Jeeeeeese give yourselves a break!

antxoable

Agree competly!!!!i love treats and i can not stay on track over the weekends so i do my zumba calss every sat morning!following my TDEE -20% but i count weekly calories so over the week o eat 1500-1600 and weekends 2200 each day....finally i eat 12000 a week thats what i need ad if i go over coz i had a bday or so i just do a bit more cardio next week....done!!!
Enjoy life people!!!if u r helthy 80%of the time and do some exercice thats what all about, i am fed up aswell of people looking for perfection and getting to addicts so super strict routines and eating......

barbaratrollman

I had a BBQ last Friday and 2 of the 4 people there didn't eat anything. It's so rude, I wish they hadn't bothered!

You only enjoy your friends if they are eating? Sounds like you need different friends...or you need to be a better one.

No i hosted a bbq, and invited them, turning up drinking my beer and leaving and moaning they were on a diet....

so why take up on the invite?

So having a bbq makes me a bad person? *ahem*

Well, I missed this post when I posted my initial reply. I didn't see that they were complaining to you about the food choices you offered, whilst drinking your beer. LOL

kikilita

Ummmm! Wait a minute... A person should partake in foods you've prepared, even though those foods are not foods they are comfortable adding to their intake? I'm not on board with this thinking at all.

Do you expect alcoholics who've quit drinking to share your wine with you too?

As a host, when I'm expecting friends who have particular dietary needs, I try to make sure I include choices that fit within those needs, I've always thought that was what a good friend and host does.

I have friends who are vegetarians, vegans, pescetarians, diabetics, friends with celiac disease, recovering alcoholics, a family member with diverticulosis (Which can lead to diverticulitis), etc... If I'm hosting an event, I want to ensure that my loved ones who are attending will be comfortable and have food and drink options that fit their lifestyle needs and choices.

It sounds like she told them exactly what was going on, they made no special requests, waited til the BBQ (you know what you're eating at a BBQ unless you don't have a working brain), complained that they were on a diet and couldn't eat. She said if she'd known it was going to be a big problem, she would have just preferred to go to the pub as a group instead. She spent her money on the food, time on the preparation, sent the invites, the friends showed up and whined. I hate people like that. If I were the OP, I'd consider finding smarter/better friends.

kelly101386

Thank you! I am so glad someone has said something, I have **** like that happen on occasion, I just go oh there goes my calories and know the next day its time to do damage control. I had a huge roast on sunday and cake for my father in laws birthday, the world didn't end and I lost two pounds this week! People shouldn't be afraid to eat!

CarmenSRT

The only thing they did wrong was complaining about their diet. Seriously. Unless you're a plate creeper (watch what everyone else eats which is just weird) most people would not have even known who ate what unless they started the "Woe is me, I'm on a diet so cannot eat all the fab food!" routine. Long ago I learned other people usually do not give a damn that I'm on a diet. The smart thing to do is quietly eat what you can fit in and enjoy the company.

To the OP, some of us really can't just eat what we want for special occasions. Once the floodgates are opened it's possible to undo a week or more's worth of work. :blushing:

freebirdjones

It's funny all of my friends right now are going to the gym and on mfp and really trying. So I made asparagus in tin foil, cut up carrots, peppers and mushrooms in tin foil, bbq chicken and steaks, two salads, veggies and dip and cut up fruit. I even had cracker chips (18 chips = 80 cals) in case someone wanted to go crazy But we had no pop, just water and powerade. It was a fun time, we all ate well and we want to try to have a bbq once a month and it will always be healthy foods. For my gf's b-day instead of going out we are going on a huge hike and bringing wraps and veggies and dip. A picnic and hike is an awesome bday idea. We are having all kinds of healthy fun with our friends. I am also going to have a girls only night where we have some wine and make healthy dips we found off pinterest, will be a laugh. So you can have a potluck even where you have to bring healthy things, or make your own. Pinterest always has a lot of good ideas.
I myself eat "bad" foods daily but I know one bad meal wont curb my success, but sometimes just to keep the others quiet just make the unhealthy food on your own time and bring out the healthy meals when they are around to shut them up. Whatever some people are just like that.

