So my dad died suddenly 3 days ago....

katkins73

I'm so, so sorry. Sending a big hug xx

Lounmoun

Very sorry for your loss.
My mom died suddenly a couple of years ago. It was hard to keep the same routine but also helpful to do normal things like cook, do laundry, exercise.
Put the food in the freezer or eat some and throw the rest away.
Walk or listen to music or something when you are feeling bad instead of eating.

stargazgal

Thank you all for your kind words. It's amazing the places you find support and peace. Bless you all and thanks!

SwankyTomato

At this moment in time, just take care of yourself. Do what you feel up to doing and try not to stress out about weight loss.

Sending you hugs and so sorry for the loss of your dad.

charmmeth

Thinking of you stargazegal: I lost my father last summer and a dear and close friend just three weeks ago, and the world has been very out of kilter for me. I would agree with what others have said about not feeling pressured to eat by the fact that people are giving you food. However, I would also say it IS important to eat. My mood is much darker when I am hungry, and I know I could easily drop into a cycle of depression if I do not eat sensibly. And getting out for a walk, or to the countryside, or to the sea, or wherever you find inspiring can also be a good thing to do (and it might help that cold). Grieving takes a long, long time. Do be kind to yourself!

mom2ava07

Sorry for your loss.

I also say that right now just grieve, and then get back on track once you have had some time.

kbmnurse

First, I am sorry for your loss. I would not be too hard on yourself at this sad time. If possible be conscious of your portions. Now is the time for comfort. So sorry.

mamaomefo

I am terribly sorry you lost your Dad! Bless you, and just try to focus on the good. Know he would want you to carry on and be healthy yourself. I understand too. I lost mine in 2000. It will get a little better with time, but it takes a very lot of time. Bless you! ❤️

KazzBeDoinIt

The lady who I knew as my Mom, my Grandmother raised me. I lost her 14 years ago. She was back then and still is to this day my strength. In all I am and all I do. Remember him with smiles. My Grandmother once said something to me & I carry that in my heart. I am sorry you are hurting. Continue to love him as you know he loves you. The sun will shine tomorrow unless you are lucky enough to have snow but you know what I mean. HUGE HUG! (I am here if you need to talk)

mistigoodwin

Sorry for your loss. Take the time you need!!!! MFP will still be here when you are ready again. Don't worry about counting calories, working out or any of it, unless you want too!!! If it makes you feel better to log, and keep on track then do it. Put yourself and your feelings first, and only do what you feel like for now. Maybe a morning/afternoon/evening walk here and there. It's some sort of activity and might just help a little to get out and get fresh air, (clear your head). Good Luck to you, and again, sorry for your loss.

zyxst

Liftng4Lis wrote: »

So sorry for your loss. Forget counting calories, let yourself grieve.

+1

killerqueen21

I am so sorry.

If you need to do something, getting back on track is fine. It could possibly give you something else to focus on, and something you can control. But please, please, please, do not allow it to get in the way of your grieving. You have to grieve. It will come back tenfold if you don't do it now.

Again, I am just so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through.

tinacrane

A sudden death of a family member can be devastating, I know. My son died tragically 2 years ago and then his fiance committed suicide the next day.

My world stopped...I couldn't breathe....I felt a loss of control...I cried and I prayed and just existed in a fog of unbelief. Slowly, it became just living one day at a time. Logging on mfp helped me feel as though I was gaining some control back, that I had some semblance of real life, a hope for normalcy.

The pain lessened as the days passed. But my life, like yours will be, was forever changed. Now I REALLY live each day with all that I have, with all my passion-as though these could be my last days on this earth.

My prayers are with you for the peace of God that comforts those in sorrow and strengthens those in need.

Please feel free to message me-to reach out. Grief shared is so much more bearable.

retropactum

I lost my boyfriend suddenly a little over a year ago (he was only 29). The one thing that grief support taught me was to be forgiving, especially with yourself. Personally, I threw my diet, for lack of better words, out the window and did end up ballooning back to my highest weight. I don't say that to scare you, but everyone handles grief differently. On your good days, make good choices and on your bad, forgive yourself. The best thing I think I did was I didn't stop working out (I dance every Tuesday) and I believe the chemical response of exercise really saved me from falling into a deep, deep depression.

Do what you can for now. The extreme side effects of grief will slowly pass, I promise.

