Wedding tips anyone?

Hi there. I would suggest writing down what you want as part of your day and what you don't want to be part of your day. Make a note of which things are essential to you and what you are happy to compromise on. This could include phrases in the ceremony, locations, guests, traditions, etc.

Ask your partner (now or when you start the detailed planning) what his views are.

This document can then be used as a sanity guide rather than a blueprint. If your parents really want you to include something and it was in your maybe list - consider including it. If someone tells you that so-and-so MUST be a bridesmaid, you can let them know gently that it is not in your plan.

Next month is my 16 year wedding anniversary. We did ours on the "cheap", mainly because we were moving states the following month and well I'm cheap. Got married by a judge I knew at the courthouse and had a small party at our house (including the party, and the honeymoon we spent a grand total of $1,700). My advice talk the important stuff out before you get married, for example religion, housework, how many kids, how you want to raise them, and how your going to handle finances. Figure out what your willing to compromise on and what's a hard line in the sand (so to speak). For example my husband is catholic, I don't agree with organized religion and will not force my kids to attend or join a church (that's something I'm not willing to compromise on). We agreed to that before we got married so when my mother in law pushed for baptism of my kids, it didn't create problems between him and I. The second big piece of advice know when to walk away from an argument to calm down before you say something you can't take back. You can disagree without screaming or throwing insults at each other.

I'm still at it after over 21 yrs of marriage. My tips:

- Your wedding day is one DAY. Your marriage is far far far more important. Put your heart and effort on the right one.
- Never take your spouse for granted, no matter how fabulous your relationship. Keep working at it. I used to think that a weekly "date night" was silly. I was wrong - it's a time to ensure intimacy when life gets nuts. I wish we'd had that date night habit.
- The pillars that you need to protect: passion - intimacy - engagement

Congratulations!!!

It sounds like you two still have a lot to figure out, especially in terms of kids. It may not seem like a big deal now, but if you decide you do want them (which it sounds like you are leaning toward) and he really doesn't, it could end the marriage down the road.

I'd recommend you take it in stride until he actually proposes, and then go to a marriage counselor just to review all of the key potential deal breakers before getting married. It only takes one session if no issues are identified and helps you know that you are on the right path.

Here's my advice - lose as much weight as you can BEFORE the wedding planning begins. Wedding planning is stressful, but also, it revolves around food. You'll go out to lunch with friends when you shop for the dress (however many times), bridal showers, engagement parties, food tasting, cake tasting, bachelorette parties, etc. The closer you get to the wedding, the harder it will be to stay on a healthy eating plan. Plus, your mentality will switch to a "treat yourself" mode. Congratulations on the wedding!