judged by your weight
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joejward95 wrote: »No, its not ingrained to go after a partner with the same skin tone (im not a biologist, maybe there is some preference. Ill have to look into it later). I personally am more attracted to someone who is Caucasian, maybe its a coincidence that I am Caucasian as well? I don't know enough to tell you for sure. But this is not what I was discussing. Dont bring up race to try and then imply I am a bigot of some form. The fact is that being overweight = greater risk at childbirth , greater risk of illness, implies they have a lack of discipline and care for themselves. Would you want to date someone like that? Because the for the huge huge majority of overweight people this is the case.
I don't know about you.... but I don't necessarily think of the risk of child birth, risk of illness etc. when I am dating someone, or looking to date someone.0 -
joejward95 wrote: »No, its not ingrained to go after a partner with the same skin tone (im not a biologist, maybe there is some preference. Ill have to look into it later). I personally am more attracted to someone who is Caucasian, maybe its a coincidence that I am Caucasian as well? I don't know enough to tell you for sure. But this is not what I was discussing. Dont bring up race to try and then imply I am a bigot of some form. The fact is that being overweight = greater risk at childbirth , greater risk of illness, implies they have a lack of discipline and care for themselves. Would you want to date someone like that? Because the for the huge huge majority of overweight people this is the case.
I bought up race is an idea that need to die. Which for the most part it has. It had nothing to do with you. Nice implying when there is no need to.
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LolBroScience wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »No, its not ingrained to go after a partner with the same skin tone (im not a biologist, maybe there is some preference. Ill have to look into it later). I personally am more attracted to someone who is Caucasian, maybe its a coincidence that I am Caucasian as well? I don't know enough to tell you for sure. But this is not what I was discussing. Dont bring up race to try and then imply I am a bigot of some form. The fact is that being overweight = greater risk at childbirth , greater risk of illness, implies they have a lack of discipline and care for themselves. Would you want to date someone like that? Because the for the huge huge majority of overweight people this is the case.
I don't know about you.... but I don't necessarily think of the risk of child birth, risk of illness etc. when I am dating someone, or looking to date someone.
I'm healthy, in case you were wondering about our future kids.0 -
First gut response; shallow guy.
I married a man who loves them plump. For him, the world is filled with beauty.
Subconscious or not, I would appreciate a man who can be a friend and also values the things I have to say. You know, intelligence, humor, wisdom.0 -
What I am saying is that it is subconscious. I personally am not attracted to someone who is overweight, this is the case with most men.The reason for this is because of the factors I listed. You can't choose what you're attracted to, you can't guilt someone into being attracted to you, the same way they're not an *kitten* for disliking you because you're overweight.
Why do you think many men like women with great hips? The biological reason is because a women with wide hips is better for giving birth. Me personally? I love good hips, yet I don't want children, but that doesn't matter because it is subconscious0 -
LolBroScience wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »No, its not ingrained to go after a partner with the same skin tone (im not a biologist, maybe there is some preference. Ill have to look into it later). I personally am more attracted to someone who is Caucasian, maybe its a coincidence that I am Caucasian as well? I don't know enough to tell you for sure. But this is not what I was discussing. Dont bring up race to try and then imply I am a bigot of some form. The fact is that being overweight = greater risk at childbirth , greater risk of illness, implies they have a lack of discipline and care for themselves. Would you want to date someone like that? Because the for the huge huge majority of overweight people this is the case.
I don't know about you.... but I don't necessarily think of the risk of child birth, risk of illness etc. when I am dating someone, or looking to date someone.
I am the same. Why think about those things when I'm not even sure that this is the person I want. Maybe I'm dating wrong.
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P.S. Set the shallow guys free to marry the shallow girls. They can tra-la-la through life until they find themselves old and wrinkly with nothing to talk about.
[Hubby's been playing Jersey Shore reruns on his iPhone. Gah.]0 -
I don't think we can help who we are attracted to. If someone isn't attracted to someone heavier, that's fine. It's personal preference. I'm not attracted to guys who are skinnier than me...
Different strokes and all that jazz. Don't let it get it to you.0 -
Do you think he was lying? Would you look worse if you lost weight? Honesty isn't a trait you're looking for?pineapple_peach10 wrote: »I've been there. Had guys tell me things about my weight. One said id be hotter if I lost weight.