Francl27

I would have been irked too because they still drank beer.

MyJourney1960

I agree with you on the whining and complaining, and really - a BBQ *is* about the food. It would be like being invited to a pizza party and showing up and saying " oh I'm on no carbs this week. I'll just have a diet Coke and sit here in the corner and kvetch". I'm sure the OP ius a gracious hostess who isn't expecting her guests to go against their beliefs, religion, morals, etc just to make *her* happy, but why accept an invitation to something that you won't eat?

No, I'm actually not saying that we have to give ourselves a break every other day, because as someone else said - there are always special events. All they needed to do was decline or give the hosts a head's up

climbamnt

Amen! Enjoy yourself and strive to a healthier lifestyle that you won't burn yourself out over in 3 months! If I want to eat at an all you can eat pizza buffet.....by George I will and I will enjoy it!

bcattoes

While I agree that everyone should have days where they just eat sensibly but don't count or obsess over calories, I find it a bit rude that a host would angry because the day she chose wasn't the same day as I. Shouldn't it be my choice what I eat and when? If eating your food is required perhaps you should include that in the invite, because I think it's natural to assume that it's not required and the invitation is still good if you simply want to come and enjoy everyone's company.

Sarah0866

The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.

Agreed!

haidos

I'm all for it. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

jen_zz

A simple way of dealing with this is : focus on the people and the conversations. "Living a little" doesn't have to equal food intake. The satisfaction can be from chatting with friends, enjoying the weather etc. If something looks appetizing, have a few bites, eat slowly and really savour it. It's not all or nothing.

traceytwink

Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

Not me. On Easter Sunday, which also happened to be my birthday, I ate a light breakfast, very light breakfast, then pigged out during my birthday meal in the restaurant later that evening. I did not go over my calories :drinker:

Nor me I eat when I want and what I want nothing is off limits I'd hate to live my life worrying over what I put in my mouth, I exercise hard (which I love doing btw) so I can stuff my face full of lovely food mmmmmmm????

WhyFlowersExist

Yeah im sorry if i dont want to ruin my diet because you "might" be offended because you cooked or you weigh more then me. Yeah I should be allowed to come and socialize and NOT have to feel pressured to eat all that crap. If its SUCH a inconvience for you why not ask your quests what they are willing to eat or offer to cook their food if they bring it, i mean really you would complain if they didnt come sounds like your upset because you slipped up and they werent willing too.

blondageh

HA! I just posted a thread asking what to do because family is coming in town and get offended if I don't eat their cooking. In regards to your situation though, I do think it is rude not to eat at all. If it was a BBQ of 30, then no big deal, it isn't obvious who is eating and who is not. But when there are just a handful of guests, fill your plate up with fruit and veggies, but eat something.

jwdieter

Most of the posts on here indicate people are taking plenty of opportunities to binge.

ninerbuff

Well done to everyone losing weight and trying so hard etc.

but you are all going to hate me for saying this............

I'm sick of seeing people whinging about family occasions, BBQs, parties etc and oooooooh what can they avoid eating during that time and what else shall they bring/maybe even turn down the invite?
Tip- go to the gym before and then the day after! Live a little for gods sake!

I had a BBQ last Friday, loads of yummy food i prepp'd that I cooked and paid for and 2 of the 4 people that were there......didn't eat anything because they were fussing over putting weight on ( they are the perfect weight and im heavier than them) its so rude, i wish they hadn't bothered coming!
I spend six days of the week being careful and working out so i deserve a treat!

I've been away from mfp for a week due to being ill and being generally too busy, and i actually feel better and less guilty for it!

Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

I'm all up for healthy alternatives but think about the Host on the other side, and life's to short!

Lol, I have a big family and it seems that just about every weekend there's a family event going on and of course food is involved.
I'm with you on this because I've basically stayed the same for the last 25 years (physique wise) NOT abstaining for parties.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

myofibril

You know, if I had to choose a social event which I would pick to go too if I was dieting it would be one of my BBQs: loads of delicious, well marinated grilled meat and fish, vegetable kebabs, home made potato salad garnished with spring onions, home made coleslaw, resplendent salads with brightly coloured leafy vegatables with pine nuts added to preference, elderflower fizz with mint to drink or booze as required.

