Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D.)
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Wow, thank you all so much for your posts.
This has really helped me realize what's going on. My background is a bit different. I struggled with drug addiction most of my life, and have been clean for about two years. I assumed my weight gain was a normal side effect of a "healthier" lifestyle, but I've been noticing my eating habits weren't normal. I don't know what hungry or full means. I eat to literally feel full of food. So full I throw up, but then eat more so I have that full feeling. Stuffed. I just assumed I liked to eat. But reading through these, and seeing how similar my binging is to my using cycles - I am almost relieved. It's all the same. The triggers, the loss of control, the whole, the "I must go all out today because I'm changing tomorrow" cycle, then the guilt and it repeats.
I would have never said I have an eating problem. But I do. But I obviously have some deeper problems. I honestly thought I ate like that because I like the way food tastes. Or that I just had very little will power. I would read people's posts about having a bite or two of something they wanted and "fitting it in". I still can't wrap my mind around it. My head tells me if you have one, what's wrong with two? And if you have two you've already failed so you might as well eat all of it. And since you already "ruined" your day, you need to eat up all the foods to make it worth it because this is the last time you can do this.
So again, thank you ladies and men, because I really needed to hear I'm not alone.
This is me. Recovering addict. Been clean of hard drugs for 8 years now. But sugar, can't seem to kick that addiction or the binging. I can't do moderation, a bite or two of anything sweet sends me into a raging semi-conscious state of trying to forgave for anything sweet to eat. To the point I am sick. You ARE NOT alone!
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@newport3158newport3158 wrote: »
That's great! Are you totally abstaining or are you allowing some in moderation? For me it's usually an all or nothing mentality. I have to totally obtain from the processed sugar to succeed.Hearts_2015 wrote: »newport3158 wrote: »@Hearts_2015 that is freaking awesome! I'm proud of you! Now keep going just a couple days at a time commit yourself to it.
I started over today, today is my first day without a binge. I've been on a week long one. I just started thinking to myself "are you really going to make this a habit, is this how you want to continue to live?" Sometimes I forget that I need to take my own advice!
@newport3158 Today will be Day 7 binge free... thanks to your tips! The lbs have really been dropping too. HA HA Funny how that works when not binging. ;o)
Weighed myself this morning and have dropped 26.4 lbs! (yea I know sounds like a lot (and it is to me too)... but I have a fair bit to lose yet so my lbs drop when I don't binge, again, DUH! lol) WOW, sorta goes to show how much happier my body feels staying away from unhealthy foods. I've also really been keeping up with water which I don't tend do as well on when I binge.
Moderation? What? I'm not familiar with that!
No I'm an all or nothing as well... I mean I'll eat Trader Joe's 'Vanana' (banana/vanilla) yogurt (weighed out, same as everything) and it doesn't trigger cravings for sweet things but yea simple sugars? No, best for me to stay away from them completely.. to me it is like a drug. OK, I'll be honest to me it IS a drug.
Probably why I feel safer sharing in this thread than on the other threads as many of us would be under attack simply for being honest on how sugar effects our minds and bodies.
I do believe some can do it in moderation but not me, least not now and not sure if I ever will be able to??
Because when I do try I never know what the next bite might hold... I'll either be fine or that'll be the beginning of my binge.
Regarding salt and sugars, yea I have to steer clear... I bought a box of Kashi bars so I can grab one in a pinch if I don't have time to prepare anything in the middle of the day. Hm...don't think I'll be picking up any more of those... first off I'm not so sure they taste good plus last night was a bit rocky and I'm wondering if it was the bar from earlier in the day?
I'm so glad you're all here and sharing your struggles and triumphs... it means a lot, it makes one feel not so alone when you know there are others out there.
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Hearts_2015 wrote: »
@newport3158newport3158 wrote: »
That's great! Are you totally abstaining or are you allowing some in moderation? For me it's usually an all or nothing mentality. I have to totally obtain from the processed sugar to succeed.Hearts_2015 wrote: »newport3158 wrote: »@Hearts_2015 that is freaking awesome! I'm proud of you! Now keep going just a couple days at a time commit yourself to it.
I started over today, today is my first day without a binge. I've been on a week long one. I just started thinking to myself "are you really going to make this a habit, is this how you want to continue to live?" Sometimes I forget that I need to take my own advice!
@newport3158 Today will be Day 7 binge free... thanks to your tips! The lbs have really been dropping too. HA HA Funny how that works when not binging. ;o)
Weighed myself this morning and have dropped 26.4 lbs! (yea I know sounds like a lot (and it is to me too)... but I have a fair bit to lose yet so my lbs drop when I don't binge, again, DUH! lol) WOW, sorta goes to show how much happier my body feels staying away from unhealthy foods. I've also really been keeping up with water which I don't tend do as well on when I binge.
