Stop putting responsibility and control onto other people or food.

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24

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  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Can't we talk about the struggle and not try to one up each other by saying you can avoid cravings when another person cannot? Everyone is weak at some point. Maybe you're not at that point today, but you were. Give the other person a break.

    At no point did I mention cravings. I said "take responsibility." I eat ALL of my cravings. I crave "good" and "bad" food every day, and I eat what I crave. My food intake is my responsibility, so if I eat way more "bad" food than I should (like one time I ate about 3 brownies in a sitting) that's my choice. I subsequently choose whether I want to go over on calories as a result of that choice or whether I will simply eat less of the "good" food to keep within my caloric needs.

    It's all about YOU being responsible, not food or other people dictating what you do or letting those things take the blame if you don't happen to meet your goals. I never blame restaurants or family members if I choose to eat at or above maintenance, because it's my choice and my responsibility.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
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    annaskiski wrote: »
    Well, I have to say I've seen lots of posts where people were ranting angrily that their coworkers brought in donuts when they KNOW that the OP was on a diet.

    I mean seriously, the world doesn't revolve around you. Donuts will always be there. People aren't going to change their own behaviors for you.....

    I agree......someone will always bring in candy where I work. It's up to me to say no to chocolate. Grocery stores are not going to change the layout of the store. Marketers job is to improve sales. TV is not going to stop airing food commercials because a small minority can't control their behavior.
  • Charliecatesq
    Charliecatesq Posts: 100 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Well nothing makes me feel empowered and ready to gain control of my physiological need to eat high fat high sugar foods than being told i need to "stop eating it".

    Not sure what compelled you to have a pop at people who struggle with overeating and why they do it but its not helpful.
    i didn't say that you have to just stop eating. When I said "stop eating" it was as part of a choice. And yes, I've made the choice to NOT stop eating in the past. Meaning that I chose to continue eating my 4th chocolate bar instead of stopping (and yes, in those situations I actually DID have an internal dialogue). AlthougH I didn't count calories at the time, clearly the chocolate bar outweighed health and weight management at the time.

    Any decision you make is your responsibility, not the food's or someone else's. That means that both the good and the bad choices are your responsibility.

    I eat high fat high sugar food all the time, so this is not a jab at "bad food." This is simply telling people to stop shirking responsibility of thier intake onto other things/people, whether the choices they make are positive or negative for their desired results.

    If you think people don't know this already then you are sorely mistaken. I really am at a loss why you think this sort of rant at people is in anyway helpful? Yes i am sure it is very frustrating for you to see people lying about their motivation to eat food they know is bad for their weight-loss and it must have you lying awake at night but if you read the majority of the success stories here you will see people have tried this dieting and lifestyle change thing more than once and the struggle to put these thoughts out of your head doesn't happen because someone told you to stop being feeble.

    How about a bit of peace and love instead?

  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Would your friend appreciate being outed like that??
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    edited March 2015
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis

    Neither do I.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    Would your friend appreciate being outed like that??

    She's my friend too, and she will come out swinging. She has in the past on the forums. It's not something she hides. Actually, she's really damn proud of her 11 years sober.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    Would your friend appreciate being outed like that??

    She's my friend too, and she will come out swinging. She has in the past on the forums. It's not something she hides. Actually, she's really damn proud of her 11 years sober.

    Cool, ok.
  • MrCoolGrim
    MrCoolGrim Posts: 351 Member
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    giphy.gif
  • Charliecatesq
    Charliecatesq Posts: 100 Member
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    MrCoolGrim wrote: »
    giphy.gif

    Cracking me up!
  • MelRC117
    MelRC117 Posts: 911 Member
    edited March 2015
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis
    Did you miss the part where it was quoted from someone to said legitimate eating disorders?

    Good for you to have everything figured out. People who need to hear this will have to figure it out on their own. Nothing you can do about that.

  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis

    O.O

    wow, maybe ask first? This is pretty F'd up to do without permission.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    brower47 wrote: »
    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis

    O.O

    wow, maybe ask first? This is pretty F'd up to do without permission.

    See my comment...
    tomatoey wrote: »
    Would your friend appreciate being outed like that??

    She's my friend too, and she will come out swinging. She has in the past on the forums. It's not something she hides. Actually, she's really damn proud of her 11 years sober.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    annaskiski wrote: »
    Well, I have to say I've seen lots of posts where people were ranting angrily that their coworkers brought in donuts when they KNOW that the OP was on a diet.

    I mean seriously, the world doesn't revolve around you. Donuts will always be there. People aren't going to change their own behaviors for you.....