You get to choose what you eat and how much but even with a challenging calorie goal you could eat and drink well.

Having to go to an occasion like this doesn't mean having to break your diet one iota. It's sad people think that is the case...

And yeah, her guests were rude.

projectbam

Yeah im sorry if i dont want to ruin my diet because you "might" be offended because you cooked or you weigh more then me. Yeah I should be allowed to come and socialize and NOT have to feel pressured to eat all that crap. If its SUCH a inconvience for you why not ask your quests what they are willing to eat or offer to cook their food if they bring it, i mean really you would complain if they didnt come sounds like your upset because you slipped up and they werent willing too.

^ Agree. "In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." - the Dalai Lama

LorinaLynn

I'm happy I have a lot of awesome friends.

Years ago, before I had any weight issues myself, I was having a huge party and I knew a number of my friends were doing South Beach or Atkins (it was new then). So I asked them, "Hey, what kinds of snacks can you guys eat? I don't want to exclude anyone."

The overwhelming response was, "It's a party, dammit! We'll eat anything!"

And I've applied that attitude to my own life, and it's worked very well. I go by the 80-20 rule. Eat well 80% of the time, and have fun with the other 20%. Even if there's a food-based celebration once a week, that's just one meal out of 35 over the course of that week.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I predict that this will not go well. Good luck, OP. :flowerforyou:

AllonsYtotheTardis

Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

Naw, there are plenty of us. We're just out enjoying life instead of posting about it.

Alison12121

The problem is that there is *always* a special occasion, and your friends were probably very worried about "backsliding". I know I am after all the effort that I put in. If you "lived a little" every time someone else wanted you to it would put you right back where you started.

yes but my point was why bother coming??? It was a waste and there are starving people around the world!

You just said that people shouldn't cancel their plans because of their diets. You should be able to enjoy their company whether they eat or not. As long as they're not being annoying about it.

If we ate just because there are starving people elsewhere we'd all be huge.

I agree. There's always something going on, so if I went to everything and lived a little every time, I'd be right back to where I was. I believe in moderation too, but I prefer planning my "live a little moments" myself and accounting for those calories because I'm more successful that way. I hate when people try to push food on me. You were careful to prepare for your off day, but maybe they weren't planning on having an off day just yet.

I also agree that you should be able to enjoy their company whether food is involved or not. However, I understand that it could be frustrating if you've put a lot of effort into cooking, and nobody is eating anything because they're trying to stick to their plan. However they're trying to lose/maintain their weight and improve their health. Don't you want them to be successful? Maybe next time you could have healthy options there. Or instead of food based events, how about planning more active things like hikes or walks together? I'm sure they'd like the exercise, and they'd feel supported.

langurmonkey

Hardly anyone that's on here can seem to ever enjoy themselves properly!

Naw, there are plenty of us. We're just out enjoying life instead of posting about it.

Also the implication is that you cannot enjoy yourself if you are calorie counting. I don't think that is very true - in my case it just makes me think a bit about what my priorities are for that day. I am sure we all know that the battle we are fighting is 90% a mental one, so anything that makes it easier to do the "right" thing automatically, without thinking about it is fine in my book. Adding an extra level of stress trying to work out of this occasion is "special" enough is something I can do without.

Jennloella

I agree, it also cracks me up when people start stressing about a holiday weeks before it comes. Like fatty foods aren't a problem outside November and stores only sell chocolate during Easter? How did people make every small, insignificant decision in their lives before they had MFP to turn to? And don't get me started on women in their 20's, 30's, 40's asking questions about how to eat or exercise while on their periods, like they never had one before.

StripedSmoker

Unhealthy food is healthy for the soul.

mandasalem

I'm probably a bad example because I don't log carefully on the weekends. I watch what I eat and don't go overboard like I used to, but I refuse to spend the only downtime I have pulling out the abacus and doing math.

KANGOOJUMPS

I know what u mean,

verdemujer

Amen! Some folks just have to go through the process though before they come out the other side.