This goes without saying, I am very sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk to about "dieting" through grief, I'm here for support.

RedheadQuine

I'm so sorry to hear that. I found my Mum dead when I went to check on her in December, so I know how hard it is. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. I found most people don't understand what it's like to lose a parent suddenly (as opposed to when you know they are ill, can say goodbyes, etc). I ate whatever people brought me. I just needed to eat *something*. So I ate a lot of junk. It's been almost 2 months since I found her now and I'm back to the gym and back to eating healthy. Give yourself time. Don't worry about these things until you feel ready. I had so many logistics to deal with (sorting out her funeral, her house which was rented, closing all accounts, etc) that I just didn't have time to even think about food or gym for a long while. We lived off freezer junk. Just do what you need to do to get through this time.

BigFatLou82

So sorry for your loss x

MissDeeDee78

If I could fly to where ever you are and give you a hug, I would. I sorta know how you feel, we were given 3 days to spend with my dad before he died. Those were the hardest days of my life. I agree with Sadiecara, eat when you're hungry and if you're not then just try a bite or two and keep up with the liquids. This is not the time to beat yourself up, you just lost a parent. Take time to grieve and when you're ready continue on this weight loss journey.

Rockmaker

Sorry for your loss @stargazgal. I suddenly lost my Dad 7 months ago, it was very tragic. You'll be okay though, he definitely wants that.

Francl27

I'm so sorry If you're not hungry, just have a bit of the food and freeze the rest. But don't worry about it now.

laylasmommy67

I'm in the same boat. I lost mine suddenly less than a month ago. I gained 6lbs, so I went back to square one, it sucks, but that's how it went with me. Still not thinking clearly yet, but a little better. I know my Daddy would hate for me to just sit around a mourn all the time, so trying to get back on the path for him.

obscuremusicreference

stargazgal wrote: »

On Sunday, I received the shock of my life that my dad suddenly died....so now, after 21 days on track, measuring, staying within calorie range, working out..starting to get results....I'm off the rails and don't know what to do...
I'm not hungry but when ppl bring me food...I'm forced to eat and it's been high carb foods...not too healthy and I feel like I'm undoing all the past month...I haven't been to gym because on top of this grief I'm super sick with head cold , likely because I haven't stopped crying...not sleeping and not eating properly....I know I shouldn't be concerned with this right now...but... I fear I'll be back to square 1 or I won't get back on track.

I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. Your grief is raw and you should not feel guilt if soothing yourself involves high-carb goodies.

However--if you feel out of control, if people are pushing food on you, please don't feel forced to eat it. Tell the well-meaning people you've already eaten.

The good news is, exercise (when you're able to get back to it) makes you feel better emotionally. It might be a tiny dent in your grief, but it's better than nothing.

You probably won't end up back at square one--but if you do, it's not the end of the world.

Hugs to you.

mzjenn2u

I am sorry for your loss....my grandfather passed away mid Jan and it threw me way off as well. All I can say is try your hardest to stay decent with your eating....it's tough but right now grieve. I did make it back to the gym about 4 days after he passed away and to be honest wish I would have dried my tears and just gone sooner it was def a way to get my mind off things and have some me time. Keep your head up...it gets better!

DawnieB1977

I'm so sorry for your loss

Don't worry about logging if you don't feel up to it...MFP will still be here when you're ready.

As others have said, you may feel better if you do continue logging as it's something you can be on control of.

I've not lost a parent, but my mum was diagnosed with acute leukaemia in March 2012 and we weren't sure she'd make it. I wasn't using MFP then, but I was losing weight after my 2nd baby who was then 10 months old, and I continued going to the gym and counting calories as it made me feel better. She was in remission then relapsed in 2013 and went through treatment again, and I still continued logging and exercising. I've found that when I'm sad I can't eat, I totally lose my appetite. I also figured if anything did happen, I'd be sad anyway, so I may as well be thin and sad not fat and sad.

mandahon3

I am so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve for your loss, and you will be able to get back on track when you are ready. I have seen some comments about things getting back to normal. Things will never go back to the normal you had, because your dad is gone. I can tell you this from experience, and you will find a new normal after all of this. Just stay positive and things will work out.

Carlos_421

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Don't worry about weight loss right now. Just get through this time. When life starts to settle into the new normal then you can refocus on getting back on track. For now, pray, grieve and spend time with family.