Do you really think one can be happy FAT?

shannonbun

I'm still fat and I'm happy. What doesn't make me happy is how people react to *my* happiness. When people are constantly equating fat with ugly and making you feel horrid about yourself, it's hard to be happy. But that's not a problem with *you*, it's a problem with society. That's been changing at least in my life thanks to the body positive movement, and I actually have been very happy fat for the last 3 years since I accepted that what people say about me is their problem.

People can be happy fat, disabled, in medically perfect health, in whatever. And they deserve to be. I really think people just need to support one another's happiness, and the world would be so much better. Let people love themselves, fat or skinny or what have you. Let people think their bodies are rockin' no matter what their weight or fat composition is. Everyone deserves to be happy and to be happy with themselves, aesthetically and more.

nesian_twin

I cant answer that cos I've never been morbidly obese and I try not to judge something I've never experienced myself or have no knowledge of but I am overweight and I certainly feel a lot better being slimmer! both physically and especially mentally

nicolemtracy

For me, regardless of what size I was, I was at my happiest when I was helping others and doing good in my community. Happiness isn't something that just happens when you're thin, a lot of thin people are pretty miserable. Happiness is something that comes from within you. You have to decide to become happy and then do the things that take you there.

IrZeo

From my personal point of view, no. The quality of life while "big" is not good, no matter what anyone says.

I used to say that I was happy while fat and that it's possible... but now I've lost over 80 lbs since August '14, I'm starting to see what it's really like to feel happy and that beforehand, I was in pure denial.

Quality of life is too good when you aren't as big. Fact.

Jaywalker_7

IrZeo wrote: »

From my personal point of view, no. The quality of life while "big" is not good, no matter what anyone says.

I used to say that I was happy while fat and that it's possible... but now I've lost over 80 lbs since August '14, I'm starting to see what it's really like to feel happy and that beforehand, I was in pure denial.

Quality of life is too good when you aren't as big. Fact.

Agree 100%. I was in denial, too. I have literally been obese or morbidly obese my ENTIRE life. I was a chubby kid who grew into a fat adult. I thought I was happy cuz I had some friends and did some "normal" teenage activities and such. Looking back, I can ADMIT how much my weight played a role in my happiness, or lack thereof. I would spend a day at an amusement park and not ride the rides telling my friends I didn't want to ride because of my fear of heights. I just couldn't fit. I claimed I didn't like the beach so I stuck to the boardwalk. I was ashamed to be on the beach in a bathing suit. I mean, maybe not major things for some people, but my weight affected everything I did or didn't do. Now, I still felt attractive (even sexy ) at my biggest. I still had friends and experienced plenty of things. But I personally can't say that I was truly happy being that controlled by my physical limitations. I believe some people can be happy while they're fat, sure. But for me it was always a constant limitation that negatively affected my life. I am FINALLY starting to LIVE and I'm pushing 30. Thankful I am making this change with a little bit of youth on my side. Hitting the amusement park for sure this summer!!!

lauracups

I truly believe happiness is a choice. By which it doesn't mean your life is free of strife or illness or obstacles, but rather how you meet those challenges. I wasn't comfortable in my old body, so I changed it, I wasn't an unhappy person though, I socialize, I laughed...I lived. Being thinner in itself doesn't make me happy, being in less pain because I'm thinner does.

palwithme

I was the happiest in my life when my kids were little. I loved my babies and loved being a mom. I also was 200 pounds. Could have cared less. Then, when my kids got older and I had to go back to work I wasn't fat and happy any longer...I was just fat. All these young, thin beautiful girls in the office and I still looked like a frumpy housewife. So, I changed it.

guylenk

I am currently fat and I am currently happy. So, yes.
I'm not losing weight because I'm unhappy.
I'm losing weight because I LOVE my life and want to keep it for as long as possible.

