The Emotional Side of Losing Weight

tericx

I am fairly new to MFP and I am still finding my feet.

How do you all deal with the emotional side of losing weight? I am feeling rather overwhelmed with 100lbs + to lose. I am trying to break it down to smaller targets but I still sub consciously know my total.

Ta xx

Mandi98U

I just try and focus on the little things like getting more fit so if I run further today it just means I'm getting healthier try not to focus on the weight just the positive side effects

Linovitz

Just take it one day at a time. It might take a few weeks to see initial results and then it might be slow or stuck at times. Just stick with it. Get a good trainer for at least 30 mins a week if you can afford it. Once you start seeing results you will want to continue. Friend me for motivation

Biscuitz89

Hiya I'm new to MFP as well. I have needed to lose between 60-80 pounds in the last five years without much success. It sometimes feels too much as I kept failing EVERY DAY at eating good. I was a stalker of MFP but here I am! I am taking each day as it comes as well. Weighing weekly with one day I can cut myself slack and eat whatever I want. If you want a friend in the same boat feel free to add

eldamiano

You make it unemotional and get tough with yourself for not eating right.....

auddii

I set smaller goals: losing 10% of my body weight, getting to 200lbs (closely followed by getting out of the obese BMI range). It's much easier when you don't hold out for a goal that's a really long way away and can celebrate the smaller wins. And getting into smaller sizes is nice too, but it took me a while to start dropping sizes.

ETA: Wait, is the OP banned?

tericx

Not sure why I was banned but I am back now. Thank you for your responses so far

gothchiq

One day at a time, dude.

kgeyser

misst3687 wrote: »

Not sure why I was banned but I am back now. Thank you for your responses so far

Sorry about that, it was a glitch in the system but we fixed it.

PeachyCarol

I had 90 to lose when I first started, and couldn't think about it. I still can't think about it in one big chunk. I think about it in 5 pound increments.

5 pounds at a time? I can handle that. That gives me a goal that's reachable. I also go day to day with meeting my goal of eating within my deficit, weighing and measuring my food, and logging.

So far, for closing in on 4 months, it's worked.

lemurcat12

Breaking it down really does work. You will feel so good just getting to those smaller targets. I've lost 95 so far (100 or 105 is my ultimate goal), and just losing the first 10 and then 30 made a huge difference and then the next 10 and so on, however you like to think about it. Also, starting to feel like it works and you can do it will be motivational, and setting and achieving non-weight-related goals, like for me activity things and later doing races and so on.

I am a goal-setting person, but I found it hugely helpful to map out a bunch of goals starting long term (one year) and then 6 months, 3 months, 1 month, this week, and planning in more or less detail depending. I included weight loss goals because I found it inspiring to think that if I keep this up I could be 30 lbs down by X, but would do that only if you won't be bothered by missing the goal if it happens (I'm not, while finding it motivating). The bigger things were achievement and process goals. For 6 months run X many miles or do a race or be working out 5 days/week or some such. And then for the very short term pick a specific thing to work on, like "this week I will meet my calories every day and cook 90% of my meals" or "go to the gym 3 times" or whatever." My focus changed as I got something down and started working on something else.

segacs

By focusing on the process, not the results. I brush my teeth every day and I don't necessarily see "rewards" for it -- the biggest reward is the absense of a negative (a clean dental check-up) but I brush my teeth because it's just habit. There's no end goal.

Bellodesiderare

I mapped out goals for every 10 lbs lost and rewarded myself every time I hit a goal. I wanted so badly to get down to a certain weight, but I didn't believe that I'd actually get there. I surpassed that "goal" by 8 lbs. I believe a key to that was not thinking that I needed to lose 70 lbs to be in a healthy weight range for my height. That felt too overwhelming and made me want to quit before I even got started.

Get yourself a strong support system and never, ever give up. Every single day is not going to be good. Some days you will weigh a little more. Take pictures and measure yourself regularly. NSVs (Non-scale victories) will become something that makes you extremely happy. Good Luck

captivatedlife

I break it down into 5-10 pound increments. That may work for you. Weighing daily motivates me - it pulls a lot of people down so you have to figure out what works for you. Can you pull someone into your weight loss journey with you? Start a blog? Take before and after pics? Enjoy each day - watch the sunrise, enjoy dancing in your living room, meditate, whatever works for you. Peace and support your way!

MLLeFever

By concentrating on what can be done now. I had 100 lbs to lose, I lost 50 over 4 years, and the last 35 have been thanks to MFP over the last few months. I'm 15 lb from my original goal, but now my goal is shifted and I nowwant to lose about 30 more pounds. Instead of concentrating on my big goal, which cannot be obtained in a month, I concentrate on what can be done.

