Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D.)
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so. yesterday makes one day binge free. Today is a celebration day, so I'll be trying not to binge while taking part in delicious desserts and such (One of my offspring survived to legal adulthood today. Woot.) It's a balancing act. Going to try to be more honest about my logging and admitting my issues with food. One moment at a time.
I think I might be almost ready to talk to my psychiatrist about getting set up with a counselor that specializes in eating disorders. (The anti-depressant has helped, but maybe not enough. I have a follow-up this week.) I just don't want to say the words out loud, like that will make it more real, although the mouthfuls of Nestle White morsels and going through large jars of peanut butter and two small jars of Jam/preserves in less than a week (by myself - no one else was eating them) says it is.0 -
You can do it. The hardest part is the reaching out to someone. After I got it out to someone it was almost a relief, like the burden wasn't mine to carry alone anymore.0
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I made it through at only 16 calories over. Although the brownies I made for my son... Wow. I only had 1, although more called my name. I didn't even have to chew gum to avoid eating more. Today when I go grocery shopping though, I'll definitely have gum with me. It seems to help me not buy stuff that isn't on my list. Thank you guys for being here.0
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I made it through at only 16 calories over. Although the brownies I made for my son... Wow. I only had 1, although more called my name. I didn't even have to chew gum to avoid eating more. Today when I go grocery shopping though, I'll definitely have gum with me. It seems to help me not buy stuff that isn't on my list. Thank you guys for being here.
That's awesome Girl! Yesterday I hit the grocery stores for fruits, veggies, etc. I did great but the walk through Easter Candy Hell wasn't the most fun. lol It's like you're assaulted by it when you walk into the grocery store because they're trying to get rid of it this weekend.
So it's all jammed in displays before you get in the main store door and then again as soon as you're in the store.
I just tried to steel my mind and focus on picking up Halos and moving on from there. It wasn't as hard as it would have been 5 days ago so staying away from trigger foods is working for me! I hit Walgreen's for something and again with the bunnies and the baskets...UGH All I was picking up was some paper products and it seemed like chocolate bunnies were dancing in the aisles screaming out. Why must they taunt us?! 
So me and my paper products walked out the door bunny-less and I felt strong,0 -
I just started a vyvanse drug trial. For me, it's been working amazingly well. I never thought I'd go the medication route. Binge eating is so embarrassing and depressing. Then you have the "it's not real" skeptics. But it is real for me. This medication has decreased my urges to binge, increased my focus, increased my energy, and I just feel more in control of my life.
I still go to group therapy as well.
Best of luck to you!
@missyjg99 I've not heard of it before are you having any side effects from it? I'll have to look it up.
I do individual therapy but often wish a group was available as well, I think it would be really helpful for me.0 -
My apologies... I have a number of friend requests via this group and hit deny instead of accept.. I wasn't paying enough attention apparently? So if anyone sent me one please know that I've added anyone on here and it wasn't anything personal, it was merely me goofing up.
Please feel friend to friend request again if you'd like.
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So, I did not keep the streak. Today is a new day. One moment at a time.0
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I must say thank you to all of you who have been chatting about this recently here. Before reading the last week or so on this board about BED, I HONESTLY thought I was the only one that ever did this. It was like some sort of terrible thing i did. I guess it's a relief to know I'm not the only one. I don't think any of us really want to do this, but for me, it's kind of a relief to know I'm NOT the only one. Maybe there's some sort of safety in numbers?? It's been a few days since I've binged, very happy about that. All of you have helped me to realize that I'm not alone, so big thank you to all that have responded on these threads.0
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These threads are a huge help when you feel all alone and to know that there are others who are going through the same struggle everyday day that you are. That they understand you when your family doesn't get it. I tried to explain it to my husband but I think I have hidden it well from him. I binge when I am not around him or sneak off to eat something quick out of shame. He says but hun you don't eat that bad but if he only knew what I ate when he's not around but I try my best everyday and take it one day at a time.0
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believeinme0430 wrote: »These threads are a huge help when you feel all alone and to know that there are others who are going through the same struggle everyday day that you are. That they understand you when your family doesn't get it. I tried to explain it to my husband but I think I have hidden it well from him. I binge when I am not around him or sneak off to eat something quick out of shame. He says but hun you don't eat that bad but if he only knew what I ate when he's not around but I try my best everyday and take it one day at a time.
It's good you've opened up to him though. My family just thinks I'm stuffing my fat face and I should just put the fork down. If only it was that easy.
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Can binge eating run in families? My mom, one brother and 2 sisters are obese. My youngest sister lost all her weight on nutrisystem, but usually gains it all back. I am obese too.0
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I must say thank you to all of you who have been chatting about this recently here. Before reading the last week or so on this board about BED, I HONESTLY thought I was the only one that ever did this. It was like some sort of terrible thing i did. I guess it's a relief to know I'm not the only one. I don't think any of us really want to do this, but for me, it's kind of a relief to know I'm NOT the only one. Maybe there's some sort of safety in numbers?? It's been a few days since I've binged, very happy about that. All of you have helped me to realize that I'm not alone, so big thank you to all that have responded on these threads.
