116 lbs lost and in trouble

Rob_the_ToonMan

According to my doctor i am doing it right. He is extremely happy with my loss. He says he's never seen me more healthy

MrsMizart

Keep doing your thing. Are you going to the gym? Maybe she'll like the muscle.

Some excellent advice on this thread. I hope you can follow some and reach a happy understanding with your wife.

caitlinbrianne0817

Coming from a jealous girlfriend point of view, she may just be saying that. Like I don't like the thought of my boyfriend losing a lot of weight because then he will look even better than me than he already does. Therefor more girls will flirt with him, making me uncomfortable lol even though I know nothing would ever happen. Maybe that's her deal, or it might not be. Who knows. But what matters is how you feel about yourself, try not to let her discourage you.

Altagracia220

Tisk tisk. Her jealousy is showing. She should be proud and supportive of you, I sure am. What you did is a HUGE achievement and you did what so many struggle to do. Keep doing what you are doing if you are happy and healthy.

Altagracia220

happygalah wrote: »

Lonespar wrote: »

well I'm at 116 pounds lost I went from 343 pounds down to 227. sad thing is my wife's not that happy about it she gave me a 10 minute speech at raise volume last night about how terrible I look thin. I'm 227 I don't feel like I'm then but I am thinner......kind of discouraging

Is your wife overweight?

I like the idea about taking her to the doctor with you and having the doctor say what you are doing is healthy.

Yeessss.

MrCoolGrim

Jennloella wrote: »

what if she's just into big guys?

MrCoolGrim

Lonespar wrote: »

According to my doctor i am doing it right. He is extremely happy with my loss. He says he's never seen me more healthy

And thats all that matters!

jgnatca

I'm going to make some assumptions here. YMMV.

• You are very happy with your transformation and you have no desire to go backwards.
• Cycling is fun and you have no interest in giving that up either.
• Body image changes a lot, not just how you look. It changes how you feel, how people react to you. Heck, I have to get used to what my new body looks like.
• She is worried about something. She's scared enough to go off on a ten minute rant.
• You're not scared.

How can you move her over from scared to accepting? I'm going to suggest something a little offbeat. Why don't the two of you spend some time looking over your body, the good spots and the flabby spots? Talk about it. The trick here is getting her to gaze at you.

The act of gazing has been shown to make people more accepting and inclusive.

http://www.ted.com/talks/verna_myers_how_to_overcome_our_biases_walk_boldly_toward_them

rayw89

Lonespar wrote: »

I lost the weight with regular exercise and completely changing my eating habits I think she's worried that I exercise too much but I really enjoy it cuz I ride a bicycle and its fun

Are you spending less time together since you're now spending more time exercising? If so, it may not necessarily be all about jealously or insecurities.

You've done a fantastic job, btw!

fatcitizen

maybe she is worried that you will get hit on too much....

jgnatca

I've been the one getting active in our family, but hubby doesn't get in the way. We recently watched Unbroken together and there's a flashback scene where the hero is on his run, and his brother is riding his bike alongside.

Hubby leaned over and asked, "Is that going to be us this summer?"
I replied, "Yup, that would be about right."

AquaticQuests

MFP and the healthy lifestyle can become an obsession. Hope you are spending quality time with her. If she feels like you care more for the bike and your weigh ins then you do her, it's bound to cause some issues.

motherwesser

Excellent work bro! keep up the great work and do what's healthy. I'm thinking she will come around. By her saying that perhaps it is her conscience thinking she wants to do something and coming out the negative way towards you.

kokorae

Phenomenal loss #1! PLEASE don't let her comments discourage you! Like any other journey we embark on, not everyone will travel alongside and help us. Just remember why you started, why you continue everyday and keep that as your focus! Wish you the best in your CONTINUED journey.

kkzmom11

I agree with many that say "it's her problem, not yours". If you are happy with your progress, that's what matters. She will either come around and be happy for you, or jealous that she isn't being supportive.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

Kimberly3013 wrote: »

Coming from a wife who has a husband who is smaller than her. Insecurity can be a dangerous thing. When your husband starts looking good (or looks good) you are always thinking about him not being interested in you anymore and possibly becoming unfaithful.

this x1,000
I've seen it many times in life and also on these boards. I've also been through it myself.
Your wife is terrified of losing you to someone more attractive. She may not even realize she feels this way, or her behaviour and comments are the only way she knows how to express herself. You can either choose to ignore her (possibly irrational) concerns or you can do your best to allay her fears. I encourage you to work with her on this. Don't ignore it. It's not going to resolve itself without further discussion.

Need2Exerc1se

Lonespar wrote: »

well I'm at 116 pounds lost I went from 343 pounds down to 227. sad thing is my wife's not that happy about it she gave me a 10 minute speech at raise volume last night about how terrible I look thin. I'm 227 I don't feel like I'm then but I am thinner......kind of discouraging

How quickly did you lose it?

Losing 116 lbs most likely involved some lifestyle changes, and when someone changes their life it's because they are unhappy. She may be insecure that she is part of what you are unhappy with.

Or, she could have legitmate concerns about your health if you are dropping weight too quickly. Focusing on your appearance seems a bad way to comunicate that, but if you are focusing on your appearance she could see that as a way to make you take notice.

flatlndr

I started at 279, got down to the 170s. From about the time I hit Onederland my Mrs starting with the "you're not going to lose any more, are you?"

When I hit the 180s, and the questioning became more strident, I pulled out the BMI charts, showed here where I was, where I was going. I pulled out our wedding photos and said, "this is my target. I do believe you found me fit, not scrawny there, no?" That was the end of her challenges.
She was struggling with the big change in less than a year, but when she compared it to where I was in our early days, she now longer had an issue. It was all a matter of perspective.

Perhaps there's something similar you can do you allay your wife's concerns?

Rob_the_ToonMan

I lost the weight in two and a half years

NC_Girl

Talk....talk....talk...to her....sounds like you need to remind her that your body is changing but your love for her is not (if that is the case). Go to your doctors and take her with you so that your doctor can tell you both how you are doing health wise. Maybe she just needs to hear it from a professonal that it truly is a good thing! Good luck to you!