The cost of getting lean: Is it really worth the trade-off?
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MireyGal76 wrote: »fwiw... I'm certainly not using any PEDs... unless coffee counts. LOL
Also.. I'd totally love to offer my body up for science, because I'd love to know what makes me so "unique". haha
I'm sure a lot of people would like it if the scientists could figure it out, bottle it and sell it for the masses.
I am nowhere near as in shape as you, maybe in the 20-23% bf range, but I also thought it the article put a lot of strange emphasis on how much your social life will suffer especially regarding food. I would say it depends on what your social life entails and I have seen some people with pretty rocking bodies on here eating plenty of food. If you are trying to get there by diet alone, then yeah, good luck with that.
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Just for kicks, you should record yourself (like with a camera) and note what you do for a week trying not to be conscious that you're recording yourself.MireyGal76 wrote: »fwiw... I'm certainly not using any PEDs... unless coffee counts. LOL
Also.. I'd totally love to offer my body up for science, because I'd love to know what makes me so "unique". haha
I did this for a couple of days one time because people were saying I was talking a bit harsh to my DD when she was younger and I was a new dad.
After watching myself, I was really appalled at how I actually spoke AT HER and not to her. Sometimes we don't see ourselves in the whole picture. Lol, a last recording of myself was by my DW and how much I ranted while driving (at other drivers) on the 7 mile commute to the gym. It would have been easily R rated for profanity.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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MireyGal76 wrote: »I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
Full disclosure, not lean now, never been lean, probably won't ever be really lean (shooting for 15ish %). That said, the article makes a lot of generalizations. Some of the points seem generally true but others seem like more of a reach. In the end it comes down to individual circumstances. You say you don't work out 45 minutes a day but are very active. Some days you eat roughly 1000 calories more than me but maintain your six pack (did a diary check). Me? I sit at a desk all day for work. Sure, I lift 4-5 days a week but what does it take to get the scale to inch down at .5-.75lbs a week (at 5'11" 230lbs 28% body fat no less)? 1800 calories a day. As everyone has said to me, your reality is not everyone elses. Count yourself lucky you're in the situation you are. Some of us are really struggling even though it feels like we're working just as hard. For my part I see myself doing the same things others do and getting less of a result and it feels like crap. Sorry you're having such an easy time being fit.
I hear your frustration, and I get that. I'm sorry that it is a struggle for some, and appears to be less of a struggle for others.
I may eat roughly more than 1000 calories than you.. but one of the big things is that I'm at maintenance now, which I figure is somewhere around 2200 cals. (I am 6'1", 165lbs). So when I exercise, because I'm not trying to lose weight (and am actually looking at wanting to gain a little more muscle), I eat back ALL my calories.
I was not complaining (as your point in bold seems to say) that I am having an easy time being fit. My comments were more tailored towards trying to make sure that others know that just because they see someone with visible abs, doesn't mean that they necessarily do all those things that the article says they do. I have too many female acquaintances who seem to think that in order to have abs, I must be sacrificing my children - and that is not the case.
But - I DO go to the park with my kids and we play tag, and badminton, and run around like crazy. I carry both of them around my back and run around the yard (and they're both over 60lbs each). I take them swimming and throw them around in the pool, or swim underwater with them on my back... I play with them very actively. I also have a two storey home with a big yard that I maintain myself, and live in the great white north, without a snowblower - so I shovel (some years a helluva lot). So while I don't hit the gym for hours every day, I am also not sitting on the couch eating bon bons all day long, rubbing my six pack and laughing at all the women doing the 30 day shred.
I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
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MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
But it's not.
Yes, I have visible abs, and visible muscles, and lower body fat. But I am also an active mom, who eats WELL at family gatherings (and most other times). I enjoy probably way too many processed foods, and eat a fair bit of junk food too. I do NOT spend my life in the gym. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, and maybe I'm blessed with some sort of crazy genetics, but it feels like it's implying to others that my body is the only thing I care about.
I want people to know that, in my case, I am able to be a good mother, and have a healthy relationship with food. I do not exercise 45-60 minutes daily, but I am very active with my kids.
