Taking pictures is the best way to shame yourself back on track

Losingthedamnweight

I can't be seen in pictures. I just can't. When I smile it looks awkward, so I never bother. But now seeing how fat and disgusting I am, it's motivated me to get back on track and stop screwing up. It's been so long since I could say I took pride in my appearance. Maybe Its my anxiety and lack of confidence talking, but I cant stand my fat face. I remember when I used to actually have bone structure. Now it's just so...round and puffy.

Sometimes when I don't look at myself for awhile I forget just how fat I am and get complacent. I need to stop doing that. I've got more than 80 lbs to lose and it won't come off if I'm not looking at the seriousness of my weight problem. I've finally gotten to the point where I'm full on less calories, so I think things are starting to turn around. Wish me luck guys!



Me last weekend at a painting class. I don't think my face has ever been so round. I can't stand it



Me just now at work. If my shirt wasn't black, you could see my gut hanging out and moobs. I'm sticking to my eating and exercise this time like a boss. I don't wanna be like this any longer

Sued0nim

You're face dysmorphic

I think you look rather cute

reginastiffler

If hating yourself helps you lose weight, then more power to you. Personally, I don't think you look bad at all.
For me, hating the way I look leads me to binge...

47Jacqueline

You're kinda cute. Wait till you start seeing cheekbones, and it looks like you've got a clef chin trying to peek out.

mockchoc

I think tons of guys would kill for a face like yours. You're gorgeous.

tia530

You're handsome in both; good luck with your goals, you can do this

Liftng4Lis

You need to back off yourownself!

juganaut

Firstly, you're gorgeous.
Secondly, work on your inner dialogue so that it's not so hateful towards yourself.
Thirdly, get your act together and work towards what you want to achieve so you can look at yourself and be proud.

This is the advice I give to you and the advice I need to follow myself. I just had a binge session and I'm ashamed but instead of feeling hate, I am choosing to approach it like I would an injured bird and try to tenderly figure out why the *kitten* I just ate all that stuff...

Tomorrow is a new day.

Sued0nim

Ya see cute becomes hot with inner confidence

Work on that bit

Liftng4Lis

rabbitjb wrote: »

Ya see cute becomes hot with inner confidence

Work on that bit

YES!

palwithme

You are VERY handsome, so change that ++++ right now. That will not change no matter how much weight you gain or lose.

NurseCU

I'm sure you wouldn't let anyone else talk to you the way you are talking to yourself. I see a very handsome man in both of your pictures. I think we all tend to focus on the little flaws we have in ourselves, but really, look at yourself, you have great features. Start telling yourself positive things you see in yourself, and build your confidence up instead of tearing it down. Love yourself because you are worth it. I think its great that you are so motivated, and wanting to make a change!

atypicalsmith

You are way to young for me, so I won't answer the way the teenyboppers did Whenever I accidentally see myself in a mirror or plate glass window, I still don't recognize myself. It's a shock that, wow, that's ME! I've lost 18 pounds since August, and am continuing to do so. Keep up with what you are doing!

6154terrance

Don't be so hard on yourself. Because that will make you hate yourself any time you slip. I think the aggressiveness and determination to succeed are awesome though. I too have the round face, gut and moobs. I'm also sick of it. I'm going to be a healthier person. Your post is very brave. I congratulate you for it. I wish you all the best on your journey. I hope I can keep up my will power to succeed. If you need support/accountability I can be there for you. Terry

obscuremusicreference

juganaut wrote: »

I just had a binge session and I'm ashamed but instead of feeling hate, I am choosing to approach it like I would an injured bird and try to tenderly figure out why the *kitten* I just ate all that stuff...

hahahahahahahaha, I get this. "Why did I eat that? Oh, I was mad? Well, that's not terribly constructive."

Keep at it. Things will work out! And be kind to yourself.

alawko

I echo the others you are quite handsome but I understand not thinking the same. I'm torn because I think the negative self talk is harmful in the long run but if that's how you motivate yourself I understand it,maybe because I had myself convinced that even over 200 lbs I looked great and I've been fat my whole life and only now faced with health issues that I need to take care of myself and lose weight, I don't understand tying your self worth up in what your body looks like but deep down I do understand it hopefully when you lose whatever weight you want to lose you will appreciate that beautiful face of yours and appreciate yourself for who you are and the hard work that you put in to reach your goal.
Hopefully I'm not coming off as preachy.

sarah72085

Personally I think you are very handsome but I know how what you think about yourself can be extremely different from what others think. Best of luck! Everyone will be rooting for you.

katkins73

I bet your daughter thinks you are the most amazing man in the world I think you look great, I love the beard and don't think you look round faced at all, in fact you are blessed with the sort of looks that mean that you can get away with putting on a few pounds and just look rugged and manly! However I know how it is to hate the weight. Use it as motivation

karyabc

WTF dude fat and disgusting?? let's just say if you would be in a dating site i would PM ASAP #NoShame *_*

maxit

"Let the beatings continue until morale improves" doesn't work for me

Ooci

Why do you think this way? You're a smouldering, handsome hunk of a man!

azulvioleta6

If a woman posted something like this, I would think that she was fishing for compliments. Somehow I don't get that from you, but I don't know why.

