Where does your resolve come from?

lauradian

I feel stupid posting this, I've posted similar a time or two... I just feel lost in this journey to get healthy.
I've been studying what I want to do- and I already know- I feel I will succeed with the EM2WL group, I've succeeded with it before, but I always quit. I do great for a week or two, maybe even a month, but then I have a day off track which turns into two and then I end up weighing more than I ever did.
Right now I'm at my highest weight feeling hopeless, afraid to start because with my history I'm afraid that will just lead me to quitting again.
I really WANT this- but apparently not as much as I want bad food, which makes me very disappointed. I'm starting to feel the effects of this weight on me- my legs are getting sore, my back hurts, I'm tired- all things that I know from experience will go away when I work out & eat just a little less! Its just so hard sticking with things with the exhaustion of night shift, but I know in the long run being healthy would help even that.
SO I guess my question is- how do you get your actions to connect with what your head already knows (and not quit!!- even after a day of messing up!)

VaingloriousVictoria

My wake up call happened when I went in for a routine checkup, and the nurse said I was beginning to develop a fatty liver. I am not a drinker; it was all food. I decided that I would not be 296 pounds ever again. I look back at my old pictures as a reminder of how good I've done, and relish in my newfound confidence. I love myself enough to never allow myself to abuse my body with food ever again. Good luck!

jzammetti

For me it was my 40th birthday. I just couldn't face being fat and sick and lazy the rest of my life so I got my rear in gear and just did it. One day at a time - one small change at a time - one screw up after another, but kept on going.

The resolve comes from inside yourself...it is there so grab a hold of it and do whatever it takes to get there. When you mess up, don't give up. One bad day or even a bad week will not derail all of your work.

neandermagnon

next time you have an off day, you need to get right back on with the plan. Stop thinking that one bad day will mess everything up, and you won't behave like everything's messed up when you go off track.

focus on the outcome, not the work you need to do to get there

switch from short term thinking to long term thinking - take fat loss slowly, find out the most amount of food you can eat while still losing weight, maybe set your goal as losing 0.5-1lb a week, and eat that many calories a day, and include all the foods you like in that number. Don't give up any foods, just adjust the portion sizes so you can fit them in your calories. Add in any nutrients you're not getting enough of, i.e. make sure you're eating enough protein, healthy fat, carbs, vitamins, minerals and fibre, and on top of that eat whatever you want within your calorie goal

take up a form of exercise that you really enjoy and will be able to stick to

don't see this as "a diet" or as any kind of punishment, see it as a new healthy lifestyle that you can stick to. Make all the changes in ways that make it easiest to stick to and enjoy the process. Enjoy the food you eat, enjoy the exercise you do.

don't worry if this is a slow way to lose fat... it doesn't matter, what matters is being able to stick to it for life. It really doesn't matter if you take twice as long to get to goal, if you're actually going to stay there. Unlike those who lose weight quickly and gain it back and end up at square 1, or even in a worse state than when they started. Leave that thinking behind, take it slow and steady, and make it sustainable.

find non-exercise ways to be more active and challenge yourself, e.g. walking instead of using the car, taking the stairs instead of the lift. Anything that gets you moving more. As you get fitter and stronger you'll enjoy doing these things. try to enjoy the feeling of being fit, strong and healthy.

cwolfman13

Focus on the process of developing a healthy, sustainable dietary lifestyle. Part of the problem that many people have is that they go around giving up all kinds of foods and depriving themselves, etc. When in reality, you just need to eat healthier most of the time...make better decisions most of the time, but still indulge in your favorite treats from time to time.

I also find that focusing strictly on weight loss is a piss poor motivator...I have to focus on health and nutrition. When I do that, a day over calories or whatever doesn't really bother me...I know it'll slow my progress, but focusing on nutrition and health keeps me in the long view rather than the week to week number on the scale.