I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
I think you're taking it too personal. I clicked on the link fully prepared to hate the article....and then found it refreshingly fair, accurate, and balanced. I agreed with almost every point the author made, especially about how both consumers and the fitness industry try not to shine a bright light on what's really involved in getting to the next level.
I'm trying not to go all psychoanalysis cop, but I think you might be taking the article as some form of personal accusation that you may be sacrificing too much or that you should feel guilty about the NotFitness life opportunities you may be missing. Like it's pointing a finger and saying "you have abs so you must not be having any fun! Instead of all that working out you should be mothering your kids! "
I don't think that's the case at all. Not in the slightest. Many people can find that sweet spot where they balance career, family, and personal pursuits. From what I've seen of you on this site I believe you're one of them. Giving up a slice of pizza isn't giving up on life just like leaving my kids with a sitter while I go to the gym isn't abandoning them.0 -
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MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
But it's not.
Yes, I have visible abs, and visible muscles, and lower body fat. But I am also an active mom, who eats WELL at family gatherings (and most other times). I enjoy probably way too many processed foods, and eat a fair bit of junk food too. I do NOT spend my life in the gym. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, and maybe I'm blessed with some sort of crazy genetics, but it feels like it's implying to others that my body is the only thing I care about.
I want people to know that, in my case, I am able to be a good mother, and have a healthy relationship with food. I do not exercise 45-60 minutes daily, but I am very active with my kids.
I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
I think you're taking it too personal. I clicked on the link fully prepared to hate the article....and then found it refreshingly fair, accurate, and balanced. I agreed with almost every point the author made, especially about how both consumers and the fitness industry try not to shine a bright light on what's really involved in getting to the next level.
I'm trying not to go all psychoanalysis cop, but I think you might be taking the article as some form of personal accusation that you may be sacrificing too much or that you should feel guilty about the NotFitness life opportunities you may be missing. Like it's pointing a finger and saying "you have abs so you must not be having any fun! Instead of all that working out you should be mothering your kids! "
I don't think that's the case at all. Not in the slightest. Many people can find that sweet spot where they balance career, family, and personal pursuits. From what I've seen of you on this site I believe you're one of them. Giving up a slice of pizza isn't giving up on life just like leaving my kids with a sitter while I go to the gym isn't abandoning them.
It's very possible, that I am reacting to this way to personally. It probably didn't hurt that I came across it on FB with one of the mothers of my daughter's friends shaking her head as she posted it, cluck clucking at the lengths of sacrifice that women go to in order to look that way.0 -
worthwhile read; thanks for the link OP.0
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I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I work in IT - I am at a desk 8 hours a day, and commute an extra 1.5 hours a day on top of it
On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep
After I get the kids to bed (because I'm a single parent), I am usually on my feet working until about 11:30pm getting the house tidied up and lunches made for the next day.
On the days when the kids are with their dad, that's when I squeeze in a workout, though I'm starting to try and get a little bit of a workout in when I let the girls play their weekend allotment of Minecraft (after they've done their chores)
*eta to fix "in bed" to read "with their dad" - sorry, had insomnia and all I can think of is sleep0 -
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MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
But it's not.
Yes, I have visible abs, and visible muscles, and lower body fat. But I am also an active mom, who eats WELL at family gatherings (and most other times). I enjoy probably way too many processed foods, and eat a fair bit of junk food too. I do NOT spend my life in the gym. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, and maybe I'm blessed with some sort of crazy genetics, but it feels like it's implying to others that my body is the only thing I care about.
I want people to know that, in my case, I am able to be a good mother, and have a healthy relationship with food. I do not exercise 45-60 minutes daily, but I am very active with my kids.
I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
I think you're taking it too personal. I clicked on the link fully prepared to hate the article....and then found it refreshingly fair, accurate, and balanced. I agreed with almost every point the author made, especially about how both consumers and the fitness industry try not to shine a bright light on what's really involved in getting to the next level.
I'm trying not to go all psychoanalysis cop, but I think you might be taking the article as some form of personal accusation that you may be sacrificing too much or that you should feel guilty about the NotFitness life opportunities you may be missing. Like it's pointing a finger and saying "you have abs so you must not be having any fun! Instead of all that working out you should be mothering your kids! "
I don't think that's the case at all. Not in the slightest. Many people can find that sweet spot where they balance career, family, and personal pursuits. From what I've seen of you on this site I believe you're one of them. Giving up a slice of pizza isn't giving up on life just like leaving my kids with a sitter while I go to the gym isn't abandoning them.