You look good to me! I love short, dark hair and green eyes. You have an interesting face and look like you might have something to say about the world.

bkerr30

rabbitjb wrote: »

Ya see cute becomes hot with inner confidence

Work on that bit

Agreed!

NikonPal

Lack of pride in appearance…no photos…mirror avoidance…yup I can relate and yes – you got this. I had to lose just a little bit more than you – ok – 100 pounds more.
I’m nearing my own goal now – down 182 pounds as of last week. Best wishes.

arditarose

Dude. You're really attractive. Get it together!

hellcaterika

I'm new here and reading threads. I'll give it to you straight. You have gorgeous eyes. You're not face dysmorphic. 3 years ago when I was 137 (had lost 20 lbs from 157) I was still working on my weightloss. However I side tracked gained a bit, but 2 years later had a bone tumor in my ankle which set me back another 23lbs. And my face got round too. I say if you want to look lean and have your features stick out then go for it! Don't give up. I too am working on those 20 to 40 lbs. Tired of my round face too!

Mouse_Potato

I think everyone else covered the advice aspect, so I'll just say "how YOU doin'?"

happygalah

Like the others said, you are really attractive already. If you are struggling, remind yourself that this isn't just about appearance but about achieving good health for yourself and your daughter.

Losingthedamnweight

alawko wrote: »

I echo the others you are quite handsome but I understand not thinking the same. I'm torn because I think the negative self talk is harmful in the long run but if that's how you motivate yourself I understand it,maybe because I had myself convinced that even over 200 lbs I looked great and I've been fat my whole life and only now faced with health issues that I need to take care of myself and lose weight, I don't understand tying your self worth up in what your body looks like but deep down I do understand it hopefully when you lose whatever weight you want to lose you will appreciate that beautiful face of yours and appreciate yourself for who you are and the hard work that you put in to reach your goal.
Hopefully I'm not coming off as preachy.

Not preachy at all! It's exactly what I needed to hear. Especially last night when I posted this. I didn't even realize how super negative I sounded until people started commenting about it and then I went back and re read it and couldn't believe I was telling myself all that.

The night I was having at work definitely contributed to that. I typed all that out in the middle of 1) hiding from my boss and 2) dealing with residents. I'm a Cna working night shift (I take care of the disabled) and man oh man it must've been a full moon last night because everybody was very...challenging. It was hard to think very positive about myself in the middle of getting hit and spit on. I have to use a lot of my mental energy on just being professional and being good to everyone. It's hard having a job that is this frustrating but you can't show frustration. I feel like I never have an outlet to just be myself.

And this problem with my weight has gone on forever. I wrap way too much of myself in my appearance. Everytime I look in the mirror I feel like I could look so much better. It's this vicious cycle of " I feel bad about the way I look..I think I'll go pig out!" Then "why did I pig out? That was so stupid. What's wrong with me? I think I should...PIG OUT!" And a lot of people that haven't been big just don't understand that weight isn't just appearance. It's a part of your life. It's missed opportunities. It's shame. It's feeling like you failed every time you looked in the mirror. It's having a ton of what if's. What if I was healthy and in shape? Would I have gone back to school? Had a different career? Been married by now? Made my daughter more proud of me? Had the confidence to go out and experience more of life?

I guess I just need to look at myself differently. It's so hard to when you've spent a decade telling yourself horrible things. I should know I'm a good person dammit! I'm a good dad. My kid thinks I'm a freaking superhero. Why can't I think that? I take care of the disabled for a living and I'm damn good at it. I'm good to people. I help people whenever I can. And yet even typing this is hard because saying good things about myself makes me feel like an arrogant douche

Losingthedamnweight

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

If a woman posted something like this, I would think that she was fishing for compliments. Somehow I don't get that from you, but I don't know why.

You look good to me! I love short, dark hair and green eyes. You have an interesting face and look like you might have something to say about the world.

Lol probably because I went on a little much about how bad I look? Oh man I didn't even realize how bad I talk to myself. Like I said in the post above, it was a bad time for me.

Reading all these posts from you guys was totally...not what I expected at all. I only posted the pics in the first place cause I never have before and I thought about how sick I am of hiding how I look so I said "eff it. These people will pretty much confirm how bad I look". I halfway expected a couple posts saying "meh..." And then that's it but all these posts made me realize I have issues I need to work out.

I'm at work again reading these (probably not the best place to be typing things up. In retrospect) and I've just been thinking about all the years I wasted being hard on myself just because I grew up so hard and didn't let myself think positively. The what ifs are gonna drive me crazy, but I gotta think more to the future than the past right now. I can't just fix the weight. I'll probably get in shape and still be hard on myself until I fix what's on the inside. This chip on my shoulder is getting mighty heavy!

ejmartin2001

Hang in, buddy! I've been consciously telling my negative inner voice to shut up for quite a while, and now look in the mirror and think "it'll be great when I can see my cheekbones and just one chin again!" This seems to be a great site all around; for accountability, encouragement, and support. I suggest you practice looking in the mirror and telling yourself at least one positive thing daily! (and tell that negative inner voice to pipe down).