Parents of Young Kids - Do You Tell Them About MFP?

megomerrett

Hi, just curious about how other parents talk with their kids about weightloss/healthy eating/My Fitness Pal.

My boys are aged 3 and 6 and I have an 8 year old step daughter. They're pretty active - 6 year old does 6.5 hours of gymnastics a week and the 8 year old does rugby and dance. We've always eaten pretty healthily as a family but I'm having to look at smaller portions for me.

The 8 year old's mum is often dieting and she always picks up on it. I don't really want them to have a concept of me eating less but of eating better and cleaner. I also try talk about my increased exercise levels as getting stronger and fitter rather than losing weight and changing shape. (even though, really I just want to be slim!)

Do your kids know you're dieting? Do you think it depends on your lifestyle before and after? Does it also impact on your kids' meals and activity levels? I'm not making huge changes and although I have about 2 stones to lose I am pretty average looking in terms of size.

Don't want to judge anyone, just thought it would be an interesting angle to look at.

3laine75

My daughters know but they are 18 and 21, there's no way I would have discussed dieting or healthy eating with them when they were kids.

I think girls, and boys now too, have enough to deal with in terms of body image with what's in the media without parents discussing dieting and exercise.

Paperchains38

Both my partner and i are on MFP so we do discuss it a lot especially at meal times however our 3 year old has starting saying about calories and grams so i think we are going to have to make sure she is not in ear shot as i really don't want to have her thinking that it is all right to get fat as long as you count calories later on in life (i know it may not happen but just in case) as for my nearly 18 year old she now knows all about food and obesity (she has seen me fat most of her life) and luckily she is at a healthy weight and BMI. My mother was always on a diet when i was a kid and i think it has had a bearing on my life as this were the extreme diets of the 80's that were around.

BLaurieJ

I have a similar question - my kids are 10 and 7. My 10 year old is inactive and big for his age (both in height and weight). He is quite academic so I have talked to him about it from a science perspective - e.g. food is energy for the body and how much energy is in food and how much energy you burn off - more like an equation that I am trying to balance. I do worry that he is overweight and that too much talk will give him an eating disorder.....

megomerrett

BLaurieJ - I know what you mean. My stepdaughter is big for her age - she only started rugby last autumn but it's done wonders for her self confidence. She's done ballet and gymnastics and swimming in the past and 1. I don't think the leotards and swimsuits did her any favours body confidence wise and 2. she's naturally quite stocky, tall and strong and not very delicate. In rugby she uses her strength to her advantage, she's fast and all of that makes her feel good about what makes her different. Also, it's a really good workout! They do circuits and all sorts. Team sports aren't for everyone though and think it's about finding the right hobby/activity for them as an individual.

The science idea is good as that's what it's all about. It's the body image stuff that gets tricky.

happymom24

I have 4 kids, from 9 1/2 down to 19 months. The only thing they see me doing differently is exercising. I eat what they eat, but we generally eat fairly healthy anyway. My 8 year old asked why I was now exercising, and I told her it gives me more energy and makes me happy.

When my husband did MFP two years ago, he was impossible! Always talking about calories in this or that. (but he did have 100 lbs to lose, so he was intense!) My oldest definitely picked up on it, and I kept telling him to stop. I didn't want her worrying about calories, or getting that thought stuck in her head. She would read the calories, though, to be "grown up". So, we had a discussion about how calories are not bad and we need calories to live. We then explained good/bad calories, not that there are bad ones, really, but how everyone has a daily calorie amount, and some foods are healthier or will make your tummy fuller than others. We turned it into a discussion of food choices.

After a brief time, she stopped with the calories and went back to being a kid! And, so far, she hasn't picked up on my doing it, but as I said, I'm not eating differently than they are or i was, I'm just being more mindful of the serving sizes.

megomerrett

Paperchains38 - they do pick up a lot don't they those pesky 3 year olds!

Also, what you say about your mum yo-yoing and knowing about the diets as a kid - my friends who are overweight have mothers who did (and still do) just that. It's about having a skewed relationship with food I think.

Being active is so important - friends who are still slim and always have been usually come from families who would cycle or hike together on weekends and holidays.

randomtai

No. Kids need to learn how to be kids more often these days.

callsitlikeiseeit

i think it can set them up for a lifetime of body image issues and yoyo dieting.

stressing HEALTH and being healthy/ active is great (and is what i do) but i minimize/ dont talk about calories/weight/scales around any of my kids (2 teenage girls and 9 year old son).

