Told off at the gym?!?
HeatherCanDoIt
Posts: 165 Member
I have lost 86 lbs and am feeling like a new, healthy, happy person. I am a better friend, daughter, wife and I am finally the mother that my daughters deserve. I still have weight to lose and I am working very hard at reaching my goals.
Today while at the gym someone that I have gotten to know came over to say "hello" while I was on the bike, she asked how my kids were and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away a woman working out beside me asked how old my kids were, (they are 10 months and almost 4). When I answered she gave me a horrible look and said "Don't you feel bad for being so selfish, spending time at the gym that you should be spending with them?" I was shocked, then she followed up with " They are so young, you should be spending time with them instead of leaving them god knows where and spending your time alone at the gym". She got off her machine and stormed away.
I have felt bad about the time that the gym takes away from my kids and I make sure that I go in the evening as much as possible and get in my workouts around their schedules. I also feel like me taking control of my life will benefit my kids for the rest of their lives and that me being healthy will teach them to lead healthy lives. I am a much better mom now and I have the energy to have fun and play. I was almost 300 lbs and I am sure that if I had kept going the way I was I would not have been around for them for long.
I just had to share this because I was really upset by this!
Today while at the gym someone that I have gotten to know came over to say "hello" while I was on the bike, she asked how my kids were and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away a woman working out beside me asked how old my kids were, (they are 10 months and almost 4). When I answered she gave me a horrible look and said "Don't you feel bad for being so selfish, spending time at the gym that you should be spending with them?" I was shocked, then she followed up with " They are so young, you should be spending time with them instead of leaving them god knows where and spending your time alone at the gym". She got off her machine and stormed away.
I have felt bad about the time that the gym takes away from my kids and I make sure that I go in the evening as much as possible and get in my workouts around their schedules. I also feel like me taking control of my life will benefit my kids for the rest of their lives and that me being healthy will teach them to lead healthy lives. I am a much better mom now and I have the energy to have fun and play. I was almost 300 lbs and I am sure that if I had kept going the way I was I would not have been around for them for long.
I just had to share this because I was really upset by this!
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Replies
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All I will say is hurting people hurt people. She must be in a bad place in her life right now. Try to let it roll right off your back. You are doing the right thing by caring for yourself.0
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You are right, you are doing this for them as well!!
Some people just don't know when to mind their own business and obviously has no idea the things you do with your family and time. People like that don't even deserve an explanation. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell on it. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. I felt guilty at first too when I started this, but a little bit of time away here and there is actually a GOOD thing for both Mommy and kids!!
So keep up the great work and don't let people like that ruin your days!!! HUGS!!0 -
#1 DO NOT FEEL BAD!! Every mom deserves something for thereselves and this is for you. Yes you are doing it for family to but if you are enjoying it and looking great at the same time THEN GREAT!! You can't be with your kids 24/7 and I am sure they are not God knows where. People like that don't know the whole story and pass judgement!! I say you are doing great and keep doing what you are doing. I am sure the kids are liking the little break from mom too (LOL)..
****GREAT JOB ON ALL YOUR WEIGHTLOSS**** KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK***
Try to not let what others say get to you, I know its hard!!0 -
Ok I will say it..............screw her.
Ok I feel better.
I can tell you from first hand experience............your being at that gym IS for your kids!!
When you run in the grass with them
When you get on a ferris wheel
When you walk around Disney
When you have two legs and your eyesight because your not diabetic
When you feel good and act loving because you feel that way about yoursel.
When you are around to see their kids, and their kids kids born and grow.
THAT is how much you love them!!!
DO NOT let one idiot...........scumbag................dirtscumbag..........make you feel bad. NO do not.0 -
WOW! I'm sorry that woman said such rude things to you. First off NEVER EVER EVER feel guilty for taking care of you. Having a healthy mom setting a good example is the best gift you can give your children. I think this woman must have some serious baggage and regrets in her life. Don't let her troubles break you down. You are doing the right thing! (PSST and your doing awesome too!
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That was really rude and uncalled for from that lady. She doesn't know anything about you - or that you work your schedule around the kids as best as you can. She doesnt acknowledge that improving your health adn mood is all part of improving their lives as well. I don't blame you for being upset. But try not to dwell on it. It sounds like she either has issues of her own, or that she really has no idea what it's like to have to juggle family, work, and personal time.
You're on the right track, it sounds like to me. Don't let her drag you down. xo0 -
Hey
Firstly well done for losing that amount of weight!!
