Are you pregnant? "no, just fat..."

shhsonya
shhsonya Posts: 7
in Motivation and Support
Hi there,

I just suscribed like 3 days ago to this site. Saturday, I was working, and someone told me "wow, are you pregnant?" I was like.. "no, I'm just fat", and then she said "oh you really need to lose weight! stop bread and pastas!" I was motivated before, but this comment just pissed me off. My highest percentage of body fat is over my belly, which makes me look pregnant because I got small legs/arms... Do I have to exercise my abs more? What can I do to lose this fat? I'm walking/slow running everyday, but is it enough? I'm a little pissed, but I will continue for sure... I'm searching for moral support too, feel free to add me as a friend :).

Sonya
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Replies

  • SimplyDenyse
    SimplyDenyse Posts: 124 Member
    I used to get that question all the time. What made it sting even more is that I had gone through a etopic pregnancy and an early miscarriage not even a year before. So I felt like not only am I fat but Im a failure.. Its actually why I joined MFP. Anyhow, I have to say that after I lost the first 20 lbs and now Im doing ab exercises Im really starting to notice that preggo belly look go away. Unfortunantly its gonna take time but I promise one day your gonna look and notice hey its going down. I also have lowered my sodium intake and quit diet sodas in hopes that would help as well.
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    That would piss me off so bad. Seriously, I didn't even experience it myself and I want to punch that person, and I'm pear shaped! o:
  • Beckaroo94
    Beckaroo94 Posts: 66
    What are people's problem? Don't let this wretched woman get to you. I can't believe how rude she was. Just keep at it the way you are doing, gradually losing weight, and the weight will drop off your stomach in good time :) Don't think you can reduce weight in specific areas, but I may be wrong. If you do more abs workouts your stomach will look better once the weight has dropped off I imagine
  • 257_Lag
    257_Lag Posts: 1,249 Member
    When's the bbbbbbaby due?

    Uh, at the zoo, the Panda. I heard it's gonna have a baby. Yeah, that's what I meant.
  • salydra
    salydra Posts: 29
    That was super rude, but the bread and pasta thing is legit. Wheat can make people store belly/visceral fat and give you that "pregnant" look. If you someone who likes to read and/or have a good foundation of knowledge when it comes to your dietary decisions, you may want to check out the book Wheat Belly.
  • Lillyeatslilies
    Lillyeatslilies Posts: 91
    :0 I've been asked "are you having your first child?" And I'm like "eh, no I'm not having kids at all" awkward.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Classmates used to ask me that when I was 12 years old. I would say no I'm not. Then they'd be like, "Yeah, no one would want you anyway." I would go home and cryyyyy. People don't think before they speak most of the time so keep that in mind. Some just like to belittle others, either way they are not worth paying attention to. If only I had recognized that back then.
  • WarriorReady
    WarriorReady Posts: 571 Member
    This is a great place to help you on your fresh start. :smile: If you are able I would start doing some strength training, even if you start just with body weight squats, lunges, push ups, etc. The more lean muscle you build the more the fat reduces. Sorry, people can be cruel and too opinionated. But use it to fuel your fire and be fierce! You can do this!! :drinker:

    Also, I would start with one or two changes at a time. If you hit it too hard you may fizzle out. Look at it as a lifestyle change. Best of luck!
  • ks4e
    ks4e Posts: 374 Member
    People are just rude and should keep their mouths shut. But if you realize that you do need to get in shape, for your own reasons and not because someone has a big mouth, then you're int he right place!

    Your body sounds a lot like mine. I've always held more weight in my midsection, even when I was skinny. After 2 kids, it's gotten a lot worse.

    First off, realize that you cannot spot reduce in one specific area. You have to exercise your whole body to get in shape, and your tummy area might be the last to go. That's how my body is. I also have to really pay attention to my diet (less junk, less sodium, less processed carbs) while exercising. A few years ago, I had to lose almost 20 lbs before people stopped wondering if I was pregnant.

    What's your plan of attack???
  • heathmarie143
    heathmarie143 Posts: 38 Member
    People are so rude. It actually amazes me how many people assume women are pregnant. When I was carrying my son, sooo many people asked me about it early on when I was barely showing and I kept thinking "what if I wasn't pregnant?" I wouldn't even think to ask someone if I wasn't sure.