In RE to fitness, I find that I need something to train for. I have to have an event circled on my calendar...some day that is going to kick my *kitten* and I need to get ready for it. That keeps me motivated in my exercise.

juliekin

Because today-not yesterday- is the next day of the rest of my life. I have seen myself healthy and thinner and it's a good thing. Health is important. I have had some SERIOUS backslides and personal crap, but I know for myself, my family, and my future I need to break the bad habits and create the good ones.
I only focus on making it through today. Weight off is good, good health is better. It came on over time, it goes off over time and as I deal with personal, the weight also begins to shed.

TheBaileyHunter

For me part of it was changing how I was viewing my actions...as in, I am no longer on a 'diet', I'm on a lifestyle change. What this means to me is that a day of poor eating is just a day of poor eating, it's not a bad day so much as it's a day outside of what is my regular lifestyle, and can easily be left behind as I get back to my new lifestyle.

And my reason for the lifestyle change has nothing to do with wanting to be 'skinny' (though it's a nice side effect) - it's about not wanting to be in pain anymore, and feeling stronger, healthier and getting into a routine I can live with.

Before, I was always dieting. Lose weight was the only focus. I didn't think about the bounce back that inevitably happens as I resume old habits or go off course because I was restricting so much of what I enjoyed. If you're sick of the pain, and the discomfort of being in your current body - don't focus on good vs bad when it comes to food and focus more on changing habits a bit at a time. Some people are all in or all out, but for a lot of people, changing one habit a week is much more functional for them. Perhaps you're one of those people?

Pick one healthy habit and incorporate that into your daily living this week. Next week add a new healthy habit and so forth. It's a journey, not a race and winning is about coming out a healthier you.

emy61032

I lost 14 lbs last summer and it felt so fabulous. I remember how great it felt to be thinner and fit into smaller clothes. Also, I wasn't embarrassed when the camera added those extra 10 lbs (that felt like it was adding 20). Unfortunately, I gained all of those 14 lbs back, so I am starting a weight loss journey again. I am 20 lbs over-weight, have a bad back, and a strong family history of diabetes. I do not want diabetes! That is my main reason/resolve, but I also remember how great it felt when I was healthy (I wasn't skinny, but I was very healthy when I lost the 14 lbs).

jball1954

I had an annual appointment with my sleep doctor (I have sleep apnea) on December 31st. I meet with him once a year now. I weighed 276 and he (again) told me that it'd help with my apnea if I lost weight. I found MFP the next day and decided it was time to try it. I was able to stick with it and lost 30+ lbs since January 2nd. My question now is where did my resolve GO? I still count everything but quite often go over my daily calories and think I'll do better tomorrow. I am trying to get back on track before I gain it all back.

lisamarie1780

I feel stupid posting this, I've posted similar a time or two... I just feel lost in this journey to get healthy.
I've been studying what I want to do- and I already know- I feel I will succeed with the EM2WL group, I've succeeded with it before, but I always quit. I do great for a week or two, maybe even a month, but then I have a day off track which turns into two and then I end up weighing more than I ever did.
Right now I'm at my highest weight feeling hopeless, afraid to start because with my history I'm afraid that will just lead me to quitting again.
I really WANT this- but apparently not as much as I want bad food, which makes me very disappointed. I'm starting to feel the effects of this weight on me- my legs are getting sore, my back hurts, I'm tired- all things that I know from experience will go away when I work out & eat just a little less! Its just so hard sticking with things with the exhaustion of night shift, but I know in the long run being healthy would help even that.
SO I guess my question is- how do you get your actions to connect with what your head already knows (and not quit!!- even after a day of messing up!)

everything starts in your head, it's all a state of mind. You said yourself, you want bad food more than you want to lose the weight. When you want to lose weight more than you want bad food... then you will turn it around. You can do it, everyone can... you just have to want to do it and commit to it. It's hard and you will have your bad days but you just have to start over the next day...

chelseagirlfl

You have to really commit to it. Just saying you are going to do it is not enough, and you also have to make a plan of
what you are going to change. Loosing weight works with a lifestyle change. For me I stopped drinking garbage..and committed to drinking only water and herbal decaf teas. Then I cut out Dairy products, and then all fried foods. Eventually I went vegetarian 2 years
ago and vegan last year. You know in your heart what your are eating that is not healthy or right. Change is very hard, do it slow and it will become a habit. I would look into whole foods and clean eating and I don't mean going vegetatrian..thats not for everyone.
I just truly believe that when you start small and make those victories it will give you the motivation to tackle other unhealthy habits.