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It has been a major struggle that I only acknowledged a good bit into my weight loss journey. It was fine for a while now I have kind of brought it back. It is one of the least recognised issues but it is so so difficult, and frustrating hindering my weight loss. Love to be friends and help each other through it! .. A day at a time
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I binged on Sunday. Not an epic calorie amount as I have done previously, but I still felt out of control just the same. I let that 'little' slip turn into a reason to say "screw it" and just ate and ate. It's so frustrating! I hate that I do this but the option to JUST stop isn't there, or it doesn't work. If I could JUST stop, I would have by now. I find it all confusing and frustrating at the same time.0
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I binged on Sunday. Not an epic calorie amount as I have done previously, but I still felt out of control just the same. I let that 'little' slip turn into a reason to say "screw it" and just ate and ate. It's so frustrating! I hate that I do this but the option to JUST stop isn't there, or it doesn't work. If I could JUST stop, I would have by now. I find it all confusing and frustrating at the same time.
Have you ever wrote down what happened right before you go into a binge?0 -
Feel free to add me. I've struggled with this in the past, and though I still have infrequent slip-ups, I have it under control now I'd be glad to offer support! 0
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I binged on Sunday. Not an epic calorie amount as I have done previously, but I still felt out of control just the same. I let that 'little' slip turn into a reason to say "screw it" and just ate and ate. It's so frustrating! I hate that I do this but the option to JUST stop isn't there, or it doesn't work. If I could JUST stop, I would have by now. I find it all confusing and frustrating at the same time.
Have you ever wrote down what happened right before you go into a binge?
Yes, at times I have. Sometimes it's out of boredom and being tired, some is frustration with things, and stress too.0 -
believeinme0430 wrote: »These threads are a huge help when you feel all alone and to know that there are others who are going through the same struggle everyday day that you are. That they understand you when your family doesn't get it. I tried to explain it to my husband but I think I have hidden it well from him. I binge when I am not around him or sneak off to eat something quick out of shame. He says but hun you don't eat that bad but if he only knew what I ate when he's not around but I try my best everyday and take it one day at a time.
It's good you've opened up to him though. My family just thinks I'm stuffing my fat face and I should just put the fork down. If only it was that easy.
Yes i am lucky he is very supportive but he also thinks like your family then just stop. Like you said if it was just that easy. I love food that's a major problem because i don't know how to stop once i let all control go out the window.0 -
I can definitely relate! Please feel free to add me! Would love to support each other in any way possible!0
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tat2cookie wrote: »I have struggled with it my whole life. I just come out and say that I did have wls in January. But I still have urges, I just physically can't do anything about it now or I'll get violently ill. But before I had the surgery I was working on getting it under control. I started by making myself write down everything I ate during a binge just so I could see how much I was actually eating. 5000calories is what I was putting away in one of my binges! Next I kept reach of when I was binging. I noticed it was usually around 2-4pm. So I would try to go take a walk or get out of the house during that time. Next I quit buying stuff that I would binge on. No chips, candy, cookies, cheese, ect. It's not allowed in the house. Pretty soon if I had a binge attack I'd either have to do it with a head of broccoli and hummus or I'd just not eat cause there was nothing I wanted to pig out on.
My wake up call was one night when we got pizza and I was working really hard on my eating and only had one slice. When everyone was done eating one of my girls made a comment about there being an entire pizza left, we usually don't have any left. Then it occurred to me that I would eat an entire pizza by myself!
It's something that I struggle with every single day. It's help to know that I'm are not alone in this. Feel free to add me
I had the same realization with pizza, would eat more than my husband! I've been back on mfp for 28 days now and my grocery bill has been cut in half! I knew I needed to change my life style when one night I couldnt wait till my husband went to bed so I could get my secret candy out of the car and eat a family size bag of chocolate with out my kids or husband knowing!0 -
I was just officially diagnosed with BEDand food addiction. I suspected it for a long long time but never admitted it. I finally spoke to my doctor about my frustrations and she confirmed it. It has been really nice to read your posts and learn I am not the only one. Sometimes I feel so pathetic and weak and struggle with being kind to myself. One day at a time right! I'm just going to make sure I don't binge today! Please add me if you want mutual support!0
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Thanks to everyone who has opened up in this group
I've struggled with ED since I was 14. And in between my ED years, I have been known to binge. This last year has been really hard - I've been struggling with binge eating which I haven't experienced since high school. I think it partly has to do with the fact that I live in an apartment by myself. I'm a very social phobia eater - if someone only has one slice of pizza, I will only have one slice of pizza. But when I'm alone, there's no one watching me constantly going into the kitchen or judging me for eating except myself. I never knew this problem I would have until I have started living alone. I haven't binged since February but I definitely have overate (which still makes me feel guilty and panicky the next day). I found that not keeping the food like icecream and cookies in the house helps.0 -
I binged on Sunday. Not an epic calorie amount as I have done previously, but I still felt out of control just the same. I let that 'little' slip turn into a reason to say "screw it" and just ate and ate. It's so frustrating! I hate that I do this but the option to JUST stop isn't there, or it doesn't work. If I could JUST stop, I would have by now. I find it all confusing and frustrating at the same time.
