I'm over it.

Otterluv

You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

BMR: 1436
TDEE: 1975

So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.

This is absolutely solid advice here, OP. Please especially heed the part about accurate logging. The only way to evaluate the effectiveness of your restriction is to make sure that it's as accurate as it can be.

sunnshhiine

I'm with you -- the constant struggle without success is very wearing on the psyche. Shutting down the negative dialog in my head is difficult so every now and then I give myself a breather for a couple of days and then come back feeling better and more psychologically ready to fight on. Do for yourself what you would do for a friend and give yourself a pep talk drowning out that negative voice, then pick up the mantel and soldier on. Success is important to you otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help and wanting it is half the battle!

Thank you so much for your understanding comment. Much appreciated.

sunnshhiine

This is absolutely solid advice here, OP. Please especially heed the part about accurate logging. The only way to evaluate the effectiveness of your restriction is to make sure that it's as accurate as it can be.

That's one thing I am anal about. When I log my food, I log everything... right down to the ketchup and garlic powder. glad to see my logging craziness is actually a good thing.

DragonSquatter

You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

BMR: 1436
TDEE: 1975

So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.

^ Spectacular advice here.

I just want to add that you need to be consistent, take measurements of your body, and above all, be patient. You didn't get overweight overnight. You're not going get to your goal overnight.

Always measure and weigh your food also. It makes a huge difference.

1ConcreteGirl

OP,

get into the Eat Train Progress group and start learning WHY things work and you won't ever have to worry about being frustrated about any of this again.

start by reading all the important threads linked from here:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

those will help you figure out what your real calorie goal should be, what your macros should be, the various things that can help you with your weight loss, what won't, etc.

break the yo-yo'ing cycle forever.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

Agree with this, too. A ton of excellent information and an amazing resource of really knowledgable people in there.

OP, I'm really happy for you. You're about to find out that losing weight doesn't have to be painful at all, and that's a truly freeing discovery. I know, because I did all the stuff that didn't work, too. The only thing that works is so beautifully simple that it seems too easy to be true. You're in luck. :flowerforyou:

salcha76

How are you over it if you keep replayng old tapes? Like a broken record? Instead of going back & re-doing the same thing....write a new chapter.....life only happens if you make it happen. If you have decided you're over it....only you can decide to change and move on. Sure, it's tough....but once your mind is made up you've got it. The energy you give off is the energy you will receive back. Good luck to you!

jennifershoo

You don't want it badly enough. You sabotage yourself after a plateau...

SkinnyMsFitness

Hi! I've noticed some things you mentioned that could be issues: inconsistency and fad dieting.

I've found that it helps (big time) to think of it as 'changing your lifestyle,' and not dieting. That right there will help with the consistency. I still have work to do on myself, but I have improved greatly.

For example: I drank pop 24/7, mindlessly ate & never exercised. I know, what a great lifestyle, huh? lol

Well, I started kicking one habit at a time. I quit drinking pop. I refused to! And once I felt that I was successful (after a few months), I worked on kicking another habit - I began to exercise. And once that routine was set in pretty good, I quit mindlessly eating.

I know your situation is probably different than mine (you goal weight is MUCH closer), but the bottom line is to change your mentality. Our minds are very powerful, but YOU CAN CONTROL THEM! (At least most of the time.)

Just remember, you want to make one change at a time to better yourself - to attempt to reach total wellness. You'll get there. :-)

MelsAuntie

If you really ARE over it, you'll buckle down, log in and get to work. And if you won't or don't do that, you're not over it yet. Up to you. Nobody else is going to make the choice for you, you have to.

KatLifter

You don't want it badly enough. You sabotage yourself after a plateau...

Or maybe over-restrictive dieting didn't work for her, as it doesn't work for many. CongreteGirl and I showed her how to calculate TDEE and set macros for real change. Not wanting it and being on an unsustainable diet are two different problems.
OP: You can do it this time

CorvusCorax77

Screw moderation, calorie counting and restricting. Add more veggies to your diet. I would avoid frozen vegetable (mostly because I think that gross). Stop worrying about how much you're eating and start focusing on what you're eating. Vegetables are good for you and they're low in calories.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? (excuse the non-vegan joke.. haha. just kidding)

Paying attention to calories in/calories out encourages eating more veggies because they are low in calories. Adding more veggies on top of an already unhealthily high calorie diet does nothing for you.