It's very possible, that I am reacting to this way to personally. It probably didn't hurt that I came across it on FB with one of the mothers of my daughter's friends shaking her head as she posted it, cluck clucking at the lengths of sacrifice that women go to in order to look that way.
Oh dear. All you can do is keep on rockin'.....
:drinker:0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
But it's not.
Yes, I have visible abs, and visible muscles, and lower body fat. But I am also an active mom, who eats WELL at family gatherings (and most other times). I enjoy probably way too many processed foods, and eat a fair bit of junk food too. I do NOT spend my life in the gym. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, and maybe I'm blessed with some sort of crazy genetics, but it feels like it's implying to others that my body is the only thing I care about.
I want people to know that, in my case, I am able to be a good mother, and have a healthy relationship with food. I do not exercise 45-60 minutes daily, but I am very active with my kids.
I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
I think you're taking it too personal. I clicked on the link fully prepared to hate the article....and then found it refreshingly fair, accurate, and balanced. I agreed with almost every point the author made, especially about how both consumers and the fitness industry try not to shine a bright light on what's really involved in getting to the next level.
I'm trying not to go all psychoanalysis cop, but I think you might be taking the article as some form of personal accusation that you may be sacrificing too much or that you should feel guilty about the NotFitness life opportunities you may be missing. Like it's pointing a finger and saying "you have abs so you must not be having any fun! Instead of all that working out you should be mothering your kids! "
I don't think that's the case at all. Not in the slightest. Many people can find that sweet spot where they balance career, family, and personal pursuits. From what I've seen of you on this site I believe you're one of them. Giving up a slice of pizza isn't giving up on life just like leaving my kids with a sitter while I go to the gym isn't abandoning them.
It's very possible, that I am reacting to this way to personally. It probably didn't hurt that I came across it on FB with one of the mothers of my daughter's friends shaking her head as she posted it, cluck clucking at the lengths of sacrifice that women go to in order to look that way.
Whatevs for anything ever on FB. And people in general find a way to look down their nose at anyone that's different from them. Doesn't even matter which direction. Use heroin? You're terrible because you're a drug addict. Don't drink? You're terrible because you're no fun/religious/uppity.
They don't know your life. And one person's sacrifice/struggle is another person's easy peasy. It takes almost no effort for me to get stronger, but it's a mind bending act of will for me to put the pizza down. others struggle to get stronger, but it's the easiest thing in the world for them to say no to oreos. We'll each have to work really hard to achieve our goal, me to budget my calories and them to work harder in the gym. Different struggle is different, but it's still damned hard work.
But then there's that third type, that doesn't actually try to achieve anything beyond ordinary, but is quick to make a derogatory comment or post about those that do. I can't even hear those people.0 -
I think the article makes some pretty big generalizations. I have been lean and I have been fat. The fat part took no effort. Losing the first 10 pounds was actually more of a struggle than losing the last 10. It took more effort to get started than it did to make the small adjustments to get very lean.
I did take some issue with what they said about the costs of being lean. I think I probably just found it more offensive than others because it suggests that our quality of life is lower and we give up so much just to be lean. They don't take into account that the gym isn't "punishment" or a burden and often the gym is our hobby or main interest. The gym is where I relax and find peace/balance for my life. When it comes to eating I feel more balanced when I meal prep and plan ahead. I don't obsess over being perfect or eating clean, so there is no disordered eating on my end (the assumptions of how we eat is off the wall ridiculous and highly offensive).0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I work in IT - I am at a desk 8 hours a day, and commute an extra 1.5 hours a day on top of it
On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep
After I get the kids to bed (because I'm a single parent), I am usually on my feet working until about 11:30pm getting the house tidied up and lunches made for the next day.
