How do I deal with being told I'm unattractive and undesirable?
capriqueen
Posts: 976 Member
Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.
How do I deal with this?
How do I deal with this?
0
Replies
-
i have always found beauty is good for 1 night after that the personality has to be there if you can make people laugh thats all that really matters0
-
You shouldn't have to you are so beautiful and I am not a people pleaser. Deal with it by not believeing it. I wish I looked as good as you and that's the truth. I can't understand why anyone would say that to you unless they are just jealous.0
-
There is not one person on this planet that isn't attractive to somebody else.
You're a great looking person with a fantastic personality to go with it, never let anybody get you down!!
We are all on a mission to make our lives better, make yours how you want it.. never let anybody drag you down! You got this!!0 -
oneunfitdad wrote: »i have always found beauty is good for 1 night after that the personality has to be there if you can make people laugh thats all that really matters
I like to think I can make people laugh
@kungabungadin You're very beautiful! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Most of my friends don't understand that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and each has something special about them.0 -
I would find better friends. I generally avoid hanging around people who make me feel bad about myself.
0 -
thats a much better way of putting it than i did
0 -
There is not one person on this planet that isn't attractive to somebody else.
You're a great looking person with a fantastic personality to go with it, never let anybody get you down!!
We are all on a mission to make our lives better, make yours how you want it.. never let anybody drag you down! You got this!!
This is so true! Everyone has different ideas of what is attractive, don't let a couple of comments alter how you think about yourself. Sounds like you need to get some new friends to hangout with.0 -
Toss those "friends" away, kick them to the curb... get some new friends, people who appreciate who you are, not only think of what you look like. Why hang around people who make you feel miserable? :flowerforyou:0 -
I think youre pretty, and more importantly, youre funny and intelligent and nice to people, you have a good personality.
But having people tell you youre unattractive sucks even if theyre wrong,
I say do thinks that make you feel beautiful and get new friends.
0 -
These "friends" are being bribed by your parents. Parents secretly don't want to children to have intimate relations with anyone till their married.
As mentioned above, people have a narrow view sometimes. I have many friends I'm not physically attracted to, nor do I find them desirable.....................to me. Doesn't mean someone else won't. I do the old "schluff it off" and move on. Words hurt, but only if you let them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
These "friends" are being bribed by your parents. Parents secretly don't want to children to have intimate relations with anyone till their married.
As mentioned above, people have a narrow view sometimes. I have many friends I'm not physically attracted to, nor do I find them desirable.....................to me. Doesn't mean someone else won't. I do the old "schluff it off" and move on. Words hurt, but only if you let them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bribed by my parents? I'm sorry, but my parents do not know my friends. Or did you mean their parents? Or did I miss something?0 -
Lasmartchika wrote: »
Toss those "friends" away, kick them to the curb... get some new friends, people who appreciate who you are, not only think of what you look like. Why hang around people who make you feel miserable? :flowerforyou:
Perfect!0 -
Totally! I hang out with them lesser and lesser. Honestly, few of these are people in my graduate program who have no engineering knowledge whatsoever but I never pointed that out. Not to blow my own trumpet, though. Why call me out on this, then?Lasmartchika wrote: »
Toss those "friends" away, kick them to the curb... get some new friends, people who appreciate who you are, not only think of what you look like. Why hang around people who make you feel miserable? :flowerforyou:
0 -
Been there, felt that, albeit in a different form, from my own inner enemy. Here, I share a few tips that have given me so much strength:
1. If you believe in God, remember that He made you and thinks you're perfect, no matter what. Talk to Him about it, and see what His Word says about your worth.
2. Practice mindfulness meditation, where you non-judgmentally notice and accept what goes on in and around you.
3. Helping others helps you forget about your own problems/put things into perspective.
Again, I know EXACTLY what you're saying and would be glad to help/pray for you. Hope I helped!0 -
That hit a nerve, like the above poster I used to hear those same lines from myself, and avoided social interactions, and basically talked to 3-4 people I considered friends and that's it.
every single human being is beautiful in their own way. Nowadays society defined beauty and if one doesn't fit the "guidelines" they're not pretty? BS.
You are charming, and every single person is charming in their own way. you must IGNORE these voices, and reconsider who you call a friend.0 -
Hang out with a different crowd. Beauty is so subjective and everyone has different preferences.0
-
That hit a nerve, like the above poster I used to hear those same lines from myself, and avoided social interactions, and basically talked to 3-4 people I considered friends and that's it.
every single human being is beautiful in their own way. Nowadays society defined beauty and if one doesn't fit the "guidelines" they're not pretty? BS.