Moderation? What? I'm not familiar with that! No I'm an all or nothing as well... I mean I'll eat Trader Joe's 'Vanana' (banana/vanilla) yogurt (weighed out, same as everything) and it doesn't trigger cravings for sweet things but yea simple sugars? No, best for me to stay away from them completely.. to me it is like a drug. OK, I'll be honest to me it IS a drug.
Probably why I feel safer sharing in this thread than on the other threads as many of us would be under attack simply for being honest on how sugar effects our minds and bodies.
I do believe some can do it in moderation but not me, least not now and not sure if I ever will be able to??
Because when I do try I never know what the next bite might hold... I'll either be fine or that'll be the beginning of my binge.
Regarding salt and sugars, yea I have to steer clear... I bought a box of Kashi bars so I can grab one in a pinch if I don't have time to prepare anything in the middle of the day. Hm...don't think I'll be picking up any more of those... first off I'm not so sure they taste good plus last night was a bit rocky and I'm wondering if it was the bar from earlier in the day?
I'm so glad you're all here and sharing your struggles and triumphs... it means a lot, it makes one feel not so alone when you know there are others out there.
Wow! That's a ton of weight, lots of motivation too. Do you ever notice times of self-sabatage? Sometimes I notice there will be times in doing great and once I notice progress I revert to my bad habits! Don't let this happen to you!!
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Scott_Baldwin wrote: »newport3158 wrote: »Unfortunately this turned into a habit that progressed into adulthood. I still binge and my binges are pretty bad, and sometimes I over exercise to compensate.
I highly suggest the book "brain over binge" it's really a great book to helping discover the brain-body connection.
@newport3158 - Thanks for the book recommendation, I just ordered it. My wife is driven to binge when she has had a bad work day/week. I tend not to want to eat when I am stressed. However if I skip a few meals and get very hungry I get tempted to lean towards my trigger foods. I also have trouble when we are out somewhere and I can see and smell my trigger foods.
I have never purged but do tend to "punish" myself frequently by doing extra workouts--ignoring proper recovery times or optimal workout intensities. Not talking about going for an extra "evening walk" but being discussed at myself/body and after wife and I have already done our Insanity workout me going and running hard for 30 minutes at an average of 95% Max heart rate. I use a Polar heart rate monitor when working out. I have a lot to learn about my eating/issues and it will be interesting to see if any of the help related to traditional purging will apply to the way I sometimes over compensate/punish myself by doing extra exercise.
Both my wife and I have not binged since 4/15 :-).
I watched a documentary about bulimia once, the "experts" states that over exercising due to the extreme feelings from binges and the desire to rid the body of the excess is in fact the same as purging.
And this is the problem I've faced when I start trying to seek help from therapists and groups. While I don't always overexercise after binges, and I've never thrown up, I do feel the desire to try to overcompensate with excessive exercise and I used to do a lot of laxatives. I've ever drank icapacte syrup after a binge. But they see me fit and healthy looking and think "there's no way this chick can consume 5,000-10,000 calories a day for weeks at a time". I have had a lot of trouble being taken seriously, but I know I'm a binge eater. I think that now that BED is a recognized ED there will be more and more research and therapy type interventions for it in the future.0 -
GoodThymes wrote: »Hello! I am new to this website and have recently started to take control of my B.E.D. Are there any others on here that have dealt with this eating disorder that have helpful hints & tips? Or just a friendly soul to chat with occasionaly?
I need buddies too I'm going to beat this Monster any hints or tips would be awesome.0 -
newport3158 wrote: »Scott_Baldwin wrote: »newport3158 wrote: »Unfortunately this turned into a habit that progressed into adulthood. I still binge and my binges are pretty bad, and sometimes I over exercise to compensate.
I highly suggest the book "brain over binge" it's really a great book to helping discover the brain-body connection.
@newport3158 - Thanks for the book recommendation, I just ordered it. My wife is driven to binge when she has had a bad work day/week. I tend not to want to eat when I am stressed. However if I skip a few meals and get very hungry I get tempted to lean towards my trigger foods. I also have trouble when we are out somewhere and I can see and smell my trigger foods.
I have never purged but do tend to "punish" myself frequently by doing extra workouts--ignoring proper recovery times or optimal workout intensities. Not talking about going for an extra "evening walk" but being discussed at myself/body and after wife and I have already done our Insanity workout me going and running hard for 30 minutes at an average of 95% Max heart rate. I use a Polar heart rate monitor when working out. I have a lot to learn about my eating/issues and it will be interesting to see if any of the help related to traditional purging will apply to the way I sometimes over compensate/punish myself by doing extra exercise.
Both my wife and I have not binged since 4/15 :-).
I watched a documentary about bulimia once, the "experts" states that over exercising due to the extreme feelings from binges and the desire to rid the body of the excess is in fact the same as purging.