On the days when the kids are in with their dad, that's when I squeeze in a workout, though I'm starting to try and get a little bit of a workout in when I let the girls play their weekend allotment of Minecraft (after they've done their chores)
*eta to fix "in bed" to read "with their dad" - sorry, had insomnia and all I can think of is sleep
I do sleep more. 8 hours usually. I don't know where the discrepancy is then other than that. You see this a lot with fit people to. The same way some overestimate their activity others maybe under estimate it. Whatever it is it's the thing I've asked people to try to explain to me on multiple occasions but no one can come up with a logical answer. I really do feel like I'm doing the same things most people swear they're doing only they're getting better results. As usual it simply doesn't make sense. I see all these people swearing they don't work out that much who are ripped and I have to wonder what they're actually doing different than me then. Anyone? Explanations?
Did you go to the doctor yet like you've been told countless times in numerous threads?0 -
LolBroScience wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I work in IT - I am at a desk 8 hours a day, and commute an extra 1.5 hours a day on top of it
On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep
After I get the kids to bed (because I'm a single parent), I am usually on my feet working until about 11:30pm getting the house tidied up and lunches made for the next day.
On the days when the kids are in with their dad, that's when I squeeze in a workout, though I'm starting to try and get a little bit of a workout in when I let the girls play their weekend allotment of Minecraft (after they've done their chores)
*eta to fix "in bed" to read "with their dad" - sorry, had insomnia and all I can think of is sleep
I do sleep more. 8 hours usually. I don't know where the discrepancy is then other than that. You see this a lot with fit people to. The same way some overestimate their activity others maybe under estimate it. Whatever it is it's the thing I've asked people to try to explain to me on multiple occasions but no one can come up with a logical answer. I really do feel like I'm doing the same things most people swear they're doing only they're getting better results. As usual it simply doesn't make sense. I see all these people swearing they don't work out that much who are ripped and I have to wonder what they're actually doing different than me then. Anyone? Explanations?
Did you go to the doctor yet like you've been told countless times in numerous threads?
^This. You ask the same questions over and over, but you don't seem to want to take the major suggestion that could get to the bottom of it. See your doctor. Get blood work done. Stop hijacking threads.0 -
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone very fit who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I dunno, kinda feels like you're making excuses or pointing fingers or.....something.
There are very fit people that work sedentary jobs. Just like there are fat day laborers.
"I eat all the foods" doesn't mean the person eats them all day long, every day of the week. Example: Here's my lunch from yesterday.
Monster calorie bomb, but my breakfast and dinner were extremely light.
I don't believe the OP was complaining about how easy it is for her to be fit-because it's not. She works hard as hell for hers.
It's not a sacrifice for some people. It's a sacrifice for ALL people. Just different. Or not different. Some people just don't whine the way I do when they can't eat an entire pizza. Just because someone isn't putting in the same exact effort as you doesn't mean they aren't putting in the same level (or greater) of effort0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I work in IT - I am at a desk 8 hours a day, and commute an extra 1.5 hours a day on top of it
On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep
After I get the kids to bed (because I'm a single parent), I am usually on my feet working until about 11:30pm getting the house tidied up and lunches made for the next day.
On the days when the kids are in with their dad, that's when I squeeze in a workout, though I'm starting to try and get a little bit of a workout in when I let the girls play their weekend allotment of Minecraft (after they've done their chores)
*eta to fix "in bed" to read "with their dad" - sorry, had insomnia and all I can think of is sleep
I do sleep more. 8 hours usually. I don't know where the discrepancy is then other than that. You see this a lot with fit people to. The same way some overestimate their activity others maybe under estimate it. Whatever it is it's the thing I've asked people to try to explain to me on multiple occasions but no one can come up with a logical answer. I really do feel like I'm doing the same things most people swear they're doing only they're getting better results. As usual it simply doesn't make sense. I see all these people swearing they don't work out that much who are ripped and I have to wonder what they're actually doing different than me then. Anyone? Explanations?
We don't all have the same levels of all relevant hormones or the same receptor sensitivities to those hormones. So it's only realistic to expect variation in results between people whose efforts/activities are identical.0 -
[/quote]
Whatevs for anything ever on FB. And people in general find a way to look down their nose at anyone that's different from them. Doesn't even matter which direction. Use heroin? You're terrible because you're a drug addict. Don't drink? You're terrible because you're no fun/religious/uppity.
