What should I do?

Hi there! I've been on MFP for 14 months and have lost 104 lbs. I feel great. I've never, ever been thin, like, since kindergarten. Well, it seems that I have perhaps lost a little too much, especially in my upper body. My lower body is heavier, although my sister insists it's not but all the loose skin makes it appear heavier. Anyway, my boyfriend has been saying for awhile and now my family has expressed concern that I look anorexic. They say my face is too drawn, my bones stick out and my shoulders and ribs jut out. I cannot disagree. I've never been in this position before, so I'm not really sure what to do. i don't want to ever go back to being heavy. I was miserable that way. My life has changed this past year in such positive ways, I want to keep that. I am 5'4 and vary from 118 - 122 lbs. generally. My doctor says that's normal and he doesn't think I'm too thin. But they're all really concerned.

I've bumped up my calories to around 1700 per day, sometimes more, whereas when I was losing, I was hovering around 1200 to 1300 per day. I do exercise every single day, but it's not just for weight loss. I've made some good friends just getting out there and being active. it also helps me deal with stress like I never, ever could imagine. I've had a lot of stress lately with my mother being extremely ill (she's going in for open-heart surgery tomorrow morning). The exercise has helped me more than anything to cope and feel some peace and comfort.

The thing is, i really really hate lifting weights. I do it sporadically, and usually for only like 20 minutes at a time. i do planks and crunches and stretching and some circuits at the gym, but I just can't get into it. The main exercises I do are Zumba (2 - 3 days per week), elliptical (2 - 3 days a week) and biking (on weekends, I try to do 20 - 40 miles). But I also have really fallen in love with running the last three months. i ran my first 10K a few weeks ago and it was amazing! I was so proud of myself and I finished pretty well, ran faster than I thought I could and didn't need to stop once. I'm training for a half-marathon for the fall but have a 5K and a 10K in the next two months scheduled. So, I've become an exercise buff.

I guess my real questions are:

1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?

Maintaining weight is confusing to me. I want to stay where I am but look better. My sister says that I can be a size six still but a different size six, where I don't look anorexic. I don't know how to do that.

Thanks for listening, and any advice is well appreciated!
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Replies

  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
    That weight seems appropriate for your height to me, and you look good in your tiny profile pic! Maybe wait a few months at maintenance and see if your loose skin retracts and if you and everyone else becomes accustomed to the new, slim you?
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    It does take time to readjust a body image. It can also really help to talk to a counsellor about your worries and fears. You've made a tremendous change in your life - you've lost a whole small person! And I would definitely talk to a trainer at the gym you're going to. I've taken aerobics and water aerobics classes where we work on our upper arms. Much more fun for me than weight lifting. But if you want to lift - and 20 minutes is FINE! - listen to music or books on tape or your favorite comedy program and let your body take care of itself while you brain goes on vacation.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?
  • TheBigFb
    TheBigFb Posts: 649 Member
    If you are worried about it, go to a doctor, get checked up. Are you family and boyfriend fat?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    edited February 2015
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?

    ^^I agree.

    I am not sure what advice to give about the strength training, because I love to lift. It makes me feel hard core. Have you tried Stronglifts 5X5. It's quick, about a half-hour. I only do it three times a week, and cardio on the other days. I can see my progress on SL 5X5 and that motivates me even more. You don't have to lift for an hour or two every day. There is a Stronglifts app you can download and follow on your phone. I found it at stronglifts.com.

  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?

    ^^I agree.

    I am not sure what advice to give about the strength training, because I love to lift. It makes me feel hard core. Have you tried Stronglifts 5X5. It's quick, about a half-hour. I only do it three times a week, and cardio on the other days. I can see my progress on SL 5X5 and that motivates me even more. You don't have to lift for an hour or two every day. There is a Stronglifts app you can download and follow on your phone. I found it at stronglifts.com.

