Size 12 little black dress=Panic and anxiety
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coonhoundlove
Posts: 59 Member
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced the emotions I just went through.
In the last 15+ months I have lost almost 110# from my highest weight (SW-294, CW-185, GW-165 Height-5'10"). Yes, I have had to but new clothes along the way, but even when I tell myself I'm not a plus size woman anymore, I still gravitate towards and purchase mostly "safe", "conservative" fashions in sizes that are probably too big and baggy on my new body. Today, I met my best friend at the mall. We went into a store and she tried on an adorable little black dress and looked stunning in it. While the clerk was tending to her, I made the comment that I wished it came in my size. She quickly walked away to the sales floor and returned with a size 12 in the same dress. To be quite honest, I really didn't know what size I was, so I was a little apprehensive to try it on. Especially in a non-plus size store, which I have had to shop at for almost 10 years. I really didn't want to be embarrassed or emotionally crushed if I couldn't even get the darn thing over my hips. Reluctantly, I went into the fitting room and tried it on. I walked out to the large, 3-way mirror to get a better look. My best friend immediately hugged me and started to tear up a bit. I looked again at my reflection. The dress fit. Oh my gosh. Not only did it fit, but it looked amazing. I didn't have to suck my stomach in to get it zipped (thank you, core strengthening exercises and kettlebells), or need to tell myself that I won't look like a busted can of biscuits if I lose another 10#. My problem is that I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror. I started to cry. Tears of disbelief, pride, fear, amazement, anger (towards my former overweight self)...so many emotions.
I composed myself a bit, bought the dress, but couldn't forward to do any more shopping. I had to go home. I am trying to wrap my brain around this "new" me that I truly saw for the first time in that dressing room mirror today. Every rational, logical part of me tells me I should just be ecstatic and enjoy who I am now, but I am so overwhelmed with an array of feelings. I am feeling a little panic and anxiety because I don't know how to handle this.
In the last 15+ months I have lost almost 110# from my highest weight (SW-294, CW-185, GW-165 Height-5'10"). Yes, I have had to but new clothes along the way, but even when I tell myself I'm not a plus size woman anymore, I still gravitate towards and purchase mostly "safe", "conservative" fashions in sizes that are probably too big and baggy on my new body. Today, I met my best friend at the mall. We went into a store and she tried on an adorable little black dress and looked stunning in it. While the clerk was tending to her, I made the comment that I wished it came in my size. She quickly walked away to the sales floor and returned with a size 12 in the same dress. To be quite honest, I really didn't know what size I was, so I was a little apprehensive to try it on. Especially in a non-plus size store, which I have had to shop at for almost 10 years. I really didn't want to be embarrassed or emotionally crushed if I couldn't even get the darn thing over my hips. Reluctantly, I went into the fitting room and tried it on. I walked out to the large, 3-way mirror to get a better look. My best friend immediately hugged me and started to tear up a bit. I looked again at my reflection. The dress fit. Oh my gosh. Not only did it fit, but it looked amazing. I didn't have to suck my stomach in to get it zipped (thank you, core strengthening exercises and kettlebells), or need to tell myself that I won't look like a busted can of biscuits if I lose another 10#. My problem is that I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror. I started to cry. Tears of disbelief, pride, fear, amazement, anger (towards my former overweight self)...so many emotions.
I composed myself a bit, bought the dress, but couldn't forward to do any more shopping. I had to go home. I am trying to wrap my brain around this "new" me that I truly saw for the first time in that dressing room mirror today. Every rational, logical part of me tells me I should just be ecstatic and enjoy who I am now, but I am so overwhelmed with an array of feelings. I am feeling a little panic and anxiety because I don't know how to handle this.
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Replies
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Not something I have experienced but your post certainly put a huge smile on my face. Well done you xx0
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That's fantastic!!! Way to go!!!
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Great story! It takes time to adjust to being a knock out! Enjoy it and don't worry too much. Keep going and let the feeling sink in for a good six months!0
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This post (the OP) needs to be flagged for Awesomeness.
:drinker:
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That is so amazing!!! Indeed, when hearing of weight loss, its mostly all the celebration and good feelings surrounding it that is always talked about, but not so much this aspect of it... The coming to terms with that feeling of being in a completely different body..that moment when what your brain tells you and what you actually *see* comes together to make you totally aware of the reality of what you look like as opposed to what you used to look like.
Very emotional for sure, I dont blame you one bit for breaking down, that is such a HUGE moment in this journey!!! As time goes on, it will feel more natural, and you'll be able to totally accept that this really is, for real, you!!!
Congrats on how far youve come...and for sharing this!0 -
That's awesome!
