Still Have Anger Towards Ex

Nottafattie

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Your anger will never change him, but it will change you in a negative way. Is this guy worth being in your head all of the time?

9TMare

Raynne413 wrote: »

I decided after an extended period of hating my ex that I wasn't hurting anyone but myself by holding onto my anger. He didn't know I was angry, nor did he care. So I just got over it. I'm a happier person for it.

This + 1,000,000. Best advice yet! Oh and about the money, I agree with everyone who said you probably won't get it back.

will2lose72

You need to heal...new mindset, time, maybe a new relationship or even just friendship, realizing the important lessons you have learned, focus on YOU - definitely not him. He will get his for sure, you don't need to wait around for it to happen or even know that it does.
Just a suggestion to let go...go to your favorite river or lake, take a marker with you, gather up some small rocks from around the riverbed, write words on the rocks - like money, fear, rejection, played, - whatever negative words you are feeling over this lost relationship and then throw them in the water. It is an outward symbolic gesture and I can't really explain it but you should feel pretty amazing afterward. Take a little walk afterward and consider repeating the exercise but using positive, forward thinking words that you want to put in your heart and life now.

Feel better!

wolfsbayne

SconnieCat wrote: »

And you can either send him glitter (http://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/), hope that karma comes back and bestowes upon him a festering case of anal warts, or make the conscious decision to move forward.

I don't know why, but I'm SO amused by this

bennettinfinity

Chieflrg wrote: »

Take it as a learning experience. Never lend money, only give money and never expect it back. Whatever he did, I promise you its only 1% of what my ex did, move on and enjoy the best days of your life without the ex being part of one of them. Let go and grow...

^^ So much this! All of it! ^^

liekewheeless

Find a release for your frustration and then move on.

Any further attempts to get him to do anything will only result in making you feel worse.

The best revenge is to make it so he no longer matters to you. Don't let him have any more influence on you.

Do things that make you happy. Treat yourself. Tackle new challenges. Become the best you can be.

parsonsk64

Anger and bitterness will only hurt you. And self-pity leads to nowhere. Let him go, and while you may regret your past with him, be glad you are now free to focus on the future before you. Agree with prior posters on the glitter bomb though. A final, parting glittery shot!

JeriAnne84

The best thing is to move on. Holding onto anger only hurts you. I was angry at my ex for cheating on me with several women and having a baby with one of them for so long. He didn't care that I was mad at him, as he thought he did nothing wrong. I cut off all ties with him and have let all the anger and resentment go. When I did that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Karma will bite him in the butt someday. Just trust that he will get his and you get on with your life.

That glitter bomb is amazing.

michellemybelll

first, i'm another vote in for the glitter bomb; second, i used to live near Gulfport, FL (little hippie town near St. Pete yeah?) and i love that town! Forget your loser ex (after said glitter bomb) and wander down to Salty's or O'maddy's and meet some new super cool people.

jessupbrady

Chieflrg wrote: »

Take it as a learning experience. Never lend money, only give money and never expect it back. Whatever he did, I promise you its only 1% of what my ex did, move on and enjoy the best days of your life without the ex being part of one of them. Let go and grow...

Yep 100% this....

We all have stories from ex's and many of them would make you glad your problems aren't as bad. I have a daughter with my passive-aggressive ex and the drama that ensues would make a talk show host giddy till their dying day.

I have to remind myself regularly it ain't worth it and there is a reason she is out of my life and I have a choice with each drama scenario dreamed up (such as calling CPS on me for exercising too much when our daughter was present in my home) I can either take the bull by the horns and wrestle with it or move my red cape to the side and let it sail past me.

rayneface

You're giving him all of your power. You are angry at him and still investing your time and precious energy into someone who is not bettering you.

Cut all ties, wash your hands of this experience and start spending energy on yourself and making you happier. You deserve it!

jazzy550

JeriAnne84 wrote: »

If you are going to do something to his car, only do enough damage where the deductible won't be hit on his insurance.

LOL! Thanks for the 411.

jazzy550

Cindy4FunFit wrote: »

There is so much love in this thread. You people are cool. (Not sarcasm)

Yes, I agree; it was a big help for me. Really, it might sound silly but it helped.

Lisa1971

Can you key his car???? Do you have access to his home or work while he's not there? I have an idea if you're interested!

dakotababy

jazzy550 wrote: »

Welcome to life? Like being treated badly is normal? Like bad behavior is expected? Shouldn't we have higher standards? Aren't we worth more? I guess that's why I dwell as people are so crass and dismissive.

