Distorted body image and need help

fitbell7

hi. Im 17 and i am a recovered anorexic... (Weight wise) my mind is still very screwed up and weight-loss obsessive. So I was starving myself from September to the end of November. Until I went from 130 to 89 pounds. Then from December to about mid February i binge ate.. Everyday. It feels like it's either all or nothing..from feb 22 till today (March 31st i had been eating very healthy.. Veggies fruits tofu and mustard and lots of gum. And no meat, or dairy. (My moms vegan and vegetarian and I started to be too) and At the least 300 calories and most 900. Im sorry for rambling but i just want someone who has been where I am now. I binged today. I had 2 bowls of oatmeal, 15 mallowmars.. 15 oreos, 2 bowls of icecream, lucky charms, 2 slices of pizza, a bowl of spaghetti, and a few bites of a brownie, three bags of snack size pretzel goldfish. It estimated around 3,000 calories. So i drank some coffee at 5:30pm today and I went on the treadmill and walked/slow jogged with an incline from 6pm till 10:45 pm. Burning a total of 2,230 calories (my treadmill may be innacurate it's so old it's my grandparents' old one lol) but anyways i do not know how much I weigh as of now my mom hid the scale from me since I used to way myself a bunch of times everyday. I think around 125. Im so so so sorry for rambling wow ... But i just wanted every detail to be here. My account says to lose 2 lbs per week to eat 1,200 calories but again my body image is very messed up that I can't even tell if im losing anything it is so frustrating. And will i gain weight from what I ate today someone please please help me. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS P.s i also suffer from depression and self harm. I see 1 psychologist and 1 psychiatrist (both every week) I am prescribed 15 mg of brintellix and 100 mg 3x a day of gabapentin.

elphie754

You have to be 18 to use this site.

FitOldMomma

Show your mom this post.

Merkavar

Back in my day teens knew how to say they are 18 everywhere.

RaggedyAnnazon

even better: Show your therapist this post. And if you don't have a therapist, get one, and still show them this post.

pineapple_peach10

I just want to commend you for accepting the fact that you have an eating disorder. Eating disorders and that patterns you are describing are extremely dangerous.

You need to see a doctor and get some specialized counselling as soon as possible. I'm not sure where you live, but google public health in your area and they can direct you to the appropriate resources.

krysmuree

You really need to deactivate your account and see a therapist and a doctor. We can't help you, and this site is only going to exacerbate your deeply rooted problems.

Go get help; it's okay to ask for help. Talk to your mom.

Tubbs216

You're not recovered at all. Do you have a support team? If not, please talk to your mother about this.

misskarne

A minor and with a major eating disorder.

You should not be on this website - what you do need is SERIOUS MEDICAL HELP.

denden736

you need to gradually up your intake so that your metabolism can readjust without you feeling too bloated or bad about yourself. I agree you should see someone, but since you're so young, i'm guessing its not an option or you haven't talked to your parents about this and are trying to go about recovering yourself. Once you get to to maintenance, i would stay there a while to try to build muscle so that you're a little healthier and can handle the calories you see as extra. Truly go and talk to someone and reach out for help though. me and my twin sister have both suffered with eating disorders and its extremely hard to help yourself alone when your mind is against you in so many ways.

fitbell7

@denden736‌ THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH I APPRECIATE IT GREATLY!!! And I hope the best for you as far as you and your sister's eating disorders go.

fitbell7

RaggedyAnnazon wrote: »

even better: Show your therapist this post. And if you don't have a therapist, get one, and still show them this post.[/quote

misskarne wrote: »

A minor and with a major eating disorder.

You should not be on this website - what you do need is SERIOUS MEDICAL HELP.

I can't tell if that was mean or not but regardless thank you for answering I guess. And because I have an eating disorder I cannot be on this website? I am trying to fix myself by monitoring what I eat in a healthy way. And I will be 18 next week everyone thanks

fitbell7

KrissyMuree wrote: »

You really need to deactivate your account and see a therapist and a doctor. We can't help you, and this site is only going to exacerbate your deeply rooted problems.

