Guess the Occupation of the Person Above You

tinuz

slimgirljo15 wrote: »

Love toy of the poor and not so famous

and still waiting for your call

tinuz

pimple popper....but only the difficult to reach ones

kq1981

Swim cap model

halflingpie

Prechews bubble gum to soften it up for nursing home residents.

slimgirljo15

Toenail manicurist.. for people who can't bend down to do their feet.

pizzamyheart

She's a tour guide specializing in residential tours. Don't be surprised if someday you are sitting in your underwear at your kitchen table drinking coffee when all of a sudden the back door opens and you see her leading a group of wide eyed tourists as she says "And here is the back hall leading to the kitchen. On your right you'll see (insert your name here) drinking coffee and getting ready for a busy day of holding down the sofa. On your left you'll see the refrigerator, which appears to be a nice stainless steel double door. She'll open and close it, comment about the lights and say hello to @Pandemonium (who is inside turning them on and off as the door opens and closes), then lead the group into your bathroom. Don't worry...its just what she does.

terrordawg

When you hate a performance but are too polite to show it, pizzamyheart will get the job DONE.
Services include:
✅ Heckling
✅ Arguing with an uncomfortable audience
✅ Stage storming
✅ Enthusiastic boo-ing

🍅 BONUS GIFT! LIMITED TIME OFFER 🍅
pizzamyheart will relentlessly throw tomatoes* at the performance artist of your choosing!

Call now! Only 38 easy payments of $29.95USD +GST +S&H +Candlelit dinner +Extra ticket cost +Room & Board depending how things go.

*Tomatoes NOT included

lx1x

Commercial announcer. 😆

pizzamyheart

He is a world renowned toe nail length expert. He will lay in bed with you and instantly be able to tell you if your toe nails need a trim. He is booked months in advance for this speciality service.

epr31295

They are a taste tester for dog bones!

pizzamyheart

He works at a doctors office in the Patient Insurance Department. He insures that the doctors have patients by jumping out at people from behind a corner and scaring them into heart attacks.

epr31295

have you ever seen that guy on the runway with the flags directing the plane into the terminal? Well he is that guys boss!

Pandemonium_

pizzamyheart wrote: »

She's a tour guide specializing in residential tours. Don't be surprised if someday you are sitting in your underwear at your kitchen table drinking coffee when all of a sudden the back door opens and you see her leading a group of wide eyed tourists as she says "And here is the back hall leading to the kitchen. On your right you'll see (insert your name here) drinking coffee and getting ready for a busy day of holding down the sofa. On your left you'll see the refrigerator, which appears to be a nice stainless steel double door. She'll open and close it, comment about the lights and say hello to @Pandemonium (who is inside turning them on and off as the door opens and closes), then lead the group into your bathroom. Don't worry...its just what she does.

Finally some *kitten* recognition!

Mr EPR is an Erongenous Personal Robot (hence his screen name), Model 312, software version 9.5 He is programmed to not only please his master, but to also make tuna melt sandwiches......with bacon. You have NOT lived until you've had a mind blowing EPR session and eaten a tuna melt off his cold, robotic chest.

pizzamyheart

He listens to your voicemails, then dresses up in costume, including wigs, dresses, fake mustaches, and high heels and then acts out the messages. He is a one man show and plays all the parts of the conversation participants himself. Its his way of trying to help you work your brain to prevent alzheimers.

tinuz

He's the toothfairy evil twin.....

He's not changing teeth for money that he found under the pillows of small children, but instead he places the dentures stolen from the eldery under the pillows of teenage girls.......

slimgirljo15

Rubber.. you want something rubbed he's your man.. bad back, he'll rub it, sore feet, he'll rub them.

Unknown

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Pandemonium_

Worlds most talented ventriloquist. For a small fee she will embarrass your friends by throwing her voice and making it seem like they are making fart noises.

pizzamyheart

He specializes in writing essays for the essay section of the MFP Premium Account applications. He will sell you an essay for whatever you are willing to spend. Depends how bad you want premium.

Pandemonium_

She hangs out in the produce section and offers to squeeze fruit for you. She specializes in lemons, although she will squeeze anything smaller than watermelons. If she gets paid, she considers it a fringe benefit.

pizzamyheart

He will dress up like a mime and follow you around so that other people seem less annoying to you

Pandemonium_

For those that do not have cable tv, she is a personal espn assistant. Re enacting every play from the nights games. For a small extra charge, she will pretend that your favorite sport is the single most important thing in the world. Replays cost extra.

pizzamyheart

He sits with your car for hours and hours reading aloud things such as trivia, history books, math books, and science. He will even recite the periodic table. After several days he gives you a certificate that your car is now, indeed, a Smart Car.

Pandemonium_

She is known as a "Netflix Maven". For a low, low monthly fee, she will watch every show for you so that everything appears in the "watch it again" section. She especially appeals to completists and those with compulsive behaviors.

pizzamyheart

For a small fee, he will pretend to murder you. Works great for getting out of an awkward date, or a bad day at work.

Pandemonium_

She runs a service call "311" If you call she always answers by saying "311, whats your funmergency" Basically its a service for when you have something really fun to tell people, but no one to tell it to.

pizzamyheart

Pandemonium_ wrote: »

She runs a service call "311" If you call she always answers by saying "311, whats your funmergency" Basically its a service for when you have something really fun to tell people, but no one to tell it to.

I always thought there should be a hotline for this. ^^^

Teaches llamas how to spell their name phonetically

Pandemonium_

Shes the chief nut milker for the worlds most popular almond milk corporation. Those who have seen her in action always come away satisfied.

pizzamyheart

World famous constipation artist. He will sit and drawer your caricature while you are trying to squeeze one out on the toilet.

Pandemonium_

She sells the naming rights to her body parts on ebay.