.]
Sure, being '5'11 with a thin build by nature' may sound enviable, but I've had almost non-existent boobs since I was a teenager--and in a culture that emphasizes cleavage=sexiness, I've always felt a loser in the genetic lottery and too often, less than attractive because of it.
This has suddenly put a lot in perspective for me: I'm not saying I should stop trying to get in better shape, but that I should stop grumbling so much and filling my head with self-loathing and instead realize how blessed I am. We've all got something someone else wishes they had. We should focus on the good and be proud!0 -
Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise
You must know my sister. LOL
I look at it this way:
I've lost about 100 pounds from my highest weight, not all while here at MFP. The difference between myself and people who are overweight and not trying to lose it is that I have lost it, so I know that I can do it. They haven't lost a large amount of weight, so they are afraid of failure. They don't know that they can lose it, just like I did.
In the end, I try not to judge. Yep, there are those who say they don't judge, but I don't believe you. Everyone judges at some point or other. I try not to judge, but I often fail because I fail to realize that they may have had the same issues as I did or similar issues and they have not addressed those issues like I did. To be honest, sometimes I look at people who haven't addressed those issues and are overweight as being failures. To me, success in life is being happy with yourself, honest, and authentic. To be honest, you must address those issues that are holding you back, and people who are not even trying to lose weight, like my sister, are not honest when they sit there and blame their obesity on thyroid, slow metabolism, etc. They are lying to themselves. In the end, I feel sorry for them. Not the kind of pity where you go along with all their excuses, mind you. Just sorry for them because they don't recognize their own inner strength.0 -
For me I was lazy and ate too much and drank a lot of pop and frappes. As far as others, I try not to judge as I have no idea what they are going through in their life.0
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My answer to this question might sound a bit strange but, I have found it to be true. It is true that many make up excuses for not wanting to lose weight...
On the other hand, it is not as easy for women to lose weight as it is for men... That is I do not rag on women for being fat because in many cases it is because of child bearing... In addition, I do not believe that women should believe that they need to be stick thin to be beautiful...
I am far harsher on myself and other men because we have no excuses what so ever... I say this because human males are not attractive at all...
Finally, I do not believe that losing weight solves people's emotional problems... Yes, it is true that I eat better foods than I used to eat before I lost the weight... However, I still have the emotional problem of believing that I am still too fat and that I sometimes wish I would never have to eat any more food for the rest of my life. I say this because I still feel too fat and very ugly...0 -
I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
Yup!0 -
Yep totally agree, everyone has to find their own wayI think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
Exactly!
I agree with the above.
However I have a problem with people using their thyroid condition as an excuse for why they gained weight, and can't lose it. I was alsways a UK size 8/10 until at 30-32 when I started to be tired a lot and slowly gained weight, by the time I was diagnosed (aged 34) I had gone up to a size 12/14. Once the medication kicked in an I had some energy back I soon lost the weight. Then a few years after diagnosis I realised that my weight was steadily creeping up again, I went back to the doctor, got my thyroxine dosage upped and set about trying to get rid of the extra 16lb+ I'd gained. Hypothyroidism slows your metabolism, it doesn't make you eat badly. Too many people who are already overweight/obese end up with a thyroid problem because of their poor diet and then blame that for their predicament.
When I see obese people I don't judge, there are many reasons why they may have ended up that way. I do however dislike hearing a great long list of reasons why they can't lose weight. Anyone can make the change, but they have to want to do it and realise that years of piling the pounds on can't be fixed overnight with a quick 'diet'. It has to be a change of lifestyle.0 -
@ timberowl and hang nailROFL @ "hang nail."
I have to admit, though, irritable bowel syndrome has made it harder. Hunger causes flare-ups I'd rather not deal with, so does eating raw fruits and veggies. I've been sucking it up, though, and so can most people.
I was diagnoses with IBS when I was 16. When I was 53 the gluten-free craze was just starting. I tried it and I have only had two bouts of IBS, both occurring within 24 hours of eating gluten, both accidentally. Restaurants are not that enlightened when it comes to gluten-free. They sometimes fry things in the same oil that floured products are fried in. Also, one restaurant had the item on their gluten-free menu (tostito chips and salsa) so I ordered it. When I was halfway through eating them (shared with four friends, btw), the waitress came running up, looking frazzled. She looked at me all guilty and said, "They made those with flour in them this time." So, yes, I spent the next day in the bathroom, experiencing something reminiscent of my bouts of IBS. Try going gluten-free and see if it helps.0 -
I gave up all hope of losing weight after my service. I had gained so much. When I got out my ex-wife kidnapped my daughter (just took her and disappeared never to be seen or heard from again). I haven't seen my kid in 4 years. I had a son since then who passed of SIDS. I lost all hope and became obese.
I worked my *kitten* off workout, starving myself, to no avail.
I ended up becoming homeless because no one wanted to hire a Veteran. No one looked twice at me. Dirty, homeless, hungry, and depressed. I was that way for a long time.
Until I met this girl. I was going to school and sleeping in an alley way behind a starbucks coffee. We talked for awhile and one day I disappeared because being homeless you gotta be on the move. She called me one day and I told her the truth, I was homeless, broke, and a mess.
She brought food to my alley where I slept and talked to me for hours.
She gave me a shot, since then. I managed to find an employer who gave a crap about my military service. They hired me. I have my own house, a car, great paying job. Oh and I am engaged to be married next November.
So it just took the right person. She changed my life. In all aspects. I've lost 20+ POUNDS using this site alone!
Her name is on my left arm.
So perhaps it's the person that makes the fight possible not the will of oneself.
Oh and if your interested: I was published in the local paper http://www.signalscv.com/archives/79477/0 -
I'm fat mainly because I'm lazy, I love eating junk food, have terrible portion control and willpower.0
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