    This is a good suggestion. If you haven't tried a program like this, it's worth a shot. If you've gone in and tried lifting, not really knowing what you're doing, not using weights appropriate for your level of strength, you wouldn't really know if you like it or not. You didn't mention what kind of weight lifting you've done, but it might be something you want to check out.I know that when I was just making stuff up in the weight room, not following a specific program, I didn't like it, either. You may still not like it, but you won't know until you try.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?

    ^^I agree.

    I am not sure what advice to give about the strength training, because I love to lift. It makes me feel hard core. Have you tried Stronglifts 5X5. It's quick, about a half-hour. I only do it three times a week, and cardio on the other days. I can see my progress on SL 5X5 and that motivates me even more. You don't have to lift for an hour or two every day. There is a Stronglifts app you can download and follow on your phone. I found it at stronglifts.com.

    I agree with this...STrong lifts doesn't take a long time at first and when it does start to you can modify it to 3x5 or move to another program.

    My workout without accessories (simple lifts like tricep extensions etc) takes make 10-15 mins now and I am lifting heavy weights. DL last night was 125 x5, 150x5 and 175x5...after a warm up I was in and done in about 11 mins. I do this 4x out of every 8...this summer I will condense it to 2 lifts each time so I can fit in my walks/biking etc.
  • ewhip17
    ewhip17 Posts: 515 Member
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?

    Yeah I think it's just the dramatic change that they are reacting to. I'm getting some of this as well but I know, for a fact, that I'm still far away from being "too thin". :smile:
    And I'm the same way - I just have no interest at all in lifting. I'm doing some resistance with TRX bands at home just to stay fit. If people love lifting I think that's awesome - I used to as well but it's just not anything I'm really interested in these days. You have to be healthy and happy - they will have to get used to it.
  • sarbear112084
    sarbear112084 Posts: 19 Member
    I felt the same way about lifting weights for the longest time. I hated it. and I mean HATED! however, my best friend is like 5'2 and 100lbs and she lifts 4 days a week (concentrating on 1 muscle group each day) and cardio 5 days a week. She always starts lifting days with a high intensity run for 10 min and then lifts for 30-40 minutes, on the 5th day she does all cardio. She is the thinnest she has ever been and eats more than what she used to when she did all cardio. She kept pushing me to do the same routine and i decided to give it a shot. We went in the gym together and she showed me her routine for each muscle group and did it with me the first couple of times. After that, I felt confident enough to start lifting alone. Now i love it!!! and it's done amazing things to my body and overall posture and strength. I feel so much stronger. My 2 main tips to enjoying lifting is 1.find a routine that you feel comfortable with and have someone do it with you a few times if that helps you get in the habit. 2. keep your heart rate up while lifting. this means short rest breaks and constant moving. If you have to, do some lifting, go sprint for 2-3 min, and go back to lifting and so on. that way you never feel bored!

    Good luck!
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
    1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
    When you ask this, do you mean the people that are saying you are too thin? When I initially lost my weight, people said similar things. But I wasn't and am still not underweight and people get used to it. I think it's more about them and the fact that they are not yet used to how you look now. (I'm 5'3'' and 110lb)

    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
    Be the size you and your doctor are happy with. Don't worry about the other people.

    3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
    If you really hate weight training then a class like Body Pump might help? I hated strength training before that class, and now I love it. Also it's more interactive than doing it on your own and will introduce you to some compound moves.

    4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
    This depends on what your attitude to food is.

    5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?
    Not sure.

    Hope this might help a little :)

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    Go with what your doctor says and ignore your family. They are likely responding more to the change than what you actually look like.
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    Well, lifting weights is not just for vanity and looks, it is really good for you. It strengthens your bones and keeps your muscles firm and strong. I like doing classes that incorporate weight training, like Orange Theory and Crossfit. It keeps it interesting if you're having issues with boredom. Experiment, one size doesn't fit all. :)
  • johjeff
    johjeff Posts: 14 Member
    Have you ever seen a marathon runner that wasn't skinny? Excessive cardio will start to burn muscle for energy if there isn't anything else to use. You don't have to lift weights to add resistance training to your exercise plan.