Secondly - whilst you are at the gym you are getting healthier and also adding years to your life, thus being able to be around your kids for longer.
No brainer.
Keep it up!!!0 -
Oh, don't worry about her! You are doing this for your kids. I'm not a mom, so I dont know how hard it is to take time away from them to do anything, but bettering your life is a step towards all of your futures! You're doing the right thing, try not to dwell on what the mean lady said. Congratulations on your weight loss so far!!!
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Ok I will say it..............screw her.
Ok I feel better.
I can tell you from first hand experience............your being at that gym IS for your kids!!
When you run in the grass with them
When you get on a ferris wheel
When you walk around Disney
When you have two legs and your eyesight because your not diabetic
When you feel good and act loving because you feel that way about yoursel.
When you are around to see their kids, and their kids kids born and grow.
THAT is how much you love them!!!
DO NOT let one idiot...........scumbag................dirtscumbag..........make you feel bad. NO do not.
Mkay, this said it better than I did, so ... ditto. 0 -
I have lost 86 lbs and am feeling like a new, healthy, happy person. I am a better friend, daughter, wife and I am finally the mother that my daughters deserve. I still have weight to lose and I am working very hard at reaching my goals.
Today while at the gym someone that I have gotten to know came over to say "hello" while I was on the bike, she asked how my kids were and we chatted for a bit. After she walked away a woman working out beside me asked how old my kids were, (they are 10 months and almost 4). When I answered she gave me a horrible look and said "Don't you feel bad for being so selfish, spending time at the gym that you should be spending with them?" I was shocked, then she followed up with " They are so young, you should be spending time with them instead of leaving them god knows where and spending your time alone at the gym". She got off her machine and stormed away.
I have felt bad about the time that the gym takes away from my kids and I make sure that I go in the evening as much as possible and get in my workouts around their schedules. I also feel like me taking control of my life will benefit my kids for the rest of their lives and that me being healthy will teach them to lead healthy lives. I am a much better mom now and I have the energy to have fun and play. I was almost 300 lbs and I am sure that if I had kept going the way I was I would not have been around for them for long.
I just had to share this because I was really upset by this!
Pahleeeez! I know as soon that woman left, you've been thinking of all the snippy things you wish you could've thought to say to her right then. You are doing the best thing possible for your kids by taking care of yourself. Through your hard work and dedication they will learn a healthier lifestyle and you are able to give them a better childhood. You can play, wrestle and run with your kids that was probably practically impossible at your previous weight.
That woman was obviously bitter about something going on in her own life, that has nothing to do with you. You just happened to be the closest person for her to spread her misery to.
Keep on track! You're looking and doing great.0 -
I'm completely baffled by this, how could someone just randomly come to conclusions like this. She doesn't know your situation, she doesn't know anything about you. IMHO, don't sweat it, people like this are not worth your concern, she obviously has her own issues to deal with.
and yes, congrats on the loss!0 -
OMGosh! Tell her to go kick rocks! That is your time to destress and decompress. You are a better mom for setting a good example that health matters!0
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WOW!:noway: some people sure have gutts hey?
I think you are doing an amazing job!! Just remember that you are getting fit so your kids have you for a longer time. It's so your kids HAVE a mom. I'm proud of you for finding time for yourself, most moms struggle with that. You are doing great! She was very opinionated, maybe havin a bad day . . . there are all kind of people out there.
Good luck on the rest of your journey!!:flowerforyou: :bigsmile:
Keep your chin up missy! 0 -
You're not doing this so can get away from the kids for a while... you're doing this for your health so you CAN spend time with them... doing all the things you couldn't do before.
Don't let her get you down... you know what you've done and what you've accomplished and what your goals are.0 -
I am not a mother but I know two things:
1) That lady is rude
and
2) You're a great mother
You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your children. Congrats on what you've done so far and I wish you the best of luck through the rest of your journey!0 -
Okay, so what if you DID workout every evening to get away from the kids?
I know that If I had spent every waking moment with the 3 I have I probably would have gone insane!
I love them and enjoy the time spent with them but EVERY mom needs some down time.0 -
Mean and stupid people will always find a way to be mean and stupid. This wasn't about you, she just wanted to bark and you were there.0
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Next time, lift your hand up to her face and say, "Talk to the hand!"0
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I agree with other posters. You ARE being there for your kids by taking care of yourself. Right now I wish I could run around with my 4 year old more than I can. I'm trying to lose weight so I *can* be there for him when he is a little older... and I feel like I'm setting a good example for him of eating well and exercising too.
