Seriously don't know what to do anymore

thatgirl125

I feel your pain I am a single mom to a 2 1/2 year old going through a divorce and working fulltime. Everyday is a constant battle to stay active and actually work out.
When I get home from picking up my son from daycare and obviously working all day, I just want to sit on the couch. I do not even want to move because I work in a pharmacy, I am literally on my feet ALL day.
And after 5 minutes of sitting I immediately start making dinner for me and my son (to which everyone knows with just you and a little one it can be a battle just to make dinner lol).
But when I think about it, my son is my BIGGEST motivator. Because I do not want to go well before it is my time, I want to be able to spend as much possible time on this earth with him as I can.
That being said at 8 pm I put him down for bed and get my work out clothes on. (I work out at home because I do not have the time nor babysitters to make it out to the gym). The hardest part for me, is actually getting my workout clothes on.
You just have to tell yourself DO IT. Even if you have been up since 5:30 in the morning with your child and at work from 9-5pm on your feet all day, just to get home at 6 and immediately start cooking dinner then playing afterwards and doing bathtime and what not before your childs bedtime.
Just remember, your child needs you to be as healthy as you can be and to set an example for him/her that hopefully they will use when they are older.
Believe me, it is definitely hard, but YOU can do it!
I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant with my son, after I had him it took months for me to even realize I was as big as I was. But I have managed to lose all of my pregnancy weight, and more.
Also, one thing that I suggest, on the weekends you should take your little one to some trails and walk them. Even if they are not at the walking stage you could always get one of those chest straps (I honestly, cannot remember what they are called), and they will enjoy the scenery just like you, and on top of it, it can definitely be a work out.
I like to take my son, he walks very well and will run around on the trails so we both get a good work out and nap in after it.

I wish you luck, it is definitely hard, but once you start doing it you will not want to stop, esp once you start seeing results

lavieboheme1229

I think everyone else is spot on about the hormones flying around your body like crazy. And they are also right with the start small. You have loads of good advice here. Good luck!

sabified

After posting my OP I spent some time looking around on this site and trying to figure out a real plan that will work me and I feel better than I did before. I think one of my biggest issues is I focus so much on the long term that its sooooo intimidating and I feel like I will NEVER get there. I am going to try and set some smaller goals that I can accomplish so that maybe I will get motivated by those achievments and keep going.

I read a quote recently that may help with this- "Forever is comprised of many different nows".

can't remember who it was by (or if that's exactly it) but it seemed fitting for this.

Do go to a doc to check it it is a hormonal imbalance or something related to the pregnancy (adorable baby, btw ) though good luck finding the daily motivation as well feel free to add me if you'd like

teana36

Everyone is different!,, I could not loose weight on my own! I have friends, family and coworkers helping me. I walk with my support group, even when I feel lazy I will go because I usually do not have a good excuse not to walk. I have a Jillian Micheals video that I try to work out to at least once a week. I loose one to two pounds a week. If I do not loose any in a week then I make a mental note and drink more water. Stay away from any drinks that has bubbles in it. It helps. Good luck and do not give up. If I can do it, then I know you can!!

JLANGSTA

I have twin toddlers, so I here you on being busy and wanting to lose weight. I was sinking - I tried WW, MFP, JC. I finally found a program that works for me, and I am SO happy. I am down 35 pounds in 11 weeks, I'd love to share info with you if you are interested. jensmyfriend@gmail.com or let's just connect: https://www.facebook.com/jensmyfriend

Don't give up, you CAN do this. I am here for you, we all are. :-)

Laneybug081012

WOW! I cannot believe all of the amazing advice and support I have received from everyone...I truly was expecting my post to just get lost along the way but there are seriously some great people here. Your responses, advice and words of encouragement have really made me feel so much better. I think it also helps to know that other people have gone through this too, I think sometimes I forget that even though I always try and tell myself to stay positive because things could always be worse or harder than they are right now. You ladies with twins are AMAZING I dont know how you do it but you ROCK! Thank you everyone for all of your words of encouragement, I was worried I would receive some negative comments but everyone has been so helpful and really motivating and I truly appreciate that! Def the kick in the *kitten* I needed...I'm seriously going to save the comments somehow so I can go back and read them whenever I'm having one of my bad days. Thank you all again!

Rose_bee

PND (UK) I believe is Post-natal depression

It's known as PPD (Post-Partum Depression) in the US.

One day at a time, I don't even have kids and I find the logging & making good choices to be VERY challenging some days. The only way I stopped myself from going out yesterday afternoon for ice cream was to tell myself that tomorrow (ie today) was going to be warmer, and I'd want it more then. Today I'm hoping I won't have such cravings. ::crosses fingers::

acstansell

I've felt all these same feelings this entire year. All of these ideas are great, but the motivation has to come from within. You have to figure out what's holding you back and reassess your goals.

That's what I'm in the process of doing now...

smcturbo

I agree - ditch the therapist and get a trainer. Doing new behaviors will get you motivated. You could sit there and ask "why" for months, when the "why" is not that hard to understand. Having a baby is hard on your body, you're tired, everything is about the little one, and it's so much easier when you're tired to just sit. But....if you get a trainer, and just follow through with what the trainer says - the mind will follow. Your mind will wake up. You will remember who you are and who you want to be. Change your behavior and that will change how you feel about yourself, how you think about yourself - it's a much quicker road to transformation.

meeper123

You cant talk down to yourself. Think of it this way would you allow someone else talk to you like that? You can do this but it will take effort it will not be easy and you will fall down. The diffrence between success and failure is if you decide to stay down. Take the word cant iut of your vocab. Its easier to add healthier habits in thanto take bad ones out. Start small change what you eat for breakfast for example. Then move to snacks then lunch and dinner. Then add small walks before you know it you will be a whole new person.