And this is the problem I've faced when I start trying to seek help from therapists and groups. While I don't always overexercise after binges, and I've never thrown up, I do feel the desire to try to overcompensate with excessive exercise and I used to do a lot of laxatives. I've ever drank icapacte syrup after a binge. But they see me fit and healthy looking and think "there's no way this chick can consume 5,000-10,000 calories a day for weeks at a time". I have had a lot of trouble being taken seriously, but I know I'm a binge eater. I think that now that BED is a recognized ED there will be more and more research and therapy type interventions for it in the future.
Oh boy... I remember the Syrup of ipecac, nasty nasty stuff.. Yea I don't know that anyone can really fully understand a 'binge' ..not simply overeating, but a full on binge unless they have disordered eating issues. I quit the purging and the syrup and the laxatives a fair number of years back and now have a fair bit to drop in lbs since quitting all that.
I'm grateful that I was able to stop all that but now it's like I'm invisible since I'm overweight. I used to love the feeling of being invisible it worked for me back then...I could see or hear ppl saying things but it was like I was in a fog or a dream state and never acknowledged what strangers would say so it's like it was never said. Least in my mind..guess it's what I had to do to continue to live in this world... stay invisible. Even though I didn't acknowledge it, it never really left my psyche or my heart/soul/mind, it ate away at them.
Words can do so much damage...the old 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'. How is that even TRUE? ... or perhaps it's a learned behavior when you become strong within yourself? As an adult now no longer in my 20 and 30's words aren't spoken much in rudeness, staring sometimes but that's not a big deal as I'm outgoing and simply say "Hi, how's it going?' lol Sorta turns into a conversation then.
Because then I'm not just a fat body but a human in their eyes. Wow, that sorta sounds sad... lol
Once I began losing weight seems I lost the invisibility and then got attention that I had no idea what to do with. It's freaky and even scary when ppl suddenly see you and comment, particularly guys. When guys would be polite I thought that's what they were being, decent and polite. Then lines got blurred and I realized it was not being polite but more a sexual advance..
aw... didn't mean to ramble on... lol Sometimes you just get into your thoughts and well, I'm grateful I'm not back there anymore. Moving forward now and finding more tools to help me through this as we can't go around it but must go through it to get to the other side.
So nice to see so many ppl finding this thread and sharing and that no negativity by lurkers or idiots has come about. I like groups but they can sometimes alienate a topic where as in a thread ppl can come upon it by doing a search or when it shows up on the upper left on the topics.
Day 8 binge free... feels good. Today was a bit rough, my mind was wanting a certain food. I thought for sure I needed something smooth and crunchy from the freezer section...it was nagging at me most of the afternoon and evening. I didn't stop at any stores in fear it would be too much to deal with.
Instead my mind got busy when I was doing other things and my Trader Joe's Vanana yogurt (it's got a really texture type smooth feel - and not a trigger food, whew!) and then suddenly ak mak sesame crackers came into my head. Thus my smooth and creamy and crunchy craving was taken care of. This isn't something that happens to me very often (being able to pinpoint, stop the thoughts (instead of acting on them) and then find something else. But I knew that if I ran and got some I'd not have one serving but the container and likely pick up other trigger foods because, hey, I was messing up so might as well go full force. I'm sure many of you know how that line of thinking goes.
So feeling proud and content that I found the mouth feel my mind was wanting and stayed away from foods I wouldn't be able to stop eating. OK, I'm WAY MORE THAN PROUD... it's incredibly exciting this happened, it's gives me great hope that I'm finding ways to beat the binge mode when the monster rears it's ugly head.
Warm hugs to all of you... each of you makes this thread what it is and what it's becoming... a solace and peaceful safe place to share. I almost feel I need to apologize for the length but I think this all needed to come out to finish out my day and then get some good sleep.
To anyone that read it, you're awesome and thank you.
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"newport3158
Wow! That's a ton of weight, lots of motivation too. Do you ever notice times of self-sabatage? Sometimes I notice there will be times in doing great and once I notice progress I revert to my bad habits! Don't let this happen to you!!
Oh yes, self - sabotage... I don't always recognize it at the time but realize after that's what it is. This may sound odd but sometimes progress feels scary to me.. I'm almost afraid of failing so I think I set it up myself so I can beat the failure that's sure to come. (these our my minds thoughts at times)
I'm glad you brought this up to remind me.......... thank you!0 -
I struggle so badly with this weight cycling my whole life I'm 20 and barely 5 foot. At my highest weight I was 115 and lowest was 90 (struggled with anorexia for 2 years) and currently I'm 105 and trying so hard to get back in shape but binge eating has set me back so far0
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Only have a moment but wanted to share a newsletter I get via email "Support for Binge Eating" . Someone on the forums shared this. I imagine if you Google the name it'll allow you to sign up, sorry I didn't see a place to share the site or anything.