    Let your fury fuel your motivation. That woman was a *****, but don't let her get you down. Let that be a push in the right direction! I'm still trying to lose my baby belly, so I'm kind of in the same boat... hopefully a lot of core exercises will be what we need. Like the others said, it will take time but you WILL see results if you stick with it!
  • smtwny716
    smtwny716 Posts: 2 Member
    Most times people would be well served to keep their mouths shut. I struggled with the issue you describe. What worked for me was the Dukan plan. Low carbohydrate, moderate fat, high protein. I lost 100 pounds in just over a year - the last 20 pounds after joining MFP and adding power 90 and P90X to my fitness plan. I eventually lost that belly - it just takes time and perseverance.
  • Lochlyn_D
    Lochlyn_D Posts: 492 Member
    Hi there,

    I just suscribed like 3 days ago to this site. Saturday, I was working, and someone told me "wow, are you pregnant?" I was like.. "no, I'm just fat", and then she said "oh you really need to lose weight! stop bread and pastas!" I was motivated before, but this comment just pissed me off. My highest percentage of body fat is over my belly, which makes me look pregnant because I got small legs/arms... Do I have to exercise my abs more? What can I do to lose this fat? I'm walking/slow running everyday, but is it enough? I'm a little pissed, but I will continue for sure... I'm searching for moral support too, feel free to add me as a friend :).

    Sonya

    Been there!

    It's not just about exercise. You need to log your food and stay within a good calorie range.

    Don't trust the online calculators to tell you what that is. MFP is very generous with their numbers. I got my BMR from here and it was quite high so I went to my doctor and dietician and together they calculated it to be 800 calories less than MFP said it was, which was why I was still gaining weight after joining. Also, the amount of calories you burn (TDEE) in a day will change everyday so keep that in mind when you are eating you daily calories. Some days my TDEE is over 3000, some days it is under 1200. I adjust the amount of calories I eat based on how active I am in the day.

    Good luck. Add me as a friend if you like.
  • geniamoody
    geniamoody Posts: 8
    The same thing happened to me a year or two after my son was born—I still looked pregnant. I had a candy bar in my hand and promptly put it back. Looking back, I'm happy this man, a stranger, said something because it was a wake-up call to lose the weight. I was fat, and I needed an objective person to tell me that. Use the rude comment as the fire in your engine to get fit. MFP is a great tool to help you reach your goals.
  • deadbeatsummer
    deadbeatsummer Posts: 537 Member
    That's really rude of that women.

    You can't lose fat on a specific area (spot reduce) - all you can do is lose fat all over your body (calorie deficit, and cardio), start eating the right things to reduce the bloating over your stomach (salt, fizzy drinks, bread, pasta) and you can gain muscle (lifitng weights, ab excersises) which won't show until youve reduced the fat that's sitting on top but will make your body look better.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    some people do carry more over their bellies - my friend does, partly the legacy of IVF treatment (but mostly, in her case, too many pies and sausages :noway: ).

    As others have said you can't spot reduce, but you CAN work harder on problem areas so the muscle shows through the fat quicker - for example I've always had big legs but last night my sister said "your legs get thinner every time I see you". (I'm still by no meas skinny, perhaps she just thinks of me as "fat legs":grumble: ). fat-burning exercise combined with some targeted toning should help - I love Zumba, but if you find a class you enjoy (or that you can get a Wii progamme for :wink: ) it helps exercise become enjoyable so you do more - a virtuous circle.
  • shhsonya
    shhsonya Posts: 7
    People are just rude and should keep their mouths shut. But if you realize that you do need to get in shape, for your own reasons and not because someone has a big mouth, then you're int he right place!

    Your body sounds a lot like mine. I've always held more weight in my midsection, even when I was skinny. After 2 kids, it's gotten a lot worse.

    First off, realize that you cannot spot reduce in one specific area. You have to exercise your whole body to get in shape, and your tummy area might be the last to go. That's how my body is. I also have to really pay attention to my diet (less junk, less sodium, less processed carbs) while exercising. A few years ago, I had to lose almost 20 lbs before people stopped wondering if I was pregnant.

    What's your plan of attack???

