dining with dieters

skater5

I don't know whether this is the right forum to ask this but since I'm already registered, I thought I'd ask here. I catch up with a certain friend sometimes, and we always go to a restaurant at her suggestion. I don't know if she's on a diet or what but almost every time we go to a restaurant , she would eat like 5 bites and say she's finished. Seriously. The first time we went out to eat , I realized after a while that she wasn't eating at all. Why suggest going to a restaurant if you're not going to eat?

One time I saw her eat lIke a normal amount that people would eat (I realize "normal" is hard to define, but it was more than 5 bites) and she said she was being "bad" (her word) for eating "so much." I mean, does she have an eating disorder ? She's so skinny, she must weigh 90 something. I am not exaggerating.

We've gone dining several times and it's gotten to the point where I want to scream at her to eat something or just not dine with her anymore. Am I being unreasonable? I was thinking this must be like how guys feel when they're out dining with a girl who will only eat a salad ( except those girls eat more than my friend) while the guy eats a big juicy steak.

What do you think? I like catching up with my friend but can I tell her I won't go out to a restaurant with her unless she eats? I mean, really actually "eat"? (more than a few bites). Should I ask her if she has an issue with eating? Should I tell her she's so skinny she can afford to gain weight? Thank you for any insight.

skater5

Any thoughts on this one?

feisty_bucket

skater5 wrote: »

What do you think? I like catching up with my friend but can I tell her I won't go out to a restaurant with her unless she eats?

Talking with her about it probably won't end well. I'd just suggest countering her offer to meet at a restaurant with something else. My favorite is always the walk-and-talk session. If not, you could just go to a coffee shop or drag her along on an errand or something.

TavistockToad

If you're truly concerned about her eating habits then, yes, talk to her. But not in a restaurant or public place.

techgal128

feisty_bucket wrote: »

skater5 wrote: »

What do you think? I like catching up with my friend but can I tell her I won't go out to a restaurant with her unless she eats?

Talking with her about it probably won't end well. I'd just suggest countering her offer to meet at a restaurant with something else. My favorite is always the walk-and-talk session. If not, you could just go to a coffee shop or drag her along on an errand or something.

Yeah, the walk and talk is good. It's always easier discussing things with people when you don't have to stare at their face constantly. You could always try joking around and say something like, "man, you eat like a bird. Do you always eat this little? Sure wish I had your stomach!" I knew a girl that would eat tiny bits at restaurants but would eat normally everywhere else. Kind of weird but it happens.

skater5

Thank you all for your input. The walk-and-talk sounds good. I want to say something to her but not sure how without it ruining the friendship.