    Maybe cut back on cardio 15-20% and add some calisthenics. You can even add body weight exercises to your cardio routine. Do a circuit - walk/run for a 1/4 mile then stop and do 10 pushups, squats, crunches, dips, or rows. If you have a park to go to, you can do some exercises on the playground - maybe not when it's full of kids though :smile:
  • jensiegel39
    jensiegel39 Posts: 163 Member
    Thanks for all the responses. I saw a trainer for the first few months I started losing weight but then did not want to keep paying. I felt I understood what to do. He's have me work on each area for every workout, some arms, legs, core, etc... I mix it up. I do free-weights like curls, lifting in front, sides, dead lifts and the one where you hold the weight over your head and let it fall behind your head (obviously I don't know what it's called). I guess I'd like it better if I did get a routine, so I should try it. I also want to check out cross fit because my sister really loves it. I also do the circuits sometimes, and I do mix it up with push-ups, lunges, squats, and crunches. I could add sprinting in there too on the treadmill. I think i have done what someone said though; I've done so much cardio that I'm burning muscle because there is no more fat. My sister showed me how my arms and upper body have no fat and I'm literally skin and bones. I guess I do need to focus more and perhaps I will check out some of the programs / routines you suggested. I did a few classes at the gym for a few weeks that involved lifting light weights along with aerobics, and they were okay. But i can't always make it to them when they're held because of my work schedule. I think I have to develop a solid gym routine that I can stand and that will put some muscle back onto me and then perhaps I can find something to like about it. But cardio is just so much more fun! I do know though through my research of running that it's important to build my core, so I intend to really focus this upcoming week on that.

    Thanks again to everyone who responded. And I do think that my image of myself is more important; I just didn't know my family felt that way. It surprised me.
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    Your weight seems good for you height to me, too. Maybe you & your family just are so used to seeing you as heavier, that you look too thin in comparison to how you used to look. From the pictures in your profile, I do not feel like you look too thin, emancipated or sickly.

    What kind of weight lifting have you tried?

    This is my thought. They are used to seeing you heavier, and you are used to being heavier. Give them and yourself time to adjust. I think you look great in your picture. Congratulations on the weight loss. Excellent work.

  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    It did take a long time for people to get used my current weight - and I'm right in the middle of the healthy range and was never overweight. That's especially true if they are looking at heavier people all the time. My mother keeps saying I'm too skinny - and I'm the same weight I was when I graduated from college and got married. Give it time.
  • harieta
    harieta Posts: 135 Member
    1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
    3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
    4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
    5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?

    Hello!
    From what you are saying I understand that you lost weight, your family seems concerned that you might have lost too much, although your doctor tells you your weight is OK and you re considering building up muscles without lifting weights.

