Terrified to hit my calories for the day
courtneyallisonatx
Posts: 133 Member
I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.
I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.
Anyone else get these feelings?
I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.
Anyone else get these feelings?
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For me, it was social gatherings and family dinners. Places where I didn't have complete control over my food. They made me anxious, guilty, angry, sad, and a whole lot of other really negative emotions. And I dieted through 4 of my very close friends getting married. There were a lot of social gatherings! When I reached the point that I broke into tears in a restaurant because they were out of quinoa burgers, I needed help. Don't go down this road if you can stop yourself. It's not fun and it can cause all kinds of problems later on.0
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I felt this way at first too. I found it helpful to think about the calorie goal as something I'm trying to achieve, not something I want to avoid. I love food and want to eat as much of it while trying to get my net intake for the day as close as possible to the goal. It helped me change my mindset from, "oh no, only 200 calories left" to "Okay cool I can eat 200 calories of ice cream?" Remember even if you go over a bit you're still losing weight.0
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I'm just like you. I can either binge or not eat enough. I don't know how to eat like a normal person0
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Well you should follow me if you want my help ask me anything. :-)0
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diannethegeek wrote: »For me, it was social gatherings and family dinners. Places where I didn't have complete control over my food. They made me anxious, guilty, angry, sad, and a whole lot of other really negative emotions. And I dieted through 4 of my very close friends getting married. There were a lot of social gatherings! When I reached the point that I broke into tears in a restaurant because they were out of quinoa burgers, I needed help. Don't go down this road if you can stop yourself. It's not fun and it can cause all kinds of problems later on.
This! OP, dieting is not sudden death. You don't fall off a cliff, get hit by a truck, or are forced to be 100 lbs overweight forever if you go over your calories every once in a while. So take a deep breathe and take some of the pressure off. You WILL have bad days where you eat more than your plan. No big deal, just get back on the plan tomorrow.
And just to be clear, you SHOULD hit your calorie goal. Your deficit is already built into it. So eat the calories MFP gave you. If you get bonus calories for exercising, eat some of those too. It's said here a lot - there is no prize for the person who eats the lowest calories. Winning is eating as much as you can and still losing weight!0 -
Yeah I really like to play with numbers and am also reward-driven, so it's hard not to see MFP like a big old puzzle where if you put the pieces together right, your food has no calories and you lose magically awesome amounts of weight in a split second.
What helped me is to focus that same energy on fitness instead of weight loss. Playlists, schedules, outfits and equipment occupy my mind instead of calories, calories and calories.0 -
I do the researching, but I see it as a positive to some extent - it may well become a treasure in the long run once you get comfortable with which foods you like! My personal thing is searching 200-300 calorie meals so I can have more of them and things like "desserts under 50 calories". I think now it's been a little while of doing this I know I have a few options and know which ones fill me up best... So I actually feel more relaxed than ever!0
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I am still obsessed about food, calories, fat, protein, carbs.. I think calorie counting was bad for my over obsessive behavior and tend I analyze things (especially numbers) to death... LOL
I still log in everyday and stew over this, but things are working so I just keep doing it..0 -
I have done, but what has helped is playing around with my settings for speed of weight loss and maintenence and memorising what those calorie goals are, and it helps put it into perspective, so say if I'm over 1,200 (for 2lbs per week) then it doesn't matter so much as long as I'm still under 1,920 (maintenence before exercise) and even if I eat an extra 440cals then I'm still losing, but by 1/2 a pound a week, or an extra 190 by a pound a week- hope that makes sense!
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You shouldn't be terrified to eat. MFP gives you a calorie GOAL before exercise. It's a goal to meet not a goal to be under all the time. What happens if you go over goal? You lose a little slower....that's all. Losing slower is not the same as not losing at all.