Back with you all later xo0 -
thank you to everyone, I recognize myself and I feel less alone, it's hard to know that I have everything to be happy and it's seems like I spoilt eveything with always thinking of food, binge-eating, to more workout exercices per day, trying to have the control of myslef, counting calories, limit myself in what I can eat...
feel so depressed and alone even if i have two beautiful children and a husband0 -
I apologize because I don't speak English very well (I'm french)0
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Hi all
I have had these issues from time. What really sucks is it's usually to food I'm allergic to. So I can't hide it from my husband because it always tells on me.
He'll say ,"What did you eat that your having trouble breathing." Or, "The only reason your hurting right now is because you did this to yourself. "
I know he's right. My daughter chimes in with, "what if you didn't have your allergy medicine or inhaler would I come home and find you dead?"
And, "I wonder how many other kids hate having to hide food from their mother so she won't get sick? "
I have been binge free for a month now. Eating every few hours, constantly talking on the forums, taking walks outside, and I've been seeing a counselor for a few years. But I honestly still have hidden stashes of my favorites around the house.
I keep saying, "I won't eat it today." But the problem is I don't know when that day will come. Abd I am not going to throw it out. It will leave the house in one way only...My tummy.
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thank you to everyone, I recognize myself and I feel less alone, it's hard to know that I have everything to be happy and it's seems like I spoilt eveything with always thinking of food, binge-eating, to more workout exercices per day, trying to have the control of myslef, counting calories, limit myself in what I can eat...
feel so depressed and alone even if i have two beautiful children and a husband
Oh Hon, please never feel you must apologize for posting here, I can read your post just fine.I apologize because I don't speak English very well (I'm french)
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This is my first post to a forum on MFP. I am so happy to have found this thread. It's like you all are describing me. Hiding food and wrappers, bingeing while alone, sugar addiction--I have all of that. I've told a couple of people about my bingeing, and people laugh and think I'm joking. I'm not obese, and I'm very active, so people think I'm kidding/exaggerating. If they could see me they would realize I binge a few times a week. And the weight is creeping on because of it. I've put 15 pounds on over the last couple of years, actually I've lost and gained 5-8 of those pounds over and over. I lost 8 lbs in Jan/Feb of this year, and put it all back on in the last 2 months. I need to find a way to stop this. Thank you all for sharing your stories, it does help to know I am not alone.
Taking it day by day. Today is day 2.0 -
How many of you have food obsession-- thinking about food, etc? I notice I always eat too much in a group of people and my attention is on the food and I find it difficult to stop eating. Does anyone have any tips about this? And if I do stop eating the food keeps calling to me me.0
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today it's been 6 days since my last binge (3 days of binge). as some of you i'm quite thin so no one can ever think that I have problems with food, last time I saw my parents they told me that I was too skinny and have to eat much...
I'm happy to haven't binge this week but it's the week end that I binge...0 -
today it's been 6 days since my last binge (3 days of binge). as some of you i'm quite thin so no one can ever think that I have problems with food, last time I saw my parents they told me that I was too skinny and have to eat much...
I'm happy to haven't binge this week but it's the week end that I binge... keep at it! 0 -
This is my first post to a forum on MFP. I am so happy to have found this thread. It's like you all are describing me. Hiding food and wrappers, bingeing while alone, sugar addiction--I have all of that. I've told a couple of people about my bingeing, and people laugh and think I'm joking. I'm not obese, and I'm very active, so people think I'm kidding/exaggerating. If they could see me they would realize I binge a few times a week. And the weight is creeping on because of it. I've put 15 pounds on over the last couple of years, actually I've lost and gained 5-8 of those pounds over and over. I lost 8 lbs in Jan/Feb of this year, and put it all back on in the last 2 months. I need to find a way to stop this. Thank you all for sharing your stories, it does help to know I am not alone.
Taking it day by day. Today is day 2.
All you can do is take it one day at a time moment by moment.
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I have been on 4-day binge free now but am currently tempted to binge again. This feeling is so bad. I am telling myself that I can't, that is no good, that I will grow fatter while looking at ny hands. But the urge is getting bigger and unconsciously I think my brain is trying to persuade me that is okay. This whole routine scares me. the whole binge situation destroys my social life. I am afraid to go out and meet friends or people. I have been skipping school because I dont want to meet people and I am just in my room alone. The only place I go is the convenience store and the supermarket. I dont know what I should do....0
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@jessicalong1 I know that feeling, i am tempted to binge since two days, it's hard but everytime I succeeed not binging i tell to myself wow you did it, you are stronger than the monster (binge).
so try to congrulate yourself, evey time you fight hard not to binge and you don't binge be proud of you
have you friends who know about your trouble with food? can you find another thing to do when you want to binge?! personnally i take a shower or cooking dinner for my family, i do anything which can hepl me thinking of something else...0
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