Stop the "I wish" body envying

ninerbuff

"I wish I had her body"
"I wish I had her calves"
"I wish I had his shoulders"
"I wish I had his proportions"
"I wish I were taller like my friend"

Wishing for these aren't likely to come true for lots of people. Because if you're wishing, then chances are you're hoping you have a chance to have that body or body part you envy. Truth is for most (notice I said most)is that you're stuck with the genetics you got and you can only work with what you've got.
If you want an hour glass figure, but aren't built that way, wishing for it isn't going to happen.
Same if you're shorter than average, wishing for it ain't gonna make you taller.
You're dealt the cards your dealt, so you make the best hand you can.
Everyone is unique in their own way. That's what's defines us apart from someone else. So work on yourself the best way you can and quit wishing for something that may not physically pertain to you.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

KirbySmith46

Thanks a lot for squashing my dreams!

jennifershoo

But I wish I was buffed like @ninerbuff

LiftAllThePizzas

I wonder how many mean people threads this is going to spawn.

999tigger

Cant say ive ever done that. You do see people at the gym and think I wouldnt mind that and then I think how long it will take me. is that sort of aspirational target setting allowed?

ninerbuff

Hopefully not many because the reality is wishing for changes like these are just futile. Time spent on envying others physical attributes may make one feel inadequate about themselves. It's one thing if it can be achieved (like learning a skill, getting a degree, etc.) but another if there nothing that can be done to change outcome. Some just need to hear it. Time would be better spent on just improving on what body one has.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner

You will never stop me wishing I was as hot as JLo. Sorry but nope.

ninerbuff

999tigger wrote: »

Cant say ive ever done that. You do see people at the gym and think I wouldn't mind that and then I think how long it will take me. is that sort of aspirational target setting allowed?

I'm sure you've heard how some try to achieve thigh gap, smaller hips (width), much smaller muscle in legs, etc.
There's aspirations that are reachable (6 pack abs, more muscle shape enhancement, leaner athletic look), but there are lots and lots of people who will do exercises, diets, and programs to achieve a desired look that they aren't designed for.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jemhh

Good message and I heartily agree. I might admire another person's physique but I'm not trying to obtain it. Instead, I'm trying to be the best me that I can be.

SteampunkSongbird

Me wishing I had another person's figure has zero effect on you or anyone else, so I'll go right on wistfully wishing. It's in most people's nature to compare ourselves to others who are perceived to be better, and wanting people to basically 'get over it' is about as easily done for them as trying to push a boiled egg through a keyhole intact, and the suggestion is about as useful. It's great that you're so accepting of yourself that you don't feel the need to wish for a change, I envy you that, but you can't seriously think that saying 'stop it, it's pointless' actually makes a difference to the way the majority of people think.

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

Honestly, do you really think someone who says, "I wish I had her calves" just sits there wishing and not doing anything about it?

I wish for a lot of things in my life. Each step brings me closer to my goals. I wish for calves I may not be genetically predisposed to ever have, but I sure as heck am going to try.

ninerbuff

SteampunkSongbird wrote: »

Me wishing I had another person's figure has zero effect on you or anyone else, so I'll go right on wistfully wishing. It's in most people's nature to compare ourselves to others who are perceived to be better, and wanting people to basically 'get over it' is about as easily done for them as trying to push a boiled egg through a keyhole intact, and the suggestion is about as useful. It's great that you're so accepting of yourself that you don't feel the need to wish for a change, I envy you that, but you can't seriously think that saying 'stop it, it's pointless' actually makes a difference to the way the majority of people think.

Some people need to hear the actual truth sometimes so that they can divert energy to the actual effort and time they use to better themselves rather than beat themselves up for not measuring up to the people they envy.
When you agree or not, unless one goes through some serious surgery or enhancement of some sort (which doesn't always turn out right), the chances of obtaining the body or shape of an envied idol when one doesn't have any of the traits in common is ZERO. A female with a hips narrower than her shoulder girth isn't going to have an hour glass figure. Nor is a male with a bird chest going to build squared off pecs. It's not the fault of the person, it's life imposing genetics on that person.
The suggestion will be accepted by some and rejected by others. Putting out there doesn't hurt you or deter you from doing what you want to do.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves wrote: »

Honestly, do you really think someone who says, "I wish I had her calves" just sits there wishing and not doing anything about it?

I wish for a lot of things in my life. Each step brings me closer to my goals. I wish for calves I may not be genetically predisposed to ever have, but I sure as heck am going to try.

One of my good friends has high insertion points on his calves. They look like Shawn Crawford's here in the middle:


He was doing every calf exercise 2 times a week for over a year to see if he could change their look. Well they did get stronger and slightly more defined, but it didn't change the shape at all. Now he just trains them on leg day and accepts them. Shawn Crawford will NEVER have the calves of the fellow runners with him, but he did train to beat them in races. Point is, one works with what they have to get the best out of what they have and not try to achieve a look that they aren't genetically predisposed to attaining.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

aimeerace wrote: »

You will never stop me wishing I was as hot as JLo. Sorry but nope.

Of course it's your prerogative to wish whatever you want! I'm not here to "stop" you. I'm voicing on how to be more productive on improving oneself within the boundries of their own genetics.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Jennloella

I wish I had a flat belly.... and then I worked hard and I have one - after four kids. sometimes wishing is just the beginning.

999tigger

ninerbuff wrote: »

999tigger wrote: »

Cant say ive ever done that. You do see people at the gym and think I wouldn't mind that and then I think how long it will take me. is that sort of aspirational target setting allowed?