    I reduced a lot of bread/dairy products (which I totally love unfortunatly) but I'm taking greek yogurt and soya milk now, and trying to eat 1200 cal/day. :). I'm doing 30-40 mins of walking everyday (at least trying to) and I'm going to start weight training next week. I'm changing my habits slowly because I tried so many times before and drastic changes didn't work... I'm projecting to do the insanity workout in july, if everything goes well until then. I read everywhere on this forum that only time and motivation can make the real change. That's what I'm trying now, hope it will work!!
  • shhsonya
    shhsonya Posts: 7
    The same thing happened to me a year or two after my son was born—I still looked pregnant. I had a candy bar in my hand and promptly put it back. Looking back, I'm happy this man, a stranger, said something because it was a wake-up call to lose the weight. I was fat, and I needed an objective person to tell me that. Use the rude comment as the fire in your engine to get fit. MFP is a great tool to help you reach your goals.
    I know, since she said that, I just feel that I have to prove that she's wrong and that I'm not this person. But it's a long term work, and patience is not my first quality... but really, this website and all of you people help me A LOT! :)
  • shhsonya
    shhsonya Posts: 7
    People are so rude. It actually amazes me how many people assume women are pregnant. When I was carrying my son, sooo many people asked me about it early on when I was barely showing and I kept thinking "what if I wasn't pregnant?" I wouldn't even think to ask someone if I wasn't sure.

    Let your fury fuel your motivation. That woman was a *****, but don't let her get you down. Let that be a push in the right direction! I'm still trying to lose my baby belly, so I'm kind of in the same boat... hopefully a lot of core exercises will be what we need. Like the others said, it will take time but you WILL see results if you stick with it!

    Thank you, it's motivating to see that I'm not the only one with this problem... I did't understand her comment and why she said that, but I'm not letting this bring me down, I'm really going to lose weight this time! :) Thank you for your support!
  • shhsonya
    shhsonya Posts: 7
    I used to get that question all the time. What made it sting even more is that I had gone through a etopic pregnancy and an early miscarriage not even a year before. So I felt like not only am I fat but Im a failure.. Its actually why I joined MFP. Anyhow, I have to say that after I lost the first 20 lbs and now Im doing ab exercises Im really starting to notice that preggo belly look go away. Unfortunantly its gonna take time but I promise one day your gonna look and notice hey its going down. I also have lowered my sodium intake and quit diet sodas in hopes that would help as well.

    Congrats for your wieghtloss, really, you inspire me !! I will no longer put salt in my meals and try to stop pepsi/coke, thank you for the advice!
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
    I've learned to NEVER ask a woman if she's expecting even if it's obvious. Like you, I carry a majority of my weight in my middle. I've noticed a big difference in the past week in a half. I've been keeping my carbs around 100 a day. No pasta and no bread. I do have oatmeal for breakfast now and again though. It helps a lot. Good luck to you. :)
  • rachellosesitall85
    rachellosesitall85 Posts: 497 Member
    I've been asked this twice in my life. Once at school which I didn't care because I knew I wasn't even sexually active at the time and I wouldn't be caught dead with a baby in high school. The 2nd time was actually quite recently. My husband is military and we went shopping and he ran into one of his coworkers. The military has a very strict policy on fitness and the joke is, Army has the fat wives an the Marines all have the fit/skinny ones. I purposely hid behind a rack of games so he wouldn't see my face (or my fat lol) as I wasn't wearing any makeup and hid under a winter peacoat.

    On the car drive home my husband told me that his coworker asked if I was pregnant. In his defense, he told the guy that I just had really large boobs LOL. (wow, really?) It really hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't expect it. However, I used it as fuel to motivate me to get in shape. Why assume the role of a pregnant lady by having so much weight on my belly if I'm really not? The next time that guy sees me I'll be fit and fine as hell! There will be no hiding then :)
  • heytherelameman
    heytherelameman Posts: 76 Member
    I've been asked this twice in my life. Once at school which I didn't care because I knew I wasn't even sexually active at the time and I wouldn't be caught dead with a baby in high school. The 2nd time was actually quite recently. My husband is military and we went shopping and he ran into one of his coworkers. The military has a very strict policy on fitness and the joke is, Army has the fat wives an the Marines all have the fit/skinny ones. I purposely hid behind a rack of games so he wouldn't see my face (or my fat lol) as I wasn't wearing any makeup and hid under a winter peacoat.

