116 lbs lost and in trouble

bainsworth1a

You are doing great. Keep up the good work.

Why does she think you don't look good? do you need to buy some new clothes that fit you better? Do you have sagging skin? Try finding out what is really bothering her.

I don't know your exact situation but I know my husband and I were eating buddies and when I went on diets he would sabotage me and one time when he wanted to diet and I didn't: I got very upset.
Now he has lost over 100 pounds and I still have 100 pounds more to lose but we each had to do this for ourselves when we were ready.

I tell my husband all the time how terrible he looks when he doesn't keep his beard trimmed. It doesn't mean that I don't care about him.

IAmTheGlue

I truly believe that she is insecure. In my last marriage, whenever I started losing weight, my ex got crazy jealous. He was always trying to sabotage my efforts and literally said that his friends all said I was getting in shape to find a new man. Reassure her but seriously... do what you have to do for your own health and well being.

lesliewalker108

WOW. I cant imagine losing weight and my mate not feeling good about it. At 343 you were heading for a death penality. So its either your wife loves you for what you currently are or not at all if you were to pass away. You cant have it both ways. Maybe if you include her in your weight loss journey she might be feeling left out.

Wholelottaass

Maybe she's concerned about how "the ladies" might respond...?

tryitonemoretime

maybe it's time for you to find a new wife.

VagablondViking

That's an incredible feat of weightloss. I would hope that she would be happy that you are getting healthier (regardless of aesthetics) and cheer you on. Any chance you can make fitness something you do together instead of something you're doing on your own?

Good luck and stay awesome!

Marlene1667

Lots of good advice on here already. I agree - sounds like this is coming from a person who is afraid and jealous. I guess you have two choices 1)be angry with her -which will driver you further apart and move on or 2) understand where she is coming from - so help her to feel better about herself and more secure in the relationship.

penelopepittstopsmam

My sister is like this with my brother in law who must have been approaching 25 stone (approx 350lbs). I am incredibly impressed with his dedication to getting it off but all she can do is whinge and moan about it. My sister is morbidly obese too.

The problem's in her. She has a victim mentality that the worlds against her. And his weight is all about her. That's the way she looks at life.

I truly hope your wife doesn't come from the same mould as my sister as it's a sad life where you can't take joy in the positives or celebrate other people's successes.

From what i hear my brother in law is ignoring her. Thank heavens for that and I hope you can ignore your wife too. My sister & brother in law have a young son who needs two parents. He's improving the odds of him having at least one to see him to maturity.

sballgirl23

Maybe she thinks you would look better at 300+ pounds in a casket because you had heart disease, diabetes and/or any of the other diseases associated with excess body fat. She needs to get real with the situation and realize that what you have accomplished will keep you around a lot longer than the road you were headed down. You can't let anyone undermine your accomplishments, especially when it comes to weight loss, even if it is a spouse.

Jennloella

what if she's just into big guys?

gamesandgains

jkwolly wrote: »

ETA: I don't get these posts. If my spouse had a goal and was reaching it, why would I let my jealousy/insecurity hinder them? Insane to me.

Agreeeeeed.

gerrielips

Congratulations on your achievement...sorry that there's miscommunication and doubt masked as concern...don't know enough about your weight loss plan to know if is very different from what your wife/family are eating - not sure what the underlying issue might be, but hopefully you can find a way to discuss this in a calm, non-threatening way with your wife. Have you also been to your doctor recently for a check up to make sure that all is OK with your health now that you've successfully lost so much weight?

Rob_the_ToonMan

I lost the weight with regular exercise and completely changing my eating habits I think she's worried that I exercise too much but I really enjoy it cuz I ride a bicycle and its fun

Rosie5151

I am or went through this with my husband. We both started this together and since, I've continued and he has not. I've lost 76 lbs. He lost 55 and gained it back. He always told me he just loves big women.... well I was big to the tune of 300 lbs! Thats not big , thats whale! But he insisted. Now being a size 18, yes thats still big, he doesn't want me to go further..! Insecurities... I think on his part... but I'm not done. I'm not stopping. I dont want to eat what he wants. I stopped celebrating myself , my victories for him. Not to let him feel bad. All it has done is hurt me. I took it back and now things are good.
You have to recognize your victories!
SO hooray for you!!
She is just a bit nervous I' m sure like my husband. But I still love him, big or small. I love HIM!
Re assure her Like I do him. And in the end, she will come around.
He gets me now. He likes me now! HE likes what he can put his arm around... In time, she will , too!
WTG btw on an incredible weight loss!!

blankiefinder

Rosie5151 wrote: »

I am or went through this with my husband. We both started this together and since, I've continued and he has not. I've lost 76 lbs. He lost 55 and gained it back. He always told me he just loves big women.... well I was big to the tune of 300 lbs! Thats not big , thats whale! But he insisted. Now being a size 18, yes thats still big, he doesn't want me to go further..! Insecurities... I think on his part... but I'm not done. I'm not stopping. I dont want to eat what he wants. I stopped celebrating myself , my victories for him. Not to let him feel bad. All it has done is hurt me. I took it back and now things are good.
You have to recognize your victories!
SO hooray for you!!
She is just a bit nervous I' m sure like my husband. But I still love him, big or small. I love HIM!
Re assure her Like I do him. And in the end, she will come around.
He gets me now. He likes me now! HE likes what he can put his arm around... In time, she will , too!
WTG btw on an incredible weight loss!!

@Rosie5151 Great post, Rosie! Glad you managed to turn it around, good luck with the rest of your weight loss!

LuckyMe2017

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Be encouraged!

530roman

Congrats on your amazing weight loss!

FluffySandwich

That's awful and I'm sorry to hear that. To me it sounds like she's insecure about her own self image. It's sad but my mom even confessed to me that she was a little upset about how quickly my stepfather was able to lose weight. I suggest you talk with her and tell her that her comments are hurtful. You should be nothing but proud of your amazing accomplishment!

happygalah

Lonespar wrote: »

well I'm at 116 pounds lost I went from 343 pounds down to 227. sad thing is my wife's not that happy about it she gave me a 10 minute speech at raise volume last night about how terrible I look thin. I'm 227 I don't feel like I'm then but I am thinner......kind of discouraging

Is your wife overweight?

I like the idea about taking her to the doctor with you and having the doctor say what you are doing is healthy.

Lourdesong

Lonespar wrote: »

well I'm at 116 pounds lost I went from 343 pounds down to 227. sad thing is my wife's not that happy about it she gave me a 10 minute speech at raise volume last night about how terrible I look thin. I'm 227 I don't feel like I'm then but I am thinner......kind of discouraging

Tell your wife that, then. Not us. Congrats on your loss, but I don't understand why anyone makes a thread that essentially invites strangers to talk crap about their spouses after giving one side of the story, and in your case, one very vague side of the story.