If you can not change it, why waste your time dwelling on it? Yes, people in this world are *kitten* and there is nothing you can do to change that. Accept what happened, learn from it and move on.

brewingPHX

jgnatca

Glitter bombs are still legal. Do it while you can.

Do you have documentation for some of the money he owes you? Could you trick him to creating a paper trail by claiming he owes more than he does (so he'll e-mail you back to correct him)? With a paper trail you can take the legal route. Trying to guilt him to pay you back won't work. He's already proven he's immune to obligation. If you have no paper trail, you will....have...to....let....it....go.

Consider it an expensive life lesson, equivalent to a PhD. That's the "welcome to life" part. You cannot make people behave well. There are boobs like this guy out there, both male and female. Don't get taken again.

That all being said, you will be happier moving on and finding better people to hang with.

KazzBeDoinIt

It will all come out in the end. I "fell" in love with a jerk. He cost me precious time with my Grandmother. He was so mentally abusive. We had four girls. I won't say together because while I was in the hospital giving birth- he was in my bed with someone else. I even heard the "don't wake me when you have her. I am tired and want to sleep in" excuse. I had a beautiful home & he ended up getting us kicked out. Did he help me and the girls find another place? Nope. He said that once I find one let him know and he would be back- he moved to Oregon with his parents. He had done many many many things over the years. Okay, I was dumb. At one point he was taking care of a neighbors plant while they were away. I didn't know it was "pot" and my door got kicked in and my house destroyed. He bought a car- made me walk the girls close to 6 miles to and from school every day in the rain, shine & snow. It was all the "little" things but back to when I was kicked out. I told him if he walks out the door will be shut & never opened again. He left. Yes! Here we are ... me and my 4 girls ages 7, 6, 4 and 2. On our own and no car or friends. So, we stayed it out as long as we could where we were: ending up having a sale to make money to at least get into a motel. We sold everything! Couches, tables, clothes, food even the pictures on our walls. HE showed up because he forgot to take his speakers when he left. I was talking to someone who was buying two lamps & he said he was leaving and bye. Bye! Only later did I find he sold the 4 grand we had made. Ugh! Stupid me! A few years after when my now husband paid for my divorce from him, he sent me a letter saying how much he loved me and my girls. By this point the girls were all in their teens but those years leading up to them were hell. "You threw my dad out." "I want my dad." "You ruined my life." "I hate you!" I never replied. One day he showed up at my home in a brand new sports car with personalized plates. Saying how he hired private detectives to track his daughters down but every time he would find them- we would move. I was at work when he showed up. I tried to explain to the girls it was a lie because for 40 plus years their Grandmother, Aunt, Nana & our family friend have always lived in the same houses. Again, I was lying and ruining their relationship. Fast forward to many more years of the "I hate you's" My two oldest took off one day to meet Up with him at the mall. Me not knowing. Well, how did that work? The oldest came home crying & telling me she loved me and how wrong she had always been. The other one? She came home- cops were called. She packed her stuff and moved in with him. After a week she returned home crying and saying how she hated him and never wanted to see him again. 3 of my daughters have children now. 3 of the babies are mixed. He wrote an email & called my child trash and said her kids were filthy & it made him sick to never contact him again. The other daughter he informed he was a tramp & he was not her dad and never would be & the 3 one? He doesn't even know about my Beautiful Princess. I know this is long but I wanted you to know: There is always something, someway and some how it will go back on him. Remember when I said he showed up at my house in his new car? My GREATEST revenge was right at that moment! (I was at work) My husband was home making dinner when the idiot knocked on the door. My daughter answered it. She turned around to my husband and yelled "Dad! Someone is here to see you!" To this day- even though for whatever reason he has been in prison, he has rolled his new jeep over and was in a coma for three days- doesn't compare to that one moment when my daughter did this. So, when people ask me if I hate him? Nope! I feel sorry for him! I have four beautiful daughters with 7 wonderful grandkids & a husband I have been with for 18 years ... Him? He has nothing! On his 5th wife and a loveless life. Touche' & Karma, I love you!

kbmnurse

Listen, stop looking back and move forward. He has brought you enough misery. Be gone!

michellemybelll

holy wall of text.

jazzy550

Wow, Kazzbe! You got me beat... I hope you don't ever take him back! One poster said I was lucky as I did not have any children with him and they are right! Thank god for that!