Tips for when you want to just give up?

drrae65

I had an extra long day at work today (longer than planned) and because of that I was put in a bad mood, which lead to me not even wanting to go to the gym. Then when I got home I was too lazy to make a meal and I went and ate an embarrassing amount of calories at dairy queen ): In the moment I always want to give up but then a few hours later I'm kicking myself. How do you guys ignore the little voice in your head in moments of weakness such as when I decided I didn't want to go to the gym or that I'd rather eat out?

Sued0nim

say you'll just force yourself to do it today and if you still want to give up tomorrow you will

log it and move on - nobody is perfect - and one day makes no difference

in it for life

chazza55

If my long term goal is to be really determined, i look at a photo of me when i was bigger...that soon changes my mind.

otherwise, cut your self a little slack (not a lot):

rabbitjb wrote: »

say you'll just force yourself to do it today and if you still want to give up tomorrow you will

log it and move on - nobody is perfect - and one day makes no difference

in it for life

Soopatt

I treat myself like an alcoholic around food at the moment. I avoid temptation as much as possible through strategies. Nobody judges an alcoholic for avoiding boozy situations or triggers, so I won't judge myself either.

• I pack all my lunches the night before, as if I have to go out and make a spontaneous lunch choice, I will make the wrong one.
• I plan my meals in advance, particularly if I know I am going to hit the kitchen hungry so I can just grab and munch and not worry about it.
• I log in advance of each meal as if I just dish up the spaghetti first and then weigh and look it up and see that it is more than my allowance can handle, I will feel deprived if I have to take some out the bowl - rather I know the upper limit before I dish it on to the scale, that way, if I can have as much as 150g and the bowl looks fine with 100g in it, I feel as though I had as much as I chose.
• I cook *tempting* foods when I am already full and then portion them out into containers that I can grab. I find if I dish myself a cheesy freshly cooked macaroni when I am hungry, I will go overboard. For example, I cooked todays lunch : bacon and cheese macaroni last night and have it with me in a measured tupperware for lunch.
• I allow small portions of yummy things like pudding into my life pretty much daily - no food is out of bounds - so that I do not start to obsess about anything.
• I log all my food good and bad and move on and forward if a day does not go right. I had a peanut butter and syrup feast last friday that put me well over, but by logging it I was able to absorb in the excess over the weekend with a few small cut backs over the next few days.

Good Luck!

cincysweetheart

I remind myself that this is not meant to be a diet. It's meant to be a real life change. And I remind myself that life happens. Sometimes there are going to be days like that. There are for everybody. The difference between people who somehow manage to stay at a healthy weight and me is not that they never have days like that. The difference is what we do the next day. So I take a deep breath. Forget about it. And move forward again tomorrow.

Lounmoun

Every day is not going to be perfect. Log it and move on. Look at your weekly calories.

Figure out some ways you can keep on track better in future. Have something you can prepare quickly in your freezer. Plan and pre log what you will get from the fast food place. Deal with your stress/emotions with exercise, meditation, music, art, a hot bath, massage, talking to someone, etc. instead of using it as an excuse to overeat or not move.

I would not exercise if I had to go to the gym to do it. I can make myself do a 30 minute exercise video or walk for a bit even if I don't feel excited. If I am not having a great day it often makes me feel better.

snowflake954

Life happens and we have to be flexible. Things like this have happened to us all. Having a massive guilt trip only makes it worse. Today is a new day, start again,and possibly try to get in an extra walk if you can, take the stairs, etc. It's a weekly thing, or monthly if you want to look at it that way. You can choose to make up those extra calories over time. As the others have mentioned, be careful to not make it a habit, and plan better. Alot of wise advice. Best, and success.

KeepTheFaith9

Some great advice here. Posts and responses like these are why MFP is so worthwhile to help us with our challenges.

TimothyFish

This is why lack of sleep leads to weight gain. If you find yourself coming home so tired that you don't eat properly, you may need to work on your work/life balance.

TimothyFish

This is why lack of sleep leads to weight gain. If you find yourself coming home so tired that you don't eat properly, you may need to work on your work/life balance.

callsitlikeiseeit

I have plenty of days where I don't want to do it.

but then i remember i dont want to be fat, i enjoy being smaller and feeling healthier (and being healthier), and ive given away most of my bigger clothes anyways, so i haul my butt to the gym.

drrae65

thanks everyone, all your replies were really great and helpful! i'll try use some of your tips, your advice is pretty motivating! (:

wizzybeth

rabbitjb wrote: »

say you'll just force yourself to do it today and if you still want to give up tomorrow you will

log it and move on - nobody is perfect - and one day makes no difference

in it for life

This is what I do. I say "Just finish out today...." and I usually "get over" my funk by the next day.

I do talk myself out of blowing my calories goals for the day quite frequently...but sometimes I do cave and overeat. The difference now is that I give myself permission to "fail" and CONTINUE. I used to STOP when I failed. Saying dumb things like "You'll never get where you want to be, you're just always going to eat like this, give it up...stop fooling yourself, etc.." Which is why I've been on MFP since 2013 and have only just now begun to really be on a roll and stayed on that roll...previously I'd lose 15 or 20 lbs and then have a "bad day" then be depressed and not log in...then not log in again, next it's a week...and I said "What's the use..." etc.

Now I just pick myself up and say "Ok, that was bad, but the rest of today is going to be back on track again." Not tomorrow with continued binges until then. Today. Starting NOW.

