I really, really need help. It's becoming too tough.

ahoy_m8

Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »

PeachyPlum wrote: »

@Of_Monsters_and_Meat @Cookiejo2270 Have you even been reading the thread?

Yup. she wants to hit 130lbs at all costs. I don't think that is a dangerously low weight. She is 171lbs right now. Has had anorexia and bulimia is the past. No idea about bodyfat %.

This means she is eating 1585 calories to maintain that weight. I punched it into IIFIYM calculator.
She would need to eat 1368 calories to have a recommended 15% cut.

I'm suggesting she gets a food scale to be accurate.
What would you recommend?

That OP focus all her energy on the most urgent issue--relapse.

OP, it takes strength to ask for help, and you have shown you have it here. There's a lot of good perspective and genuine concern on this thread. Please take the next steps to get help with relapsing. Hiding it exacerbates it.

MetalMusic

I tend to eat the same foods every day and that keeps me on track. You should try tracking your macros and its really easy to get used to. Making conscious decisions when the cravings hit you is also going to help you stay on track. Good luck!

ASG_21

plasticineporters wrote: »

Do not eat more protein, especially if it is coming from meat and dairy YOU WILL BINGE. Keep it high carb and low fat.

With all due respect... From what I've learned about binge eating disorders, triggers are NOT THE SAME for everyone. High protein might help keep others from binging just because they're feeling very satiated. Perhaps it's triggering to you, but that doesn't mean it's triggering to everyone--Please don't give one-size-fits-all answers to those who are struggling, especially with eating disorders, because it can do more harm than good. All the best.

jennifershoo

Edit: nevermind

janejellyroll

jennifershoo wrote: »

iwantoholdon wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm Michaela, a 19 year old female. I'm 5'7 and I weigh 171 lbs. I live in New York, and I'm starting to give up on myself and I'm seriously struggling. I've struggled with bulimia nervosa and anorexia since I was 11 years old, and I recovered for multiple years but recently relapsed. I'm a few months clean of purging, but the urges and thoughts are not going away. I've been trying to lose weight for the past month and a half with no result. I've hit a weight loss plateu after a 35 lb weight loss and I'm just confused and tired and completely shattered. Please do not tell me to talk to a counselor or get therapy because I can't and won't. I'm in a place right now where all what matters is to be skinny and weigh 130 lbs. Sure, I can start working out more and eating more protein, but I have no plan. I need someone to help.

Please do not be rude as I am on the verge of giving up.

Sorry, we can't tell you that.
You don't want to help yourself, you just want a quick fix.
Not gonna happen.
You are not cured.

If you read the thread, you will see the OP has actually been really receptive to the advice she's been given so far and is planning to reach out for help. I don't think she wants a quick fix -- she was just feeling overwhelmed.

MightyOatmeal

janejellyroll wrote: »

jennifershoo wrote: »

iwantoholdon wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm Michaela, a 19 year old female. I'm 5'7 and I weigh 171 lbs. I live in New York, and I'm starting to give up on myself and I'm seriously struggling. I've struggled with bulimia nervosa and anorexia since I was 11 years old, and I recovered for multiple years but recently relapsed. I'm a few months clean of purging, but the urges and thoughts are not going away. I've been trying to lose weight for the past month and a half with no result. I've hit a weight loss plateu after a 35 lb weight loss and I'm just confused and tired and completely shattered. Please do not tell me to talk to a counselor or get therapy because I can't and won't. I'm in a place right now where all what matters is to be skinny and weigh 130 lbs. Sure, I can start working out more and eating more protein, but I have no plan. I need someone to help.

Please do not be rude as I am on the verge of giving up.

Sorry, we can't tell you that.
You don't want to help yourself, you just want a quick fix.
Not gonna happen.
You are not cured.

If you read the thread, you will see the OP has actually been really receptive to the advice she's been given so far and is planning to reach out for help. I don't think she wants a quick fix -- she was just feeling overwhelmed.