I was super fat for years when I was vegan. I was also super fat at a vegetarian. I was super fat and cutting meat, dairy, eggs out of my diet didn't solve it.

Paying attention to how much of what I was eating solved it. I needed more protein, less complex carbs. I needed less sugar. I needed to move more, eat less, and eat better. Yes, that involved eating more veggies. But it also involved eating less breads, cakes, burritos, bagels, and a bunch of other stuff.

OP:

My advice is listen to ConcreteGirl on this one. Whatever changes you make to lose weight must be changes you can sustain once you have lost weight. Maybe your caloric allowance will go up when you hit goal, but your habits will certainly need to be different than they are now or what they were to get you overweight in the first place. THat's why it's a lifestyle change. Live like a skinny and fit person and you will become a skinny and fit person. Pretty simple. And if what you are doing isn't sustainable, it will not lead to success.

Me myself personally, loggin is sustainable. In intend to log for the rest of my life. I may be less anal about it at times, but I plan on paying attention to how much I eat and how much I work out. Exercising regularly is something I will do for the rest of my life. Running 2-3x's a week is sustainable. Resistance training 3-4x's a week is sustainable. I find these things to be entertaining and they make me happy to do. I intend to eat sweets now and again, in both my weight loss "journey" and when I am skinny (ok, I'm skinny now, but I ate chocolate every day that I was losing weight). I eat carbs. I just eat a lot less of those things than I used to, and I balance it with exercise better (ie. if I wanna pig out, I run like a roadrunner and then I eat like a beast!)

mmddwechanged

I had to be patient and slow to lose those stubborn ten pounds. Slow can often mean making your brain feel defeated and like the whole thing is impossible. Slow seems like a plateau. I just had faith in the calorie deficit; I believed that as long as I logged, weighed and measured, and stayed at or below TDEE I would not gain. I had to believe that I didn't really gain five pounds when the scale said I did. I lost at a rate of about .3 of a pound a week, the scale isn't going to pick that up in a hurry! Having my calories set higher like just 5 - 10 % below TDEE made it easier. I ate 1500, then 1600 and slowly up to 2000. Now I'm at about 1800 - 1900 to maintain. That's all I did and it worked! If I went over TDEE I split the difference over the next few days and was practicing maintenance. I didn't eat back exercise calories most of the time. It really is that simple. I also didn't start resistance exercises until after I reached goal weight, for medical reasons. It's all good and keep it simple!!!

sunnshhiine

Hi! I've noticed some things you mentioned that could be issues: inconsistency and fad dieting.

I've found that it helps (big time) to think of it as 'changing your lifestyle,' and not dieting. That right there will help with the consistency. I still have work to do on myself, but I have improved greatly.

For example: I drank pop 24/7, mindlessly ate & never exercised. I know, what a great lifestyle, huh? lol

Well, I started kicking one habit at a time. I quit drinking pop. I refused to! And once I felt that I was successful (after a few months), I worked on kicking another habit - I began to exercise. And once that routine was set in pretty good, I quit mindlessly eating.

I know your situation is probably different than mine (you goal weight is MUCH closer), but the bottom line is to change your mentality. Our minds are very powerful, but YOU CAN CONTROL THEM! (At least most of the time.)

Just remember, you want to make one change at a time to better yourself - to attempt to reach total wellness. You'll get there. :-)

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your sincerity.

I used to drink pop all the time as well, then I quit drinking it -- except for on special occasions or just once in a while. I actually went a whole couple years without touching it at all.

I think it's important for people to realize that everyone's weight-gain stories are not the same. I did not gain those almost 50 pounds because I was stuffing my face constantly. I gained them because i went through major health problems a couple years ago which required surgeries, months of treatments, countless medications and weight-gaining steroids, many hospital stays, and more.

Saying "it's not all my fault" is not a cop-out -- it's just the facts. I've NEVER been an overweight person -- in fact, my doctor thought I was going to be a midget because of how petite and tiny I always was. I beat that odd, as well as beat the odds of his prediction that I was going to be deaf.

Sometimes I think people offer harsh advice without knowing the whole story -- but how could they know if they weren't made aware? Regardless, be kind to everyone, because we all go through hard times at different points in our lives. Share a smile and some encouragement because you never know how much good it will do for that person.

Thanks for being an encouragement.