NextPage

Last year I reached by highest weight and still was happy about many aspects of my life. Most of us have a variety of people, activities, memories etc. that bring us joy. Being fat doesn't take away from this. However, at some point, if fat is effecting your health than it is an act of self-love to do something about it, if you are lucky enough to be able to. At 51, blessed with good health to the point that I never had a single day in the hospital or check-up with poor findings, I found myself with chronic aching knees and back. I not only looked bad, I was limiting my mobility and heading in a direction I didn't want to go. I also thought I had been disrespectful to the "health gods". Obviously, I'm not talking about being slightly overweight and wanting to lose a few "vanity" pounds. However, the success stories that are written by parents who talk about being able to actively hang out with their kids in the playground or coach their son's hockey team - these stories point out that losing weight has its "happiness" rewards. If you ask yourself "is there something(s) that I can't do know because of my weight that would bring joy to me and/or my loved ones" and the answer is yes, then you should lose weight. This doesn't mean the things that make you happy as a fat person aren't real, it just means that you may open more opportunities. Life throws us tough stuff at times whether thin or fat so a bounty of "happy" reserves is always good. Of course, can I be happier is a different question than am I happy.

palwithme

NextPage wrote: »

Last year I reached by highest weight and still was happy about many aspects of my life. Most of us have a variety of people, activities, memories etc. that bring us joy. Being fat doesn't take away from this. However, at some point, if fat is effecting your health than it is an act of self-love to do something about it, if you are lucky enough to be able to. At 51, blessed with good health to the point that I never had a single day in the hospital or check-up with poor findings, I found myself with chronic aching knees and back. I not only looked bad, I was limiting my mobility and heading in a direction I didn't want to go. I also thought I had been disrespectful to the "health gods". Obviously, I'm not talking about being slightly overweight and wanting to lose a few "vanity" pounds. However, the success stories that are written by parents who talk about being able to actively hang out with their kids in the playground or coach their son's hockey team - these stories point out that losing weight has its "happiness" rewards. If you ask yourself "is there something(s) that I can't do know because of my weight that would bring joy to me and/or my loved ones" and the answer is yes, then you should lose weight. This doesn't mean the things that make you happy as a fat person aren't real, it just means that you may open more opportunities. Life throws us tough stuff at times whether thin or fat so a bounty of "happy" reserves is always good. Of course, can I be happier is a different question than am I happy.

Smart response.

hippygirl325

Anyone can be happy no matter what their circumstances are so yes, of course they can be. Is it good for them? Should they be promoting it as a healthy norm? Absolutely not. They may not be feeling the effects of being so obese now, but they will in the future. "Fat acceptance" is just another one of those ways people avoid taking responsibility for their negative habits and behavior just like someone who posts on FB that they are "proud" of being an a-hole or a b or being lazy or anything else that people naturally tend to look down on. If they can claim it as part of who they are, then they never have to make any effort to change it.

mrsgoodwine

Yes.

jennifer_417

Possible? Absolutely.
Common? Probably not.

ETA: I don't mean to imply that an obese person will rarely have a happy life. I only meant to say that it's probably rare that a person is genuinely ok or happy with the state of being obese. That's how I I understood the question.

CA_Underdog

Absolutely.

UrnAsh_

I was happy both fat and thin.

CA_Underdog

Yes, absolutely someone can be obese and happy (or thin and unhappy), despite a minority of rude and insecure people in our society. The response to a fat girl dancing is amazing. Of all things, that's exactly what we should be encouraging someone overweight to do!

"Fat Girl Dancing"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbcoh5hre74

"What is Body Shaming"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NG8Th9V4sQ

I don't like being winded.. not being able to use stairs.

I don't feel like tackling all these line-by-line, so I'll point out the obvious--gaining weight is about calories in > calories out. It's entirely possible for someone to pass many fitness tests and be obese. I hiked the Grand Canyon all the way up and down in a day while obese. Whitney Thore is, again, dancing in that video above and she has taught group dance classes!

kindrabbit

Happiness isn't an all or nothing emotion. If absolutely everything in your life is perfect except you are unhappy with your weight then would you still call yourself happy?