You are charming, and every single person is charming in their own way. you must IGNORE these voices, and reconsider who you call a friend.
Thanks Although I can't imagine how you heard the same lines. I think some people are just incredibly close-minded and find any chance they can get to bring the other person down.
0 -
hun, there's always something that someone doesn't like..
You can look at a model and think her nose is too big, or a gorgeous face and think if only she lost weight, there's no pleasing everyone..0 -
Some people may get mad at me for this, because it could be taken to seem shallow, but maybe to feel more beautiful you can do things like paint your nails or try playing with make up. You can watch you tube videos and play around with colors. Try a bb cream or coloured nail polish or style your hair. Just like a fabulous new top can make you feel great wearing it, sometimes some make up can make you feel good too. Just for a quick fix, you know? For yourself.0
-
I mean my comment as something for you to do just for yourself. Not to try to impress anybody else. And these people are right about them not being very good friends if they make you feel bad but don't try to help you feel good.0
-
These "friends" are being bribed by your parents. Parents secretly don't want to children to have intimate relations with anyone till their married.
As mentioned above, people have a narrow view sometimes. I have many friends I'm not physically attracted to, nor do I find them desirable.....................to me. Doesn't mean someone else won't. I do the old "schluff it off" and move on. Words hurt, but only if you let them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
hun, there's always something that someone doesn't like..
You can look at a model and think her nose is too big, or a gorgeous face and think if only she lost weight, there's no pleasing everyone..
So true. I've had friends look at pretty people and say their nose is too big. Or that their eyebrows are too thick. Sometimes it's just hilarious.0 -
Camarose79 wrote: »Some people may get mad at me for this, because it could be taken to seem shallow, but maybe to feel more beautiful you can do things like paint your nails or try playing with make up. You can watch you tube videos and play around with colors. Try a bb cream or coloured nail polish or style your hair. Just like a fabulous new top can make you feel great wearing it, sometimes some make up can make you feel good too. Just for a quick fix, you know? For yourself.
That's not shallow, and I agree with you 100%.
That it's for herself, if it makes her feel better about herself, not to seek approval or attention.0 -
your friends don't sound like good "friends" to me.
Drop em....You are better off. I really question why any person would say such a thing to another person unless it was self-fulfilling. Maybe they are jealous of your beauty?0 -
Really? Your friends are undermining your confidence. They secretly see you as competition (w/guys). And your guy friends think of you as a sister....who wants to be romantic with a sister? (eew, lol). So wear whatever makes you feel pretty, dab on a bit of perfume, pretty up those lips, hold your head high, and go out and have FUN!!
Confidence attracts.0 -
Hearts_2015 wrote: »These "friends" are being bribed by your parents. Parents secretly don't want to children to have intimate relations with anyone till their married.
As mentioned above, people have a narrow view sometimes. I have many friends I'm not physically attracted to, nor do I find them desirable.....................to me. Doesn't mean someone else won't. I do the old "schluff it off" and move on. Words hurt, but only if you let them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Words hurt, but only if you let them. So true. I tell this to myself as much as possible.
0 -
Just accept it and move on
Life doesnt revolve around looks0 -
Camarose79 wrote: »Some people may get mad at me for this, because it could be taken to seem shallow, but maybe to feel more beautiful you can do things like paint your nails or try playing with make up. You can watch you tube videos and play around with colors. Try a bb cream or coloured nail polish or style your hair. Just like a fabulous new top can make you feel great wearing it, sometimes some make up can make you feel good too. Just for a quick fix, you know? For yourself.
I know that helps me sometimes, to take out time just for me, to pamper myself. For some it's a walk, cook a special recipe you're been wanting to try out, try something new with your hair, nails, so many choices on how to pamper.
I agree with @Camarose79 sometimes doing for ourselves makes us feel beautiful when we might not feel that inside at the moment. I don't think it's being vain, I think of it as loving ourselves enough to care for ourselves like we would another.
Hon, I think you're very beautiful, such lovely deep brown eyes.... As Ninerbuff up above shared, words can hurt only if we let them.
I know various cultures can vary on what parents say and so perhaps that has something to do with it?
Find the beauty within and you'll be beautiful in all ways. You've shared some things you like about yourself, hang on to those, continue the list and pursue them.
Hearts
0 -
capriqueen wrote: »Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.
How do I deal with this?
A poetic and song vituoso of our time wrote "someday this will all seem funny" That was Bruce Springsteen. While it is sometimes difficult to dismiss, you must. None of that matters, now or in the future. Especially in your immediate future. You are as you are, not as others wish you to be. And that is as good as you would like you to be on your own accord. Best wishes.
0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions