Taking pictures is the best way to shame yourself back on track

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  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    If a woman posted something like this, I would think that she was fishing for compliments. Somehow I don't get that from you, but I don't know why.

    You look good to me! I love short, dark hair and green eyes. You have an interesting face and look like you might have something to say about the world.
  • bkerr30
    bkerr30 Posts: 131 Member
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    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Ya see cute becomes hot with inner confidence

    Work on that bit

    Agreed!
  • NikonPal
    NikonPal Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Lack of pride in appearance…no photos…mirror avoidance…yup I can relate and yes – you got this. I had to lose just a little bit more than you – ok – 100 pounds more.
    I’m nearing my own goal now – down 182 pounds as of last week. Best wishes.

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Dude. You're really attractive. Get it together!
  • hellcaterika
    hellcaterika Posts: 12 Member
    edited February 2015
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    I'm new here and reading threads. I'll give it to you straight. You have gorgeous eyes. You're not face dysmorphic. 3 years ago when I was 137 (had lost 20 lbs from 157) I was still working on my weightloss. However I side tracked gained a bit, but 2 years later had a bone tumor in my ankle which set me back another 23lbs. And my face got round too. I say if you want to look lean and have your features stick out then go for it! Don't give up. I too am working on those 20 to 40 lbs. Tired of my round face too!
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,503 Member
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    I think everyone else covered the advice aspect, so I'll just say "how YOU doin'?" ;)
  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
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    Like the others said, you are really attractive already. If you are struggling, remind yourself that this isn't just about appearance but about achieving good health for yourself and your daughter.
  • Losingthedamnweight
    Losingthedamnweight Posts: 535 Member
    edited February 2015
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    alawko wrote: »
    I echo the others you are quite handsome but I understand not thinking the same. I'm torn because I think the negative self talk is harmful in the long run but if that's how you motivate yourself I understand it,maybe because I had myself convinced that even over 200 lbs I looked great and I've been fat my whole life and only now faced with health issues that I need to take care of myself and lose weight, I don't understand tying your self worth up in what your body looks like but deep down I do understand it hopefully when you lose whatever weight you want to lose you will appreciate that beautiful face of yours and appreciate yourself for who you are and the hard work that you put in to reach your goal.
    Hopefully I'm not coming off as preachy.

    Not preachy at all! It's exactly what I needed to hear. Especially last night when I posted this. I didn't even realize how super negative I sounded until people started commenting about it and then I went back and re read it and couldn't believe I was telling myself all that.

    The night I was having at work definitely contributed to that. I typed all that out in the middle of 1) hiding from my boss and 2) dealing with residents. I'm a Cna working night shift (I take care of the disabled) and man oh man it must've been a full moon last night because everybody was very...challenging. It was hard to think very positive about myself in the middle of getting hit and spit on. I have to use a lot of my mental energy on just being professional and being good to everyone. It's hard having a job that is this frustrating but you can't show frustration. I feel like I never have an outlet to just be myself.

    And this problem with my weight has gone on forever. I wrap way too much of myself in my appearance. Everytime I look in the mirror I feel like I could look so much better. It's this vicious cycle of " I feel bad about the way I look..I think I'll go pig out!" Then "why did I pig out? That was so stupid. What's wrong with me? I think I should...PIG OUT!" And a lot of people that haven't been big just don't understand that weight isn't just appearance. It's a part of your life. It's missed opportunities. It's shame. It's feeling like you failed every time you looked in the mirror. It's having a ton of what if's. What if I was healthy and in shape? Would I have gone back to school? Had a different career? Been married by now? Made my daughter more proud of me? Had the confidence to go out and experience more of life?

    I guess I just need to look at myself differently. It's so hard to when you've spent a decade telling yourself horrible things. I should know I'm a good person dammit! I'm a good dad. My kid thinks I'm a freaking superhero. Why can't I think that? I take care of the disabled for a living and I'm damn good at it. I'm good to people. I help people whenever I can. And yet even typing this is hard because saying good things about myself makes me feel like an arrogant douche
  • Losingthedamnweight
    Losingthedamnweight Posts: 535 Member
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    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    If a woman posted something like this, I would think that she was fishing for compliments. Somehow I don't get that from you, but I don't know why.

    You look good to me! I love short, dark hair and green eyes. You have an interesting face and look like you might have something to say about the world.

    Lol probably because I went on a little much about how bad I look? Oh man I didn't even realize how bad I talk to myself. Like I said in the post above, it was a bad time for me.

    Reading all these posts from you guys was totally...not what I expected at all. I only posted the pics in the first place cause I never have before and I thought about how sick I am of hiding how I look so I said "eff it. These people will pretty much confirm how bad I look". I halfway expected a couple posts saying "meh..." And then that's it but all these posts made me realize I have issues I need to work out.

    I'm at work again reading these (probably not the best place to be typing things up. In retrospect) and I've just been thinking about all the years I wasted being hard on myself just because I grew up so hard and didn't let myself think positively. The what ifs are gonna drive me crazy, but I gotta think more to the future than the past right now. I can't just fix the weight. I'll probably get in shape and still be hard on myself until I fix what's on the inside. This chip on my shoulder is getting mighty heavy!
  • ejmartin2001
    ejmartin2001 Posts: 19 Member
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    Hang in, buddy! I've been consciously telling my negative inner voice to shut up for quite a while, and now look in the mirror and think "it'll be great when I can see my cheekbones and just one chin again!" This seems to be a great site all around; for accountability, encouragement, and support. I suggest you practice looking in the mirror and telling yourself at least one positive thing daily! (and tell that negative inner voice to pipe down).
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    Yeah...start with the smouldering eyes <nods> :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    for me taking photos wouldnt motivate me to lose weight, seeing how much i have changed after 6 months would encourage me to continue.

    That reminds me i really should find some photos from before i started losing weight. if i new then that i would lose 30kg i would have taken a lot more photos, topless etc so i can see what has actually changed.

    Cause it happens so gradually i just don't notice.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I'm in the 'you're handsome' wagon, lol. But I get it. Good luck!
  • Losingthedamnweight
    Losingthedamnweight Posts: 535 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    I'm in the 'you're handsome' wagon, lol. But I get it. Good luck!

    Lol back atcha!
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    Losingthedamnweight wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    If a woman posted something like this, I would think that she was fishing for compliments. Somehow I don't get that from you, but I don't know why.

    You look good to me! I love short, dark hair and green eyes. You have an interesting face and look like you might have something to say about the world.

    Lol probably because I went on a little much about how bad I look? Oh man I didn't even realize how bad I talk to myself. Like I said in the post above, it was a bad time for me.

    Reading all these posts from you guys was totally...not what I expected at all. I only posted the pics in the first place cause I never have before and I thought about how sick I am of hiding how I look so I said "eff it. These people will pretty much confirm how bad I look". I halfway expected a couple posts saying "meh..." And then that's it but all these posts made me realize I have issues I need to work out.

    I'm at work again reading these (probably not the best place to be typing things up. In retrospect) and I've just been thinking about all the years I wasted being hard on myself just because I grew up so hard and didn't let myself think positively. The what ifs are gonna drive me crazy, but I gotta think more to the future than the past right now. I can't just fix the weight. I'll probably get in shape and still be hard on myself until I fix what's on the inside. This chip on my shoulder is getting mighty heavy!

    I am the person who would come right out and say "meh" if that was the case. It is not. I don't see your face as round at all.

    You are only 29--you have lots of living left to do and many more chances to get things right.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Another vote for handsome!

    Good to see you've realized how hard on yourself you were being.

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