Like happymom up there, my 9 year old asked why i was going to the gym so much, and i told him because it helps my body stay healthy and makes me happy. he goes ' yeah, i like to ride my bike'.

my teenagers see me weigh my food but dont really get what im doing. i think they just think im weird. (i am, but thats aside from food scales, LOLLOL)

megomerrett

happymom24 - I get that with my husband too! He wants us eating chicken breast all of the time! I have to cook our family meals for everyone and that's about making small changes and looking at our portions but making food that the kids enjoy. My 6 year old is fussy but does like couscous, quorn chicken, carrots, pasta (without sauce!) etc - with him we use his gymnastics as a reason that he has to eat the right food for his muscles to grow and to give him energy. That's also a challenge - we want him to eat more but his sister to eat less - it's a challenge but I know that we can impact on their whole life's relationship with food. I used to be fussy as a kid and was told to finish my plate etc and now I still find myself trying to eat EVERYTHING on my plate even when I feel full. We try to make it more about tasting everything and stopping when you're full.

megomerrett

Cool - glad there are so many sensible mums out there! (and dads I'm sure, they've just not commented!)

Randomtai - totally get what you're saying. Childhood is such a precious and amazing thing.

lisalsd1

I have a 6 and 4 year old. In my opinion, the best thing you can do for your kids is focus on health (vs. weight loss)...and to lead by example. I take my kids to the gym with me. Obviously, they aren't working out, but they see their mom exercising consistently. I eat the foods that I tell my kids to eat, like salmon and broccoli (not the most kid-friendly foods). I'm sure the kids know about MFP. My husband also logs food/activity, so we discuss it around the kids. It's a tool for health-monitoring.

I used to be an elementary school teacher. The kids will have to learn how to navigate the world of food outside of your house at some point. It's best to teach them and then reinforce (at home) the choices that you want them to make on their own. If MFP is part of how you are getting healthy...then there is no problem with the kids knowing about it.

Ms_LisaKay

My boys are 11 & 14. Like many of you, I do worry about (inadvertently causing) body image issues. Hubby was diagnosed with diabetes in Dec 2014, so we had to make a change. Our boys were regularly mentioning how fat we were anyway (and it was/is true). When I talk to them, we frame it around Dad's health issue and both of our desire to be able to do more things with them. We talk about how much more fun camping and Six Flags will be this summer. We talk about going to Laser Tag again (finally). We go to the gym quite often now and talk about what we are doing there, and sometimes even show them basic lifts with low weight dumbbells. But we do NOT talk at them - we wait until they ask something and then answer it. Both of them are healthy weights, but Hubby and I were at their age. We try to focus on activity that will be fun rather than looks.

I don't know how this will go in the long run for them, but I figure it is like every other parenting issue: handle it the best we can.

RejsGirl

My girls are two of my biggest supporters, they are 12 & 13. They know it all. Knowledge is power and they know why I do what I do and why I'm the way I am and they know why I'm doing my best to be a healthier person in general. Being overweight or having an eating disorder is so much more than food for me. Plus I think they see it anyway if all of sudden you're moving, eating less, cooking more healthy and of course, losing weight!

I do my best to stress the importance of health and self confidence, not beauty and vanity. Being honest with my children is so much better than letting someone else (media, print and others who don't have their best interest at heart) fill their heads with nonsense. Everything can be a teaching moment, just depends on how you wanna lay it all out there.

DawnieB1977

My eldest is nearly 6 and my middle one nearly 4, and my youngest is 10 months.

They don't know about MFP, but they do know about healthy food and exercise. My son is at school and last year they talked about healthy eating, and pretty much every day I get asked 'is this healthy?'. They also know I go to the gym a lot (6 days a week on average) and I tell them I want to be healthy and I like exercising because it's good for you.

They eat very healthily, with an occasional treat, and they're very active. They eat the same meals as we do, things like chicken, fish, veggies and they love homemade smoothies. They also love homemade cake! I've told them that cake, chocolate, crisps etc are fine so long as you don't have too much of them. We tend to cook most things from scratch.

They're aware now that my dad is very overweight. They say 'grandad has a big fat tummy because he eats too much'.

We spend a lot of time outside, we're always going to the beach, park etc and the kids love using their scooters on the seafront.

megomerrett

Good work guys!

Megoondas

My daughter is 6 years old, and I don't discuss it with her or in front of her. She knows that I exercise and we talk about eating healthy food (along with my 7-year-old son), but I always put it in a way that shows I want to be healthy even though I want to lose weight as well. I make kid-friendly recipes at home that are healthy but still taste good. I don't want them to think that the only good-tasting food comes from McDonald's. My kids don't know that I track my caloric intake/expenditure, nor do I have any interest in telling them. There's no need for me to tell them. I don't want my kids to grow up with body image issues, and I remember my mother talking so poorly about herself all the time. I don't want to talk like that in front of my kids.

4leighbee

If you are using MFP to help you make healthy lifelong choices about fitness and nutrition and to be more balanced and sensible in your choices, then absolutely. It's interesting to show them the different macros in certain foods and engage in a conversation about nutrition with them. If you believe in moderation and hard work to get results, then absolutely.

If you are using it only to lose weight, then keep that to yourself.

