Hate photos of yourself? There's a good reason for that...
Alatariel75
Posts: 18,342 Member
I posted this in another thread, but thought it was worth a thread of its own, because it might help some people feel better about the way they feel about photos of themselves.
There is actually a psychological reason for why we don't like ourselves in pictures.
You see yourself every day, in the mirror, walking past windows, reflected in the screen of our phone, over and over again. And, with few exceptions, we're seeing the mirror image of ourselves, and that's what we're used to and intimately familiar with.
We aren't symmetrical, and while the differences in the way we see ourselves in a mirror vs a photo can be minor, to our brains - which are so familiar with our features - those differences stand out like beacons. Think about how you can notice the most minor change in your body before it is evident to someone else, like the onset of a cold sore or a pimple. Looking at a photo of ourselves is like looking at a slightly altered, skewed vision of ourselves. Freckles are on the wrong side, slightly asymmetrical eyebrows are reversed, the boob that's bigger than the other one is now on the wrong side.... And those minor differences distort our perception of the picture. To ourselves we look subtly but assuredly wrong. We’re a subtle caricature of ourselves, and we immediately don’t like it.
Here's a short video and an explanation about it I found, and there's lots more info out there on it.
http://petapixel.com/2012/07/11/why-we-hate-seeing-photos-of-ourselves/
What I think is interesting is that if you use photoshop to flip the photo of yourself, you'll like it more, but other people won't because they will have the same issue we do with the original photo.
So yeah, don’t freak out that you don’t like yourself in photos!! It’s not that you look bad, it’s that your brain can’t cope and shies away. Next time you look at a photo and hate the way you look, just blame your subconscious and know that it’s just your psyche messing with you. And when your friend complains about how awful they look, and you think they're nuts - you're kind of right
There is actually a psychological reason for why we don't like ourselves in pictures.
You see yourself every day, in the mirror, walking past windows, reflected in the screen of our phone, over and over again. And, with few exceptions, we're seeing the mirror image of ourselves, and that's what we're used to and intimately familiar with.
We aren't symmetrical, and while the differences in the way we see ourselves in a mirror vs a photo can be minor, to our brains - which are so familiar with our features - those differences stand out like beacons. Think about how you can notice the most minor change in your body before it is evident to someone else, like the onset of a cold sore or a pimple. Looking at a photo of ourselves is like looking at a slightly altered, skewed vision of ourselves. Freckles are on the wrong side, slightly asymmetrical eyebrows are reversed, the boob that's bigger than the other one is now on the wrong side.... And those minor differences distort our perception of the picture. To ourselves we look subtly but assuredly wrong. We’re a subtle caricature of ourselves, and we immediately don’t like it.
Here's a short video and an explanation about it I found, and there's lots more info out there on it.
http://petapixel.com/2012/07/11/why-we-hate-seeing-photos-of-ourselves/
What I think is interesting is that if you use photoshop to flip the photo of yourself, you'll like it more, but other people won't because they will have the same issue we do with the original photo.
So yeah, don’t freak out that you don’t like yourself in photos!! It’s not that you look bad, it’s that your brain can’t cope and shies away. Next time you look at a photo and hate the way you look, just blame your subconscious and know that it’s just your psyche messing with you. And when your friend complains about how awful they look, and you think they're nuts - you're kind of right
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Good thread, and possibly might help others who do seem to critique their photos too harshly. I've kinda fairly recently came to terms with the fact that I must have fallen from the top of the ugly tree hitting every branch on the way down.
However on a more positive note I think a smile and a kindly attitude are long term more important!
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I hate having my photo taken by someone else. I always look ugly
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Ha! This actually makes a little bit of sense! Stupid brain! There's also the fact that people we know tend to talk to our faces. I might lament my stomach in a mirror but I doubt my coworkers pay it any special attention.
I also recall reading that, when you love someone, they become more attractive to you. Don't know if it's true but I think my husband is way hotter now than when I met him 8 years ago!0 -
Wow. You are good.
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Nah. The reason I hate seeing pictures of myself is because they show me that I'm a lot fatter than I think of myself. Now that I've lost most of my excess weight, I don't care anymore. Take the picture below, for example. I hate how I look in the picture on the left, but I'm okay with the one on the right and now that I've lost even more weight, a picture is just a picture.
