Why are some people so unsupportive?
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Whilst I do understand people's concerns, I still carry fat especially around my stomach. My intentions are no longer to reduce my weight but to reduce my body fat percentage. And my mother told me that when she got married she weighed 105lbs, and she was only one year older than I am now.
Yes, yes it is.BTW, is your real name Anna? Just curious.
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the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate?0
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Your BMI is 19.6, and from your photo you have a naturally slim frame. I suspect that your family is just adjusting to your new size as there is nothing about either you appearance of weight which is alarming from a health perspective.
You certainly don't need to lose more weight so it's good that you are focusing on going into maintenance with the aim of working on body fat rather than scale weight. All sounds very sensible to me. I'm sure that your family will come around to the new you with time to adjust.
I'm petite with a BMI of 18.7 so I know how hard it is to keep your weight up when you are training (in my case lifting) hard. There is less margin for error, so my suggestion is to make sure you overdo rather than undo your maintenance calories to start off with.0 -
I think people get used to an image of who they think you are and how you're supposed to look. As I continue with my journey, I've heard comments like, "Don't go losing too much now." (I started at 100lbs overweight are they kidding?) "When are you going to stop?" (at the 50lb lost point, to now "What are you doing anyway? I could lose a few pounds?" So I think it may border between wanting you to be careful to having to adjust to that fact that you're doing something about your weight and they may wish they were doing something about theirs.0
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I feel your pain. Since beginning my body transformation, I've never received so much feedback on my body in my life and its all negative...except from my hubby.
When I was obese no one said a word, no one offered me home made goodies just for me. No one told my I was fat lol.
My mother tells me to stop working out and eat more, I just look at her and ask, Why didnt you tell me to stop eating so much and so poorly? Why do you tell me about my weight and say nothing to my 4 sisters who are morbidly OBESE. That shuts her up, REAL quick.
Here is the thing, You have to celebrate your self. They weren't in the gym sweating with you. I hear those negative words ring in my ears, all the commentary I get on my body nothing positive at all. I just have to return to celebrating myself. I know where I was and where I am now. I am proud of myself. There is NOTHIN anyone can say to make me feel differently about my accomplishements.
edited to add, I'm 5'7 and 143 lbs size 4. You are on the low end of the spectrum. I can understand a bit of concern your friends and family may have.
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BMI is complete BS haha. I'd take what your family and friends are saying into consideration. Sometimes you might feel that they're criticizing when really they are just concerned. There may be some underlying tension besides your weight loss maybe? Doesn't seem like it just has to do with them being 'unsupportive'. Talk to them about it.0
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sarahlifts wrote: »I feel your pain. Since beginning my body transformation, I've never received so much feedback on my body in my life and its all negative...except from my hubby.
When I was obese no one said a word, no one offered me home made goodies just for me. No one told my I was fat lol.
My mother tells me to stop working out and eat more, I just look at her and ask, Why didnt you tell me to stop eating so much and so poorly? Why do you tell me about my weight and say nothing to my 4 sisters who are morbidly OBESE. That shuts her up, REAL quick.
Here is the thing, You have to celebrate your self. They weren't in the gym sweating with you. I hear those negative words ring in my ears, all the commentary I get on my body nothing positive at all. I just have to return to celebrating myself. I know where I was and where I am now. I am proud of myself. There is NOTHIN anyone can say to make me feel differently about my accomplishements.
Well said! Congrats on your loss and your new healthy habits.
In the end, we have to do it for ourselves!0 -
I would heed their comments and maybe look further into it. Same thing happened to me when I got down to 135lbs at 5'10" which was within my BMI. I thought I was doing great and kept waving people off with their comments. Then I saw a photo of myself and realized they were right, I was way too thin. I think those of us who've struggled with weight just can't see ourselves in the same light as those around us. Your family is telling you this out of concern not jealousy.0
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I remember talking to a vet one time about a dog of mine because I thought the dog looked a little thin. The vet said that the reason we think the dog was thin was cause we are so used to seeing dogs that are too heavy..... Not saying this is the same thing for you. Your family has a mental image of you when you were heavier so a normal healthy weight might just look very thin from what they perceive is normal (for you). From looking at your picture which could be deceiving, I wouldn't loose more weight but I think you look incredibly healthy. Maybe doing some strength training to increase muscle mass if you wanted a goal to work on. In the mean time you did a friggen awesome job and you should be proud of the hard work you put into it.0
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Whilst I do understand people's concerns, I still carry fat especially around my stomach. My intentions are no longer to reduce my weight but to reduce my body fat percentage. And my mother told me that when she got married she weighed 105lbs, and she was only one year older than I am now.
Yes, yes it is.BTW, is your real name Anna? Just curious.
This is an awesome idea. Changing your body composition will allow you to put on a little mass and you can still end up at 118 but with a lot less fat=a flatter midsection. You're on the right path!0 -
You can be underweight and still have fat...fat is part of the human body composition. I'm not saying you are underweight for sure, but it might not be a bad idea to check with your Dr next time you are in about your current weight. Did you have an actual BMI check or are you just going by the weight range listed as healthy for your height? Personally, I'm 5'6" and I know 118 is technically the lowest weight of the healthy range for my height but I know it would not be a healthy weight for me. I have a larger bone structure and I'm certain I would start to hear I was too skinny at 130...and they would be right. I hate when people say "they are just jealous"...I really don't think your mom is jealous...she probably has a real concern and if I were you I'd at least consider that she might be right. I've always found nothing but support at a healthy weight, so if I had comments like you've had I would look into it personally.0
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Just tell everyone that your weight isnt a conversation topic. Period.
