Street Harassment
Replies
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JenAndSome wrote: »
In all seriousness guys in groups do it because we know you women hate it. We're not doing it to let you know you're hot. We're basically calling you (not you personally) a *kitten* without using the word.
Its a derogatory way to make us feel better by belittling you and making us feel superior if only for a moment because us men live such pathetic little lives.
Don't let it go to your head
Are seriously you saying that you spend your time with your friends walking around catcalling women because you think they are *kitten* because you have no better way to spend your pathetic life and that makes you feel better about yourself? And then telling the women who you treat in this manner to derive no sense of good will or complimentary tone from your catcalling because it is fulling meant to call them names without saying it?
Yes. I spend at least 6 hours a day cruising around looking for women to harass on a daily basis. On the weekends we can go out for 10+hours. Its not cheap. Gas costs money. Its like a job. SMH
The first post was a joke.
The second and third were legit explanations as to why the behavior takes place. No ones saying its right. No ones saying its deserved. It was just tossed out there.
You were asking about a behavior. I gave you the reason and undertones. If you don't like it I'm sorry. Sometimes the truth is ugly.
But think realistically. A guy sees a girl walking down the street and is so overcome by her beauty that his only natural reaction is to scream,whistle or holler?? Come on.
You said it mate
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ElizabethKalmbach wrote: »Now that I think about it, it's also possible that I'm not harassed as often, because the people who find me attractive at *this* age have more social skills and confidence than the ones that found me attractive in my early 20's...
That is very interesting.
It happened all the time when I was in my teens, hollering out car windows and asking if I wanted a ride. Lots of creepy older guys when I was in jr and high school but I was actually harassed more by girls my age than guys though.
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WickedPineapple wrote: »I grew up in northwest Indiana near Chicago. It actually started when I was 12 when my best friend and I would walk along the highway to a movie rental place. We'd get beeped at and some yells every time. It was only from afar though, because once they saw us up close they would have realized we were children (hopefully).
As a teen and adult I didn't/don't get approached much because of my default death stare. However, if I'm alone and run along a road I get beeped at and occasionally yelled at. I got harassed on a trail the other day, but that's pretty rare. If I'm with my husband I get left alone.
lol the death stare usually works for me too0 -
In all seriousness guys in groups do it because we know you women hate it. We're not doing it to let you know you're hot. We're basically calling you (not you personally) a *kitten* without using the word.
Its a derogatory way to make us feel better by belittling you and making us feel superior if only for a moment because us men live such pathetic little lives.
Don't let it go to your head
I don't do this. This isn't done because guys know that women hate it, it's done because the guys doing it are dicks.0 -
In all seriousness guys in groups do it because we know you women hate it. We're not doing it to let you know you're hot. We're basically calling you (not you personally) a *kitten* without using the word.
Its a derogatory way to make us feel better by belittling you and making us feel superior if only for a moment because us men live such pathetic little lives.
Don't let it go to your head
I don't do this. This isn't done because guys know that women hate it, it's done because the guys doing it are dicks.
And isn't a dick someone who does something because they know you don't like it???0 -
Yes, I've had people make comments but just individual guys (not groups) and usually what I consider obnoxious but harmless stuff (nothing overtly crude).
When I was 20 a group of guys (probably late teens/early twenties) chased me down the street one night when I lived in Alaska. That was terrifying and when I made it home I was so winded that I made the decision then to start working on cardio as a safety measure. (I had avoided exercise for most of my life so that was a big change for me.)0 -
I got a lot of harassment when I grew up/lived in central Iowa. Nothing sexual though because no one wants to f**k the fat girl, but plenty of oinking, mooing, "hey fatty", "hey piggy-pig", and so on, typically from people I knew/grew up or went to school with/relatives. The only time I get looked at now is when I wear my bikini T-shirt because no one wears a bikini in Newfoundland.
That is a little surprising because I lived in Des Moines for 8 years and I can't remember a single time when I witnessed or experienced that. Men probably are treated differently, and maybe society has evolved.
