Do people treat you differently since losing weight?

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Replies

  • Lochlyn_D
    Lochlyn_D Posts: 492 Member
    I haven't lost that much yet but I find that people are treating me differently because of my attitude. I have more confidence by the day and I think people see that.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    People like me now. They had to come around to my greatness eventually.
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    Lol, my friends have all stopped talking to me.... Apparently the drinking and partying was all we had in common, now I won't go out Friday nights cause I go to the gym every Saturday morning, and suddenly I'm not good enough anymore....

    Oh well.... LOL
  • GameOfHealthy
    GameOfHealthy Posts: 3
    Yes! Yes! Yes! I've lost 60 pounds and I'm still overweight but there's a lot of men that are being kind to me or even start a conversation. As for stranger women,I haven't noticed anything. Friends treat me the same and are supportive and family members do the same.

    To be honest,I'm flattered because men like me -seriously,i never thought i could be liked- but at the same time it's not fair because I'm the same person after all.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Yes and honestly it has become very annoying...

    I work in IT. This is normally a very male dominated profession. I have been in the field for about 12 years and I have had to fight tooth and nail to be recognized as someone who knows her stuff. When I was heavier people took me more seriously - especially men. I never had to argue with people about something that I told them but now that I have lost almost 60 lbs the guys are starting to be all like 'how you doing' and hitting on me and basically treating me like I'm some dumb chick who just got her job by sleeping around.

    I work contracts mainly so every time I have a new position I have to go through the same thing and quite honestly some days I really wish I was fat again just so I can do my job without the hassle that comes with being attractive to a lot more people than I used to be. I have no idea how the heck to stop this apart from being very direct - which I have had to do a couple of times. Of course then you get the reputation of being 'difficult' so I can't flikkin win.. Any advice in this department would be most appreciated.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    My friends wives all tell me how great I look, then they stare at their husbands guts and grimace....
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
    yes! I get smiled at alot more, by men and women. I do think it's the newly found confidence/higher self esteem. It's not only thinking I look good, but damn I CAN control what I eat and WOW I can run 30 minutes str8t at 39!! I lift weights and look bad *kitten* doing so and I LOVE it!!!
  • TS3g
    TS3g Posts: 74 Member
    I actually get treated a bit worse I think. My family constantly negs me for being "skinny" and tell me I need to eat something. They also give me a lot of flak for the kinds of food I eat, or what I don't. I have gotten some compliments though from people that I haven't seen in a while, which is nice.

    As far as the general public is concerned, no change at all in how they treat me. Females are still oblivious to my existence.
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
    I still have more to lose but I have noticed that since I've lost the majority of weight, men are more friendly (sometimes bordering inappropriate) and women, though complimentary, are also more catty towards me.
  • Adah_m
    Adah_m Posts: 216 Member
    I get treated a LOT different. At work, and even (sadly) by my family. My parents, grandparents, and siblings pretty much all treated me like I was a joke when I was really big. Then I went travelling for work, lost a hundred lbs and suddenly they treat me with respect, they call me to get my opinion and advice on things, they invite me to things they would have left me out of before... sometimes it makes me sad, but when asked about it, my step dad gave me a really truthful answer.
    He said it's hard to be around a person who isn't respecting themself, it's hard to watch, especially if it's your child. You don't know whether to yell at them or cry, and since you want to respect them and not interfere, you have to distance yourself because you just can't watch them being so unhealthy. Once they saw me get healthy and be happy, they were so happy that all of everything they were holding back came on with a vengeance and we're closer than ever. I won a lot of respect from people by doing something this difficult. You guys know, we're all in this together, anyone who has lost weight knows it's the hardest task you will ever tackle. It's the most time consuming and easiest to get derailed from. They know that. When they see success, they're proud of you.
    As far as strangers I notice people are kinder to me, but then again, it's because I hold myself differently too. I'm generally in a good mood, I smile and greet people, and I make a point to compliment people regularly because I know how far it goes. I also think that people are more attracted to other people who seem happy and healthy. It's instinctive to surround yourself with this kind of people. Since getting healthy, I take care of myself more in every way. My teeth are whiter, my skin is brighter, my hair is more shiny and I keep it nice, I have a healthy blush... all things that people find welcoming.
  • menojy
    menojy Posts: 92 Member
    I only noticed a difference from shallow guys (someone who thought I was unappealing in the past but all of a sudden wants to talk to me now), other than that my family, friends, neighbors, etc. they treat me the same. If you smile at people's face they will smile back and treat you nice.
    I really get annoyed by those who treat me differently just because I lost some weight, it's nice to be treated well and all but it always reminds me how shallow they really are ..
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    same as OP. more attention from guys, i'm checked out frequently. also people at work are more comfortably giving me heavy lifting jobs or more physical jobs.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,148 Member
    People flip their shizzle when they see me eating a sweet/dessert. Otherwise, no one cares.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Yeah people are shallow a--holes. I also noticed I started getting a lot more girlfriends and invites out. It's shocking when you dont expect it and went from invisible to visible. Dont let it scare you though keep your head held high.
  • springs47
    springs47 Posts: 82 Member
    I've been noticing an increase in (mostly unwanted) attention from guys.
  • hOw2lozeAgiN10dAze
    hOw2lozeAgiN10dAze Posts: 1,841 Member
    Yeah, they all say "OMG! You're way to skinny and fit! You need to stop working out so hard!" Then I resist the urge to punch them in the face and eat a cheeseburger instead, all the while watching them gag down their "diet" food. :smile:
  • unapologetically_crystal
    unapologetically_crystal Posts: 278 Member
    i agree 100% that it seems weird and that they just seem to generally like you more after.. but here is the deal. its a confidence thing. basically, you know you rock and you are passing that vibe out to other people. so now they seem like they are different towards you but actually YOU are different towards them. i figured this out on my journey. id still tell you that i dont really have confidence.. but then i know i do have tons more then i used to. also you probably look alot happier so people are more apt to talk to you versus the unhealthy you who was miserable because you didnt feel so great.

