We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

Watching_The_Wheels

She was into Bryan Adams while I was #TeamCoreyHart

AliNouveau

He was in the kids in the hall video for These are the Dave's I Know and all of a sudden he was too good for me. His names not even Dave

betty_veronica4

Thought Kids in the Hall was better than Upright Citizens Brigade

Watching_The_Wheels

She grew tired of lowering her standards...

BluEyedMama85

He was watching the wheels

mudknuckles

I liked the common core

betty_veronica4

Thought "No Child Left Behind" was an adoption order. He seriously had, like four dozen kids at home.

shenanigans_

She wouldn't have a threesome

Watching_The_Wheels

Although we liked the idea of a threesome, she preferred that I not actively participate...

AliNouveau

Even thought I said hey now hey now he dreamed it was over

missyj1115

She looked better in those boots than I did!

betty_veronica4

Was always comparing herself to others

mudknuckles

She preferred Jughead

kam26001

Showed more affection to the lawn gnomes than me

J383

Had a fetish I couldn't agree with

mudknuckles

The list of agreeable fetishes was extensive and needed to be notarized.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Left me for the Notary Public

Renegade770

Her restraining order against me made communication hard

betty_veronica4

He didn't like things hard.

mudknuckles

That's what she said

J383

Never followed directions

betty_veronica4

Was way too bossy

YosemiteSlamAK

She said I was no longer comical enough for her

Watching_The_Wheels

His feelings for me were computer generated...

AliNouveau

He clipped my wings and wouldn't let me fly

FabulousFantasticFifty

She flew the coop

betty_veronica4

Her beloved pet chickens just smelled way too much.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was too chicken to switch teams!

Watching_The_Wheels

She threw down her umbilical noose but I never climbed back...

slimgirljo15

ED ... nuff said