I have been "harassed" online for my weight. Usually it is a situation where I've posted a comment on a news article or something, and someone doesn't like my comment. So then they make a rude comment about me being fat. Once it was on Facebook from a high school classmate. He made a racist comment on something I posted, I called him out on it, and he called be fat before I blocked him. Then he found me on Twitter and tweeted at me that I'm fat, so I blocked him there. So then he "invited me to connect" on LinkedIn. Some people are both immature and persistant.0 -
In all seriousness guys in groups do it because we know you women hate it. We're not doing it to let you know you're hot. We're basically calling you (not you personally) a *kitten* without using the word.
Its a derogatory way to make us feel better by belittling you and making us feel superior if only for a moment because us men live such pathetic little lives.
Don't let it go to your head
I don't do this. This isn't done because guys know that women hate it, it's done because the guys doing it are dicks.
And isn't a dick someone who does something because they know you don't like it???
You said it
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In my town running I may get a honk, but honestly I do nice honks at people out running also, it's sorta a good job sort of thing and not a you're hot. I mainly do it if I see man or woman going uphill. So, when I get a honk, I don't mind. When I run one town over I get not polite words sometimes, so I just turn up my music.
Getting older it's definitely less often.0 -
DearestWinter wrote: »Yes, I've had people make comments but just individual guys (not groups) and usually what I consider obnoxious but harmless stuff (nothing overtly crude).
When I was 20 a group of guys (probably late teens/early twenties) chased me down the street one night when I lived in Alaska. That was terrifying and when I made it home I was so winded that I made the decision then to start working on cardio as a safety measure. (I had avoided exercise for most of my life so that was a big change for me.)
^^^ this happened to me in the Bahamas in my 20s. I thank god I was fast and not intoxicated.0 -
sadiebrawl wrote: »In my town running I may get a honk, but honestly I do nice honks at people out running also, it's sorta a good job sort of thing and not a you're hot. I mainly do it if I see man or woman going uphill. So, when I get a honk, I don't mind. When I run one town over I get not polite words sometimes, so I just turn up my music.
Getting older it's definitely less often.
Please do not honk at me while I'm running. It makes me think that I am about to be ran over or something bad is about to happen. It startles me, makes me lose my pace and is kind of irritating.
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JenAndSome wrote: »sadiebrawl wrote: »In my town running I may get a honk, but honestly I do nice honks at people out running also, it's sorta a good job sort of thing and not a you're hot. I mainly do it if I see man or woman going uphill. So, when I get a honk, I don't mind. When I run one town over I get not polite words sometimes, so I just turn up my music.
Getting older it's definitely less often.
Please do not honk at me while I'm running. It makes me think that I am about to be ran over or something bad is about to happen. It startles me, makes me lose my pace and is kind of irritating.
But its a friendly honk, surely you can tell the difference?
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I was born and raised in bklyn, ny. It's a part of life, there. lol.
Living in florida, I only get a honk when on my walks. Sometimes I get a whisper when passing by a man. The other day, this guy was bold enough to roll his window down when i was leaving the gym. Guys in Florida aren't as bold as in Bklyn. I miss those cat calls... lol! They make you feel pretty sometimes.
Edited to also state. Places where walking and public transportation is the main form of getting around, I think gives more opportunity for this to happen. Where if I see someone walking here, I'm surprised.
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JenAndSome wrote: »sadiebrawl wrote: »In my town running I may get a honk, but honestly I do nice honks at people out running also, it's sorta a good job sort of thing and not a you're hot. I mainly do it if I see man or woman going uphill. So, when I get a honk, I don't mind. When I run one town over I get not polite words sometimes, so I just turn up my music.
Getting older it's definitely less often.
Please do not honk at me while I'm running. It makes me think that I am about to be ran over or something bad is about to happen. It startles me, makes me lose my pace and is kind of irritating.
I concur.
Don't honk.
It's distracting, not encouraging.
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Yes i have.... Less so since i've cut my hair so that's nice. Also I tend to not pay attention. However, yes I have been harassed and it's no better when i'm with my Girlfriend. Fun times for me.
