Of course I want some sesame chicken and fried rice. Stop asking.

hydrocooled

So I'm biking yesterday. Pushing peddles like a champ. Looking forward to a bowl of homemade veggie stew and my phone rings. It's my partner who's got a hankering for Chinese. He's about to go for takeout and he wants to know if I want anything.
?! Dammit of course I do. I will take one of everything on the menu. Dear lord why, Oh why couldn't he just go on without me. And before you ask, this is New Orleans, there is no healthy option on a Chinese takeout menu and he knows it.
Here's the thing, my partner is that one-lil-meal-won't-hurt-you guy and he's kinda right but I sometimes feel like he's (unwittingly) trying to sabotage my efforts.

Do you sometimes feel the people around you are not being helpful in your journey towards health?

How do you get them to respect your new lifestyle?

How much support can you reasonably expect from close family and friends?

Advice please because Im seriously about to drop kick the next friend who says I look great and then offers me gourmet doughnut.

jemhh

hydrocooled wrote: »

So I'm biking yesterday. Pushing peddles like a champ. Looking forward to a bowl of homemade veggie stew and my phone rings. It's my partner who's got a hankering for Chinese. He's about to go for takeout and he wants to know if I want anything.
?! Dammit of course I do. I will take one of everything on the menu. Dear lord why, Oh why couldn't he just go on without me. And before you ask, this is New Orleans, there is no healthy option on a Chinese takeout menu and he knows it.
Here's the thing, my partner is that one-lil-meal-won't-hurt-you guy and he's kinda right but I sometimes feel like he's (unwittingly) trying to sabotage my efforts.

Do you sometimes feel the people around you are not being helpful in your journey towards health?

How do you get them to respect your new lifestyle?

How much support can you reasonably expect from close family and friends?

Advice please because Im seriously about to drop kick the next friend who says I look great and then offers me gourmet doughnut.

The only support I expected from the get go from my husband was not pressuring me to eat when I didn't want to or pressure to skip exercise for a non-necessary reason. He has always supported me in those ways. He does more, which I appreciate and which includes weighing out my food if I'm not home in time for supper and he has to make me a plate, considering what kind of food I am likely to want if he's planning the meal, telling our daughter not to bug mommy while I'm exercising, etc. I love that he does all of that and I make sure that he knows it.

I, personally, don't think that checking with you to see if you want something to eat is a terrible thing. I mean, it was a phone call. He wasn't prying your mouth open and pouring food down your gullet. If my husband is running out to McDonald's, he'll usually ask if I want a coffee and if I don't, I don't. But sometimes I want a coffee and a quarter pounder and that gives me a chance to say so. It's not undermining me for him to be considerate and ask if I want anything. I like to assume positive intent when it comes to communicating with my husband and it generally is the best route to go.

fallenoaks4

My husband offers me food all the time. He's being considerate by inquiring about my wants and needs. I either say no thanks or adjust the rest of the days totals and fit it in. Not a big deal.

tulips_and_tea

hydrocooled wrote: »

So I'm biking yesterday. Pushing peddles like a champ. Looking forward to a bowl of homemade veggie stew and my phone rings. It's my partner who's got a hankering for Chinese. He's about to go for takeout and he wants to know if I want anything.
?! Dammit of course I do. I will take one of everything on the menu. Dear lord why, Oh why couldn't he just go on without me. And before you ask, this is New Orleans, there is no healthy option on a Chinese takeout menu and he knows it.
Here's the thing, my partner is that one-lil-meal-won't-hurt-you guy and he's kinda right but I sometimes feel like he's (unwittingly) trying to sabotage my efforts.

Do you sometimes feel the people around you are not being helpful in your journey towards health?

How do you get them to respect your new lifestyle?

How much support can you reasonably expect from close family and friends?

Advice please because Im seriously about to drop kick the next friend who says I look great and then offers me gourmet doughnut.

Hahaha! Sorry, that made me laugh. Good advice from the previous posters. Yes, it's hard to turn down food you really like, but placing the blame on someone else very rarely helps.

I look at it this way, if you'd come home from your ride and he was eating Chinese food and didn't even offer to get you anything, would you be mad? I say, just appreciate the phone call with the offer. If there is a way to have him get you or make you something else, suggest that. Otherwise, at least he thought to ask, right?

I honestly can't remember the last time I ate fast food, yet every time my husband goes to pick some up he'll ask me. He knows I don't like it, nor does he want me to eat something that would make me sick, but I'm thankful for the thought.

Cactusedd

I know that pain But, as the others said, try to see the good intent behind it.
I personally often catch myself getting really grumpy when people (especially those I live with) ask me whether I would like things they know I shouldn't have. The key is patience, deep breath, count to 3 before responding, remember that they love you and this is why they want to share their meal/fun with you.

mhesselein

In New Orleans? mmm, cala cakes at the Coffee Pot...wait, where were we? Just assume the best as to his motives, and be proud that you exercised that willpower muscle to say no. And don't let him dish up your plate.

Marlene1667

My X husband (X part being key :-) ) used to do this all the time. As soon as my weight loss would start to be noticeable suddenly my favourite foods would start showing up, and we're talking about a person who wouldn't normally go out of his way to do nice things for me.

I think you need to let your partner know that you appreciate him thinking of you but you would like his support and need his help. Be very up front and tell him that it is difficult for you to say no and would appreciate not being asked. Also let him know that you won't be angry if he orders and he didn't ask you if you wanted any. Lets face it some guys really have trouble figuring out what we need and you have to be REALLY clear.

All best and good luck!