You are losing weight, not for the number on the scale, but for your health. Is cooking a meal with the least amount of calories possible the best thing for your health? Are you meeting protein goals, are you meeting fat goals? Counting calories alone says that nutrition doesn't matter. With fewer calories to work with, nutrition certainly does matter.0 -
A goal is meant to be met and/or surpassed. Don't be scared of meeting your goal. Your body NEEDS those calories. If you start skimping too much, your body will suffer for it and you may make yourself ill. Do you want to lose weight and be malnourished and ill or do you want to lose weight and be happy and healthy?0
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I have this feeling too sometimes. At first it was because I had just started and I wanted to make sure that I was really following my caloric intake, and now that I've been doing it a while and I am close to my goal, I keep getting nervous that I'll go over and gain back the weight or that I won't reach my goal. I've made a habit of having a range between 1200-1400 so I'm not super obsessive about my calories. I've made 1400 my high end point because it's just a tad over what MFP tells me I should be eating. I also don't eat my exercise calories back. This helps me feel more at ease to go out and have a fun dinner with my husband or have a beer or a glass of wine one night during the week. I know I've "earned" some extra calories but I still try to not over do it when I do go out. I've realized that this journey is a lot easier to stay on if there is a liiiiiiittle wiggle room.0
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I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.0 -
amyrebeccah wrote: »courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
Well, and no one can snap their fingers and take away your fear. The only thing they can do is try to reassure you mentally, til you get in a position where you're able to do it and show yourself it's nothing to be scared of. Do you have any particular anxiety issues? I just ask about the statement that you get obsessive about things. If so, maybe it's something to try to talk about with your therapist or try to apply your coping mechanisms.
I'm actually on medication for my anxiety, but starting this new thing has kicked it into over gear a little.
I'm scared of failing again for the 900th time.
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
I understand. I started to get obsessive about my logging. I HAD to do it with absolute precision. Social gatherings and eating out gave me (to a degree) anxiety. I finally had to just take a step back and tell myself to not sweat the small stuff. It's not like I was going back to the way I was before losing weight. I was still on the right path, no matter what. After I loosened the mental reigns, my anxiety about eating out went away and I started enjoying my food more. I started trying alot more things and eating different flavored ice creams/sweets/etc. I just found alot more enjoyment in what I was eating and felt great, while losing weight.
I really want to say the ACT of losing weight is easy, it's the MENTAL part of losing weight that is hard. Because it really is. I still get a bit obsessive about calories. I lost 58 lbs from June 2013 to April 2014 and then (as planned) became pregnant. It was a complete 180. I had to reverse my mentality from losing weight to gaining weight (healthily). I had my baby in January, so now it's back to losing (albeit at a MUCH slower pace). But I can tell you it still effs with my brain to this day. You always question yourself. You always think about the math involved. But in the end, as long as you keep to the path (even if you stumble), you're headed in the right direction.0 -
Relax woman! Stressing out is bad for our weight loss (QUEEN stresser here).0
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
Well, and no one can snap their fingers and take away your fear. The only thing they can do is try to reassure you mentally, til you get in a position where you're able to do it and show yourself it's nothing to be scared of. Do you have any particular anxiety issues? I just ask about the statement that you get obsessive about things. If so, maybe it's something to try to talk about with your therapist or try to apply your coping mechanisms.
I'm actually on medication for my anxiety, but starting this new thing has kicked it into over gear a little.
I'm scared of failing again for the 900th time.
what kind of deficit do you have yourself set for (i.e. how many pounds per week do you want to lose)?
If you are set to 2lbs, then I'd recommend changing it to 1.5, knowing that you'll likely leave that margin of error and hit the target for 2lbs.
as for being scared of failing... try not to think of it as failure, but as part of the road you are travelling. Sometimes there are obstacles in the road that force you to deviate left or right, sometimes you need to backtrack and pick a new route.
look at the facts...
1) you are here
2) you are actively taking steps to lose weight
3) you are reaching for help in areas in which you feel weak.
Your road is pointing in the right direction. It may have some potholes from time to time, just keep travelling.
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
Keep in mind that having an aggressive weight loss goal can make anxiety worse. Not only is there the stress of a deadline involved, but cutting calories can increase anxiety for some people. One of the things that I've had to do while I'm dieting is throw out the goal date and let the fat come off a little slower.
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A goal is meant to be met and/or surpassed. Don't be scared of meeting your goal. Your body NEEDS those calories. If you start skimping too much, your body will suffer for it and you may make yourself ill. Do you want to lose weight and be malnourished and ill or do you want to lose weight and be happy and healthy?
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It took me 2 years and 9 months to lose 121 pounds.courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.
I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.
Anyone else get these feelings?0 -
It took me 2 years and 9 months to lose 121 pounds.courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.
I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.
Anyone else get these feelings?
And it took ME over a year of walking and eating better just to lose 30+ pounds...Hang in there!!!0 -
you shouldn't be scared to eat...calories are just a unit of energy, they aren't the devil...you need energy (calories) to exist.