They don't know your life. And one person's sacrifice/struggle is another person's easy peasy. It takes almost no effort for me to get stronger, but it's a mind bending act of will for me to put the pizza down. others struggle to get stronger, but it's the easiest thing in the world for them to say no to oreos. We'll each have to work really hard to achieve our goal, me to budget my calories and them to work harder in the gym. Different struggle is different, but it's still damned hard work.
But then there's that third type, that doesn't actually try to achieve anything beyond ordinary, but is quick to make a derogatory comment or post about those that do. I can't even hear those people. [/quote]
Words of wisdom here.
All I have to add is:
Some people suck. But don't let their negativity become your burden.
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I think the article makes some pretty big generalizations. I have been lean and I have been fat. The fat part took no effort. Losing the first 10 pounds was actually more of a struggle than losing the last 10. It took more effort to get started than it did to make the small adjustments to get very lean.
I did take some issue with what they said about the costs of being lean. I think I probably just found it more offensive than others because it suggests that our quality of life is lower and we give up so much just to be lean. They don't take into account that the gym isn't "punishment" or a burden and often the gym is our hobby or main interest. The gym is where I relax and find peace/balance for my life. When it comes to eating I feel more balanced when I meal prep and plan ahead. I don't obsess over being perfect or eating clean, so there is no disordered eating on my end (the assumptions of how we eat is off the wall ridiculous and highly offensive).
I felt the article had a similar...umm...bias (soft bias, but bias, nonetheless). The whopping 45 minutes I spend working out daily is no burden whatsoever. I enjoy it, and it doesn't interfere with my family/work life balance. I very well could spend that 45 minutes doing my hair, coordinating my outfit, applying makeup, etc.--the lovely things that bring other women joy/relaxation and make them well put-together people. But I find those things tortuous and burdensome. So I do not do that (to that extent)--and I don't complain or write a blog describing the burden of the responsibility of a well-dressed woman simply because I don't want to/can't be like that.
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I think you missed all the qualifiers in their statements, and they were everywhere. Pretty much everything was prefaced with "may" or "might."I think the article makes some pretty big generalizations. I have been lean and I have been fat. The fat part took no effort. Losing the first 10 pounds was actually more of a struggle than losing the last 10. It took more effort to get started than it did to make the small adjustments to get very lean.
I did take some issue with what they said about the costs of being lean. I think I probably just found it more offensive than others because it suggests that our quality of life is lower and we give up so much just to be lean. They don't take into account that the gym isn't "punishment" or a burden and often the gym is our hobby or main interest. The gym is where I relax and find peace/balance for my life. When it comes to eating I feel more balanced when I meal prep and plan ahead. I don't obsess over being perfect or eating clean, so there is no disordered eating on my end (the assumptions of how we eat is off the wall ridiculous and highly offensive).
I didn't see gym/exercise being painted as punishment. It said that may crowd out other interests/pursuits. So if anything it painted it as an interest or pursuit.
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How is it making excuses? I do the work. I weigh and measure my food and I put in 4-5 days a week lifting. That's the point I'm making. I'm saying some of us do the same work and don't get the same result. The OP is basically complaining about how it's so easy for her but others think it's difficult. I'm saying for me it is difficult for some. That's not an excuse. It's a reality. Your response also points out the big divide on how less-fit and very fit people are viewed. If i vent on how tough it is for me to make progress then I'm lazy or making excuses. If someone very fit vents about, of all things, how easy she has it she gets a pat on the back basically.
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone very fit who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I dunno, kinda feels like you're making excuses or pointing fingers or.....something.
There are very fit people that work sedentary jobs. Just like there are fat day laborers.
"I eat all the foods" doesn't mean the person eats them all day long, every day of the week. Example: Here's my lunch from yesterday.
Monster calorie bomb, but my breakfast and dinner were extremely light.
I don't believe the OP was complaining about how easy it is for her to be fit-because it's not. She works hard as hell for hers.
It's not a sacrifice for some people. It's a sacrifice for ALL people. Just different. Or not different. Some people just don't whine the way I do when they can't eat an entire pizza. Just because someone isn't putting in the same exact effort as you doesn't mean they aren't putting in the same level (or greater) of effort
nevermind... not going to participate in another hijacking.0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
But it's not.