    First of all, congratulations for your success!
    To answer the first question - they probably see the difference from what you used to look like or maybe see you looking different than what they think is ok/average/healthy. - and I am not sure what is the average/normal for them. If they think someone with a BMI within normal range looks anorexic because everyone around them is overweight... there's not much you can do about that. (I am not saying that they do, I have no idea, you probably know best what their perception of HEALTHY is.)
    I had a look at your pictures - because we have approximately the same height and weight. You don't look anorexic, but building some muscles is likely to make your body look even better.
    You are looking for fun exercises - Have you had a look on youtube at Jillian Michaels' workouts? That's how I started exercising last year and although I had very little fat I wanted to get rid of, I managed that and I managed to build some muscles - in a fun (and painful!) way. My weight has not changed, it was more like body recomposition, because the shape of my body has - and I love it!!
    She uses dumbbells and bodyweight. The workouts are 30 min, on average, you have all sorts of ways to adapt the exercise to your level of fitness, you start with level one than gradually move on to harder and more complex stuff.
    If you are not a big fan of Jillian Michaels - (some people cannot stand her, or her left nostril) try similart programs out there px90, insanity - they use bodyweight and should help you with your goal.
    The major advantage of this is that you can do all this at home.
    You may want to track your protein intake as well - could not see that in your diary, although your diet seemed fairly balanced.
    Things will not change overnight, it will take some time to notice differences, but if you do something you enjoy, you will love the journey as well!
    Again big congrats on your weight loss and good luck!
  • jessimacd
    jessimacd Posts: 53 Member
    I had a similar experience, although no one went as far as implying that I was anorexic... I'm 5"9, and at my thinnest was 148lbs. Thing is, my face, shoulders and arms seem to thin out faster than the rest of my body, so in a way I could see how some might have thought I looked "too thin", however, at that weight my belly and thighs still weren't where I wanted them to be. I realize now I should have been doing more toning exercises, but still - it sucked to be feeling proud of my accomplishments and then have people telling me I was starting to look too thin. I think what happens is that people get used to seeing you a certain size, then have a hard time getting used to the "new" you. To be honest, as excited as I am about reaching my goals someday, I'm not entirely looking forward to my co-workers' comments, because they've never known me as "smaller Jess". In fact, when I started back on up MPF, with these first 10lbs I've lost, I've already had a co-worker comment that I'm "fading away"... I still have like 30lbs to go, lol!!

    Your struggles sound similar to mine, and I feel your frustration. The only advice I can give is, seeing as how your weight sounds perfectly healthy for your height, keep doing what you're doing and tell anyone who expresses concerns about you having an eating disorder to "suck it". :-P

  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    johjeff wrote: »
    Have you ever seen a marathon runner that wasn't skinny? Excessive cardio will start to burn muscle for energy if there isn't anything else to use. You don't have to lift weights to add resistance training to your exercise plan.

    Maybe cut back on cardio 15-20% and add some calisthenics. You can even add body weight exercises to your cardio routine. Do a circuit - walk/run for a 1/4 mile then stop and do 10 pushups, squats, crunches, dips, or rows. If you have a park to go to, you can do some exercises on the playground - maybe not when it's full of kids though :smile:

    6'0", 153 pound marathoner here (155 in profile pic)- roughly same BMI (low 20) as OP.

    Can confirm excessive cardio makes building bulk/muscle difficult ... but not impossible. I started doin P90X specifically for keeping what tiny muscle mass I have, and it does a pretty good job. Not much weightlifting in P90X - mostly bodyweight exercise (pushups, pullups, etc) but some (small amount) of weights with a dumbell set. See profile pic for details on P90X retaining muscle for us newly small folk.

    To OP: Fark 'em. The only person who needs to be happy with the way you look/feel is you.

    You have a Doc's confirmation - a Trained Medical Professional - that you are at a healthy weight. What more do you need? If you are comfortable, stay at this weight and fook everybody else, right? It's none of their business.

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    1&2) It's fairly commonly reported that friends and families of people start to think they look "too thin" when they are approaching their goal weight. If your doctor says not to worry, and you feel good, I wouldn't worry about it. They will adjust eventually.

    3.) There probably isn't much you can do to "bulk" your upper body. Even weight lifting will only do so much...also, if you don't like it, don't do it!

    4.) If you're eating within your recommended calories for maintaining, then no, you probably don't have an eating disorder.

    5.) Probably not, though it may make your family feel better if you get another professional opinion.

    Bonus: Don't let what they're saying get to you. If you're within the normal healthy weight range for your height, then don't worry about it. Their perceptions are skewed because they're used to seeing you a particular way. And change is scary. They'll adjust.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    edited February 2015

    I guess my real questions are:

    1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
    3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
    4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
    5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?

    Maintaining weight is confusing to me. I want to stay where I am but look better. My sister says that I can be a size six still but a different size six, where I don't look anorexic. I don't know how to do that.

    Thanks for listening, and any advice is well appreciated!

    I think maintaining your current weight for a few months and see how your body changes is a good idea. You and your loved ones are still filtering through the lens of the heavier person you used to be, so it is not unusual to appear more gaunt than you really are.