Street Harassment still exists. I don't care why you do it...Just don't0 -
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I was going to suggest being able to protect yourself, then I see you live in Canada, so you're not allowed to.ButBurgersAreDelicious wrote:I walk home in the day light. I get rides at night. I go out in groups, I do not leave alone.
I carry defensive spray now. All the "right" behaviors still don't prevent everything. Tell me what I
should wear, how my hair should be done, so I can walk in my home town without someone yelling
at me that I would "look good on my knees".
What steps should I take before hiding in my house for the rest of my life?
I don't worry too much about doing any of the above things you list - if it happens it's OK, but I'm not
fanatic about any of them - because I can stop someone from seriously harming me.
Words, meh. Let them talk & show how stupid & pathetic they are. Doesn't hurt me a bit.
The problem is not with the women (intended victims) doing something wrong, but rather with the
males (they're not men) doing things wrong, and that's where the shame & blame needs to be.
It needs to be supremely uncool to be a jerk, esp. toward women in the manner being discussed here.
Everyone around needs to step up & correct the bad act WHEN IT HAPPENS. Immediately, on the spot,
don't let him think for an instant that what he's doing is in any way acceptable.
As for the women, other than the above (calling him on it, if the situation is safe to do so), the best
you can do is keep a straight face, ignore him, and walk your bad self on down the road. Keep an eye
on him to be sure he's not going to do something even worse.
Sometimes looking at him in disgust and asking, "does that ever work for you? do you really get the
attention of quality women that way?" gets the point across.0 -
I don't do this. This isn't done because guys know that women hate it, it's done because the guys doing it are dicks.
I'm old now so I don't get the catcalls anymore. No great loss, LoL. But back in the day when I did, I always felt sorry for the guys who were acting this way. Obviously, they aren't getting women with this behavior. So that shows the level of intelligence they possess. And even if they are self-proclaimed dicks, such people are obviously miserable human beings and deserve nothing but our pity. *shrug*
I do feel badly that the behavior of a few can label a group as a whole. Thankfully there are great guys such as yourself who don't stoop to this level if immaturity and dickish behavior and women who are smart enough to spot the good guys.
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I have had inappropriate attention many times, even when getting into middle age.
In Columbus, OH I had a pair of guys corner me in a waiting room at a gov't office, asking personal questions & not
taking "go away & leave me alone" for an answer. I went to the security guard.
Had a guy stop his van in the middle of the street in front of my house to ask if I lived alone. WTF?
I picked up the phone (sitting on the front porch next to me where I was working on my bicycle) & offered to call
the police for him, if he was having car trouble. He sped away.
Was also the target of attack for a teen gang, but thankfully my motorcycle was faster from the stop sign than they
were on foot.
Those were in Milwaukee, WI, and were just the first things which come to mind.
Had some guys in Portland, OR make comments at me, loudly, then when they thought I didn't understand them in
spanish, they switched to doing it in English. Ignored them.
Mostly, they want attention. Don't give them attention. It doesn't matter if you give them good attention or get mad
at them, they're just happy that they've gotten something from you. Sometimes it works to give them a look like you
just stepped in dog poo, or are seeing something completely beneath your notice, then look away & move on.
Not sure if this video will post as a video, or a link, but it's about what men are really saying when they catcall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUJ24mblCLY 0 -
lishie_rebooted wrote: »JenAndSome wrote: »sadiebrawl wrote: »In my town running I may get a honk, but honestly I do nice honks at people out running also, it's sorta a good job sort of thing and not a you're hot. I mainly do it if I see man or woman going uphill. So, when I get a honk, I don't mind. When I run one town over I get not polite words sometimes, so I just turn up my music.
Getting older it's definitely less often.
Please do not honk at me while I'm running. It makes me think that I am about to be ran over or something bad is about to happen. It startles me, makes me lose my pace and is kind of irritating.
I concur.
Don't honk.
It's distracting, not encouraging.
hokie dokes.0
This discussion has been closed.
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