Is there such thing as a rude compliment?

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  • Amerielle
    Amerielle Posts: 153 Member
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    People can't win no matter what. Next up will be a post about how someone has lost 40 lbs and no one has said anything.
  • DrunkInAGolfCart
    DrunkInAGolfCart Posts: 57 Member
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    There really is. Early this year I had one girl tell me how "gorgeous" I look in some of my Facebook pictures. Her words: "You were so pretty when you were younger"

    The pictures in question were only 3 years (when I was 25) and 70lbs ago. I tried not to take offense because her intention wasn't to offend.

    It's about intention for me. There are those who do actively seek to offend in a really gross, insidious way. Then there are just those who need sensitivity training. For instance when I told my old dad I was seeking to lose weight he laughed and said "Bout time, love! You've let yourself go a bit in the past year. Looks like you've cleaned out a pie shop!". I even laughed when he said that because I know he'd never actively seek to hurt me.
  • BlueSkyShoal
    BlueSkyShoal Posts: 325 Member
    edited May 2015
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    I don't agree with it being the intention. People can be rude while still being well-meaning. They can also be polite while not being sincere at all. (Not being mean, but indifferent.) Some of my extended family have the sincere-but-very-rude thing down pat.

    Here's an example: One of my aunts was worried that her daughter (my cousin) had too much on her plate with caring for her kids and homeschooling. So her solution was to tell my cousin's husband how much more carefree and creative she had been before she got married, and to list off all the hobbies my cousin no longer had time for.

    Awful, right? But here's the thing, my aunt genuinely meant well and wasn't TRYING to insult the husband or the marriage. There isn't a mean bone in her body. But she can be reeeeally socially clueless. And rude.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »
    When someone compliments you, just smile and say thanks. No reason to get upset about it, as most people are not actively trying to ruin your day just because they can.

    And if they are, pleasantly accepting the thanks without acknowledging the insult is probably the best revenge.

    Dude, this is great advice!

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