    If you are concerned about having developed an ED, perhaps consulting your doctor and/or a therapist would be a great sounding board. Same thing with an RD. They can look at your current eating habits and make suggestions or just calm those fears. It may also help you come to terms with the new you and your very real fears of regaining. Maintenance, for those of us who have a lot of weight to lose, can be a very scary place and talking over the fear is really helpful.

    I am a huge fan of swimming for upper body exercise. It is fun and works out all of the upper body and arm muscle groups at the same time (not to mention the legs and especially glutes). You don't have to swim like Michael Phelps, just move through the water the best you can. I do the breast stroke and my upper body has really started gaining muscle definition and strength.

  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.

    I completely understand about this. It's pretty common for people to be anxious about eating more as they shift from losing to maintaining. It took me a couple of weeks to see that I was not, in fact, going to start gaining weight at a higher calorie level. If you've set a decent weight range (which it looks like you have) and you can get used to fluctuating between those numbers, you'll find that your anxiety will fade over time.
  • estitom
    estitom Posts: 205 Member
    1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
    As others have been stating, you're probably not used to it. Your family isn't used to it either.

    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
    Okay so overall you don't seem like a person who needs to put on weight, but this attitude isn't very healthy either. I've had anorexia and this fear was the one that followed me all through recovery - every pound was like a scream from hell. Now when I'm recovered, some pounds more or less don't matter in the short term. (Conclusion: maybe you don't need to gain weight, but you need to deal with those thoughts because they could definitely cause problems.)

    3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
    Don't really have an answer to this question... Maybe you could do strength training and cardio on the same day and "treat yourself" with cardio? :wink:

    4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
    Anorexia isn't the only eating disorder out there, so don't bother thinking about whether you fit the criterias for that. Most eating disordered people don't have anorexia. But it's difficult for us to know since we don't see your behavior or your feelings towards food during the day. The only one who can really answer this question is a doctor/psychiatrist.

    5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?
    It won't make it worse :smile:
  • brandi712
    brandi712 Posts: 407 Member
    Maybe your family just isn't used to this you yet. You've said that your doctor says you are a healthy weight so I'd just roll with it :)
  • Hi! you look fantastic! The important part is...HOW DO YOU FEEL???? (energy-wise)
    Also, you don't have to lift weights to maintain fitness. If you prefer things like zumba and running just do what works for you of course! Maybe you can start integrating some body weight exercises to start with. If you end up enjoying those then you can consider incorporating some weights. But if you are dealing with stressors and other things just introduce one new thing at a time. There is no reason to feel like you need to be doing everything all at once. Clearly, you have made progress and should be proud at the strides you have already taken.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    edited February 2015
    Hi there! I've been on MFP for 14 months and have lost 104 lbs. I feel great. I've never, ever been thin, like, since kindergarten. Well, it seems that I have perhaps lost a little too much, especially in my upper body. My lower body is heavier, although my sister insists it's not but all the loose skin makes it appear heavier. Anyway, my boyfriend has been saying for awhile and now my family has expressed concern that I look anorexic. They say my face is too drawn, my bones stick out and my shoulders and ribs jut out. I cannot disagree. I've never been in this position before, so I'm not really sure what to do. i don't want to ever go back to being heavy. I was miserable that way. My life has changed this past year in such positive ways, I want to keep that. I am 5'4 and vary from 118 - 122 lbs. generally. My doctor says that's normal and he doesn't think I'm too thin. But they're all really concerned.

    I've bumped up my calories to around 1700 per day, sometimes more, whereas when I was losing, I was hovering around 1200 to 1300 per day. I do exercise every single day, but it's not just for weight loss. I've made some good friends just getting out there and being active. it also helps me deal with stress like I never, ever could imagine. I've had a lot of stress lately with my mother being extremely ill (she's going in for open-heart surgery tomorrow morning). The exercise has helped me more than anything to cope and feel some peace and comfort.