RichOC

For me, my weight directly ties in to what I have to train for. When I played football, I ate a trained in such a way that it sustained my needs to play that sport. Same with all the other sports I played. I retired from playing football about 4 years ago and my weight was all over the place cause I no longer had direction or any real goal, nothing to work towards. I started doing the mud runs and that gave me a little direction but 1 race a year wasn't really enough for me. So this winter I started training for my first half marathon and that's helped tremendously. I've also tried to plan out future races so I always have something to work towards.

Some people really want to look good and that's enough for them and that's cool. That gets me through the first couple of weeks, lol. Some people want to lift and try improve their max lifts or the size of a certain body part. And some people train for sport, whatever that sport may be.

Maybe if you found something that you wanted to do, racing, biking, anythig really, where being in shape helped you do it better then when you try to count calories and the such it won't feel so "Oh God, why do I have to count this banana?!?!?" because you'll actually have a reason for doing it.

Whatever it is though, I hope you're able to find whatever it is to make this weightloss journey stick for you

semarsh12

My resolve? I'm effing tire of being effing fat. Tired of my double chin, tired of my rolls, tired of my butt fat, high blood pressure, fatty liver spots. TIRED. This isn't me. I want to be ME!!!! It's not all going to be unicorns and rainbows, but you have to put some effort into it!! Keep going, it's going to take time!!!

Kellbellftw

I was the exact same way. This time around I'm stronger than I have ever been. I guess it's because I keep thinking about where I would be right now if I never quit. I joined a group on here, to keep me accountable for my actions, and I'm a lot more involved in with this website and forums too. It's a struggle, but instead of giving into my natural feelings of inevitable failure, I just sit back, breathe, and tell myself I am stronger than this!

LilRedRooster

I don't suppose I can relate entirely, because I've always been pretty active, so my body ends up craving the release that comes with the workouts. I love food, too, don't get me wrong (and I love all kinds of "terrible" foods), but the workouts I get in help me find balance with food and stress.

For me, my motivation is the feelings I get after. I am less stressed, less likely to snap at people (I'm in nursing school, as a single mom, and the workload sometimes just pushes me to the brink of sanity), and I'm more able to handle things that come my way.

My motivation is the fact that I am a better person. Not just that I look better, because ultimately, that's not a long-term thing that I can hang on to (since my looks change daily), but that I AM better, in every single way. I can notice the difference in my stress levels, the ways that I interact with people, and my focus and patience. They are all so much better when I get my free "therapy" session with my sweat.

Really, I think the big difference is where you look for your motivation, and what things you're looking at. If you focus on the things that are negative, then it'll seem like you aren't getting anywhere, because well, that's all you're looking for. Try specifically looking for good things that come out of weight loss. For every negative thing you find, find a positive one to balance it out. You'd be surprised how that becomes habit, and eventually, resolve doesn't become something that's hard to find, because it's always there in the positive things you're looking at.

ikudbne12

I just bought a carton of cookies. Not 'healthy' ones like oatmeal raisin or full of organic ingredients... These are the full of gluten and processed white sugar cookies with frosting on top in pretty summer colors they have sitting in the front of most bakery sections at the supermarket. Does this mean i am off track in my weight loss goals? Not at all. Does this mean i am going to eat the whole carton in one sitting? A year ago... perhaps. (Actually, yes probably). I had one (delicious!!!) serving of them, logged them into my daily totals and moved on. Nowadays i know to stay sane i will occasionally have to give into temptation (they were soo pretty!!) and then continue on with my efforts. I have come to far, have too much to lose to allow myself to overindulge on a habitual basis. You just have to decide where your limits are... stop feeling guilty about every little misstep. I am having fillet of sole and veggies for dinner with a side green salad; not the rest of the box of cookies.

CTCMom2009

The reason for my resolve is simple: I want to be alive and healthy for my son. About 6 months after he was born, I looked ta myself and realized that I could not be the best mom the way I was. I'm now down 50 lbs from my post-baby weight.

lauradian

Great replies. Just wrote out short term goals for this month. Small things that I really think I can do and start with small changes that hopefully lead to a lifetime of small changes.