Always works for me.
^^^ AGREE!! I will go with the, "Oh you've lost weight, you look great" part, but beyond that, I change the subject. My family always did the opposite to me, calling me fat names and inspecting every bite that went into my mouth. Every night, my mom asked, "What did you eat today?" One day I told her it was none of her business and she didn't speak to me for three days.
Hell with them, I say. If you feel good and think you look good, that's what matters. People are always going to feel the need to pipe in with unsolicited advice. Drives me nuts in real life and makes me crazy on Facebook. That's why I'm not talking about my weight loss on FB. Some of my friends and family know, but most don't. When my brother gave me advice about eating and exercise (he's obsessed with exercise), I smacked him down, saying, "You were no help calling me 'bushel *kitten*' when I was a teenager, don't try to help me now."0 -
sarahlifts wrote: »I feel your pain. Since beginning my body transformation, I've never received so much feedback on my body in my life and its all negative...except from my hubby.
When I was obese no one said a word, no one offered me home made goodies just for me. No one told my I was fat lol.
My mother tells me to stop working out and eat more, I just look at her and ask, Why didnt you tell me to stop eating so much and so poorly? Why do you tell me about my weight and say nothing to my 4 sisters who are morbidly OBESE. That shuts her up, REAL quick.
Here is the thing, You have to celebrate your self. They weren't in the gym sweating with you. I hear those negative words ring in my ears, all the commentary I get on my body nothing positive at all. I just have to return to celebrating myself. I know where I was and where I am now. I am proud of myself. There is NOTHIN anyone can say to make me feel differently about my accomplishements.
edited to add, I'm 5'7 and 143 lbs size 4. You are on the low end of the spectrum. I can understand a bit of concern your friends and family may have.
Sing it sister.
Great job! If you are happy and feel good, don't worry about the haters!
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I did see photos you posted in another thread, and I have to say you do look too thin. I'm not judging you or trying to hurt your feelings, I'm giving you honest feedback, from an outsider. You've made incredible progress, but I think you may have lost a little too much. You might talk to your mom about her concerns and how you're feeling.
Best of luck to you.0 -
Well, by your photo, you look healthy to me. Working on body composition would be a natural progression, if that is what YOU want.
I, personally, would look very bad at 118, and it's the lowest for 5'6" tall. At the height of my EDs (yes, multiple), I weighed 122 lbs. I still thought I was fat. After treatment that was successful, I saw a photograph with different eyes and was just as mortified by how I looked (skeletal) it as I have been seeing photos of myself at my heaviest (205 lbs). None of the 122 lb pics exist anymore because I vowed to never return there to the unhealthy habits I had formed.
A long story that was to get to my point. Different bodies look very different at the same scale weight, and even the same bodyfat %. If you like the way you look, and your doctor says you are healthy, then do what makes you feel your best and stay healthy.
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sarahlifts wrote: »Whilst I do understand people's concerns, I still carry fat especially around my stomach. My intentions are no longer to reduce my weight but to reduce my body fat percentage. And my mother told me that when she got married she weighed 105lbs, and she was only one year older than I am now.
Yes, yes it is.BTW, is your real name Anna? Just curious.
This is an awesome idea. Changing your body composition will allow you to put on a little mass and you can still end up at 118 but with a lot less fat=a flatter midsection. You're on the right path!
Hot! Hot! Hot!
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That's definitely the low end of the BMI for someone your height. Maybe some strength exercises to build muscle and increase your weight would make you appear healthier? Congrats on the weight loss though! 0
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idk how you act in reality, so im just throwing it out there...
are you annoying about it? i ask because i have interacted with some people who make some change in their life and all of a sudden it's ALL about that. i may even be guilty of it at times. is it possible that people are tired of you going on about it?
if you don't do that, then disregard my reply.
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I remember talking to a vet one time about a dog of mine because I thought the dog looked a little thin. The vet said that the reason we think the dog was thin was cause we are so used to seeing dogs that are too heavy..... Not saying this is the same thing for you. Your family has a mental image of you when you were heavier so a normal healthy weight might just look very thin from what they perceive is normal (for you). From looking at your picture which could be deceiving, I wouldn't loose more weight but I think you look incredibly healthy. Maybe doing some strength training to increase muscle mass if you wanted a goal to work on. In the mean time you did a friggen awesome job and you should be proud of the hard work you put into it.
This is what I was going to say. People have gotten so used to obesity that slightly overweight looks skinny and skinny looks to thin.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who should add a little to their frame to be healthy.
I think the body recomp you were talking about is a great idea, a little lean muscle may give you a less frail appearance (not that you look frail).
Do talk to your doctor if at all possible. It never hurts to get a professional unbiased opinion, if anything it may make your mom less worried.0 -
That's definitely the low end of the BMI for someone your height. Maybe some strength exercises to build muscle and increase your weight would make you appear healthier? Congrats on the weight loss though!
She should do strength exercises only if she wants to not so that she can "increase her weight to appear healthier".
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