    when i realized it was just me being different i noticed how i suddenly wanted to talk to people i knew before. friends from where i used to live. a while back they were my friends on facebook and i deleted them. im guessing because i felt unworthy of being their friend. like why would they want to see my posts? i never did anything. my life was going nowhere. nothing of value. now im all like hey lets be friends how are you. why? because i now accept and love myself for who i am.. and if someone doesnt want to be my friend.. well its their loss! not mine.
  • whoaitzlena
    whoaitzlena Posts: 5 Member
    lol... i hate when they tell me i'm melting away. ughh...
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    yes, I dont get called maam as often. lol.
  • jogglesngoggles
    jogglesngoggles Posts: 362 Member
    Yes!! Not only do people talk to me more, but I actually have the confidence to talk to others as well. I'm over all a much happier person to be around, which could be why people are nicer and why my social life is completely different now.
  • 122ish
    122ish Posts: 339 Member
    Like 100percent yes!

    Examples when I used to cross the street, I had to scurry across cause people wanted to keep going, well now they stop and wait for me to get all the way across.
    While shopping men nearly ran me over to get past me with their shopping carts, now they stop and smile and let me pass.
    Doors r opened for me now
    People say excuse me to me.
    People in general talk to me plenty now
    Getting help while shopping is all too easy now.
    The list goes on

    I wonder if my lack of confidence in the past may have played a role, because I do feel I am much more friendly now, I am chatty where as before I barely said hello. I think some of it has to do with how I look and some with how I carry myself now.

    Since I noticed how things changed after me changing my appearance I decided to never be that way, that I should not only be friendly with people I find attractive but with everyone. No more judging a person or treating anyone different based on how they look. I wonder was chubby me not worth a hi or excuse me, kinda sad
  • mq68
    mq68 Posts: 118 Member
    Yeah, they all say "OMG! You're way to skinny and fit! You need to stop working out so hard!" Then I resist the urge to punch them in the face and eat a cheeseburger instead, all the while watching them gag down their "diet" food. :smile:

    two different girl friends said, you look great! AND oh if you lose anymore weight you will be skinnier than me. I smiled and said, well, join me at the gym! I haven't seen either of them there and definitely haven't called or text them either.

    I just keep doing me even though I get hit on by some of the yuckiest men. My response, Do you even lift?!!!


