why people are so cruel??
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2 days ago I was in a party with my friends, I was with my best friend when someone came close to me and told me is it your daughter?, I was so embarrassed when my friend told her no she we are friends. I feel so broken, we are the same age my friend and I but she is skinny and I am overweight, how to overcome this bad situation? I am so broken from what happened.
It looks like you answered your own question. I can't say that this person was being cruel. We don't even know what either one of you look like. How can we make any judgements on this?
Just keep working on yourself. That's all you can do.0 -
I highly doubt the intent was to be cruel, or "break" you. And it's doubtful that the persons question had anything to do with your weight.
Don't let people have so much power over you. It makes life a lot easier.0 -
ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
I'm genuinely curious, why is this so offensive? Should I punch the next person who cards me, even though I am far older than 21? Weep for days because someone dares to suggest I may be old enough to drive a minivan and have a stable 401k? I'm so confused by these answers.0 -
The funniest is I had a friend that was substitute teacher who got escorted to the principals office cause the teacher though she was a student being wise. She actually sought another profession because it happened so often.0
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I don't let remarks of strangers bother me. If they were trying to be rude, I would had came back with a smart@$$ remark and moved on.0
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ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
Why so unloved?0 -
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Um, she doesn't need you to ask.ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
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Let your steam off by working your butt off !!! ( we've all been there )0
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I dated a guy when I was 16 that everyone asked if he was my older brother, he even got called out as a pedophile when someone saw us kissing because they assumed he was a much older guy or even potentially my father. He was 6'4" with a beard, I was 5'1" and looked around 14 at the time despite being a little older. When I was 18, I was mistaken for 16, and at 21 mistaken for 18, and the cycle still continues to this day.
People do make mistakes, not always with an intention to cause hurt. If they did it on purpose, that's one thing. But it may have been an awkward mistake
I'm very sorry it hurt you and I hope you can overcome it and realize it doesn't have to drag you down. You are strong! 0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »Someone this week thought I was Belgian. I was mortified.
Are you from Bruges?
Dammit. I thought this place was about support0 -
Cruelty requires intent- I don't think there was any malice involved in the situation. And it needn't have anything to do with weight. The best way to handle it would have been to laugh, then simply make the introductions.0
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People say things without thinking; it's just the human condition. I doubt they were being malicious. (yeah, they shouldn't have commented on it either way) Like someone else said, maybe you carry yourself as someone older.
For some of us, it's tough to judge age on others. Everyone in my immediate family looks significantly younger than they are. I'm 40 have have been mistaken for a student at my daughter's school multiple times in the past couple years. Because of that family trait, I have a terrible time guessing the age of adults.
And since we're sharing...when I had my daughter I was 26 and over the next few years got questions like: "What do your parents think of you having a baby?"; "Wow, you've been having a bit too much fun for your age, huh?"; "will you be paying with wic or stamps?"...there were others. Those, in my opinion, were malicious.0 -
ThickMcRunFast wrote: »ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
I'm genuinely curious, why is this so offensive? Should I punch the next person who cards me, even though I am far older than 21? Weep for days because someone dares to suggest I may be old enough to drive a minivan and have a stable 401k? I'm so confused by these answers.
Love the dog pic!
But anyways, if I get carded. I'm like heck yeah!!!!
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People say things without thinking; it's just the human condition. I doubt they were being malicious. (yeah, they shouldn't have commented on it either way) Like someone else said, maybe you carry yourself as someone older.
For some of us, it's tough to judge age on others. Everyone in my immediate family looks significantly younger than they are. I'm 40 have have been mistaken for a student at my daughter's school multiple times in the past couple years. Because of that family trait, I have a terrible time guessing the age of adults.
And since we're sharing...when I had my daughter I was 26 and over the next few years got questions like: "What do your parents think of you having a baby?"; "Wow, you've been having a bit too much fun for your age, huh?"; "will you be paying with wic or stamps?"...there were others. Those, in my opinion, were malicious.
Seriously?!
That is so unacceptable. Humans suck sometimes. 0 -
They weren't being cruel, they just misjudged your age. Don't worry about what people you don't even know think.0
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You wanna hear something bad, a couple of idiots have thought that my husband was my son! Yeah, I'm a little older than he is.... we're consenting adults, it's legal. I just raise an eyebrow and let them know in a way to make sure they are the ones who feel dumb, not me.0
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KrissyMuree wrote: »Seriously?! That is so unacceptable. Humans suck sometimes.
Yeah, I generally roll with things but it was fun to politely respond and know that they felt like crap for saying it.
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Mistaking someone's age isn't cruel……….
If you are unhappy with the way you look, do something about it. The power is in your hands.
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ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
Y r u so obsessed with vomit?0 -
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ThickMcRunFast wrote: »laurielima wrote: »Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.
How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?
OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.
I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.
Y r u so obsessed with vomit?
:laugh:0 -
I got carded to get into a rated R movie once and my 17 year old (at the time) daughter was with me. I looked at myself when I got home and I was wearing a high pony tail, a Lloyd Dobler tee shirt, jeans and sneakers. I wasn't married at the time so there was no wedding ring on my finger. I was pretty much wearing exactly what my daughter was wearing except her tee shirt was a Farmer Ted from 16 Candles. I did look pretty young, not young enough to be carded, but if I had been standing next to one of my girlfriends, I could have easily passed for much younger than one of them. My point is, it is very possible that they asked that for reasons other than your weight. Does your girlfriend wear clothes that look much more youthful, does she wear trendier make up than you do, is her hair styled in some new edgy look...there are so many things that could have triggered the question and not all of them have to do with weight. It was inappropriate for them to ask but are you absolutely sure it had to do with your size and not something else?0
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Try to work on not letting other people affect you that much. Losing weight is a long and challenging journey, and it really helps to have inner motivation and strength to make it through. Since I changed my diet, lost significant body fat, and started to take better care of myself overall, I have had several people tell me I look "younger, better, prettier, etc." I could either think, yikes, I was a fat old ham before, or say thanks and move forward. I have even lost friends and have distanced from a family member who are still on unhealthy tracks because they have mocked me for making healthy choices...0
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