ArkMom35

My kids are 7, 5, 3, and 1. The older three know I'm trying to eat better and exercise more so that I can lose some weight and be healthier. They like to exercise with me sometimes and even ate cauliflower mash last night so I think it's having a positive effect on them, maybe because I discuss it in a positive way. My three year old did ask me if there was six calories in his snack one day, that was pretty funny

bramble345

My 7 year old daughter was coming home from school asking about 'good' and 'bad' foods. One of her friends mums is dieting very vocally! We turned it into a discussion of foods as fuel to give her energy for running and gymnastics, and how protein helps her build new bits of her so she can jump higher, get taller etc. Now of course its all just another tool for her to use 'mummy i need to have nuts for supper because i don't think i've had enough protein today' 'i really need another snack because i didn't eat much school dinner and did games and swimming today so i need more fuel' etc etc

WinoGelato

My boys are 6 and 3 and they don't know about MFP per se but they see me using the bar code scanner on the app on my phone so they of course perk up at that. I tell them I'm checking the calories in the food but they haven't asked any further questions. I use a FitBit and the other day my husband picked up my oldest from school and said he was walking in circles around the classroom. He asked him what he was doing and he said, "just getting some steps in"! LOL.
My boys, especially my oldest, are on the small side so I definitely don't want them feeling they have to restrict anything. But that really hasn't been my approach, I eat all the same food as before I just work it in.

amusedmonkey

I think what you are doing is great, especially modeling strength and the desire to get better at what you do. I don't have children of my own, but I really don't believe one should walk on eggshells in front of their children. They would pick up on that more than they would on issues like dieting, self-image...etc.

I say that because when I was a kid my aunts dieted and counted calories all the time. My mom fad-dieted for a month once a year after our visit to my grandparents where she tends to gain weight (and she still does it to this day). I remember thinking of calories like a game or a way to prove I'm "smart" to my aunts. The 5 year old me would go like "I know there are so and so calories in this and that without having to look it up!". None of that ever registered on a personal level or had any effect on my self-image. First time I tried to diet I was 18 and excited to look good in college (and good meant being overweight rather than obese). I dabbled a few times after that for fun to join a friend or out of curiosity, nothing serious, but only really started to get serious 3 years ago after a health scare.

My point is, if the household is a safe place, and they feel you love them, everything is going to be alright. there is not one particular parenting recipe of perfection, and food issues more often than not have a much deeper cause than being aware how food affects our weight. No one "contracts" eating disorder or poor self-image.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

There was a thread awhile back where a bunch of parents were asking for MFP to allow kids (right now it's 18 and over). I was honestly very surprised that so many parents would want that. I mean, I weigh out my broccoli. And that's fine for me, but if I were a parent I don't think I'd want that for my kids.

Francl27

Your 8yo is dieting? That makes me really sad.

I have 7yo twins. I do NOT talk about it. Obviously they know I'm weighing my food, and that I exercise, but that's pretty much it. And that sometimes I won't have noodles/potatoes for dinner. They however heard more at school about what is healthy and what isn't, and sometimes they ask me if something is healthy. My answer is that some things are just fine but must be eaten in moderation.

barbiereynolds701

My almost 6yr comes up to me and grabs.my belly fat, moves it.around a little bit and says, "you only have to lose this much before your skinny like me mom!" Bahahahahaha. She is so funny!

NewMeSM75

My daughter will be 12 next month. She knows about mfp. I talkto her about it. I mainly explained what's healthy and about eating disorders. I talk to my kids about everything.

melimomTARDIS

I lost 60lbs,(a third of my former weight) so yeah, my kids picked up on that. I talk about keeping treats as "sometimes" foods, enjoying physical activity, and eating healthy meals. I also keep a basic food guide pyramid on my fridge and we talk about how to select a healthy meal from the catagories.

julesxo

I don't make a big deal about it. My oldest knows what healthy foods and unhealthy foods are and she learns it from school as well from me. She knows that junk food is a treat. The kids see me workout and they usually try to do it with me. I think if I were sitting around complaining that I was "fat" or saying "I can't eat that because I am on a diet" or something then yeah, that wouldn't be good. But just being concious about what you eat and getting exercise? I don't see the harm in them seeing that.

LauraHasABabyJack

I don't talk about MFP with my 5 year old but we do talk about eating healthy and feeding our bodies to be strong. He also likes to "exercise" with us by doing yoga and using little weights and we like to practice various sports in the yard and go hike.

Of_Monsters_and_Meat

Whats a diet? I just come here for the fun times. I have a 2 and 4 year old. We talk about good food and exercise. Its a way of life.

The hardest part is finding sports and physical activities to do with them at that age.

ew_david

Mine are 14, 11, and 8. They see that I exercise and eat normal food. They do not see that I log calories or anything like that. That isn't anything they need to concern themselves with.