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nice thread! I see a lot of ppl on here talking about how they hate looking at pics of themselves so this might help them out.0
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That's actually very interesting. It's funny how our mind messes with our emotions negatively so much.0
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I think this is why I can see progress better in a photo than the mirror. I'm far less critical of other people than myself, so seeing myself looking slightly different, I can be more objective. Like my brain thinks, "That's not me. That just someone who resembles me."0
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I have this problem, been told I may have 'body dysmorphia'. I panic at having my photo taken so it doesn't happen, someone tried to get my in their selfie and I almost sent them flying trying to break free of their deadly kung fu photo grip. I spend frequent amounts of time staring at my face in the mirror looking at what's changed - ever see the advert where the voiceover says women spend at least x amounts of time in front of the mirror checking to see what's changed? I laughed at that, just women? I've avoided going outside at all for the entire day because I overate and am worried people will think I'm fat and covered my eyes when walking past a mirror or reflective surface. I also wear a hoody constantly because it feels comfortable being able to 'hide' in something and I can pull it up over my chin as I'm so used to hiding my chin from years ago when I had more than one.0
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Interesting.
I've never liked photos of myself because they don't feel like me. I haven't tried flipping the image though. I'll have to try that.0 -
Heh, on the rare occasion someone wants me in a picture I try to get out of it. Maybe part of it is psychological, but I just look like crap on photos. I never seen a photo of myself I like. Now it begs the question how do I look in rl, I can't judge that, I am not handsome but I don't really have as much problem with a mirror as I have with photos. Dunno... some people look better on photos than in reality. I sort of envy them a little.
Interesting topic...0 -
scottacular wrote: »I have this problem, been told I may have 'body dysmorphia'. I panic at having my photo taken so it doesn't happen, someone tried to get my in their selfie and I almost sent them flying trying to break free of their deadly kung fu photo grip. I spend frequent amounts of time staring at my face in the mirror looking at what's changed - ever see the advert where the voiceover says women spend at least x amounts of time in front of the mirror checking to see what's changed? I laughed at that, just women? I've avoided going outside at all for the entire day because I overate and am worried people will think I'm fat and covered my eyes when walking past a mirror or reflective surface. I also wear a hoody constantly because it feels comfortable being able to 'hide' in something and I can pull it up over my chin as I'm so used to hiding my chin from years ago when I had more than one.
I have BDD too. Its coupled with a 17 year eating disorder, so I know what you mean about big clothes to hide yourself.0 -
I only have this issue when I am overweight. When I'm at a normal BMI, I feel I look pretty good in photos. 0
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Something to think about: if you hate your picture because it is a mirror image of what you expect, how do you explain people hating their picture when they take a selfie while standing in front of a mirror and taking a picture?0
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crazyjerseygirl wrote: »Ha! This actually makes a little bit of sense! Stupid brain! There's also the fact that people we know tend to talk to our faces. I might lament my stomach in a mirror but I doubt my coworkers pay it any special attention.
I also recall reading that, when you love someone, they become more attractive to you. Don't know if it's true but I think my husband is way hotter now than when I met him 8 years ago!
My husband's face totally transformed from when I first met him. I SWEAR!!!!!! I still remember my first impression of him, and I just can't see it in him. He's still gorgeous to me. He, um, wasn't when I first met him.
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This is interesting. I've always hated pictures of myself (hence my anime character avatar). Over the years, I've learned to be the one taking the picture so I never have to be included. I just figured it had to do with self-esteem and how I never seemed to fit the ideal image I had of myself in my head.0
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I guess I'm weird...I like looking at pictures of myself doing awesome things. Last night I was going through an album from my scuba and beach adventures in Honduras a few years back...I look like I'm having a grand old time and my wife and I have decided we need to go on another vacation like that soon.
My wife thinks it's kind of weird too...I'm always asking her to snap a photo of me doing this that or the other...when she on the other hand hates having her picture taken even though she's stunningly beautiful.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »Nah. The reason I hate seeing pictures of myself is because they show me that I'm a lot fatter than I think of myself. Now that I've lost most of my excess weight, I don't care anymore. Take the picture below, for example. I hate how I look in the picture on the left, but I'm okay with the one on the right and now that I've lost even more weight, a picture is just a picture.
Look at you! Good work. 0 -
Nice conversation starter!
I'm fine with pictures of myself now, except my nose- I have never like my nose. I hated pictures of myself when I was fat, though.0 -
Even when I wasn't overweight (which I will see again) I didn't like pictures. I hate my teeth because I have a noticeable overbite. I try to smile without showing my teeth, but just leaves me looking strained and a little scared. I know what side of the camera I prefer to be on.1
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Interesting. Oh, our brains, they think they run the joint. We are in the age of the selfie & it is useful online: I like seeing other's photo image because it's an expression of who they are; it's information. I hate when the real person image is missing; I find it disappointing not to have that visual info & a bit creepy. I def get sick of seeing my own face, and so I change it often. My sister had a theory that the image of ourselves we hate now, we will appreciate later, much later. Like it or not, I consider the self photo kind of an online courtesy and just try to have fun with it. I especially like when people's personalities are evident in the picture.