Yes, I have visible abs, and visible muscles, and lower body fat. But I am also an active mom, who eats WELL at family gatherings (and most other times). I enjoy probably way too many processed foods, and eat a fair bit of junk food too. I do NOT spend my life in the gym. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, and maybe I'm blessed with some sort of crazy genetics, but it feels like it's implying to others that my body is the only thing I care about.
I want people to know that, in my case, I am able to be a good mother, and have a healthy relationship with food. I do not exercise 45-60 minutes daily, but I am very active with my kids.
I guess I just don't think it's being balanced enough to those with lower body fats.
I think you're taking it too personal. I clicked on the link fully prepared to hate the article....and then found it refreshingly fair, accurate, and balanced. I agreed with almost every point the author made, especially about how both consumers and the fitness industry try not to shine a bright light on what's really involved in getting to the next level.
I'm trying not to go all psychoanalysis cop, but I think you might be taking the article as some form of personal accusation that you may be sacrificing too much or that you should feel guilty about the NotFitness life opportunities you may be missing. Like it's pointing a finger and saying "you have abs so you must not be having any fun! Instead of all that working out you should be mothering your kids! "
I don't think that's the case at all. Not in the slightest. Many people can find that sweet spot where they balance career, family, and personal pursuits. From what I've seen of you on this site I believe you're one of them. Giving up a slice of pizza isn't giving up on life just like leaving my kids with a sitter while I go to the gym isn't abandoning them.
It's very possible, that I am reacting to this way to personally. It probably didn't hurt that I came across it on FB with one of the mothers of my daughter's friends shaking her head as she posted it, cluck clucking at the lengths of sacrifice that women go to in order to look that way.
Yeah, I think you took it too personally, though I can understand that. I think that in general it is best not to worry about what other people think about your life, or what assumptions they make, especially since that is beyond your control. Only worry about things you can actually do something about.
One other point: everybody judges everybody...whether consciously or not. A lot of people assume all kinds of negative things about a person who is overweight without even knowing them...they are lazy, a slob, etc. I have read that people assume attractive people are more intelligent than unattractive people. There is a halo effect that goes with being attractive, however that is defined. People very frequently make some kind of assumption abut character and lifestyle just based on appearance...whether positive or negative. People size you up and make all kind of judgments within five seconds of meeting you based almost entirely on visual cues. That is just how the human brain is wired. We can't do anything about that, so no point letting it bother you.0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I work in IT - I am at a desk 8 hours a day, and commute an extra 1.5 hours a day on top of it
On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep
After I get the kids to bed (because I'm a single parent), I am usually on my feet working until about 11:30pm getting the house tidied up and lunches made for the next day.
On the days when the kids are in with their dad, that's when I squeeze in a workout, though I'm starting to try and get a little bit of a workout in when I let the girls play their weekend allotment of Minecraft (after they've done their chores)
*eta to fix "in bed" to read "with their dad" - sorry, had insomnia and all I can think of is sleep
I do sleep more. 8 hours usually. I don't know where the discrepancy is then other than that. You see this a lot with fit people to. The same way some overestimate their activity others maybe under estimate it. Whatever it is it's the thing I've asked people to try to explain to me on multiple occasions but no one can come up with a logical answer. I really do feel like I'm doing the same things most people swear they're doing only they're getting better results. As usual it simply doesn't make sense. I see all these people swearing they don't work out that much who are ripped and I have to wonder what they're actually doing different than me then. Anyone? Explanations?
With the exception of specific medical conditions, in every instance of this I've seen the problem was that the person underestimated their food intake and overestimated their activity.0 -
Well quality of life is pretty subjective, right? I mean my DW spends a lot of time (2-3 hours) a day, 7 days a week practicing ballroom at a studio and personally I'm okay with that because I enjoy alone time on my own. I'll either do gym time, outdoor time with my DD, or just kicking it playing video games/watching TV.I think the article makes some pretty big generalizations. I have been lean and I have been fat. The fat part took no effort. Losing the first 10 pounds was actually more of a struggle than losing the last 10. It took more effort to get started than it did to make the small adjustments to get very lean.