No one can do this but you and you certainly can.

micwrites

it is overwhelming to try to grasp it all at once. I hear you. I have been there, not even wanting to go to fun social events because I was worried about people I know would think about how I looked. the thing is, our weight didn't come on all at once, and it won't come off all at once. but I think it's the little victories that will get you back on track.

start small. grab your baby, put her in a stroller and walk around the block. getting air will do you good. notice how beautiful it is this spring! any movement you can do will help your mood. drink water!! lots of it. and remember that you have a whole community here who have been in the same boat and are here to help. you can do it!!

kimjmay

Buy yourself a really good jogging stroller and get out of the house!! The weather is getting nice out and you can keep your little one close. My girls loved it when I took them for a walk.
I had a hard time losing the baby weight (i'm still trying 8 years later) but what helped was getting out of the house....even for 15 min at a time. We were lucky enough to have a park 3 blocks away, so we would walk there and play for a few minutes and walk back. It feels good to move around and get fresh air.
At this time of year you could even have a seasonal disorder from lack of sunshine....I know i get the blues every winter.
Good luck and take it one day at a time!!!
You can do it!

cgmilleson

I came on today looking for motivation, but I saw your post and wanted to reach out.

My best advice is to speak with a dietitian. After learning what I should have learned in high school, I can begin applying it to how I eat. It's saved me tons of wondering if I was following the right 'plan'. And truthfully, I don't have the cash to spend on a 'plan'.

Don't beat yourself up. Be patient. As a working mother of three, you'll find your rhythm. Smile a bit. And join in!

wannabpiper

I felt the same way you did. Everyone is different, but for me it was a mild case of depression. You have to find a way to take care of you - and it's so hard to do with little ones around. I love this site because I can check in as many times a day as I want to in order to stay motivated.

I see there are some awesome ideas presented in this thread and I hope something works for you. Best of luck!

amyx593

Be okay with slow change. Take your daughter for more walks. Use her as motivation. YOU CAN DO THIS. Imagine how proud you were the first time around.... you need to want that more than anything! I know you do, now PROVE IT! You've got this.

aNewYear123

It can be really hard to get started, I am glad you are getting help.

Maybe find a class or a friend so that you are accountable to someone. Classes are what force me to exercise - I paid money and am expected to show up at a certain time on a certain day. That way I can't choose to stay in my chair in front of the TV after work. Once you get started it might get easier to continue.

NavyKnightAh13

First off, don't talk negatively about yourself (it's a lesson I'm still learning to this very day :grumble: ).

I have a 16 month old, and with going back to college in August, its going to be more difficult, and also once my job at the newspaper starts back up again, it just adds to it. But I suffer from mild post partum depression, along with situational depression with anxiety. I went to therapy, and they said "just give it time."

I started running when I was 6 weeks post partum, and ran my 7th 5k this past Saturday and placed 3rd in my age division (20-24 year old female) and honestly never thought that would happen. When I became a mom, I thought I would never be able to balance this, but somehow, once I started running, it became a lot more clear. I see that little boy of mine and let him be the motivation I need. I want for him to have a mommy when he is 20 (my mom died when I was 20, my mother in law passed when he was 21). Now I dance (I'm actually minoring in Dance, which is surprising that I can still do it at 24, majoring in Journalism), I run, and added Insanity into my work out regiment (before anyone says anything, I was weight lifting but was starting to lose interest and felt that it would be overkill to do weight lifting and Insanity at the same time).

It starts with simple changes and small steps. You can't conquer it all in a day, and reassess from time to time and go from there. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also if anyone tells you that you can't do this (and trust me that little demon in your head will tell you that), tell them to stick it :bigsmile:

st0dad

I'll be 100% honest, I wasn't able to do ANYTHING until I got a friend to start helping me. I didn't have motivation to eat right (I love the act of eating and tasting more than I like the act of being full, so sometimes I would eat past full just because I wanted more of that taste I was craving) nor did I really want to go to the gym by myself (Planet Fitness claims to be judgement free, but it's still intimidating seeing the thin people there even when they're not judging you). Eventually I found a friend who also wanted to get fit and eat right. Now together we go to the gym 3 times a week, we exchange healthy recipes and I've already lost more weight in 2 weeks than I had in several months!

My reccommendation to you would be maybe go a site that promotes friend finding (like OKcupid, it's not just about dating there from what I've seen) and find someone to go with you to the gym. It's like having a sponsor! When you have someone there motivating you and making this whole experience fun and rewarding in the short term as well as the long term.

Until then, I'm gonna request you and hopefull we can help each other. ^^

kerrieward77

It's great that you are seeing a therapist. I hope that you start feeling better soon. I am currently fighting the same urge to lay on the couch instead of getting up and moving. I do find that getting my kids involved helps to motivate me. I push the baby around the park in the stroller, or bribe my teenagers to walk with me. You can do this. Just set small achievable goals. Feel free to add me. I can use all the support I can get, and would be happy to share my support with you. Good luck.

4word

I'm glad you're seeing a counselor! Surely they have spoken with you about Post-PartumDepression. Do not take it lightly... it can become very serious if not treated properly. (Speaking from experience).

Take baby steps... just like your daughter. I recommend making healthy changes at home but focusing more on getting the post-partum depression in line before you tackle a great deal of weight loss. I'm not saying forget about... just prioritize the mental health!
Wishing you the best of luck!!!