It's true. I saw a couple episodes of My 600 lb Life.pineapple_peach10 wrote: »There is a good man out there who will love you at any size.
I watched My 600 lb life this weekend and was astounded at the dedication, support and love that came from one of the husbands. He loved her no matter what...women would KILL to have someone like that by their side.0 -
Have any of you even taken a basic class in evolutionary biology? Really? These are basic things people should just... know.Blame darwin if you wana blame anyone, you can dislike it, but its a fact.0
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joejward95 wrote: »What I am saying is that it is subconscious. I personally am not attracted to someone who is overweight, this is the case with most men.The reason for this is because of the factors I listed. You can't choose what you're attracted to, you can't guilt someone into being attracted to you, the same way they're not an *kitten* for disliking you because you're overweight.
Why do you think many men like women with great hips? The biological reason is because a women with wide hips is better for giving birth. Me personally? I love good hips, yet I don't want children, but that doesn't matter because it is subconscious
That not why I like wide hips. "I never heard someone say man look at her, she will be good at giving birth. NO :noway:"
You do notice you say great hips= wide hips=good hips. You shaming the small hip ladies? Or does biology make this claim?
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acorsaut89 wrote: »There is a good man out there who will love you at any size.It's true. I saw a couple episodes of My 600 lb Life.
Uh no - these people on My 600 lb Life are enablers at its finest.
They may "love" this person but they aren't showing how much they love them by buying them food all the time.
Ever notice how those are the most successful are those who begin to not rely on others and start making their own food and cooking their own things? Those who are not asking their partners and families to bring them food.
Anyone who is on My 600 lb life is more of a support person/care taker than a partner. And they may say they love them, but a lot of times they have stayed out of necessity because they know the 600 lb person couldn't live/survive on their own due to lack of mobility and inability to do many basic every day tasks like using the wash room, cooking, getting dressed, showering/bathing, etc.
Good points
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joejward95 wrote: »What I am saying is that it is subconscious. I personally am not attracted to someone who is overweight, this is the case with most men.The reason for this is because of the factors I listed. You can't choose what you're attracted to, you can't guilt someone into being attracted to you, the same way they're not an *kitten* for disliking you because you're overweight.
Why do you think many men like women with great hips? The biological reason is because a women with wide hips is better for giving birth. Me personally? I love good hips, yet I don't want children, but that doesn't matter because it is subconscious
Me personally, IDGAF about her hips.0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »No, its not ingrained to go after a partner with the same skin tone (im not a biologist, maybe there is some preference. Ill have to look into it later). I personally am more attracted to someone who is Caucasian, maybe its a coincidence that I am Caucasian as well? I don't know enough to tell you for sure. But this is not what I was discussing. Dont bring up race to try and then imply I am a bigot of some form. The fact is that being overweight = greater risk at childbirth , greater risk of illness, implies they have a lack of discipline and care for themselves. Would you want to date someone like that? Because the for the huge huge majority of overweight people this is the case.
I don't know about you.... but I don't necessarily think of the risk of child birth, risk of illness etc. when I am dating someone, or looking to date someone.
I'm healthy, in case you were wondering about our future kids.
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>Technically speaking it's still a theory.
Oh for the love of god do you even know what a theory is? Have you looked up the definition? A Theory is something that fit's the facts, makes perfect predictions and has NEVER EVER EVER had a single thing be able to disprove it. Take a basic science class and you will know how stupid the "its only a theory" claim is.
The law of gravitation is "only a theory" yet I don't see satellites decaying left right and centre. The theory is relativity is only a theory yet has been proven to immense accuracy and is used every day because of how accurate it is.0 -
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joejward95 wrote: »>Technically speaking it's still a theory.
Oh for the love of god do you even know what a theory is? Have you looked up the definition? A Theory is something that fit's ALL the facts and has NEVER EVER EVER had a single thing be able to disprove it. Take a basic science class and you will know who stupid the "its only a theory" claim is.
Sooooooo you're agreeing evolution is a theory then?
LOLOLOLOLZ0 -
I hate how we are judged by our size...it isnt easy being overweight and trying to date and put yourself out there. I actually had a man tell me once he would rather date an unattractive , uneducated, unemployed girl as long as she had a good body. sad but true
Normal . He was honest at least.