I'm sure you've heard how some try to achieve thigh gap, smaller hips (width), much smaller muscle in legs, etc.
There's aspirations that are reachable (6 pack abs, more muscle shape enhancement, leaner athletic look), but there are lots and lots of people who will do exercises, diets, and programs to achieve a desired look that they aren't designed for.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Cant say I waste my time with the unattainable, better to get on with it and make the most of what you have. Cant say my way of thinking has ever been anuthing but analytical and realistic.

ninerbuff

Jennloella wrote: »

I wish I had a flat belly.... and then I worked hard and I have one - after four kids. sometimes wishing is just the beginning.

Congrats. Your goal was attainable. Wishing to attain a body or look that one isn't applicable to was the point of the OP.
For instance, no matter how much she trains, eats, enhances,etc., Gweneth Paltrow will NEVER look like Kim Kardashian physique wise and vice versa.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

999tigger wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

999tigger wrote: »

Cant say ive ever done that. You do see people at the gym and think I wouldn't mind that and then I think how long it will take me. is that sort of aspirational target setting allowed?

I'm sure you've heard how some try to achieve thigh gap, smaller hips (width), much smaller muscle in legs, etc.
There's aspirations that are reachable (6 pack abs, more muscle shape enhancement, leaner athletic look), but there are lots and lots of people who will do exercises, diets, and programs to achieve a desired look that they aren't designed for.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Cant say I waste my time with the unattainable, better to get on with it and make the most of what you have. Cant say my way of thinking has ever been anything but analytical and realistic.

Then chances are you'll achieve what you're shooting for then.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

ninerbuff wrote: »

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves wrote: »

Honestly, do you really think someone who says, "I wish I had her calves" just sits there wishing and not doing anything about it?

I wish for a lot of things in my life. Each step brings me closer to my goals. I wish for calves I may not be genetically predisposed to ever have, but I sure as heck am going to try.

One of my good friends has high insertion points on his calves. They look like Shawn Crawford's here in the middle:


He was doing every calf exercise 2 times a week for over a year to see if he could change their look. Well they did get stronger and slightly more defined, but it didn't change the shape at all. Now he just trains them on leg day and accepts them. Shawn Crawford will NEVER have the calves of the fellow runners with him, but he did train to beat them in races. Point is, one works with what they have to get the best out of what they have and not try to achieve a look that they aren't genetically predisposed to attaining.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

So what?

fireytiger

Thanks for this, it's hard to not look at others and covet the way their bodies look. For me, I LOVE the way hourglass and pear shaped women look, and wish I looked like that so much. But alas, I'm an apple shape, and look top heavy. No matter what I do, I always will look like that, because everyone in my family does. But it's something I'll have to learn to love about myself, and thankfully I have a husband who happens to love the apples.

Grimmerick

this made me think of my grandma she always said " If wishes were horses beggars would ride and if wishes were fishes we'd have some to fry" Wise lady

I wish I was a little bit taller....... I wish I was a baller....... I wish I had a gi.....ah no nevermind. Come on somebody had to reference it.

melimomTARDIS

fireytiger wrote: »

Thanks for this, it's hard to not look at others and covet the way their bodies look. For me, I LOVE the way hourglass and pear shaped women look, and wish I looked like that so much. But alas, I'm an apple shape, and look top heavy. No matter what I do, I always will look like that, because everyone in my family does. But it's something I'll have to learn to love about myself, and thankfully I have a husband who happens to love the apples.

I thought I'd be an hourglass after I lost the excess lbs, turns out I'm more of an olive oyl type. Im good with it. we cant all me marilyn!

yourradimradletshug

Everyone wishes. It's just how it is. I wished I looked like my trainer. However, I know I don't have her genes so I won't ever look like that but I can make myself the best me as I can using that "wishing" more as inspiration.

zyxst

Oh well, I better stop doing what I'm doing because ninerbuff said so.

earlnabby

I know what you mean. Sometimes I catch myself wishing I had the body I had when I was in my 20's and looked my best. Reality quickly sets in and I think "nope, even if you get back to that weight, you have 30 years and a lot of miles on you". The bust will never be that perky again, the stomach never that flat (too much loose skin from years of obesity), the arms will have batwings. I'm OK with it though, as long as I am able to do what I want to do (hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing, etc) and wear the clothes I like.

TheBeachgod

Isn't this just common sense? Using someone as an inspiration, even if you know you won't acheive that particular look, seems harmless to me and may help someone to attain their goals. If someone honestly wishes to have a totally unattainable physical attribute they have some serious issues in dealing with reality.

tekkiechikk

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves wrote: »

Honestly, do you really think someone who says, "I wish I had her calves" just sits there wishing and not doing anything about it?

I wish for a lot of things in my life. Each step brings me closer to my goals. I wish for calves I may not be genetically predisposed to ever have, but I sure as heck am going to try.

Exactly! Every time I've started a weight loss program it's all begun with a "dream" of what I want to be. I've fallen down a lot of times, but I keep getting up.

urloved33

999tigger wrote: »

Cant say ive ever done that. You do see people at the gym and think I wouldnt mind that and then I think how long it will take me. is that sort of aspirational target setting allowed?

O yeah absolutely...picking out "models" works very well as does visualizing the body you want.

TheBeachgod

I guess 999tigger said what I meant, only more concisely. Carry on!

Alluminati

Tell that to Skee-Lo

skinnyinnotime

Personally I love it when someone tells me they wish that had *something I have* so stop telling them not to do that lol!