Ejourneys

As the saying goes, "One day at a time."
I don't put myself on a timetable.
Yes, I have a goal. I'll get there when I get there.
My keyword here is "sustainability." This is not a one-shot deal. This is one day at a time, one meal at a time, for the rest of my life.
If I need to take a day off, I take a day off, but that is a conscious choice and I own it. I'm back on track the next day, and I still log everything.
I may grow impatient, but I don't get discouraged. When I feel impatient during a plateau, I tell myself that I am in much better shape than I was in when I started this journey. In other words, I've already won.

By starting, you've already won. It doesn't matter whether you fall off the horse. Just get back on it. Above all, be kind to yourself. This is a learning process like everything else in life.

Bad food is made to be addictive. That makes cutting the food out an uphill battle.
I've cut out most processed foods through substitutions, and through what I call bridge foods, like this one:



Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet Chocolate Chips were one of my “Before” snacks. I’d dump a healthy handful or two into a bowl for my chocolate fix. Note the calorie counts above and the amounts. The package defines a serving as 16 chips/80 calories, but a handful could easily contain 32 chips. Most of those calories came from fat.

These days grapes are my after-workout snack. I usually eat two cups of them. They contain a lot of water, so they’re pretty filling, and the red grapes especially are nice and sweet.

I didn’t turn to grapes immediately. Raisins were my “bridge” food. They were sweeter by volume than grapes and less fattening than chocolate. But a half cup of raisins had almost as many calories as four times the volume of grapes.

The first couple of weeks took a lot of my willpower, but then my body adjusted. These days, willpower is hardly an issue for me. We still have several bags of Ghirardelli chips in the house because my partner eats them. They don’t tempt me at all, but I could eat them if I wanted to. I ate 32 chips on September 15, 2012, and haven’t had any since. I just haven’t felt the need. I also used to eat a lot of energy bars, which my partner still eats. Again, I can walk right past those without getting tempted. I turn to fresh produce, which is much more filling -- but I needed a sweeter bridge food to get me to the point of being satisfied with (and preferring) fresh produce.

Last Saturday I had my first real "treat" day as part of social gatherings: pizza at one place, cheesecake at another. Sure, my weight blipped up. But it blipped up for only a couple of days, because I had gotten right back on track -- and my "treat" day felt wonderfully decadent and special. And that was enough for me. In fact, I've gotten so used to my standard food that I was happy to get back to stuff that was less rich and that had much less sodium.

Having good food accessible also makes a big difference for me. I'm a caregiver, so I drive my partner to medical appointments, including appointments 75 miles away. She's big fan of fast food. To stay on track, I carry my own food in a small cooler:



The cooler typically holds crispbread, canned chicken, and an orange or banana.

Half the trick is having the good stuff readily accessible. I try to make this as easy on myself as possible.
Good luck and keep on keepin' on.

Vansy

I know exactly how you feel! I was on night shift and couldn't do anything right with my diet or exercise. What's working for me (granted I am back on day shift now) is to set one small goal a month -- this month was cutting out sugar from my diet....and in less than eight days I have managed to completely stop craving it. I've also reduced the amount of bread/pasta carbs I'm eating.

Set one goal and give yourself a month to work on that one goal -- it also takes about that long to form a "habit".

yamsteroo

We were on a break in February and there's a very steep hill by the cottage which previously I'd walked up, got my second wind about half way, then carried on. Except in February, my second wind didn't come! Every day that week I had to walk up the damned hill and it didn't get any easier because my fat backside was dragging me back down. It was my wake up call and the next day, I started to change how I ate, how I looked at exercise and had a good hard think about where I wanted to be in a year's time.

We're going back to the cottage in 2wks and this time I intend to be able to keep pace with my fit husband up the 1:4 incline instead of whining for him to wait for me - that's my focus for now. I've got lots of other little targets for after that to keep me going and I think this is the key to not losing the faith.