And GREAT job on losing the weight!0 -
At the risk of being redundant I'll add to the pile of support.
In order to be a great mom you must take care of yourself first. That's why on an airplane they always say "in case of an emergency put on your own oxygen mask before trying to assist others." If you you're not taken care of you can't take care of anyone else. You are doing the right thing and don't ever let anyone tell you different.
Congratulations on all of your progress you've made!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
All I will say is hurting people hurt people. She must be in a bad place in her life right now. Try to let it roll right off your back. You are doing the right thing by caring for yourself.
I agree. Especially for a complete stranger to feel it ok and necessary to judge you so harshly when she herself is at the gym... My child is only 1 1/2 and I work out 5 days a week, she doesn't come with me, it's my time to myself... it's a healthy thing and I think everyone needs it regardless of what you do during that time! The 2 days I don't go to the fitness center I spend with her and take her on walks. I grew up in an unhealthy household and struggled with weight my whole life, I didn't have parents to help me learn healthy living habits. I think what you and many parents on mfp are doing is great, kids=monkey see monkey do. Just b/c your child may not be physically with you at the gym, they know what your doing and see the results.
Brush it off, obviously she has an issue and is turning her anger towards someone she shouldn't or is avoiding her own issues.
Great job btw!!!!!0 -
Unfortunately I don't have time right this second to read everything above, so I may be repeating everything that someone has already said, but THE NERVE OF HER!! Really, you being at the gym an hour (or whatever you do) a day is NOTHING compared to THE YEARS they may have lost with you when you developed diabetes, heart disease, etc. and died from complications from either (hypothetically speaking, of course). I am IRATE about this right now. I cannot believe someone has the gall to put their nose into someone's business like that AND JUDGE YOU about trying to be a better person for your children. And then to storm off like YOU were the one out of line??? I am speechless.
What I would suggest doing is tomorrow, walk in to your gym with your head held high....as you should....and if you see that woman again, smile and tell her "My kids are out in the parking lot, locked up in the car, so now you, AND GOD know where they are!" and walk away!! LoL!! Okay, maybe that's a little spiteful but really.....BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!0 -
Omg!! I am in the same boat as you, I have 3 little ones under 3, and I have to go when my son is in ABA therapy, and I bring the other 2 with me to the gym daycare!! You are doing this for your children, that they will have their mom around longer, the same reason I am!! Ignore that woman, and be proud of yourself!!0
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Heather, while I was reading your post all I could think was WHAT!? WHAT!? I can't believe someone who doesn't even know you would pass judgement like that. That is so mean and hurtful! I think she must have issues in her own life to react as she did. Don't let it bother you. You have every right to get yourself healthy. Congratulations on your weight loss. You're doing a wonderful job and you're kids are going to benefit by having a healthy mommy. :flowerforyou:0
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Mean People Suck
. Try not to let it get ya down. There are parents in the world who ARE crappy but you are not one of them. This woman needs to get a reality check on what REAL neglect is and leave good people alone.
You have proof of being a good mother when you look at the smiling faces of your children and hear all the I love you Mommy s they give you. This womans words don't mean anything ! I wonder about people who accuse someone of hurting another person.. ..in order to hurt the person they are accusing.0 -
Wow! That is insane! I just want to echo the support!! I'm sure your kids will thank you someday for the time you spent taking care of yourself and being healthy & giving them a good example to follow rather than being bitter about the nearly insignificant amount of time (in the grand scheme of things) that you are away from them! Keep it up!!0
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Ok I will say it..............screw her.
Ok I feel better.
THAT is how much you love them!!!
DO NOT let one idiot...........scumbag................dirtscumbag..........make you feel bad. NO do not.
What she said... Except this was the nice version of what I was thinking...0 -
Eesh! There are two possible explanations.. she was having a horrible day or is just a random b*tch.. either way is NO excuse for that kind of mouth. I agree with everyone else, you ARE helping your kids by working out! SCREW HER.0
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Thank you all! Working out and being healthy is all new to me and I have felt guilty about taking time for myself so what she said hit me hard, but you are all right and I know that down the road when I can be at my girls graduations and weddings I will know that the few hours I spent on me where all worth it!
Hope you all are doing great and reach your goals too!0 -
I wouldnt feel guilty, you are doing this for them!0
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