Cyclingbonnie

Okay ... I get it, been there. I've decided I'm going to do it this time. So, I do not cut out any major food group. I allow myself a little of those things that trip you up if you deny yourself. I never try to loose more than half a pound to a pound a week. Sometimes I loose more, sometimes I loose less, and sometimes I gain. As long as my general direction is down, I'm fine with it. I don't give myself permission to fail, but I don't beat myself up when I stumble. The only way to fail at this is to quit, you will have good days and bad days and sometimes the bad days will be overwhelming. Remember it is temporary, and the good days will come again.

CorvusCorax77

and I want to add that a huge part of making this whole thing sustainable is letting go of the bad feelings that come when we mess up, and just getting back to it.... or letting go of guilty for unhealthy choices. Sometimes I want to eat that 400 calorie cupcake and I don't have time to run and if I do so, I do so with intent and awareness that it's against my goals. I will allow myself to do this on rare occasions. It's ok now and again.

mmddwechanged

Okay ... I get it, been there. I've decided I'm going to do it this time. So, I do not cut out any major food group. I allow myself a little of those things that trip you up if you deny yourself. I never try to loose more than half a pound to a pound a week. Sometimes I loose more, sometimes I loose less, and sometimes I gain. As long as my general direction is down, I'm fine with it. I don't give myself permission to fail, but I don't beat myself up when I stumble. The only way to fail at this is to quit, you will have good days and bad days and sometimes the bad days will be overwhelming. Remember it is temporary, and the good days will come again.

Sounds perfect! Do this and you will lose.

MinnieInMaine

Just wanted to add a note on the restriction thing... I'd tried just about every diet out there too and always failed because of the deprivation involved. But I didn't even realize it until my best friend asked me why I the last diet didn't work. I'd been on Atkins for a year and lost 45-50 pounds then I went on vacation and was re-introduced to all these wonderful foods I'd been missing out on (bread, pizza, yogurt with fruit and granola for breakfast, etc) and I just couldn't face going back on the plan after that. So I just gave in to everything and gained all the weight back.

But I digress...back to the question...at first I dismissed it with a comment about "oh that's in the past, I'm ready to face the future" but her question just wouldn't get out of my head so I decided to really think about it and I realized the whole restriction thing was the problem. So when I started losing weight again a few years ago, not only was a I determined to finally do it this time, I had a secret weapon - knowing WHY all the other diets didn't work! I've continued to enjoy pizza and chocolate and all that, I just make healthier choices and keep my portions low. Wish I'd figured all this out years ago!!

Best of luck to you!!

chelsifina

Its been really great getting some of the information here from all of these posters and, OP, I hope that you are getting a sense that we are all here with you and support you in fighting the good fight for healthy living!! It is very true that a good deal of education into what you eat, your specific caloric needs and understanding your body are all necessary in changing your lifestyle and effectively losing weight. This journey has been a long one for me as well, and the more that I learn, the healthier and fitter I get. I was at a plateau for a long time, about a year, and doing everything right but feeling awful. I gave up a couple of times, came back, gave up, etc, but when I started sharing my frustrations with my pilates instructor, she directed me to a physical therapist, and a few more referrals later I ended up in a doc's office who, after a series of tests, discovered that I had had intestinal parasites for a very long time and had jacked up my digestive system, my hormone levels, and my metabolism. Its been 9 months since my diagnosis (6 months parasite free!!!!) and I feel so much better and can actually lose weight now. I have to work very very hard at precisely eating only foods that my body can tolerate, otherwise I get completely out of whack, but the pay off of all this work is fantastic. I have my life back!!!
All of this to say, it is a hard journey, but you really, really have to make this about learning about yourself and your body. There is no single answer for everyone. Some people work great a vegetarians. Me, I have to eat mostly meats, though I used to be vegetarian. You have to make studying YOU your central task. WW doesn't work for you. Good, you know that now. The default setting on MFP don't work for you. Great! Keep experimenting until you find what does!!! Don't give up! Health is sooooo fantastic. You deserve to feel great, and you deserve to be properly cared for. Learn how to do that!

LorinaLynn

Anyone have any motivation or tips on how to make this better? Because, honestly, I'm over it (which I've said 27 times already).

Go slow and steady. Calculate what your maintenance calories would be for your goal weight (calculating your tdee at the activity level you can honestly see yourself staying with long term), and eat that. Eventually, the weight will come off, no dieting or deprivation or exercising your *kitten* off required.

tekwriter

Commit to logging every day even bad days, build a network of supportive friends, do not consider a diet, learn how to live healthy. Good luck.