I did take some issue with what they said about the costs of being lean. I think I probably just found it more offensive than others because it suggests that our quality of life is lower and we give up so much just to be lean. They don't take into account that the gym isn't "punishment" or a burden and often the gym is our hobby or main interest. The gym is where I relax and find peace/balance for my life. When it comes to eating I feel more balanced when I meal prep and plan ahead. I don't obsess over being perfect or eating clean, so there is no disordered eating on my end (the assumptions of how we eat is off the wall ridiculous and highly offensive).
I think that some will look at dedicated people to fitness as obsessed and that we don't lead any other lives outside of the gym or that it JUST revolves around the gym and eating perfect. Again, subjective from person to person on what's viewed as quality of life.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
I think this is alot more to do with personality than it does your physique. I have seen plenty of people on here who are overweight, trying to lose, that stress aout about social situations involving food because it does not fit into their new goals. There are also plenty of people who get a really low body fat% but don't let that rule their life all the time (obviously there is some effort there though)
I am really not trying to troll with this idea, it is a legitimate curiosity I have so please don't get angry: I would be curious to see if there is a correlation and/or higher percentage of very fit/low bf% people who do have OCD type tendancies compared to the average weight populations. I am thinking along the correlation is not causation lines here, more OCD type people are able to accomplish that body type (maybe due to an increased focus and drive alot of other people don't have) so it is being steriotyped that way. Getting that body type does not necessarily cause you to be OCD.
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How is it making excuses? I do the work. I weigh and measure my food and I put in 4-5 days a week lifting. That's the point I'm making. I'm saying some of us do the same work and don't get the same result. The OP is basically complaining about how it's so easy for her but others think it's difficult. I'm saying for me it is difficult for some. That's not an excuse. It's a reality. Your response also points out the big divide on how less-fit and very fit people are viewed. If i vent on how tough it is for me to make progress then I'm lazy or making excuses. If someone very fit vents about, of all things, how easy she has it she gets a pat on the back basically.
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone very fit who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I dunno, kinda feels like you're making excuses or pointing fingers or.....something.
There are very fit people that work sedentary jobs. Just like there are fat day laborers.
"I eat all the foods" doesn't mean the person eats them all day long, every day of the week. Example: Here's my lunch from yesterday.
Monster calorie bomb, but my breakfast and dinner were extremely light.
I don't believe the OP was complaining about how easy it is for her to be fit-because it's not. She works hard as hell for hers.
It's not a sacrifice for some people. It's a sacrifice for ALL people. Just different. Or not different. Some people just don't whine the way I do when they can't eat an entire pizza. Just because someone isn't putting in the same exact effort as you doesn't mean they aren't putting in the same level (or greater) of effort
Actually, no. I am not. I am NOT complaining about how easy it is for me.
I was:
a) asking for other people's impressions on the article to see if I was overreacting to what I read. (which is why I didn't bias my OP with WHY I took exception with it.
b) establishing that while MANY people may have to make those sacrifices, assuming ALL people do is wrong
c) reacting personally to the implication that me being fit = me being a poor mom - which was never actually stated, but more a feeling I got based on a prefacing comment to the article made by another mom.
I will readily admit that I am different than you, and many others. I am not complaining about that, but am defending myself to an audience that really doesn't need me to defend myself to it.
I fully admit my over reaction based on my personal fear that others may think I'm sacrificing my quality of life (and that of my kids) in order to look the way I do.
I am hereby owning up to my personal reaction.. perhaps you should be looking at yours.0 -
This is getting a little off topic, maybe, but it's something I've thought for a long time.
To be really accomplished at something, say the top 5% of all people, you have to have both a talent and an affection for that something. You have to love it, and you have to be gifted at it. If you are only 1 of those things, never mind neither of them, you'll work exceptionally hard for relatively less result.