Have you ever wrote down what happened right before you go into a binge?
Yes, at times I have. Sometimes it's out of boredom and being tired, some is frustration with things, and stress too.
Yes, my therapist said, BED is complicated because how can you stay away from something that you need to survive?0 -
I keep fantasizing about a binge and I know it is emotional. I feel so lost and alone right now and I would love to have some company (food). Getting through a stomach flu the last few days I really had to face why I missed food so much - it is guaranteed happiness to me. I don't have anything else in my life that makes me happy like food does. That is just screwed up.
People tell me I need to do more for myself, to take care of myself, but I have no time. I leave for work at 6:30 every morning and get home from work at 5:45 - then it is dinner, clean up, time with kids, help with homework, bedtime etc. By the time everyone is settled I either have desk work to do or I'm exhausted and go to bed. If I want to work out I have to be up at 5am - currently is not happening. My husband works Saturday, so I spend that day running around like a nut doing errands, laundry, shopping, cleaning so that we can have a family day on Sunday. I have a cranky teenage daughter, a clingy toddler that doesn't get enough time with me and a kind husband but somewhat of an empty marriage.
Go figure - as I'm writing this - I'm hungry.
Rant over.0 -
How long is your commute? I'm wondering if turning that into relaxation time (instead of worrying about everything time - I know, I get that way too) might give you some relief. Audio books would be good if the commute is long enough. I've been fantasizing about binging too... I can feel the food in my mouth, it is *kitten* annoying. But we can do it.
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I keep fantasizing about a binge and I know it is emotional. I feel so lost and alone right now and I would love to have some company (food). Getting through a stomach flu the last few days I really had to face why I missed food so much - it is guaranteed happiness to me. I don't have anything else in my life that makes me happy like food does. That is just screwed up.
People tell me I need to do more for myself, to take care of myself, but I have no time. I leave for work at 6:30 every morning and get home from work at 5:45 - then it is dinner, clean up, time with kids, help with homework, bedtime etc. By the time everyone is settled I either have desk work to do or I'm exhausted and go to bed. If I want to work out I have to be up at 5am - currently is not happening. My husband works Saturday, so I spend that day running around like a nut doing errands, laundry, shopping, cleaning so that we can have a family day on Sunday. I have a cranky teenage daughter, a clingy toddler that doesn't get enough time with me and a kind husband but somewhat of an empty marriage.
Go figure - as I'm writing this - I'm hungry.
Rant over.
I'm sorry to hear about your current frustrations. It sounds like your stressed and fatigued. Try going for a walk outside if its nice out to brighten your mood or find something that you can do for a half hour that would make you happy and relaxed - I'm thinking knitting, reading a book, a nice bubble bath, or something along those lines. If you really want to do workouts, you should do some free video workouts that are a half hour (not saying you have to but it could be a better option than thinking you have to go to a gym). Just take one day at a time! 0 -
I struggled with eating disorders and have it mainly under control but when stressed I feel the urge to eat. I started yoga ten years ago and that has helped a ton with my anxiety. My stems more from perfection issues rather than being overweight and it was a method of control for me.0
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Im struggling, i dont really understand why i do what i do, i was on a good roll yesterday, worked out in the morning had a good breakfast a good lunch snacked only when i needed, got home to cook a good dinner while i ran round tidying up, then i scoffed down some chocolate chip cookies and some easter egg chocolate that wasnt even mine
i feel disappointed and im tired of trying and i think of how much i need to be healthy and eat better but im just sick of it being such a struggle and so hard all the time having to count calories watch what i eat and how much and trade my snuggles in bed for getting up early and fitting in a work out. I feel like a lost cause and i hear people say 'you know it needs to be done just do it' 'its just food you dont need to eat junk' 'be strong' and i think why cant i just do it that way why arent i the strong willed person i need to be !! i dont know the point of this i feel a bit hopeless 0 -
You know something Envy, we're all different so we need to find what works for us. Like you I just couldn't stop and everything was so frustrating, especially seeing my friends post significant losses each week. It got to the point where I needed to step away from this website for a few weeks. I think you're far from hopeless, you just need to find something that helps you. What helped me was concentrating on one aspect of this at a time. I pushed exercise off until I got some semblance of control over my eating. I also stopped kicking myself when I failed. I just got up and started over again. A new day was a new beginning.0
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You know something Envy, we're all different so we need to find what works for us. Like you I just couldn't stop and everything was so frustrating, especially seeing my friends post significant losses each week. It got to the point where I needed to step away from this website for a few weeks. I think you're far from hopeless, you just need to find something that helps you. What helped me was concentrating on one aspect of this at a time. I pushed exercise off until I got some semblance of control over my eating. I also stopped kicking myself when I failed. I just got up and started over again. A new day was a new beginning.
This is also what seems to be helping me right now... to focus on one aspect and then as I feel stronger move back into my workout plan. 0
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