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Great job with your progress! You deserve that dress. You just have to wrap your head around feeling beautiful in your own skin again0
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Love this story!!! WHERE is the "like" button?!?0
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Congrats on the weight loss!!! Great job!0
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I have not been there either, but accepting your feelings, process them and use the anger to assure that you don't slip back. Take these changes slowly, you might want to go replace your underwear (panties and bras) as that will make sure your new clothes will fit as best as possible. You have done a great job. Going with this friend who was such good support to shop sounds like a great way to go.0
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Great job and a well deserved congrats! This is an awesome life experience take it all in and enjoy every part of your journey!0
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Congratulations on your weight loss! It takes a long time to wrap your head around your new size. Your emotions/feelings are perfectly normal. Many of us, have been overweight for so long that we have an image in our minds of what we look like and it's a shock to see the real, new us. I know that I had the same feelings as you've described. I'm still amazed at my new size and even more determined to keep it. Eventually you'll adjust as you replace your clothes and get used to looking at the new you in the mirror.
Wishing you the very best.0 -
Wonderful. You described your feelings well! You are inspiring. I hope you wear it - why don't you post a pic so we can see it (on you)? It might make is easier for to wear it in "your world" after showing it to "our world"?0
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I want to see you in this dress too! Good job on your success! I've never lost a significant amount of weight outside of having a baby, but your feelings sound pretty normal to me. As humans, we tend to cling to the familiar. Even if we know, know, KNOW that something new is better and more desirable, it's pretty scary to get out there and embrace it. (And I love that you had a friend who knows you and your journey well enough to fully celebrate the moment with you!)0
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Congratulations! You should be so proud of your accomplishments!! I can relate because I just got a new mirror and can finally see my whole body at once. I don't even know who I'm looking at sometimes. It has taken me a long time to get used to my new shape, and I'm not even done yet.0
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You worked hard to get where you are and you deserve to enjoy wearing that dress! Congratulations:)0
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Congratulations on your weight loss! It takes a long time to wrap your head around your new size. Your emotions/feelings are perfectly normal. Many of us, have been overweight for so long that we have an image in our minds of what we look like and it's a shock to see the real, new us. I know that I had the same feelings as you've described. I'm still amazed at my new size and even more determined to keep it. Eventually you'll adjust as you replace your clothes and get used to looking at the new you in the mirror.
Wishing you the very best.
Congratulations. Quoted this post as I can't say it any better!0 -
coonhoundlove wrote: »Just wondering if anyone else has experienced the emotions I just went through.
In the last 15+ months I have lost almost 110# from my highest weight (SW-294, CW-185, GW-165 Height-5'10"). Yes, I have had to but new clothes along the way, but even when I tell myself I'm not a plus size woman anymore, I still gravitate towards and purchase mostly "safe", "conservative" fashions in sizes that are probably too big and baggy on my new body. Today, I met my best friend at the mall. We went into a store and she tried on an adorable little black dress and looked stunning in it. While the clerk was tending to her, I made the comment that I wished it came in my size. She quickly walked away to the sales floor and returned with a size 12 in the same dress. To be quite honest, I really didn't know what size I was, so I was a little apprehensive to try it on. Especially in a non-plus size store, which I have had to shop at for almost 10 years. I really didn't want to be embarrassed or emotionally crushed if I couldn't even get the darn thing over my hips. Reluctantly, I went into the fitting room and tried it on. I walked out to the large, 3-way mirror to get a better look. My best friend immediately hugged me and started to tear up a bit. I looked again at my reflection. The dress fit. Oh my gosh. Not only did it fit, but it looked amazing. I didn't have to suck my stomach in to get it zipped (thank you, core strengthening exercises and kettlebells), or need to tell myself that I won't look like a busted can of biscuits if I lose another 10#. My problem is that I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror. I started to cry. Tears of disbelief, pride, fear, amazement, anger (towards my former overweight self)...so many emotions.
I composed myself a bit, bought the dress, but couldn't forward to do any more shopping. I had to go home. I am trying to wrap my brain around this "new" me that I truly saw for the first time in that dressing room mirror today. Every rational, logical part of me tells me I should just be ecstatic and enjoy who I am now, but I am so overwhelmed with an array of feelings. I am feeling a little panic and anxiety because I don't know how to handle this.
Congratulations for a major NSV
It takes a while for your brain to catch up with reality...what you are feeling is normal..gradually over time you will accept and expect this rocking new you!
And be prepared for the first time you go out in your new dress feeling surreal
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Congratulations
I have been a customer for years at a specific small shop, where the cashier used to be this very obese girl, who dressed really great, with a really quirky sense of style regarding hair styles, accessories etc. One day, I returned there for shopping and saw a girl whom I didn't recognise, and I thought "hmm maybe after all it is the shop policy that all cashiers must follow some guidelines regarding hair and accessories." Then I looked again, and froze. It was the same girl, only less than half of her. She show me staring and she said "do not feel embarassed, the same thing happens to me whenever I look in the mirror, I think it is someone else, and then I end up grinning like an idiot for 10 minutes before I move on".0 -
Your post actually made me tear up. How amazing and inspirational you are!0
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