So someone with both the natural love and the natural aptitude, "sacrifice" (in terms of what they have to give up) will be relatively little. Someone with little interest an little natural ability will have to sacrifice a whole lot to make even moderate progress.0 -
How is it making excuses? I do the work. I weigh and measure my food and I put in 4-5 days a week lifting. That's the point I'm making. I'm saying some of us do the same work and don't get the same result. The OP is basically complaining about how it's so easy for her but others think it's difficult. I'm saying for me it is difficult for some. That's not an excuse. It's a reality. Your response also points out the big divide on how less-fit and very fit people are viewed. If i vent on how tough it is for me to make progress then I'm lazy or making excuses. If someone very fit vents about, of all things, how easy she has it she gets a pat on the back basically.
I hear ya. All I'm saying, or assuming since I can't really know, is that for some people it probably is more of a sacrifice. I'm curious what someone very fit who has a desk job and/or not a lot of other active time (beyond working out) would say about it. What you have to give up depends on what are you needs are. For every person chanting "I eat all the foods" or some other cute slogan to affirm how much they can eat and not give up there are others who actually do have to give up quite a bit to make progress. It is what it is.MireyGal76 wrote: »I do work for the body I have, I'm not saying I don't. All I am saying is that it's not at the expense of my time (or the quality thereof) with family and friends.
I dunno, kinda feels like you're making excuses or pointing fingers or.....something.
There are very fit people that work sedentary jobs. Just like there are fat day laborers.
"I eat all the foods" doesn't mean the person eats them all day long, every day of the week. Example: Here's my lunch from yesterday.
Monster calorie bomb, but my breakfast and dinner were extremely light.
I don't believe the OP was complaining about how easy it is for her to be fit-because it's not. She works hard as hell for hers.
It's not a sacrifice for some people. It's a sacrifice for ALL people. Just different. Or not different. Some people just don't whine the way I do when they can't eat an entire pizza. Just because someone isn't putting in the same exact effort as you doesn't mean they aren't putting in the same level (or greater) of effort
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This is getting a little off topic, maybe, but it's something I've thought for a long time.
To be really accomplished at something, say the top 5% of all people, you have to have both a talent and an affection for that something. You have to love it, and you have to be gifted at it. If you are only 1 of those things, never mind neither of them, you'll work exceptionally hard for relatively less result.
So someone with both the natural love and the natural aptitude, "sacrifice" (in terms of what they have to give up) will be relatively little. Someone with little interest an little natural ability will have to sacrifice a whole lot to make even moderate progress.
I think there is a lot of merit to what you are saying. Thank you for sharing it.0 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I think I struggle with the statements surrounding the WOMEN 16-19% category (which is where I think I fall into).
In particular - Tradeoffs:
- may struggle in social situations, especially those involving food
- May not have time for social opportunities outside of exercise
- May have to give up other hobbies and interests outside of fitness
And in the WOMEN <16%:
The only listed benefit is - May feel pride at achieving an athletic goal
but the tradeoffs are:
- will have difficulty socializing in most typical situations where food is involved
- may lose out of fun events with family and friends
- big time commitment to measure and weigh and track all foods
- hyper focus on diet and exercise may contribute to disordered eating
- time require for exercise. May crowd out all other pursuits and interests.
MY COMMENTS:
These statements make it seem like in order to be lean, you need to give up your entire life and be just a gym junkie. And it seems like it promotes others into thinking that if you are lean, that MUST be what your life is like.
I think this is alot more to do with personality than it does your physique. I have seen plenty of people on here who are overweight, trying to lose, that stress aout about social situations involving food because it does not fit into their new goals. There are also plenty of people who get a really low body fat% but don't let that rule their life all the time (obviously there is some effort there though)
I am really not trying to troll with this idea, it is a legitimate curiosity I have so please don't get angry: I would be curious to see if there is a correlation and/or higher percentage of very fit/low bf% people who do have OCD type tendancies compared to the average weight populations. I am thinking along the correlation is not causation lines here, more OCD type people are able to accomplish that body type (maybe due to an increased focus and drive alot of other people don't have) so it is being steriotyped that way. Getting that body type does not necessarily cause you to be OCD.
I may have a tendency toward OCD at times (though logging and weighing my food is not one of them - as you'll see in my huge diary gaps). I've been trying to maintain for the last year or two and one of my goals is to not need to worry too much about logging every bite = but rather put into practice the food habits I made when I was logging more religiously.
0
This discussion has been closed.
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