Spider in my kitchen. Shall I slay it, or show mercy? You decide.

undergloom

Alright, first-time homeowner, and I've got my first big creepy spider! I'm debating whether to murder it. Spiders eat bugs, which is helpful and something I just don't have the time to do myself. I feel like I could feasibly let him live here rent-free and be my spider roommate.
However - and this is where it gets personal - I was bitten on the neck by a damned Brown Recluse last year in a remote corner of the Pemigewasset Wilderness, and I'm still carrying a grudge. Spiders owe me $800 for the hospital stay, as well as restitution for cutting an epic hike short by two whole days.
Should this guy pay for others' sins? Is it bad karma for me to kill it, or is it karma biting him in the abdomen for his cousin's jerky behavior?
This is the hardest decision I've had to make all day, which goes to show you that I had a pretty darned easy day. I defer to the Chit-Chat section of the MFP forums to decide the fate of this tiny monster. What say you?

SwedishSarah

Show mercy!
Be careful, and try to make sure it isn't poisonous like the previous spider that bit you. Trap it with a clear cup (so you can see where it is underneath) and slip a magazine under to hold it, then throw it outside.

GreenGoddess22

Dude, just burn the house down!

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kbkat7

leave the house immediately do not return..

undergloom

Ok, so I ran outside, but I saw another spider out there. Nowhere is safe.

SoulOfRusalka

Mercy! It's not the spider's fault for acting like a spider. Also, the whole punishing-creatures-for-their-ancestors'-sins is so biblical (in the worst way possible). Unnecessary killing is... unnecessary, so it's probably best not to. And if there really is karma you might be reincarnated as a spider a few hundred times in retribution, which seems like a disproportionate risk just to punish a spider :P
Also, I think spiders can be really cute. I say let the tiny monster live! It's preferable to bugs anyway.

earlnabby

Kill the beast. If you don't, he will crawl all over you in the middle of the night. Do you really want to wake up with a spider in your mouth?

SomeGirlSomewhere

I normally scoop spiders up on a piece of paper and toss them outside, but you specifically said it was a "big and creepy" spider...depending on the size of the thing I might not be so kind!

SoulOfRusalka

If you still aren't convinced then here are pictures of jumping spiders wearing raindrops as tiny hats.

besaro

kbkat7

this could be the end

SomeGirlSomewhere

SomeGirlSomewhere wrote: »

I normally scoop spiders up on a piece of paper and toss them outside, but you specifically said it was a "big and creepy" spider...depending on the size of the thing I might not be so kind!

I just realized the OP is a guy...man up and set the spider free outside!

haleklausen

Kill the creepy thing

besaro

truly though, if you are serious about opinions, mine is firmly on compassion. be the better creature and seek not revenge. "While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself."
Douglas Horton

undergloom

LadyAbsynthe wrote: »

If you still aren't convinced then here are pictures of jumping spiders wearing raindrops as tiny hats.

This is adorable

SomeGirlSomewhere wrote: »

I just realized the OP is a guy...man up and set the spider free outside!

I'm trying to think of a manly way to do this.

softblondechick

Kill.

Call an exterminator tomorrow. One could be a hundred. Your home could be infested with spiders in the walls and duct system.

Get a cat, they are killers and will do spider hunting and deal with the death penalty. Just don't kiss the cat on the lips.

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undergloom

Ok, "murder" is about tied with "set it free". Surprisingly, "make it my roommate" is dead last.

I believe I will blow smoke from an Oliva Serie V Melanio cigar towards it, forcing it in the direction of an open window, all while wearing a black beaverskin cowboy hat and playing "Spidey's Wild Ride" by Tom Waits on the stereo. This is the manliest way that I can think of to solve this.

JeopardyRight

What if YOU were a spider sir? Show mercy. Unless its venomous, then crush it, burn it and spit on it.

haleklausen

All I know is if it crawls anywhere near me it's getting the boot

Dnarules

Kill it. I completely leave spiders alone outside, but if they come inside, they are dead.

syedaounabbas

Kill it and wait for mama spider's revenge....

In all honesty, you should be able to take it outside. No rocket science there.

haleklausen

I don't want it near me so why would I take it outside?

undergloom

The cigar thing worked; man, just a slight waft and he scurried right out. So he's outside now, and it's a balmy 60 degrees F, so he'll be fine. Assuming he doesn't die of nicotine poisoning, which might be a thing? I don't know; I'm not a spider doctor.

Everyone who voted for "mercy": congratulate yourself, you have saved a life via the internet.

Everyone who voted "death": I'll murder something tomorrow for you.

haleklausen

That idea of yours kinda sounds like torture.

syedaounabbas

undergloom wrote: »

The cigar thing worked; man, just a slight waft and he scurried right out. So he's outside now, and it's a balmy 60 degrees F, so he'll be fine. Assuming he doesn't die of nicotine poisoning, which might be a thing? I don't know; I'm not a spider doctor.

Everyone who voted for "mercy": congratulate yourself, you have saved a life via the internet.

Everyone who voted "death": I'll murder something tomorrow for you.

Don't go all DEXTER, okay?

undergloom

haleklausen wrote: »

That idea of yours kinda sounds like torture.

If I had a nickel for every time someone's said that to me, I'd have... eight nickels.

softblondechick

I suggest you equip yourself with hip wader boots, welding gloves, and a face mask. Get a can of Raid, and blast the beast, until it is coated white and still moving. Then, when you are almost asphyxiated, stomp it to death.

Pick up the toxic pieces and toss them in a trash outside.

The alternative solution involves nuclear options. I could explain the process of fusion, but this site would get shut down for national security reasons.

haleklausen

I wonder what you can get for 40cents these days ?

zcb94

Good call, showing mercy. After all, insects like spiders are part of Creation, from Day 5, to be precise. Besides, killing is wrong. It says so in the Commandments.