I can lose 4-5 pounds in a month, I can lose 1-1.5 pound a week. I Set my goal for the week and I work as hard as possible to check it off my list. If I don't meet my goal, I review what I did over the last week and see if I can locate the problem. I don't add the weight I didn't lose to the following week... Each week it's 1-1.5 lb... For now.

For me, it makes it less overwhelming. I can handle a week. I can't handle fixating on the end goal. I thought my end goal would be 215 lbs, but it turns out it wasn't. my body didn't react like it did when I lost the weight the first time in my early 20s. So instead of worrying about it, I'm just focusing on the end result of each week. I failed to reach my goal last week, but it was my 10 year anniversary and decided to have a lavish dinner, champagne, and some cake. This week is a new week and the goal remains to be 1-1.5 lbs.

orlandodenise

I had 170 to lose - I never even thought 50 was possible ! I just focused on small goals -fitting into a dress, going out with mates and it just melted off as I increased my exercise from zero to walking 3 miles a day and now I do 6 days a week at the gym. Im on the last 61 pounds now. Im 5 7 and carry most on my legs so from waist up and dressing well I look virtually slim - but its definitely an emotional journey to realise Im not the fat girl ignored in the corner.

Good luck on your journey x

Leobaby

I also used the 5 lbs mini goals. They helped me to stay focused in reachable goals instead of trying to beat this whole XX lbs monster. It can be overwhelming.

Also, focus in the non scale victories. When your everyday clothes start to fit more comfortably, or when you can fit into that piece of clothing (even if barely) that you absolutely couldn't a few weeks ago, realize those ARE victories too. I had my closet half full of stuff I couldn't fit or would look not flattering on me, now I can proudly say I had beaten each and everyone of those little suckers and everything (MY GOD, EVERYTHING!!!) on my closet fits great (3 years and 53lbs after ).

As for rewards, I personally don't like the idea of rewarding yourself with food. Instead, when I reached a mini goal (scale or non scale) I would go to work in a skirt or blouse I hadn't wear in a while because it wouldn't fit, get my self all prettied up and indulge in the nice comments from friends and coworkers. Ego can be your dear friend if you now how to use it in your favor...

You can do it, just make baby steps at first and get more "aggressive" as you feel like it. Have a great weight loss journey

PeachyCarol

I agree with not making your reward food! New nail polish, a new pair of shoes, a walk on a new route, sleeping in 10 extra minutes... something like that. Honestly, losing weight is its own reward.

Nothing could have made me as happy as slipping into my smallest pair of jeans (which I had well outgrown) straight out of the dryer. When they get too loose on me, I will finally buy some new ones. That's my next "big" goal. Not the other 65 pounds I have to lose. I also have another goal of increasing the incline on the treadmill.

There are ALL sorts of little victories along the way to keep your focus and set your mind to. Savor them.

katherine_startrek_fan

Mini goals (every ten pounds) & rewards help a lot.

Exercise helps a ton as well! In the first few months, I could see and feel physical changes practically daily due to my workouts.

I started almost ten months ago with 82-100 pounds to lose (82 to fall several pounds under the obese lines and 100 to just above a 'normal' BMI for my height). I am currently down 56, so definitely over the half way line!

It's not easy to see how far you have left to go, but the longer you remain dedicated, the more progress you have to look back on and less to regret not doing sooner.

LAWoman72

I started out at nearly 100 lbs. to lose. Now down to about 70 to lose to be at my ideal. DON'T think about "how much" you have to lose. DO celebrate every pound. Every. Single. Pound. That pound is one pound less that you now have to lose! When you're down to, say, five pounds lost, think about this: you'd have killed or died to have been five pounds lighter a month ago! Now you ARE! And just keep going with it.

SergeantSausage

One. Pound. At. A. Time.

Carry on ...

Adc7225

There are so many different ways to look at it. I started with a goal of 100 pounds from 244 to 144 at 5'2" - I made to about 96 pounds down. Along the way you will discover things that you can't even imagine and some of the ones you are imagining may never materialize But I think everyone on here would agree it is totally worth it.

