Take things to the next level
soldiergrl_101
Posts: 2,205 Member
in Chit-Chat
If you are interested in taking things to the next level with a long time friends how do you do it without making the situation awkward...Do you pounce on them like a dog in heat and hope they accept the advance or maybe some alcohol LOL. How would you do it?
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Replies
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Definitely get a drink on board
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Wine?0
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asflatasapancake wrote: »That's pretty much it. Drinking and pouncing. Let the rest figure itself out.
Would work for me!0 -
The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)0
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)
Only 1 way to find out!0 -
soldiergrl_101 wrote: »The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)
So what is it that you want because to me these two options are both the same if I want to get serious with the person.0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »soldiergrl_101 wrote: »The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)
Unless they are gay or married, most guys that I know would go along with it.
Yeah, most guys in the "friend zone" aren't there by their choice...0 -
Personally, I'd just ask.0
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »If you are interested in taking things to the next level with a long time friends how do you do it without making the situation awkward...
What level are you on now and what level are you shooting for?
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Well normally im never scared to make the first move...but in this case he is very hard to read. I'm not looking to start a long term relationship, just see where it goes...but I dont know if I can rely on him to make the first move he is shy. He was my high school boyfriend way way back in the day and the relationship was too juvenile to really count. Ive finally come home after ten years so I want to see if any thing is there we have been hanging out alot and we talked while I was gone. How should I do it, I dont even know if I am still his type
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Well normally im never scared to make the first move...but in this case he is very hard to read. I'm not looking to start a long term relationship, just see where it goes...but I dont know if I can rely on him to make the first move he is shy. He was my high school boyfriend way way back in the day and the relationship was too juvenile to really count. Ive finally come home after ten years so I want to see if any thing is there we have been hanging out alot and we talked while I was gone. How should I do it, I dont even know if I am still his type
So you still like him. Does he know this? If he does not then why is that?
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Go for it....drink, pounce, bed? lol0
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Ive given off all the signs that I like him0
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Ive given off all the signs that I like him
Have you said 'i like you'? boys don't often notice 'signs'0 -
soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Ive given off all the signs that I like him
You said he is shy. From my experience, I do not pick up all these so called signs. Watch him not really know for sure you want him until the clothes are gone.
Also I see you have not just came out of told him you still like him.
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TavistockToad wrote: »soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Ive given off all the signs that I like him
Have you said 'i like you' boys don't often notice 'signs'
That's for dam sure, I just dont want to *kitten* it up. I figured I'd see if any fellow MFPrs had a similar situation
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Kiss him on the ear. If he asks you what you were doing, just say you thought you saw some barbeque sauce. Then you can say, 'Should I stop?'. Then he can either say 'Yes' or 'No'. If you need to know how to do the rest, I would need some more time to prepare a document for you.
Lmao this is awesome, I had a similar idea in mind since we are taking a day trip via train to NYC Saturday. I was like hmmm I need to find a cleaver way to be like its late we should just get a room and leave early tomorrow and then go from there haha. But that is probably too obvious
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Honestly just get it out in the open and say it. Saves time, worry, heartache etc. You know, it's the Band aid theory just jerk it off already and get it over with. I couldn't imagine a guy that is not otherwise committed saying "no lets just be pals".0
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You say you have given him signs. I'd like to know what these are to determine whether or not they are overt or covert. Something you might see as a huge sign may not be viewed that way by him. Also, how is his self esteem? I know from personal experience that even though I recognized signs, i simply thought that there was no way the girl liked me and convinced myself I was misinterpreting them.
You know what might also be good? Just coming out and saying that you want to explore the feelings to see if they are legitimate or if they are just something that you are remembering from the past. This way you are on the same page - no guarantees. I mean, what if he has been pining for you for 10 years, and you pounce on him and decide it's not for you? That's probably going to sting a little.
But if you let him know up front, that you aren't sure and want to test the waters, then you don't give him an unrealistic expectation.
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I like the bbq sauce idea, that'd work for me. But, I also think just coming out with it and being truthful is the best approach. I'm a shy guy and I can tell you that "signs" don't work. I can convince myself that all of those "signs" mean something else altogether. I also think that he isn't hanging out with you just because you're buds. I'm guessing there's some interest on his part.0
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Just start humping him & hope he gives in. jk. 0
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wolverine66 wrote: »You say you have given him signs. I'd like to know what these are to determine whether or not they are overt or covert. Something you might see as a huge sign may not be viewed that way by him. Also, how is his self esteem? I know from personal experience that even though I recognized signs, i simply thought that there was no way the girl liked me and convinced myself I was misinterpreting them.
You know what might also be good? Just coming out and saying that you want to explore the feelings to see if they are legitimate or if they are just something that you are remembering from the past. This way you are on the same page - no guarantees. I mean, what if he has been pining for you for 10 years, and you pounce on him and decide it's not for you? That's probably going to sting a little.
But if you let him know up front, that you aren't sure and want to test the waters, then you don't give him an unrealistic expectation.
I think his self confidence is pretty high, not arrogantly so but enough to make a move if he wants. That said my resume intimidates most guys and with him knowing me since before I left for the military and began working at MIT I think it intimidates him. Like he thinks he wouldn't be good enough, I know a few guys who have told me that.
As far as the signs, just the normal flirting things most chicks do eye contact, texting...I have also been out of the game for about 5 years so I probably dont even know how to flirt as well as I used to come to think about it
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Whats a good line.. "You have really sexy eyes, lets hump!"0
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Whats a good line.. "You have really sexy eyes, lets hump!"
See ur learning already haha
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angelxbaby714 wrote: »soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Whats a good line.. "You have really sexy eyes, lets hump!"
See ur learning already haha
Haha I do what I can. I could use one of my buddies lines... "I wanna be on you"
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Just ask yourself, is it worth it? Do you guys go out and eat together, go to the movies, or just hang out and bs with friends? Do you guys already do "couples" stuff, and if so, just ask. If not, I wouldn't risk it.0
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Most of our friends are with the same people that's how we met years back we all chilled with the same crew. Lately when we hang out though its just the two of us0
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Kiss him on the ear. If he asks you what you were doing, just say you thought you saw some barbeque sauce. Then you can say, 'Should I stop?'. Then he can either say 'Yes' or 'No'. If you need to know how to do the rest, I would need some more time to prepare a document for you.
This is just...AWESOME!!0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Whats a good line.. "You have really sexy eyes, lets hump!"
I prefer "How bout we get a pizza, and screw?".
& if they say "wtf" just say "what? U don't like pizza" lmao!
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soldiergrl_101 wrote: »Most of our friends are with the same people that's how we met years back we all chilled with the same crew. Lately when we hang out though its just the two of us
I was in the same boat. If you can see him on the next level, just ask. There's no exact science to this. he either feels the same about you or he doesn't. Is he going out with other women, does he have dates, does he flirt with other women around you? Is he a player? A great friend who will have a shoulder for you to lean on? So much to consider. Like I said, just ask.0
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