If you really want to lose the weight for you, then find your own aims and wishes and go for it - little steps at a time

Fit_Natasha

Ejorneys, thank you for your post, I love it! I am finding hard time to stay on track because of my husband's diet. He eats tons of carbs and doesn't gain any weight. His food shopping is what usually kicks me off the horse. If I don't have sweets at home, I simply don't eat them, and it is easy for me not to buy them. But if he brings sweets home, I can't resist it. Where do you guys get the willpower to fight your partner's bad habits?

Rhonda21km

I think each person finds that time when enough is enough. I have tried and failed many times, but previously I had always been following a prescribed "diet" whether it was Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage soup diet, or even starving myself!!
I always had a straight and narrow path to follow with rules and restrictions that made me feel horrible when I would step one toe off the path. I would then think "well, I've already BLOWN it, so what's a little more!" One bad day would lead to another and another and before I knew it, not only had I undone all my work but added more to the problem.

The difference for me (and this was a big "ah ha" moment) was that I don't have to be perfect! I don't have to have a perfect day every single day. It's not ALL or nothing. It's making the best choices you can each day, forgiving yourself if you choose something less wise, or even allowing yourself to have it without guilt by providing more calories burned that day.

Removing the feeling of "failure" is what changed my mind-set. I am very much an all or nothing person so, making a lifestyle change was key - not DIETING. I also set goals. The only goals I had set in the past were ones regarding dates in which I demanded of myself that I be a certain weight by. I don't do this anymore.

I set goals for fitness events. Things I want to accomplish no matter what my weight is that day. This year, I will complete my first
full marathon. I don't care what I weigh that day - I will cross that finish line and be proud of myself.

I hope you find what works best for you and forgive yourself for your perceived failures in the past.
Your future self will thank the woman you are today for never giving up!!

Ed98043

I've only lost 23 lbs since January, but I weigh less now than I have in about 4 years. My dieting history is similar to yours, all gung-ho for a few days, a week, or maybe 3 months at the most, and then giving up and gaining it all back, plus interest. It's hard to put my current mindset into words because it really just boils down to "failure it not an option", but I'll try.

First off, I had to address what has caused me to quit all the other times. Mainly hunger, feeling deprived of food pleasure, and unmet expectations. So this time:

-I'm not starving. I eat 1400 to 1600 calories most days. This is truly a revelation for someone who thought I had to eat under 1200 calories a day to lose any weight at all.

-I'm not completely depriving myself of the junk food I like. I have a couple of cheat meals or treats per week and full cheat day every couple of weeks. It slows down my weight loss but I know from experience that if I restrict too much I'll quit completely. It's all about doing something you can sustain. I try to be about 80% "good".

-I'm not obsessing about whether I'm on track to lose X amount of weight by X date. I don't have a deadline. If I keep doing the right things the weight will come off. If I keep doing the wrong things it will stay and probably continue to climb. It's as simple as that. I understand and accept that my weight fluctuates, it goes down 2 and back up 1, stays the same for a week or two, drops 3 overnight, etc. As long as I'm in a generally downward trend then I'm succeeding. 2014 is going to come no matter what. Do I want to weigh more, the same, or less when it gets here? I choose less.

Another thing is to try and really get control of my inner dialogue. I'm very good at coming up with justifications to eat too much (I have fat genes. I'm hormonal. I'm too old. It won't work in the long run anyway. What difference will it really make in my life if I lose weight. I'm not that fat. I don't eat that much.). All just excuses to eat too much. Sometimes I think my fat is a separate entity that puts these thoughts in my head until I silence it with pizza and ice cream. I hear those thoughts creeping in sometimes and I tell my fat to shut the hell up. I try to replace those thought habits with more positive mantras.

I guess the bottom line is that I'm just being gentler with myself. I can lose weight without my motivation being self-hatred, and I can eat outside the plan without beating myself up about it afterwards. That being said, I don't criticize anyone who does best in a more structured plan. I'm just someone who does better without rigid discipline.

phyllisgehrke

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

My awakening was I am 66 years old, and I did not want Heart Trouble, Diabetes or Cancer.
In addition, I was in size 14 clothes and they were getting tight.
I refused to go to a bigger size.