Also, I'd toss out time deadline. Weight loss isn't linear...to boot, you are going to have good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks, etc. You are going to miss workouts, you are going to go to a party or holiday or BBQ or whatever...you aren't going to be bang on 100% all of the time and expecting you will is simply not realistic.
Maybe just focus on the process and being a little better today than you were yesterday. All of that other stuff and worrying about time deadlines, etc is just going to add stress and anxiety to the process unnecessarily.
It took me 9 months to lose about 40 Lbs.0 -
Thank you everyone for your concern and responses!
I appreciate you all!0 -
Agree! Stop and take a few deep breaths. Of course you are freaking out. Look at what we've been taught about eating, weight loss, etc. No matter what we do, we are doing it wrong. This is what we've been taught. Find help for these feelings. I've been there and couldn't start shaking any of that off until I searched for what could really help me. PM me and I'll share more.Liftng4Lis wrote: »Relax woman! Stressing out is bad for our weight loss (QUEEN stresser here).
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It took me 2 years and 9 months to lose 121 pounds.[/quote]
^^
This
You have 100lbs to lose, you want to do it in 1 year, plus you're terrified of not meeting the target and failing for the 900th time!
What are the chances that you're not plugged in at 2lbs a week?
Given that 2lbs a week is less than 1% of your body weight, it may be safe for you--ON PAPER!
But a 1000 calorie a day deficit doesn't help you stick to the program.
Let me guess here: you probably not eating back your actual net exercise calories, are you? So your actual daily deficit is what? 1200? 1400? 1500?
Instead of maximizing your chances of achieving this life change by dialing in a substantial but sane 20% or so caloric deficit, you are pushing things, and creating a deficit that is closer to 50%
You know why you're scared of failing? Because you should be!
While I am sure that at least one or two people on MFP have eaten for a full year at 50% off TDEE, the other 998 who tried to do so didn't make it!
Instead of giving yourself every chance to succeed by making a transition to a better and healthier lifestyle first (and worrying about the RATE of weight loss a far distant second) you are forcing the issue with artificial deadlines and increasing your chance of falling off the wagon.
You are not on a diet. If you think you're on a diet when you succeed in losing your 100lbs you will stop being on one, and you will gain it all back.
Take the time to incrementally change your relationship with food and exercise, forget jumping into heroic diets, persevere in reaching for your reasonable goals, and WIN!
And if you are hell bent in viewing the number MFP gives you as an inviolate limit, then at the very least dial down your weight loss target to a 1lb a week.0 -
100 pounds in a year is doomed for failure. Once I lost 25 pounds in three months, but I was a crazed woman determined to look good for my son's last minute wedding announcement, walking 20,000 steps a day, eating less than 1,000 calories a day, and doing the exerbike at least half an hour or more every night. It worked - I lost the 25 pounds - and then I gained 50. Then another ten for a total of 60 pounds. Now I've lost 23 but I'm doing it the right way - slow and easy.0
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Hi. I feel like this too. I find myself worrying more about how many calories will it take up if I eat this. I mean it's good to keep in mind since this is based on calories taken in and calories needed etc.... But I think I'm nervous to eat. Crazy huh? Once I get near my limit usually at around 500cal. I start worrying. Would like to hear others thoughts on this. Will it stop?courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.
I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.
Anyone else get these feelings?
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atypicalsmith wrote: »100 pounds in a year is doomed for failure. Once I lost 25 pounds in three months, but I was a crazed woman determined to look good for my son's last minute wedding announcement, walking 20,000 steps a day, eating less than 1,000 calories a day, and doing the exerbike at least half an hour or more every night. It worked - I lost the 25 pounds - and then I gained 50. Then another ten for a total of 60 pounds. Now I've lost 23 but I'm doing it the right way - slow and easy.
two pounds a week times 52 weeks = 104 pounds …assuming she loses two pounds a week ..
likely yes, but probably a little too aggressive.
but way to be supportive and condemn OP to failure…
wow….0 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
are you getting sucked into the eat clean/healthy only mantra?
honestly, if you go over by 50 to 100 calories on a given day that is not the end of the world..
what is your calorie goal that MFP gave you?0 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"
Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.
are you getting sucked into the eat clean/healthy only mantra?
honestly, if you go over by 50 to 100 calories on a given day that is not the end of the world..
what is your calorie goal that MFP gave you?0
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