And I find that the more I give myself permission to fall, and then get up and continue....the less I fall. If that makes sense.

cdcllcga01

Life definitely happens to everyone - so don't feel like you are alone. I agree with everyone else that one bad day here or there is irrelevant in the long run. On the food front, I keep a "backup plan" for the times when our schedule just gets trashed and we have to react. On the home front, I almost always have some lean deli meat in the fridge and can make a 400-ish calorie sandwich in a few moments. My wife keeps a micro-wave lean cuisine type meal in the freezer. When even that is too much, we might go to Wendy's and get a chili and iced tea - though not very often.

On the gym front, I find the most difficult thing is to get started. If I can just get myself to start, the rest is easy and I've never been disappointed that I went to the gym once I'm actually there - and always feel really good about myself when I went but didn't really want to.

I think there was some good advice above on work-life balance that you may reflect upon. For years, my answer was my career goals took priority over my personal goals. It caught up with me in a bad way and I had to reactively make drastic changes (see my profile for more details). Since I've made changes, it's amazing the number of really successful people I know that live a much more balanced work vs. professional life than I ever considered possible. Although I have no real regrets (just wishes!), I think I'd do things differently if I got a "do over".

the_nerdgasm

What's been working for me lately is this thought process.

If I give up now, where will I be in a year? Five years? Ten years?
If I don't give up now, where will I be in a year, or five years, or ten years?

I've only lost 21 pounds so far, and I still have a hundred pounds left to go. Those first 20 were hard, do I really want to gain some of them back by going back to my old eating ways? And I get up in the morning to workout (I do boxing), and it's hard sometimes, and I'm tired. But then I think...if I just keep doing this, imagine how freaking strong I'll be by 2016. I'll be stronger than I've ever been in my entire life. And imagine how amazing I'll be in five years!

That's my motivation

ninerbuff

There will ALWAYS be a bad day. Just don't make it a back to back consistency. You'll be somewhere in a year, 5 years, 10 years down the road. Thing is will you be BETTER or worse? Choose better.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

katherine_startrek_fan

I agree with those above who say you let it go andmove on. The other thing is that I only do workouts that I can do at home or in my neighborhood. It's more sustainable for me to run around the neighborhood or pop in a workout video than deal with the extra time and money of going to the gym.

SLLRunner

drrae65 wrote: »

I had an extra long day at work today (longer than planned) and because of that I was put in a bad mood, which lead to me not even wanting to go to the gym. Then when I got home I was too lazy to make a meal and I went and ate an embarrassing amount of calories at dairy queen ): In the moment I always want to give up but then a few hours later I'm kicking myself. How do you guys ignore the little voice in your head in moments of weakness such as when I decided I didn't want to go to the gym or that I'd rather eat out?

My first piece of advice is to let it go....and I hope that Dairy Queen was good too!

Planning is important. I plan and log my food ahead of time so that I know exactly what I will be eating, but I leave a few hundred calories for those times when something could change. For example, yesterday at work one of my wonderful colleagues brought bagels to work, and made it a point to bring jam too because she knows I'm lactose intolerant. I had 1/4 of a bagel with some jam, logged it in, and enjoyed it.

If you eat over your calories for one day, don't worry about it. I often save up calories from other days so that I have a bank to draw from when I want something a little more caloric. It's the weekly balance that matters, and eating over once in a while does not seem to affect my weight. It's when I start overeating often or all the time when I gain weight.

As for giving up--it was only when I deprived myself of the foods I love that I felt like giving up, and often did. When I started eating all the foods I love in moderation a few years back, that urge to give up went away. In fact, in the year it took me to lose 44 pounds, and in the one plus year that I've been maintaining, I have not felt like giving up one single time. I am so used to eating in moderation now that (1) if I do go over, I don't beat myself up and (2) eating like I do now is a way of life.

I hope some of this is helpful to you.

KBmoments

cincysweetheart wrote: »

I remind myself that this is not meant to be a diet. It's meant to be a real life change. And I remind myself that life happens. Sometimes there are going to be days like that. There are for everybody. The difference between people who somehow manage to stay at a healthy weight and me is not that they never have days like that. The difference is what we do the next day. So I take a deep breath. Forget about it. And move forward again tomorrow.

This is great advice.

jules6669mfp

Soopatt wrote: »

I treat myself like an alcoholic around food at the moment. I avoid temptation as much as possible through strategies. Nobody judges an alcoholic for avoiding boozy situations or triggers, so I won't judge myself either.

• I pack all my lunches the night before, as if I have to go out and make a spontaneous lunch choice, I will make the wrong one.
• I plan my meals in advance, particularly if I know I am going to hit the kitchen hungry so I can just grab and munch and not worry about it.
• I log in advance of each meal as if I just dish up the spaghetti first and then weigh and look it up and see that it is more than my allowance can handle, I will feel deprived if I have to take some out the bowl - rather I know the upper limit before I dish it on to the scale, that way, if I can have as much as 150g and the bowl looks fine with 100g in it, I feel as though I had as much as I chose.
• I cook *tempting* foods when I am already full and then portion them out into containers that I can grab. I find if I dish myself a cheesy freshly cooked macaroni when I am hungry, I will go overboard. For example, I cooked todays lunch : bacon and cheese macaroni last night and have it with me in a measured tupperware for lunch.
• I allow small portions of yummy things like pudding into my life pretty much daily - no food is out of bounds - so that I do not start to obsess about anything.
• I log all my food good and bad and move on and forward if a day does not go right. I had a peanut butter and syrup feast last friday that put me well over, but by logging it I was able to absorb in the excess over the weekend with a few small cut backs over the next few days.

Good Luck!
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Great advice/suggestions. I've been here 71days and get a lot out of reading all the ideas/posts.