Thank you for making that clear to @jennifershoo = Jennifer, I am not looking for a quick fix. I pray that you never go through bulimia or anorexia because it is not as simple or easy to fix as you may think.

sofaking6

A couple of thoughts:

You were brave enough to reach out here. Calling a hotline is just a small step further, and I know you can do it. Ask the hotline to help you plan out what you would say to a doctor. Ask them for advice on telling your doctor vs seeking out a new one. Talk about your history with your mom and how you can make the call on whether or not to share all of this with her. And when. You don't have to figure everything out at once, just take one step at time.

Also - when I was younger I went through some addiction issues. My family still does not know. I had all of those thoughts, like it's my problem why should anyone else have to deal with it, my parents will be so sad and disappointed, I can fix this on my own...well I did fix it on my own, eventually, after so many lies and so much isolation and pushing away the people closest to me, and SO MUCH loneliness from the keeping of the secret. Secrets are a sickness. I would do it differently if I had it to do over again. I would trust my parents to love me unconditionally. I would see that there are people who have gone through the same thing who are in fact able to help me and make it less difficult. I would accept that being strong is not always being right. I know that stuff is hard, but I'm here to tell you that the alternative is harder.

I'm glad you posted here today.

Espressocycle

If your only goal is to weigh 130 lbs, then give up. Pick a new goal, like not hating yourself.

ShellyBell999

Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »

It's calories in, calories out. Simple science. You are overestimating what you eat. Eat less.
More protein will help you more for ascetics with how your body looks. You have a goal for a number on a scale. This is useless only the total calories are going to matter.

Do you track all your calories? have a food scale and an accurate body scale?

^^Solid advice for the 'general diet and weight loss' thread section.

OP, you have a big group hug going on in here so please take it and get help for your disorder asap

MightyOatmeal

sofaking6 wrote: »

A couple of thoughts:

You were brave enough to reach out here. Calling a hotline is just a small step further, and I know you can do it. Ask the hotline to help you plan out what you would say to a doctor. Ask them for advice on telling your doctor vs seeking out a new one. Talk about your history with your mom and how you can make the call on whether or not to share all of this with her. And when. You don't have to figure everything out at once, just take one step at time.

Also - when I was younger I went through some addiction issues. My family still does not know. I had all of those thoughts, like it's my problem why should anyone else have to deal with it, my parents will be so sad and disappointed, I can fix this on my own...well I did fix it on my own, eventually, after so many lies and so much isolation and pushing away the people closest to me, and SO MUCH loneliness from the keeping of the secret. Secrets are a sickness. I would do it differently if I had it to do over again. I would trust my parents to love me unconditionally. I would see that there are people who have gone through the same thing who are in fact able to help me and make it less difficult. I would accept that being strong is not always being right. I know that stuff is hard, but I'm here to tell you that the alternative is harder.

I'm glad you posted here today.

Thank you tremendously for this. I can't thank you all enough really

MightyOatmeal

ShellyBell999 wrote: »

Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »

It's calories in, calories out. Simple science. You are overestimating what you eat. Eat less.
More protein will help you more for ascetics with how your body looks. You have a goal for a number on a scale. This is useless only the total calories are going to matter.

Do you track all your calories? have a food scale and an accurate body scale?

^^Solid advice for the 'general diet and weight loss' thread section.

OP, you have a big group hug going on in here so please take it and get help for your disorder asap

Espressocycle wrote: »

If your only goal is to weigh 130 lbs, then give up. Pick a new goal, like not hating yourself.

I never said I hate myself.

margfish

iwantoholdon wrote: »

I think I should.. The thing stopping me is, " Oh I'm a few months clean why don't I just recover on my own without telling anyone? " So it's making this hard. Thank you though.

Recovery is more than just not binging/purging or restricting. It's also resetting your priorities so that being 130 pounds ISN'T all that matters. And don't underestimate the power of accountability - if someone knows what you're going through, and checking in with you, it's so much easier to stay on track. Without that, "just one more time" can easily snowball into every day.

Also, as to your plateau, don't underestimate the damage done to the body - and metabolism - after 8+ years of disordered eating. Only time and healthy habits will help that.

Good luck!