We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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She was into Bryan Adams while I was #TeamCoreyHart0
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He was in the kids in the hall video for These are the Dave's I Know and all of a sudden he was too good for me. His names not even Dave0
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Thought Kids in the Hall was better than Upright Citizens Brigade0
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She grew tired of lowering her standards...0
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He was watching the wheels0
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I liked the common core0
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Thought "No Child Left Behind" was an adoption order. He seriously had, like four dozen kids at home.0
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She wouldn't have a threesome0
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Although we liked the idea of a threesome, she preferred that I not actively participate...0
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Even thought I said hey now hey now he dreamed it was over0
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She looked better in those boots than I did!0
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Was always comparing herself to others0
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She preferred Jughead0
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Showed more affection to the lawn gnomes than me0
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Had a fetish I couldn't agree with0
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The list of agreeable fetishes was extensive and needed to be notarized.0
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Left me for the Notary Public0
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Her restraining order against me made communication hard0
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He didn't like things hard.0
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That's what she said1
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Never followed directions0
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Was way too bossy0
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She said I was no longer comical enough for her0
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His feelings for me were computer generated...0
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He clipped my wings and wouldn't let me fly0
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She flew the coop0
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Her beloved pet chickens just smelled way too much.0
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She was too chicken to switch teams!
1 -
She threw down her umbilical noose but I never climbed back...0
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ED ... nuff said0
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