    On the car drive home my husband told me that his coworker asked if I was pregnant. In his defense, he told the guy that I just had really large boobs LOL. (wow, really?) It really hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't expect it. However, I used it as fuel to motivate me to get in shape. Why assume the role of a pregnant lady by having so much weight on my belly if I'm really not? The next time that guy sees me I'll be fit and fine as hell! There will be no hiding then :)

    Love your outlook on this! :)

    Also, your husband's comment was cute. Sounds like something mine would say. He was probably just trying to defuse the situation after the coworker's baaaad mistake.
  • shhsonya
    shhsonya Posts: 7
    I've been asked this twice in my life. Once at school which I didn't care because I knew I wasn't even sexually active at the time and I wouldn't be caught dead with a baby in high school. The 2nd time was actually quite recently. My husband is military and we went shopping and he ran into one of his coworkers. The military has a very strict policy on fitness and the joke is, Army has the fat wives an the Marines all have the fit/skinny ones. I purposely hid behind a rack of games so he wouldn't see my face (or my fat lol) as I wasn't wearing any makeup and hid under a winter peacoat.

    On the car drive home my husband told me that his coworker asked if I was pregnant. In his defense, he told the guy that I just had really large boobs LOL. (wow, really?) It really hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't expect it. However, I used it as fuel to motivate me to get in shape. Why assume the role of a pregnant lady by having so much weight on my belly if I'm really not? The next time that guy sees me I'll be fit and fine as hell! There will be no hiding then :)

    OMG. My boyfriend could not say that as I have pretty little boobs lol. But I totally know what you mean! I use it to motivate myself too and I'm thinking that when she'll see me next time, she will notice the difference ! Thank you for sharing, feeling less lonely :).
  • blondageh
    blondageh Posts: 923 Member
    What a snatch! I had the sort of opposite problem. I was pregnant and no one noticed because I was so fat. They just thought I was really really fat. I was so heartbroken.
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    I had that asked many times, although their reaction was usually one of embarrassment, not being rude.

    To lose belly fat, you need to eat at a deficit. Working abs won't work as you can't spot-reduce.

    Just start logging your food.

    I did not do one stitch of exercise at the beginning. I lost 20lbs (averaging 2lbs per week) then I started to educate myself on exercise and eating to fuel my body.. Once I added in exercise (a woman's fitness/TKD class), my weight loss slowed but my inch loss sky-rocketed.

    Have faith, and give it time, you'll lose the belly fat!! (although I'm not there yet, my belly has gone down, a LOT!!)
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    Wow. I thought people learned early on, "Never ask a women if she is pregnant unless you already know the answer!"
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    When's the bbbbbbaby due?

    Uh, at the zoo, the Panda. I heard it's gonna have a baby. Yeah, that's what I meant.

    :laugh: Brian Regan is hilarous. Every time someone talks about pregancy that is what jumps into my head
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    You can still eat bread and pasta while losing weight.

    That person was a moron. Never ever ask a woman if she is pregnant and if for some reason you do and they say no.. apologize and move on. Don't lecture them! That's ridiculous. If i was her and asked (which would never happen) i'd apologize and be like "Oh i thought i heard someone mention you were. They must have been referring to someone else. K bye" and scamper out with my tail between my legs.

    Just log your food, eat at a calorie deficit and the pounds will come off. Won't be instant but you didn't gain weight instantly either.

    Best of luck
  • katluvzpurple
    katluvzpurple Posts: 1
    My grandmother said that to me once... or twice.. (she's a witch!) and it's just ridiculous. For one thing, our overweight tummies sit differently than a pregnant person's .. so those people are idiots anyway! I just wanted to reply and say "keep at it, and stay strong, because every good choice you make is getting you closer to your healthy self!"

    Happy walking/running everyone! :)
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i've always worked in retail so i've heard this comment quite a few times. "are you pregnant?"
    half the time i wanna shout at them, but can't because i'm at work.

    the couple months ago at work, my coworker was talking to a customer and my coworker asked him "which girl helped you?" and i heard him say "the fat one over there" and he pointed at me. then we made eye contact and he was like "uh... oh... i think it was you"

    seriously, what is wrong with people? this guy probably didn't realize he sent a girl home after work crying.

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