not feeling pretty

chandramiller68

cortney876 wrote: »

I think its more so me not feeling confident and my mom and sister do feel confident or at least they can hide it better than i can. And since this is my situation they have no reason to look or feel down about whats going on with them. So i was saying he likes the whole natural thing but it seems he more attracted to there confidence and thats what i had 3 years ago and got to comfortable had 2 c sections and im obese according to the scale but im portion all over like if my stomach was gone we will be fine. Its just hard being all natural. When around people that dont get it and when people dont get something they tend to do or say something just because. Like u dont look like me so u gota be in the wrong here. Thats all i was saying . Yes i do probably need to talk to someone. Thats why i got this app and that's why i started venting to this world on here with people that understood what i was struggling everyday at least i thought people could relate mayb i was wrong instead of paying someone to have me talk and have me do what i suggested and say it was there idea.

Hi @cortney876 , you said something that makes sense, your husband is attracted to confidence. Men are attracted to confidence just like women are attracted to confidence. You mentioned you had confidence before and it seems you may have lost your confidence in yourself. That is a key to everyone's happiness and confidence...you must love yourself. You need to be the person you want to be. Please don't worry about what other people look like; every person that walks on this earth has their own insecurities and demons they fight. You need to make yourself beautiful to the most important person in your life...you. Positive energy will reap positive results.

fearlessleader104

This thread made me tired. I'm going to bed.

TimothyFish

The only opinion that really matters is that of your husband. My perspective is this: guys want to be with a woman who is attractive, but that isn't the most important thing. I've met women who were very attractive, until they opened their mouths. I've met women who weren't particularly attractive, but the way they spoke and the way they treated people more than made up for it.

smpomg

I'm sorry you've gotten some rude responses here. You may not be in the correct forum, but that's no reason to be unkind.

I think you should figure out what makes you consider a woman beautiful, and what makes you feel beautiful, and do that. Work out for yourself, buy clothes for yourself, do your hair, nails, and makeup for yourself... or don't! Everyone else's opinion is secondary to your own, and real beauty comes from the confidence we have when we are comfortable with ourselves. Good luck!

athenasurrenders

I almost never wear make up. It just doesn't feel natural for me, I feel self conscious when I put it on because I'm not used to it. Sometimes I look at other ladies who put lots of time into their make up and I feel dull and dowdy by comparison and wish I had their confidence - however - I have had several friends confide that they feel trapped always having to be made up and wish they had my confidence to do without it.

I guess what it comes down to is finding your own self worth and not constantly comparing yourself to others. Stop telling yourself that you're not as attractive as your sister and mother. Life is hard enough without being mean to yourself all the time.

Sued0nim

You're just missing confidence

I rarely wear makeup ..although when I do it makes a difference...but I can strutt and head turn with the best of them when I want to and I'm a 48 year old mum of two

Beauty is about confidence, sexuality is about confidence

Fake it till you make it

And read Maya Angelou. poetryfoundation.org/poem/178942...she knows!

megomerrett

My husband thinks I'm gorgeous in pyjamas, plaits and no makeup. I feel more confident with my brows coloured in, liquid eyeliner flicks and some blusher. Not for other men but so I look better in the mirror!

Same with my weightloss. He thinks I'm hot whatever size I've been (first together at 17 and two kids later at 32 he's seen me in all shapes and sizes) but I want to look a better version of me. I want a waist that goes in!

As for comparing yourself to others, it's hard not to but either do something about it or accept yourself for you.

zacksnana

smrybacki wrote: »

cortney876 wrote: »

When you have your moments which is pretty often when u are trying to lose weight i will like to hear feedback or job well done from my husband but im still figuring out guys are just not program that way to notice things all the time and im trying to fix myself not to care and to keep up the work im doing to improve my self. dont get me he very supportive but i need another outlet to talk about this to

A guy's perspective:

Lose weight, wear (or don't wear) make-up for YOU, not for anyone else. This isn't to say you don't love, care about or respect your husband's opinions. However his approval on any of the things that make you, uniquely you is not strictly required. Your life is truly yours, so own it and don't worry so much about what others may or may not think of you -- even your husband. Start thinking in terms of what you can do that will make you happy with yourself and that will shine through to everyone else in your life. It also may help to realize that even the prettiest girls have hangups just like everyone else and that even though society as a whole may shower attention and overvalue looks and image, it is not what makes you a quality human being in the end -- you are what makes you that.

Agree. Do what makes YOU happy. No one else.