There were times when I counted what I had lost 10, 11, 12 seeing those number going up was at times easier than still seeing the 2?? on the scale. I kept track of all my workouts - time, resistance, distance, etc. as time went on I could look back and remember being able to only do 15 min of something at resistance 2 and I could gauge my progress. For a lack of a better of way of putting this - get in touch with your body, there are times when the scale is not cooperating, during these times you may notice changes in your body that at least let you know something is going on that your work has not really stalled and this is part of the process. I also took part in several challenges, a 30 day challenge gives you a time to focus on something without it being too much of a commitment - my proudest one was the no candy for so many days before Halloween, I actually made it Self proclaimed lover of sweets I am!

Don't focus so much on that 100 lbs. think about being healthy and fit and what you see in the mirror, because you may see something you really like before losing that 100 lbs

Best wishes!

natalie72065

I started wanting to lose 100 pounds and in a year lost 20. Actually I lost 30 and gained 10 back. I get so frustrated. I don't know what to do to lose the weight.

Nottafattie

It's a perspective thing. As soon as I realized that I would have to change my habits for LIFE, not just until I reach a certain number on the scale, the numbers and the time seemed of little consequence. I focused on other numbers instead, my daily macros and micros. Making sure I hit all of those in whatever target zone every day so I could change the numbers the doctors were giving me. Reaching a certain number of minutes of intentional exercise everyday.

I still have the number I want to reach in the back of my mind, but I focus on today and on making the most of the moment that I'm in. Can I make a better choice this moment? Can I work myself a little harder in this moment?

Focus on putting one foot in front of the other, both literally and figuratively, and you will reach your destination.

tericx

Thank you for your advice a lot to consider but I will get there x

janegalt37

Try reading this thread:
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10052379/unexpected-results-of-weight-loss/p1

It's quite emotional at times, but in a hilarious and positive way. I check in on it every day. Even the little things can really keep you going, and this thread gives you a lot to look forward to that you might not have thought about in a while. Sometimes when the scale doesn't move, you need a different perspective.

liekewheeless

I "only" had about 50lb to lose. Never thought I could do it (all of it) until I was 30lb down.

I mentally celebrate every 5lb.
5lb Is manageable. They only take a month or two (things slow down at the bottom of the battle). And 5lbs add up. 5, 10, 15,...

No matter how far away your goal may seem now, every pound gets you closer! You can do it!

jennifer_417

Don't let yourself focus on the big picture. This takes discipline, but then it takes discipline to los weight. Focus on the week-to-week progress. You lost a lb this week? Great! Or the day-to-day day. You wanted 14 slices of pizza for dinner but only ate 2? AWESOME. The point is: make small goals, meet them, and the big picture will take care of itself.

crosbylee

I am still at the beginning of my losses. I have at least 70 to start with and will just concentrate on the little things that add up to one big loss later. It is not so much the number on the scale but the physical changes I look forward to seeing. I want to see myself healthier and thinner. For me, Patience will be the biggest factor. Just keeping consistent and not expecting to see large losses.

sodakat

Once you lose a few pounds it gives you incentive to keep on, especially when you realize that the method of losing weight is not at all complicated and the same method works throughout the entire weight loss time period.

I'm one of the people who post my ticker on threads I respond to. This is kind of a big deal to me because back when I was getting started, and having a ticker displayed was an option for everyone (it could always be displayed -- you didn't have to paste it into every post), I used to look at mine and wonder what it would feel like to see "20 pounds lost". I hoped by the time my ticker showed a 20 pound loss I would feel like I understood how to lose weight. At 18 pounds lost I knew I had learned quite a bit and was anxious to see 20 because I felt like it was sort of a badge, kind of like, "okay, I've made it to this level". The next time I felt that way, that I could say I understood this weight loss process even better, was about 38 pounds, waiting for the ticker to read 40.

It's slowed down a lot now because I have to eat at a greater deficit since I've lost quite a bit, but the ticker still inspires me to keep at it and see the numbers-lost increase. Now I know I will continue losing and continue learning as I go along, and each number increase on the ticker is as gratifying as those early big numbers were.

Not sure how helpful all that is. LOL. Maybe I didn't need to share. But oh well, we talk about constipation and underwear on this site so, meh.

ahealthiercara

It is definitely overwhelming to focus on the end goal, especially since I've gone up and down 20 pounds from where I am now more times than I'd like to admit. The thought that I could actually lose 60+ pounds is too much to reach for. I'm celebrating the 10lb marks. Getting under 200 is my mini-goal right now, and I am celebrating the little things along the way. This morning I got into size 18 jeans that haven't fit in a couple of years. Even though I had a bad day this week and my scale may not show me love tomorrow when I do my official weigh in, I know that I am back on track and fitting into these jeans means more than the number on the scale. One day at a time of honestly logging and you can do it!