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Yes its called "The Theory of Evolution", technically it could be proved wrong. Aliens could be doing it all, but there isn't a single shred of credible proof against the current theory of evolution. I am astounded at the scientific illiteracy of some people.
The fact is you're misunderstanding what the word "theory" means in the scientific meaning of the word. Its not just an idea that someone thought up suddenly.Its something developed carefully overtime, with thousands of observations to support it0 -
joejward95 wrote: »Yes its called "The Theory of Evolution", technically it could be proved wrong. Aliens could be doing it all, but there isn't a single shred of credible proof against the current theory of evolution. I am astounded at the scientific illiteracy of some people.
Perhaps they lack discipline and self control?0 -
I have been on both sides of this - overweight by a lot and dating, and "normal" weight (athletic) and dating. I have dated men who weighed over 400 pounds, and ones that weighed 160. I dont have a personal preference on weight - I honestly like someone funny and able to have good conversations....
That being said... I have found that "like attracts like"... Meaning, when I was overweight, I tended toward men who were overweight as well - because we liked the same things (i.e I enjoyed sitting around watching tv, going out to eat, not so much any form of exercise). That is how I became overweight in the first place. So I was attacted to men who also liked to watch tv and eat out - because we could do those together. Had I dated a marathon runner who spent his free time hiking and hated watching tv... the relationship wouldnt have lasted long because we wouldnt have things in common we could do together.
Now that I am "fit" and athletic - I am the one who is hiking for fun, never really eats out and spends my free time doing active things. I am still looking for someone who is funny and can hold a good conversation with me... But I also want to spend time with someone, and I dont want to be sucked back into the couch watching tv all the time because they are not able to hike for 20 minutes. Its not so much I am less attracted to overweight men (I *truly* dont care about the physcial look of people), but I want someone who enjoys the same things I do. More than likely, that kind of person wont be terribly overweight.
Otherwise, yeah, he was rude. Simply stating "no thanks" would have worked.0 -
Do not get down on yourself. You will find someone who loves you for YOU! Not for how you look. Unfortunately, appearance is what we are attracted to first. I'm lucky enough to have met a wonderful man when I was overweight. He's my husband now...he's loved me at EVERY size. He knows it is what's on the inside that counts. You will find the right person. Just focus on bettering yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. Then the right person will come! Good luck to you!0
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It doesn't really disprove anything I've said because what I have said is biologically speaking the truth. Just because you wanted to marry someone because they were rich(ie, if you were fat in the middle ages you could provide),doesn't mean you have to be physically attracted to the person (see:gold digger)0
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In the olden days wasn't it a big thing to have a fat husband? Sounds crazy, I know, but back then if you were fat it meant you were rich. Women went nuts for it. I suppose this is a type of social Darwinism. Rich guy = good provider in some cases the same way strong guy = good provider in other cases. This both disproves and proves joeward95's theory. So go figure.
Funny how things change now. Was it evolution that changed it?0 -
You could say a form of social evolution yes, not biological evolution.0
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Think of these experiences as a weed out process. Was he rude? Most definitely. Does this let you know exactly who you wouldn't want to date? Most definitely!0
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Everyone has preferences. If someone asked me out and I didn't find them attractive for whatever reason (weight, appearance etc) I'd probably just be polite and say "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in you that way." I wouldn't tell them a specific reason because even if I don't like how someone looks, I wouldn't want to make them feel self conscious.
That being said, if a person is rude about telling someone they're not attracted to them, then that's just plain wrong. It sounds like the person you're talking about was probably in this category. Sorry you had to deal with that. Shrug it off, and move on.0 -
I hate how we are judged by our size...it isnt easy being overweight and trying to date and put yourself out there. I actually had a man tell me once he would rather date an unattractive , uneducated, unemployed girl as long as she had a good body. sad but true
Consider this a much faster way to weed out the idiots. Honestly, if you did have what he considered a "good body" would you want anything to do with him?! NO. I'm not minimizing your feelings and I haven't read all 2 pages, but just focus on yourself and whomever you are meant to be with will come into your life at the right time.0
This discussion has been closed.
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