Am i over reacting?

lady_in_weighting
lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
Back in July last year, a mutual friend of both my boyfriends and I, asked him to sleep with her. This was obviously behind my back and I didnt find out about this till december last year. I was really upset and hurt that she would ask such a thing knowing that my boyfriend and I had been together for a year and a half at that point. He tells me he rejected her and I do believe that.

However, the months following her asking to sleep with him in July they both had private text conversations and would sent twitter jokes to each other. When we were out she would be flirtacious with my boyfriend. I knew that she fancied him but I had to brush it off.

When I confronted my boyfriend about her asking to sleep with him he told me he said 'no' to her and that I can trust him. I find it hard to trust him because she wouldnt just ask something like that out of the blue without him encouraging it. They werent even drunk. Im upset that he continued to have all this 'banter' back and forth with her after the advances she made.

He agreed to stop speaking to her after christmas but I rcently found out that she invited him out for drinks now she has slip with her boyfriend and he has added her as a friend on snapchat (for those who dont know what snapchat is, its where you send instant pictures messages back an forth to one another)

I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.

What are your thoughts and recommendations about what I should do?
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Replies

  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    JBU
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    I think you know the answer already you're just wanting people to confirm what you already believe, and that is to break up with him
  • taycheese
    taycheese Posts: 87 Member
    Break up with him.
  • wanderlustlover
    wanderlustlover Posts: 84 Member
    Definitely time to go your separate ways.
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
    He had time to rebuild the trust and stop talking to her, and he didn't. Doesn't mean he cheated on you, but he can't be trusted, I would dump him.
  • lheaton
    lheaton Posts: 51 Member
    You can't trust him. A trustworthy boyfriend would have told you the minute she asked him and he would not have been in contact with her again. Kick him to the curb and find a real man!
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
    I'm sorry, but I don't think you're overreacting.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Not the end of the world. Break up and go out and explore more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
    I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.

    He betrayed your trust. Time to move on.
  • healthyandfitgirl14
    healthyandfitgirl14 Posts: 413 Member
    ask one of his friends if you can sleep with him, then do it.


    or you could just dump him...
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    He may not have physically cheated, but there is also emotional cheating. If he hasn't made the steps to make you feel comfortable, then you need to move on. And clearly she wasn't a 'mutal' friend, or she wouldn't have asked him in the first place.
  • sawiemken
    sawiemken Posts: 39 Member
    ditch them both!!!!
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    I feel he has betrayed my trust by speaking to her again.

    He betrayed your trust. Time to move on.

    People betray trust all the time, the fact that he did it twice is your red flag...
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
    You're not over reacting.
    He's a cruddy boyfriend and she's a cruddy friend. I would let him go so your "friend" and "ex-boyfriend" can be cruddy together and you can find someone much better.
  • Dump him and then proposition her boyfriend for sex. But of course, don't do him if he says ,"Okay!".
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    This sounds like "White Trash Jerry Springer"
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    Definitely time to go your separate ways.

    One day love will find you
    Break those chains that bind you
    One night will remind you
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    ask one of his friends if you can sleep with him, then do it.


    or you could just dump him...
    Let me make firends with him first, then take option 1.
  • Lynds7128
    Lynds7128 Posts: 132
    1844089035_photobucket_208129_.jpg
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    Break up then thank God you don't have children or any other reason to ever have to speak to him again.
  • Lynds7128
    Lynds7128 Posts: 132
    Definitely time to go your separate ways.

    One day love will find you
    Break those chains that bind you
    One night will remind you


    HAHAHAHAHA^^^^^^^^
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    He has indeed broken your trust again and I think you should know what you should do.

    Value yourself, you are worth more than this, do you really want a whole life with a man whom you are unable to trust? Will he be with you through the difficult times? If you become ill? Will he treat you like a princess or just take you for granted? You may feel scared at becoming single again but life will move on......

    There will be someone else for you in the future, someone who will adore you and consider you really special- wait around for him and you will be so glad that you did. Let this man and your 'friend' get together if they so wish, you are worth so much more.

    Take care xxx
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    The fact that he didn't tell you in the first place, but you had to confront him..... broken trust.
  • joolywooly33
    joolywooly33 Posts: 421 Member
    even if he didnt get down and dirty with her, it sounds like an emotional affair! i would dump him..........
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    The fact that you are compelled to ask for relationship advice on MFP tells me you really know the answer and what you need to do. Sorry you're dealing with this.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    I would never put up with that. His behavior, whether he slept with her or not, is disrespectful and thoughtless and assumes you are a doormat. No question about it- move on.
  • cosmic8o8
    cosmic8o8 Posts: 131 Member
    These two people have zero respect for you. Walk away.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Threesome?
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    If it were me, I would end it. But it would also annoy me to no end that my so-called friend got what she wanted...
  • staplebug
    staplebug Posts: 189
    It sounds like he's keeping his options open by getting closer to her... not cool.