I am now in size 12 clothes and feel great.
I can only exercise minimal because of arthritis in my back and hip and now I have Tendonitis in both of my feet.
I was walking, but now after 5 minutes, that is too painful.
Going to the Doctor next week.

I keep my diary and that keeps me going.
Also keep drinking your water. I drink 8 to 9 glasses of water a day.


Just keep trying and you will succeed.

ktsmom430

Ultimately, I think you have to want it. That simple, and that complex.

My initial motivation was $$$$$. In December of 2011 we were given the option of participating in a health assessment at work. I was good in all categories, except weight (BMI - I was morbidly obese). I procrastinated for several more months. Through a favorite web site I found out about MFP in February 2012. Procrastinated until March 12th when I finally took it seriously and have been logging ever since. I am a couple of pounds away from my initial goal, but would like to lose about 15 more pounds by December. I think that most people can achieve their goals if there are no health issues. I will be 62 next fall, and if I can do it, most anyone can.

caffeinekandie

My resolve has come from the realization that I've never been fit and healthy (and that being fit and healthy will help me mentally). I didn't have the best eating habits as a child, then developed an eating disorder that had me from 195+lbs to around 120lbs. Then I started the road to recovery, especially in the past year where I gained weight from medication then added another 10lbs on top of it, I just do not want to be unhealthy anymore. I'm healthy mentally now, and now I want my body to match. I've decided to do this my way, meaning I still want to eat the foods I love (and find more that I love), nothing is off limits, as I need this to be sustainable in the long haul. I've just really slacked off cooking for myself and eating a lot of carbs.

Bernadette60614

My resolve came from realizing that resolution, at least for me, is a delusion.

I have eating habits..those are a combination of my childhood, what is readily available to me, what is engineered to appeal to my palate.

I started reading about habits and willpower. Two great books: The Power of Habit and Willpower by Roy Baumeister. The take away for me: The more I could make eating right a habit, the less I would have to reply upon willpower.

So, that's what I'm doing....I'm changing habits.

Once I took all the judgemental stuff out of my equation I found it a lot easier to change habits one at a time.

Yes, I want to look good and feel good, but mostly I want to get the "dieting monkey" off my back and just have naturally good eating habits..though I have to work to make them natural.

jenns1964

I feel fantastic eating better and exercising than I did when I weighed 260 with a lousy eating habits, chronic pain and depression. I do not EVER want to feel that lousy again. That is what keeps me going on this journey.

zachherda

Mine comes from a few sources, the biggest one that really
Put me in gear was when I switched jobs in my company to an all day sitting desk job. *i was in shipping and receiving so we were up constantly*. When I left all my coworkers said man you are going to be sitting all day, the next time we see you you'll be 300 lbs. I am already overweight and that pushed me over the edge. I decided that I would kick my butt with Insanity and the next time they see me ill be my goal weight of 190 and lean!

Joehenny

I feel stupid posting this, I've posted similar a time or two... I just feel lost in this journey to get healthy.
I've been studying what I want to do- and I already know- I feel I will succeed with the EM2WL group, I've succeeded with it before, but I always quit. I do great for a week or two, maybe even a month, but then I have a day off track which turns into two and then I end up weighing more than I ever did.
Right now I'm at my highest weight feeling hopeless, afraid to start because with my history I'm afraid that will just lead me to quitting again.
I really WANT this- but apparently not as much as I want bad food, which makes me very disappointed. I'm starting to feel the effects of this weight on me- my legs are getting sore, my back hurts, I'm tired- all things that I know from experience will go away when I work out & eat just a little less! Its just so hard sticking with things with the exhaustion of night shift, but I know in the long run being healthy would help even that.
SO I guess my question is- how do you get your actions to connect with what your head already knows (and not quit!!- even after a day of messing up!)

After awhile your obsession with a healthy lifestyle starts to become part of your identity.

I couldn't imagine not working out or eating way more than I need to for an extended amount of time.

Even if I lost my legs I'd still be in a wheel chair swole as fak; and if I was on bed rest I'd be the guy with huge arms.

You are what you think