Go get help; it's okay to ask for help. Talk to your mom.

Thank you angel ❤️

fitbell7

Tubbs216 wrote: »

You're not recovered at all. Do you have a support team? If not, please talk to your mother about this.

Yes I do. And thank you for your caring response I appreciate it.

ebyla85

I hope you get better hun this place isn't for 17 year olds only 18 and older . And some people here can be a bit rude . I think you should totally talk to your therapist . Love your self hun because if not, the amount of weight you do lose you won't be satisfied with it . Wish you the best . Take care .

fitbell7 wrote: »

hi. Im 17 and i am a recovered anorexic... (Weight wise) my mind is still very screwed up and weight-loss obsessive. So I was starving myself from September to the end of November. Until I went from 130 to 89 pounds. Then from December to about mid February i binge ate.. Everyday. It feels like it's either all or nothing..from feb 22 till today (March 31st i had been eating very healthy.. Veggies fruits tofu and mustard and lots of gum. And no meat, or dairy. (My moms vegan and vegetarian and I started to be too) and At the least 300 calories and most 900. Im sorry for rambling but i just want someone who has been where I am now. I binged today. I had 2 bowls of oatmeal, 15 mallowmars.. 15 oreos, 2 bowls of icecream, lucky charms, 2 slices of pizza, a bowl of spaghetti, and a few bites of a brownie, three bags of snack size pretzel goldfish. It estimated around 3,000 calories. So i drank some coffee at 5:30pm today and I went on the treadmill and walked/slow jogged with an incline from 6pm till 10:45 pm. Burning a total of 2,230 calories (my treadmill may be innacurate it's so old it's my grandparents' old one lol) but anyways i do not know how much I weigh as of now my mom hid the scale from me since I used to way myself a bunch of times everyday. I think around 125. Im so so so sorry for rambling wow ... But i just wanted every detail to be here. My account says to lose 2 lbs per week to eat 1,200 calories but again my body image is very messed up that I can't even tell if im losing anything it is so frustrating. And will i gain weight from what I ate today someone please please help me. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS P.s i also suffer from depression and self harm. I see 1 psychologist and 1 psychiatrist (both every week) I am prescribed 15 mg of brintellix and 100 mg 3x a day of gabapentin.

LKArgh

Talk to your psychiatrist and your parents. At your next appointment, show this post to your psychiatrist. Good luck. And stay away from internet forums. Being depressed and stressed often can get much much worse by talking online to strangers and you can end up feeling much worse. Speaking from personal experience.

TavistockToad

KrissyMuree wrote: »

You really need to deactivate your account and see a therapist and a doctor. We can't help you, and this site is only going to exacerbate your deeply rooted problems.

Go get help; it's okay to ask for help. Talk to your mom.

All of this

NoIdea101NoIdea

As a recovered anorexic, I can totally sympathize. I also know that, as a result of, any sort of dieting can be dangerous, as it is all too easy to slip back into that 'mind set'.

I agree with everyone when they say seek help from your doctor and mum. But just a couple of suggestions which I have found to have helped me in the past in the interim;

Try and swap your unhealthy foods for healthy foods; sounds quite basic, but I found it had an impact on my state of mind too-because I was choosing to make healthy decisions for myself, it made me feel good about myself and about eating.

Remember; losing weight and keeping it off is a long-term thing. I'm also very impatient, and if I don't see results NOW I feel like a failure, and is one of those things that can make me turn to starving again. So, it may not be the way you want it, but you just need to learn to accept that if you truly want to keep the weight off, slow and steady wins the race. Celebrate a 1lb a week loss, rather than feel bummed out it wasn't 3lbs, and take pride in the fact that you are doing it the healthy way, rather than resorting to past behaviours. I like to think of it as, even if I lost .5lbs a week, that is still about 26lbs in one year, so it all adds up!

Good luck