    The thing is, i really really hate lifting weights. I do it sporadically, and usually for only like 20 minutes at a time. i do planks and crunches and stretching and some circuits at the gym, but I just can't get into it. The main exercises I do are Zumba (2 - 3 days per week), elliptical (2 - 3 days a week) and biking (on weekends, I try to do 20 - 40 miles). But I also have really fallen in love with running the last three months. i ran my first 10K a few weeks ago and it was amazing! I was so proud of myself and I finished pretty well, ran faster than I thought I could and didn't need to stop once. I'm training for a half-marathon for the fall but have a 5K and a 10K in the next two months scheduled. So, I've become an exercise buff.

    I guess my real questions are:

    1) Why can I not see what everyone else sees?
    2) What, if anything, should I do about this? I'm terrified in a way to put on weight, even if it's muscle, because I don't want to be heavier than this.
    3) What types of exercises could bulk my upper body up a bit and be fun to do? Is there any way to get around just sitting there and lifting weights, which I find so boring?
    4) Is it possible I've developed an eating disorder or something even though I feel I'm eating all the time? I am not anorexic if I'm eating all the time, am I? Should I eat more calories for the exercise I'm doing?
    5) Will seeing a registered dietician help me?

    Maintaining weight is confusing to me. I want to stay where I am but look better. My sister says that I can be a size six still but a different size six, where I don't look anorexic. I don't know how to do that.

    Thanks for listening, and any advice is well appreciated!

    I can relate to this. I lost 45 pounds and am where I want to be, betwen 125-130. I am 5'4" and 49 years old. I have switched my focus from being "skinny" to being more defined and strong. I don't want to just be skinny. I also am afraid to gain weight back, and weigh daily to keep a close eye. I see some more definition in my arms, and I think some great arm exercises are pushups, pull-ups (assisted) and burpees. I hate to use the C-word, but CrossFit is an awesome place to have a great time and learn about lifting..
    In your diary I noticed you dont track your protein, If you are intersted in weight training, building muscle, you may want to look at that.
    Looking at your diary I do not think you have an eating disorder. If you are like anyone else who has lost a lot of weight, you may spend a lot of time talking about diet and exercise which some people translate as being obsessive or now having a disorder. No, it's just your new way of life that you are excited about!I think you look good, like others have said they are just not used to seeing you this way.


  • BABetter1
    BABetter1 Posts: 618 Member
    Couple of years ago, I got down to 170. Previously, I had gotten up to about 220. But, throughout my 20s, I was 120-125 pounds at 5'5". That was my "normal" healthy weight. Anyway, when I hit 170, I plateaued. But, I had so many people telling me I looked great but to stop losing because I was bordering on "too much". My face gets very thin when I'm not heavy, and people are really not used to seeing me like that since I've been about this heavy for a decade. But, it made me feel very torn. I wanted to lose more. I carry a lot of weight in my stomach, and I was still a size 12 when I would have liked to be more like a size 8. Like someone else said, you just need to maintain and let them get more time with you as you are now. They will get used to your new "normal". There is nothing wrong with being the healthy weight that you are now.
  • jessready
    jessready Posts: 129 Member
    Hi, the same thing happened to me last June/July. I let it get to me as I'm a people pleaser and put on 10 pounds....even stopped exercising. Anyway now I'm back at it, because I'm not happy. I need to worry about me and what I like. My hubby has never complained, but I had moms, grandmas ect telling me I looked sick/too thin. I was 114 @ 5ft 3inch and I know not underweight. As for weights......start small and work your way up
  • jensiegel39
    jensiegel39 Posts: 163 Member
    Thanks to all of you for your responses. I'm sorry I haven't responded. I've had a family tragedy this week with my mother and haven't been home long enough to even read all these responses. I hope to get back later in the week. Thanks again and I will touch base as I can.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    I don't think you look too thin at all. They just are used to you being fat. Don't go back to being fat just to appease others. They will adjust soon.