    I always smile at everyone and say hi and have always had confidence so the lbs I have lost don't affect me as much as it seems to affect the shallow people in my life.
  • Tkwild
    Tkwild Posts: 116 Member
    I don't know, but heavier people always seem to glare at me a little if I hold the door open for them, like they think I'm helping them out cause I think they're too out of shape or something, when I'm just trying to be polite. Or if they catch me looking at them they glare like they assume that I'm staring cause they're fat, even if I'm checking out their clothes or jewelry, so I just try to avoid looking in their direction, but that's awkward too cause then it looks like I'm avoiding them cause they're big!

    Anyway, I think my point is that maybe you are feeling more confident and friendly and actually inviting some more attention than you may have been in the past, without realizing it. When people are happy and feeling good, it catches others' attention
    Very interesting POV! :)
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
    I don't feel like I've really lost enough weight for that to kick in. I'm still in the obese category, so I'm still "invisible."

    Edited for typo.

    I see you, dang girl you're so fine... what's your name?

    Whateva...you won't even take me out for sushi!

    It's not like that. I want you to be you, i want to touch you in a way you never been touched. Expose yourself to me, cook me some food. That's the only way. Get in touch with your feminine side... That will last forever, sushi wont.

    You are a strange duck
  • resistance_freak
    resistance_freak Posts: 899
    They absolutely treat me differently. I get more respect, and more attention (both positive and negative).

    And it's a little different based on gender. Women are WAY more forward with me than they ever used to be. They also seem to want my advice in the gym now, or maybe that could be just that they don't 'mind' my attention now when it might have been unwanted before... idk.

    Men are typically really happy for me that I've been able to make this change, and in general I don't think most guys get jealous of other guys weight loss in the same way that it seems like women get jealous of other womens' weight loss. But that's not to say it doesn't happen. There's this guy at work that likes to now call me Twiggy, and frequently tells me how if I lose any more weight then I'm just going to blow away, or that "we won't even be able to see you". I'll let you guess how fit this guy is...

    But the vast majority of the difference in treatment from other people has been positive, and I wish I would have decided to make a change like this long ago. It's not like I didn't know what to do before, but for whatever reason I never cared enough to put any discipline to it until recently. But... better late than never, right?
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    yeah, but i dont think it has to do with looks. more the confidence i give off now.
  • Colleen285
    Colleen285 Posts: 4 Member
    Not really. I catch men checking me out every now and then, but that is all that ever happens. I have never been hit on in my entire life, and the only guy who has ever flirted with me is my ex.

    So far, I have lost 106 pounds. My heaviest was 220 at the end of high school. I managed to get down to 180 but remained there for the entire time I was in college. As a result, men avoided me like the plague. They still do, really. Eventually I managed to get down to the 120's and stayed there for about 4 years. Just recently, I finally attained my target weight 115 and dropped to a size 2. I am in the best shape of my life at the moment and can actually pull a bikini off (for the first time in my life--which is what I wanted) and yet men still ignore me just as much now as when I weighed 220. I am at a loss here; I don't know what else to do in order to get men to notice and/or flirt with me. Maybe it's because I'm shy. Or maybe I'm just not attractive enough to be hit on. Any thoughts?

    For anyone out there who has lost weight and is getting attention from the opposite sex you should count yourselves lucky. I wish I was one of you. (Really.)
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    I haven't read the replies, but I remember seeing a show, maybe "what would you do" and they took a girl and made her fat, and had her drop some stuff in the street to see who would help her and NO ONE did. Then she went back to being her "normal" sized self, dropped the stuff again and tons of people helped her. :noway:

    But personally speaking yes. At my heaviest I was about 35 lbs heavier than I am now, and I definitely get more attention now.
  • LiveLoveLift67
    LiveLoveLift67 Posts: 895 Member
    YES they do. I actually would get a bunch of sexual comments from customers when i lost weight that never gave me the time of day before. I even left my job of 7 years because my boss wouldnt stop saying or doing sexually harrasing things to me since getting in shape.

    I have lost a few friends that think i am obsessive......
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,927 Member
    I disagree with most of the responses here. People are incredibly superficial, in general.

    I used to be a total babe when I was working as a fashion model in my teens and twenties. I used to genuinely think that people were generally kind and interested in strangers and their opinions. It was only upon losing my looks due to aging and weight gain that I realized that I had been getting special treatment due to my looks.

    I have colleagues who are surprised by how confident I am despite being a middle aged overweight person. I guess it's because my self esteem isn't rooted in my looks.

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