Wedding tips anyone?

shadowlydarkness

Hey guys, So my partner and I had a serious discussion this morning and while he hasn't officially prosed yet cause he is saving for ring, we have already set a date. I have got just under 2 years to get in shape, and taking into account my back injury I will need all the time and help I can get!

If you have any tips I would appreciate the advice, (I have also started a group here to help other brides to be get ready for their big day. I have got a link on my profile so please feel free to join and share your wisdom)

mockchoc

I'm about to have my 29th wedding anniversary and my biggest tip is be forgiving. You have to be or it won't last long. Love and forgiveness is the key. Oh and as much sex as possible.

BlueArbitraryCat

Hi there. I would suggest writing down what you want as part of your day and what you don't want to be part of your day. Make a note of which things are essential to you and what you are happy to compromise on. This could include phrases in the ceremony, locations, guests, traditions, etc.

Ask your partner (now or when you start the detailed planning) what his views are.

This document can then be used as a sanity guide rather than a blueprint. If your parents really want you to include something and it was in your maybe list - consider including it. If someone tells you that so-and-so MUST be a bridesmaid, you can let them know gently that it is not in your plan.

mockchoc

I would also add the wedding day is not what you should care about, it's the rest of your life that only matters. It is just like a party to celebrate and if you want to save money and not have all the stress then don't feel bad about eloping. Yes I had a very fancy wedding, nope wouldn't care if I didn't know I look back. It was fun but the money could be used on more important things than the dress etc... depends what you both really want. Don't be bossed by mothers or MIL's. It is YOUR day.

shadowlydarkness

Thanks for the tips guys :-)

He has made it clear he doesnt want tge ceremony with his family cause they will cause to much drama but we compromised and will still have party/reception. We got time to sort the

shadowlydarkness

Just for those who want to join the group:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/103762-brides-to-be

it would be awesome to see some of you there as you have some great advice

Amanda4change

Next month is my 16 year wedding anniversary. We did ours on the "cheap", mainly because we were moving states the following month and well I'm cheap. Got married by a judge I knew at the courthouse and had a small party at our house (including the party, and the honeymoon we spent a grand total of $1,700). My advice talk the important stuff out before you get married, for example religion, housework, how many kids, how you want to raise them, and how your going to handle finances. Figure out what your willing to compromise on and what's a hard line in the sand (so to speak). For example my husband is catholic, I don't agree with organized religion and will not force my kids to attend or join a church (that's something I'm not willing to compromise on). We agreed to that before we got married so when my mother in law pushed for baptism of my kids, it didn't create problems between him and I. The second big piece of advice know when to walk away from an argument to calm down before you say something you can't take back. You can disagree without screaming or throwing insults at each other.

berlynnwall

I'm eloping this April. I got so stressed trying to plan everything, that I just gave up and planned an elopement instead. I would go right now, but I'm waiting for my kids' spring break so they can come with and not miss school.

Absolutely agree with talking out the big stuff before you get married. You don't want a bad surprise several years in when you realize that you have polar opposite views on a big decision.

spzjlb

I'm still at it after over 21 yrs of marriage. My tips:

- Your wedding day is one DAY. Your marriage is far far far more important. Put your heart and effort on the right one.
- Never take your spouse for granted, no matter how fabulous your relationship. Keep working at it. I used to think that a weekly "date night" was silly. I was wrong - it's a time to ensure intimacy when life gets nuts. I wish we'd had that date night habit.
- The pillars that you need to protect: passion - intimacy - engagement

Congratulations!!!

missiontofitness

Congrats, first and foremost!
What I would do is recommend reading the stickies, buy a food scale, and invest in some cute workout clothes. Follow what MFP tells you to eat per day, eat back some of your exercise calories, and follow this tier during your journey for setting pounds lost per week:

If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lb/week is ideal
If you have 15-25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lb/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lb/week is ideal

When you get closer to the big date, switch over to maintenance after all of your alterations have been made to your dress, so you can ensure a perfect fit the day of.

Once again, congrats!

shadowlydarkness

Thanks for all the advice guys, really appreciate it

Neither of us are religious and though marriage wasn't a big thing for him, his big thing was owning a house, we both had this thing we were not willing to give up on and se we have made a plan that will allow both to come true. We have been together for almost 4 years and we have seen each other through good and bad times, have talked about almost every big decision, the once thing I cant make up my mind on is if I want kids. He says he doesn't want any, but I feel like that's more because of his parents then because of him. I don't know if I want any but definitely not until we own our own house and have a stable income to be able to raise and support a child. Adoption has always spoken to me. We are still to young to worry about such things I think but it is good to know at least how we feel about them now.

tomatoey

I'm not married, but I have had a few relationships. My tips are: always treat each other with respect. Never sink to low blows, ever. There's no turning back once someone goes there, and it chips away at love. Never go to bed angry.

katherine_startrek_fan

It sounds like you two still have a lot to figure out, especially in terms of kids. It may not seem like a big deal now, but if you decide you do want them (which it sounds like you are leaning toward) and he really doesn't, it could end the marriage down the road.

I'd recommend you take it in stride until he actually proposes, and then go to a marriage counselor just to review all of the key potential deal breakers before getting married. It only takes one session if no issues are identified and helps you know that you are on the right path.

honeybee_kisses

Congratulations! I'm getting married next Year so that's my big motivation for sticking to this new way of life. I'm determined to wear whatever dress I like without worrying weather or not it's hiding flabby bits! Heading over to join your group now

shadowlydarkness

Thanks guys, some great advice again.

Never considered marriage counselling to prevent problems instead of dealing with them after they happened..... interesting idea for sure.

cheshirecatastrophe

shadowlydarkness wrote: »

Thanks guys, some great advice again.

Never considered marriage counselling to prevent problems instead of dealing with them after they happened..... interesting idea for sure.

Yes, yes, definitely do premarital counseling! You can find some great lists online of "questions to ask before you get married", and work through them with a counselor, pastor, or other unbiased third party. Lots of stuff about kids, eldercare, money, how to balance two careers/moving for one partner's career/trailing spouse syndrome, etc.

It's always good to keep in mind that people can and do change their minds about important things, but never assume it will happen.

MaggieLoo79

Here's my advice - lose as much weight as you can BEFORE the wedding planning begins. Wedding planning is stressful, but also, it revolves around food. You'll go out to lunch with friends when you shop for the dress (however many times), bridal showers, engagement parties, food tasting, cake tasting, bachelorette parties, etc. The closer you get to the wedding, the harder it will be to stay on a healthy eating plan. Plus, your mentality will switch to a "treat yourself" mode. Congratulations on the wedding!

shadowlydarkness

Thanks luckily it's not until November next year so I got 20 months to lose between 15 - 20 kg's. But your right so much of the planning revolves around yummy food!