    Mhm. And sure, the coworkers could also bring in say... a fruit/veggie platter for you, but at the same time if you are in a work environment where 50+ people are not assumed to be eating in any special way then why should others feel forced to go out and do extra work just for you? In one of my classes last semester the prof would bring in chocolate or baked goods sometimes. I couldn't eat the baked goods (gluten) but I could eat most of the candies. I would pass these up, especially if I already had my own chocolate at home.

    Would it be nice if everyone accommodated to fit my needs? Sure. But I don't expect them to, but because I'm taking responsibility for my own choices, I don't NEED them to do anything differently.
  • Charliecatesq
    Charliecatesq Posts: 100 Member
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    I suppose the essence is don't be a dick and mind your own *shrug*
  • minipony
    minipony Posts: 194 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    An eating disorder does not mean blaming others or the food for your inability to meet your caloric needs is justified though. The work is all on YOU, not on the food. And I'd venture a guess that there are significantly more people here with anorexia and/or bulimia than with an over-eating ED, so for them it's not "just stop eating."

    Plus I didn't say that you need to just stop eating. I said that you are in control of WHATEVER decisions you made, not the food or other people. Meaning you were in control when you ate to your calorie needs, and you were in control when you failed to meet those needs (too little or too much). Having a mental disorder can make it harder to meet your goals, yes, but to blame your coworkers or work schedule or fighting family members etc on not eating nearly enough isn't really helpful. To say "yes, I was afraid to eat tonight, I didn't eat enough and that is on me" is more constructive, imo.[/quo

    Having an addiction to food is a mental disorder? I guess 3/4 of america has a mental disorder then. Is addiction to cigarettes a mental disorder. Hmmmm....Kind of an offensive post. Why are you such an authority now on this and eating. It doesn't really look like you don't have any food issues.
  • MrCoolGrim
    MrCoolGrim Posts: 351 Member
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    I suppose the essence is don't be a dick and mind your own *shrug*

    giphy.gif
  • blktngldhrt
    blktngldhrt Posts: 1,053 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    i thought certain foods also triggered chemicals, such as dopamine, in the brain..that are linked to addiction.

    what about someone who can't eat carbs because of the effects? example, i eat carbs and feel awesome for 30 minutes until i produce too much insulin, my blood sugar drops and i feel like crap. eating carbs again will immediately make me feel better. a cycle starts. sounds similar to addiction to me.

    i agree that people shouldn't be pissed that others are bringing donuts or whatever around. thats ridiculous. my SO offers to pick up ice cream whenever he gets some for himself and i always decline. my aunt brought a homemade rhubarb pie over for the family and i had a coffee while everyone else ate it. thats not difficult for me. if i do eat carbs..its another story..and it took a long time and trial and error to figure out how to get things under control.

    not everyone is at your level yet..and thats ok. hopefully they will get there.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    I get what you are saying OP. In short my line is,"we are a product of our choices".

    It is not an easy place to get to for some people and that is just reality.

    This is most likely true, although I'm curious to see under what conditions it would be easiest to accept responsibility and control. I know that when I ate "clean" I also had a poor relationship with food, and I did not really accept responsibility. It was more that food or exercise controlled my outcomes, and as I mentioned earlier I got angry when chips were brought into the house. Imo now chocolate is worth the calories more than chips are, but my dad still buys big bags of chips regularly. I'm no longer angry about that haha.

    I wonder too if one's readiness to actually lose weight will affect one's willingness to accept responsibility. I was 120% ready to lose weight and change my body composition this time around, so that likely helped me accept responsibility. But most importantly, dropping my negative view of food ("good" and "bad" food) really helped. Seeing that it's really just about calories for weight managemnet and macros for body composition/satiety, it's made it far easier for me to know how to make choices but also to accept when I make bad choices.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    brower47 wrote: »
    ana3067 wrote: »
    Team_Hownd wrote: »
    I can agree to some extent, but some people do have legitimate eating disorders where it's not quite as simple as "just stop eating"

    Exactly. It's like telling an alcoholic "just don't drink". Sure, that is obviously the answer, but it doesn't mean the spouse bringing liquor into the house is not a problem.

    I have one friend on my friendslist who happens to have been an alcoholic. I'm going to tag her in this and see what she has to say about this comparison (I know for a fact that she does not agree with people equating drug addictions to food consumption, though).

    @Liftng4Lis

    O.O

    wow, maybe ask first? This is pretty F'd up to do without permission.

    See my comment...
    tomatoey wrote: »
    Would your friend appreciate being outed like that??

    She's my friend too, and she will come out swinging. She has in the past on the forums. It's not something she hides. Actually, she's really damn proud of her 11 years sober.

    Alright.
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