I am not happy with my weight, but in general terms, I am happy with my life.

CJisinShape

My experience was that I was MUCH happier at size 18 than at size 4.
Happiness has more to do with having a clean conscience in God (being forgiven and forgiving others), being grateful, enjoying your work and enjoying the fruits of your labor.

I'd like to be thinner, but keep the happiness I learned how to cultivate when I was fat.

kimbelle_vie

melimomTARDIS

I was happy when fat. But I had killer GERD and PCOS and weightloss helped that along, a lot.

I took the lessons I learned about body positivity with me when I lost the weight. Its why I didnt have a goal image in my mind for when I lost the weight, and I am generally happy with my body.

I think when you are fat you should continue to live life, have sex, go swimming, whatever . No reason to wait until a level of thinness is attained to start having a rockin' life.

getitamb

I have happy fat friends, so yes. Was I happy? No but it wasn't the fat as much as internal stuff. You have to love your body for this journey to work.

segacs

Not only can people be happy while fat, but I'd say it's much easier to lose weight when you start off happy than when you start off depressed or miserable.

This time last year I was overweight bordering on obese. I wasn't happy about my weight. But I was happy overall. I had good friends, a job I enjoyed that made me feel fulfilled, a family I love, hobbies and interests and a social life that I loved. I was a happy person overall.

Today, I've lost nearly 30 pounds and I'm at a healthy BMI, though still about 10-15lbs from my goal weight. Whatever. I'm less happy though. Not because of my weight, but because of other things that have happened in my life -- some friends I've lost, some challenges that have come my way. I'm working on these things. I'm a work in progress.

Life is about more than just a number on a scale or a body fat percentage. Happy people come in all shapes and sizes. So do miserable people.

It's self-sabotage to think that "if only I weighed X" or "if only I lost X pounds, I'd be happy." That's never true. Get fit. Get happy. The two don't necessarily have anything to do with one another.

Ticklemynose

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

Being happy and being happy with your body are two entirely different things.

I'm still overweight and I'm perfectly happy. I don't believe in finding happiness in physical, ever evolving things. I find happiness in love, great weather, a good book, good friends. Having blonde hair doesn't make me happy or unhappy. It just is. My weight (no matter what it is) doesn't make me happy or unhappy, it just is.

I guess it depends on how much value you place on your appearance that will determine how much that influences your happiness.

I concur.

999tigger

sjadev1108 wrote: »

I don't mean to equate skinny with happy, or to say that thin people never have bad days. I do, however, think that being obese, you have put more obstacles in your own way.

Just lol you asked a question, didnt get the answers you liked and now changed your point. You really havent taken in what people are telling you. people are different. Being obese might make some people unhappy if thats your point but isnt that stating the obvious? So might having one leg, no money, no friends.

Ticklemynose

I agree that it is a state of mind. It depends on how affected you are by social standards and how your weight impedes your life, perceived or otherwise. At the end of the day, it is about embracing yourself, your current stage of life and the overall journey. Weight is one part of life, there are so many other meaningful things to pursue. Living in Singapore, a typically Asian society where people often equate slim or petite with being beautiful, having a more stereotypical American build in terms of frame, curvy, busty and broad shoulders made me uncomfortable for a long time. Sure, people can judge, whether I get affected or buy into that judgement is up to me. Often these people want to make sweeping statements about me, like as if they own my body. It's rather strange. Somehow no one was worried about my health, more about my body and how I looked. I have come to realise people project onto you all the time. Their personal issues with weight is reflected in their comments.

Vailara

segacs wrote: »

Not only can people be happy while fat, but I'd say it's much easier to lose weight when you start off happy than when you start off depressed or miserable.

I think this is a good point.

I was happy and fat, so yes, you can be both. To be honest, I usually used to lose my appetite (and a little weight) when I was unhappy, so I associated lack of appetite with unhappiness.