Messy Thoughts About Changes As I Lose Weight......

BettJo64

Yes, I'm halfway to my goal according to MFP!! But believe me, I have no concept of how much I want to end up weighing at the end of this journey of loss!! The lowest adult weight I've ever known was 215lbs at age 31. Who will I be as Betty anywhere under that weight? OMG!! I look in the mirror now at 260.9lbs and I'm filled with so many mixed crazy feelings...and I still have more to lose!! The truth is...as I'm losing all this weight from such a high weight to start with, now I'm dealing with different body issues along the way that no one really talks about. When I was bigger, I may have been fluffy and fatter but my face and body was full and glowing....maybe for all the wrong reasons lol but still!! Now I'm seeing such a change in my face when I look in the mirror. I seem more hollow and dark in some respects and it so does not reflect what I'm feeling inside me!!! My fat may not jiggling and bouncing as much as much as it did before, but now I'm dealing with more flapping than ever lol every where! upper arms, thighs, that famous apron area that all us women hate with a venom!!! OMG!!!! And clothes....yes, clothes. What to do, what to do about my clothes. I don't know! I really don't know! I've been going through all my winter clothes as I'm putting them away since the seasons are changing. I'm finding, of course, that I have a huge pile of "way too darn big now" and a teeny pile of "big, but it'll still work for me". I own absolutely nothing, except for my 30 year old wedding dress, that is smaller for me to work for still! Now here's my dilemma...I can't bring myself to first LET GO of any of my clothes, nor to go out and BUY new ones to wear right now. My reasoning is both mental and emotional concerns. I think why spend $$$ when I only hope to be at this stage of weight for a short time. My body is ever changing and I don't want wrap to much $$$ up in clothes until I am at maintenance level. Therefore, I think maybe keep those big clothes and just do the baggy thing for a while longer. I've even gotten out my sewing supplies and taken up quite a few things, but it's getting to a point where the 369lbs clothes just simply cannot be worn on this 260lbs body anymore without dragging the ground or weighing me down UGHHHHH!!! But also another truth is that I am afraid to LET GO of my clothes that I've lived in for so very long. What if...what if, I fail? What if I give away all my huge clothes and I fail myself? I won't have them stashed away in my closet to pull out...ready to put back on to cover up my nearly 400lbs body once again. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid of change...and I say this while I'm changing myself every single day!!! How crazy is that!! Can anyone relate to my messy thoughts?

tandabuss

I can! Change is scary, especially when it concerns your very identity! I'm only starting
this journey, so I don't have good words of wisdom for you--except the standard stuff of taking it one day at a time….

sodakat

Treat yourself to some second hand clothes that fit, Betty. Consignment stores featuring plus sizes have good clothing at great prices . It's fun wearing new clothes that fit your smaller body. You don't have to break the bank to do it. And FWIW you shouldn't worry about not having large clothes if you gain and need them in the future. They will still be making them then. But don't think about failing. Be positive and get those too big clothes out of your closet and out of your life. You have a lot of smaller sizes to work your way through before goal. I started in sizes 22/20 and am in 12s now with 40 pounds left to lose. I just figure I'm sort of renting these interim sizes. Buy used then resell or give away. It's fun shopping for smaller sizes!!

keeponlaughing

I agree with sodakat get rid of your big clothes. You do not need them. They do not fit and do not work for your new smaller body:)
Hit the thrift or consignment stores and get yourself a few new things to get you through to the next stage. You are worth some new clothes. You deserve them:)
Congratulations on your weight loss!

sarahbetherck

Get rid of those too big clothes, reward yourself with some clothes that fit and then start strength training to get rid of the "flapping"

BettJo64

yes, you're all right. I believe I'll make an effort to check out some thrift stores this week and to possibly find a good place to donate my clothes that will maybe make a difference for women of size. That's 20 years of wardrobe in those boxes and I've been a proud well dressed woman all my life no matter my size. So I would like for women of similar size to benefit from these clothes just as I did and that may make it a little easier for me to LET GO