Hubby refuses to grasp healthier lifestyle. Help!!!!

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  • Kalici
    Kalici Posts: 685 Member
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    yhealthy2000 wrote: »
    I think what you can do here is to stop telling him and stop educating him for a few weeks. He will start to wonder sooner or later about you not talking to him about healthy eating etc., continue to talk about other stuff as normal. He will feel less pressured and may become open to accepting a more healthy lifestyle. Just keep cooking your yummy healthy food:). As far as his not eating breakfast or lunch...his body is adapted to that...I am not sure you can change that. I have a brother who does not eat breakfast or lunch! But eats big dinner:)

    I agree with pretty much all of this. I don't eat breakfast because it makes me feel sick if I do. I will also add that when I was smoking if people started talking at me about not doing it, it really just made me double down on it. I'd get annoyed, which would stress me and then I'd smoke more. I think a lot of people who over eat are probably similar with eating.
  • ksnurse25
    ksnurse25 Posts: 62 Member
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    foxlme wrote: »
    No advice- all I want to say that you are a great wife for being so concerned about your family. It's hard to watch a loved one make poor choices and you are a strong woman for trying to speak up about it. What to do next, is whatever YOU feel is right. Good for you for being concerned for him, that comes with being married. A lot of negativity lurks around these blogs and I just wanted to point out the positive. :)

    Thank you so much. I am surprised with the amount of negativity. I was searching for perspective and guidance and received so much more. You are one of the few people who shared something positive. I called and talked to my hubby about how many people discussed divorce. I told him I was so sorry for being a horrible, impossible, annoying, nagging wife. After a good laugh he told me yeah.....now don't do it again! It amazes me how many people just go to divorce when things get tough. I have always been taught and live by working things out....and by being honest. Sue me for giving a you know what! I don't give up on my love ones because.....I love them. That....is that in a nutshell.
  • Oscarinmiami
    Oscarinmiami Posts: 326 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Can't force him....nagging wont help we hate nagging. Don't buy any junk food only buy fruits and veggies and no sodas, hopefully he will get the hint, and if not I am sorry to say you will be a widow soon, so make sure to double up on life insurance so you and your daughter will be okay.
  • sjadev1108
    sjadev1108 Posts: 26 Member
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    To be honest, this is the hardest thing I had to learn during my divorce......he didn't change AT ALL, I did!! I kept saying, "well he does this and I hated that" or "he is so lazy" and finally my mom said "yeah, he's exactly who you married". Unfortunately she was right. It is really not appropriate or nice of you to be punishing him and nagging him for what he ALWAYS was and who YOU fell in love with. You are the one who is different now, and you would most assuredly be complaining if he were asking you to go back to the person HE married. I think your choices are wonderful and obviously much healthier, but this is like a religion, and no one wants religion shoved down their throat. Especially if you have know from the beginning he was never a "church-goer". Pardon the analogy. I'm sorry, but you need to figure out how much this bothers you, and then deal with that part of it, or let it go if you decide it isn't that big of a deal.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    ksnurse25 wrote: »
    Well I took a majority of the blog's advice and just went and had a discussion with the hubs. First I started out with the news of our good friend just having his 3rd heart cath. He now is limited in his activities of daily living. I told him I was discussing our situation in a blog and he is aware that I was looking for advice (for those that were giving me the evil eye for discussing our family health issues in none the less than.....a support group *gasp*). I told him that I love him and want him around for a long time. I also told him that I will no longer be saying anything to him about what he is eating or the lack of activity. He still will be asked to join us when we go for walks and such. I told him that the ball is in his court and it is up to him. As soon as he decides to....I will be right behind him to support him. Thank you all for your advice and I feel very good about this.
    It sounds to me like you two have a very open and honest relationship and that's fabulous! You're in the right place and all that he needs is for things to fall into place to be ready for change. All of us who are here had that "light switch" moment where it all clicked into place. For each of us that moment was different and brought about by different circumstances. All you can do until he has his is continue to provide a good example and be ready when he is.

    Best wishes to you both!

  • ksnurse25
    ksnurse25 Posts: 62 Member
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    is there a way to delete forums? Hubs and I got this worked out and I appreciate all the help. We both got a good laugh out of it after coming to a mutual agreement.
  • ksnurse25
    ksnurse25 Posts: 62 Member
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    [/quote]
    It sounds to me like you two have a very open and honest relationship and that's fabulous! You're in the right place and all that he needs is for things to fall into place to be ready for change. All of us who are here had that "light switch" moment where it all clicked into place. For each of us that moment was different and brought about by different circumstances. All you can do until he has his is continue to provide a good example and be ready when he is.

    Best wishes to you both!

    [/quote]

    Thank you! That's what I told him...that I will be ready when he is to support him 100%.

  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    ksnurse25 wrote: »
    is there a way to delete forums? Hubs and I got this worked out and I appreciate all the help. We both got a good laugh out of it after coming to a mutual agreement.
    Not that I have found, unfortunately. I don't start posts often but there have been one or two that have gone south I wished I could have deleted. It's amazing how many people don't actually read all of the way through a thread before deciding to comment. It makes them look a little silly when they're giving advice on something that has already been resolved.

    My advice would just be to stop watching the thread. You should be able to click on the star to do that. I know that since it's resolved that's what I'll be doing. :smile:
  • ksnurse25
    ksnurse25 Posts: 62 Member
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    SueInAz wrote: »
    [
    My advice would just be to stop watching the thread. You should be able to click on the star to do that. I know that since it's resolved that's what I'll be doing. :smile:

    Greatest advice I have seen yet! Thanks :)
  • HelenWater
    HelenWater Posts: 232 Member
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    ksnurse25 wrote: »
    SueInAz wrote: »
    [
    My advice would just be to stop watching the thread. You should be able to click on the star to do that. I know that since it's resolved that's what I'll be doing. :smile:

    Greatest advice I have seen yet! Thanks :)

    If you ask for advice and then people give it, maybe you could say thanks!

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