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I'm fine with pictures of myself as long as I take them. My husband, who used to have a photography hobby, cannot take a decent picture of me to save his life.0
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TimothyFish wrote: »Something to think about: if you hate your picture because it is a mirror image of what you expect, how do you explain people hating their picture when they take a selfie while standing in front of a mirror and taking a picture?
I don't mind my picture being taken. I'm only bothered when someone puts me up front because I'm short, or tries to get me to smile (I have sh** teeth).
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Cindy4FunFit wrote: »Interesting. Oh, our brains, they think they run the joint. We are in the age of the selfie & it is useful online: I like seeing other's photo image because it's an expression of who they are; it's information. I hate when the real person image is missing; I find it disappointing not to have that visual info & a bit creepy. I def get sick of seeing my own face, and so I change it often. My sister had a theory that the image of ourselves we hate now, we will appreciate later, much later. Like it or not, I consider the self photo kind of an online courtesy and just try to have fun with it. I especially like when people's personalities are evident in the picture.
It is interesting what you are saying. I don't use a real photo of myself on the internet much the same way that I don't use my real name for a username because I want to be more private. I only share real photos online with people I know outside of the internet. I never thought that would be creepy or disappointing to an internet stranger. Something to think about.
I do choose an avatar or username to reflect my personality or interests.0 -
Hopefully no one finds me creepy either. In all honesty, when I'm not in the 'woe is me' mindset, I'm just a plain jane sort of gal. I don't need to go hide my face under a bag or anything, but I'm not someone that would particularly catch your eye at the same time.
I have to wonder if this also goes back to the idea that we are often our own worst critics. I have the same issue with artwork I create or stories I write. After some time, all I can see is the flaws - and I see myself more than I see anything else.0 -
Lady_Grell wrote: »Hopefully no one finds me creepy either. In all honesty, when I'm not in the 'woe is me' mindset, I'm just a plain jane sort of gal. I don't need to go hide my face under a bag or anything, but I'm not someone that would particularly catch your eye at the same time.
I have to wonder if this also goes back to the idea that we are often our own worst critics. I have the same issue with artwork I create or stories I write. After some time, all I can see is the flaws - and I see myself more than I see anything else.
No offense intended, but you do sound overly critical of yourself with your replies in this thread.0 -
No offence taken. I know I'm rather critical of myself at times. I'm trying to work on a healthier self-esteem as well as a healthier lifestyle. I'm sort of stuck on the couch today, which had led to me being a bit more down than usual.0
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Cindy4FunFit wrote: »Interesting. Oh, our brains, they think they run the joint. We are in the age of the selfie & it is useful online: I like seeing other's photo image because it's an expression of who they are; it's information. I hate when the real person image is missing; I find it disappointing not to have that visual info & a bit creepy. I def get sick of seeing my own face, and so I change it often. My sister had a theory that the image of ourselves we hate now, we will appreciate later, much later. Like it or not, I consider the self photo kind of an online courtesy and just try to have fun with it. I especially like when people's personalities are evident in the picture.
It is interesting what you are saying. I don't use a real photo of myself on the internet much the same way that I don't use my real name for a username because I want to be more private. I only share real photos online with people I know outside of the internet. I never thought that would be creepy or disappointing to an internet stranger. Something to think about.
I do choose an avatar or username to reflect my personality or interests.
I post pics of myself for a limited time (not on here obviously, but on the one social media account with "strangers" on it). I didn't realize until a couple of years ago that people found it creepy that I didn't post any at all and were concerned that I was catfishing/trolling (or whatever the term would be).
But they're all pics I have taken. I hate the way I look and could count on one hand the number of flattering photos I've seen that others took.
It's weird though--I photographed a bunch of fellow volunteers and needed to put them online and was amazed at the number of people who made negative comments about their appearance. I get that we'd all like to be a little thinner and more attractive, but I truly never thought of these people as ugly or fat or dumpy. I probably would have described most of them with positive words. So I guess that's a comfort to all of us struggling with self-image.0 -
Many people, when they see you IRL or in a photo are looking for what might appeal to them. (Not checking for "flaws"- our own brains have got that covered). Very likely, Someone will like what they see in each of us, despite our disbelief of it. We are all strangers up until we are not, you get a bit further along with some identifying features displayed. ; )0
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Meh. I look like crap in every photo I take. Flipping it doesn't make it any better; I just look like crap in reverse. 0
This discussion has been closed.
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