MFP Cheesy Poetry Thread

mister_universe

I've got a knack for creating Haiku on the fly so:

Ads in the sidebar
Show shrinking women and I
Think "Total bull$hit"

:bigsmile:

SmartWhatever

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Does this rag,
Smell like chloroform to you?

ScottyNoHotty

Roses love sunshine,
Violets love dew,
I have a gun,
Now get in my van.

littlelaura

Phenomenal Woman



Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


Maya Angelou

mister_universe

Phenomenal Woman



Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


Maya Angelou

littlelaura

:blushing: ty wish I wrote, I sure do love it because I definitely that way.

mister_universe

:blushing: ty wish I wrote, I sure do love it because I definitely that way.

I have a HUGE thing for strong women. Major turn on for me.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

bumblebums

once a chica who was known as bynsky
was feeling a little bit frisky
but she was stuck in a cube
and all out of lube
while wishing for bottles of whisky

Finally, a limerick!

hez76

the Chihuahua is hysterically disturbing....lol

miss_jessiejane

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

-Lord Byron

taunto

Dr. Oz I hate you

Dr. Oz, I hate how you cry about my yummy foods
I hate how you think you know everything
about everything
I hate that you can't keep your mouth shut
about anything

Dr. Oz, I hate it when you complain about a balanced diet
I hate how you would make fun of Sugar
even though it is oh so much sweeter than you
I hate when you complain about carbs
even though its far better for me than you

Dr. Oz, I hate when you whine about milk
I hate how you are so pretentious
your taste isn't that great
I hate how you beat every joke to death
you're so unfunny

I hate that you're a sell out
You make other doctors look bad
Time Magazine calls you influential person to many
Chris Brown feels left out

Dr. Oz I hate you
You make me wanna fling poop at you



Sorry it didn't rhyme

ScatteredThoughts

Something I wrote many years ago:


Kindred soul of mine
If only it could be
My heart and yours
Bound together forever
Eternally dancing
Rejoicing in life
Living in love
Yearning only for each other

taunto

Life is with you
Light is with you
To tell the truth, all my happiness is with you

You have brought the flask of love
Also brought feelings in my heart with you

How much courage God gave you
Cruelty is upon us, calmness is with you

What heavens beauty are you
My words have meaning because of you

Subject of my poems you are
Identity of my fame you are

To tell the truth, my poetry is with you
Life is with you
Light is with you

carbons2k

roses are red
I have a phone
she doesnt text me
forever alone

mister_universe

Taunto inspired Dr. Oz Haiku

Oz knows everything
about everything except
tweezing correctly

2stepscloser

roses are red
I have a phone
she doesnt text me
forever alone

So :sad:

Post your number, I'm sure you won't be alone anymore

xvxCelticWandererxvx

Poetry is sexy
Its lyrics aim to please

Poetry is sexy
Engaging in its tease

Poetry is sexy
It radiates with verb

Poetry is sexy
Every idyllic word

Poetry is sexy
Refined for purity

Poetry is sexy
Stripped of subtlety

Poetry is sexy
When read between the lines

Poetry is sexy
Laced with frilly rhymes

Poetry is sexy
Both singular and plural

Poetry is sexy
Every exclamatory swirl

Poetry is sexy
Grammatically raw

Poetry is sexy
Even typos and all

Poetry is sexy
Consummated publicly

Poetry is sexy
When performed properly

Poetry is sexy
Irrespective of its font

Poetry is sexy
Fashioned any way you want

:flowerforyou:

ScottyNoHotty

The haunting memories of lost love,
Our eyes met across the crowded hat store,
I, a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher.
Oh, I pursued and she withdrew, then she pursued and I withdrew,
and so we danced. I burned for her,
much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.

karl39x

Here I stand, trying to piss.
Cursing the b*tch, who gave me this.
But, if she was here and I was well.
I'd get it again, sure as hell.

DainaLC

In My Mind

A place of my own I go to renew
With beautiful thoughts I know to be true
Soaked in calmness like the pouring rain
Drenched in peace I obtain.

Wild ideas on every shelf
Yet to try them all myself
Endless passions set on fire
For my every whim, every desire.

Landscapes of soft terrain
Free of corruption, free of pain
Massive mansions are in abundance
Yet to explore all their importance.

Even in all this craziness
I am my only witness
A place I visit, a place I adore
In my mind is where I soar.

Daina

mister_universe

In My Mind

A place of my own I go to renew
With beautiful thoughts I know to be true
Soaked in calmness like the pouring rain
Drenched in peace I obtain.

Wild ideas on every shelf
Yet to try them all myself
Endless passions set on fire
For my every whim, every desire.

Landscapes of soft terrain
Free of corruption, free of pain
Massive mansions are in abundance
Yet to explore all their importance.

Even in all this craziness
I am my only witness
A place I visit, a place I adore
In my mind is where I soar.

Daina

:flowerforyou:

xvxCelticWandererxvx

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

One of my favorites!

mister_universe

Wishes

In youthful days that once were mine
My eye would often gaze,
Up to the stars to seek a sign
Where twinkling wishes blaze.

Hoping perhaps my hearts request
Might find a way to be,
And grant me courage in my quest
For possibility.

For every wish within my heart
Could soon be realized,
If embolden, my soul would start
To build what it devised.

My young heart often sought such things
As treasure chests and gold,
Or to take flight on feathered wings
And never to grow old.

Now I yearn less for such glories
But still I do believe,
Happy ends aren't just for stories,
But really are to be.

- Lora Robertson

2stepscloser

Wishes

In youthful days that once were mine
My eye would often gaze,
Up to the stars to seek a sign
Where twinkling wishes blaze.

Hoping perhaps my hearts request
Might find a way to be,
And grant me courage in my quest
For possibility.

For every wish within my heart
Could soon be realized,
If embolden, my soul would start
To build what it devised.

My young heart often sought such things
As treasure chests and gold,
Or to take flight on feathered wings
And never to grow old.

Now I yearn less for such glories
But still I do believe,
Happy ends aren't just for stories,
But really are to be.

- Lora Robertson

Love

dirtnap63

Shakespeare does MFP:



To MFP or not to MFP: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the belly to suffer
The (onion) rings and marrow of outrageous calories
Or to take up lifestyles against a sea of fads
And by opposing end them? To diet, to starve;
No more; and by starving we say to begin the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished? To diet, to starve;
To starve: perchance to binge: ay there’s the rub;
For in that starvation diet what losses may come when we have shuffled off this metabolic rate
Must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of so long dieting;
For who would bear the words and scorns of time,
The “bully’s” wrong, the proud member’s contumely
The pangs of despised advice, the mod’s delay
The insolence of veterans and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a Dr. Oz? Who would buttocks
bare,
To grunt and sweat under a clingy wrap
But that the dread of something after loss
The undiscover’d state from whose bourn
No purger returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those lbs we
Have
Than lift to others that we know not of?
Thus sloth does make cowards of us
All;
And thus the native hue of ketones
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought
And undertakings of great pitch and moment
With this regard their cleanses turn awry,
And lose the name of action. – Soft tissue now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy diaries
Be all my binges remember’d.

silvergurl518

roses are red
violets are violet
pataterz can be sweet or fingerling
i lost interest in this poem.

parys1

Shakespeare does MFP:



To MFP or not to MFP: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the belly to suffer
The (onion) rings and marrow of outrageous calories
Or to take up lifestyles against a sea of fads
And by opposing end them? To diet, to starve;
No more; and by starving we say to begin the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished? To diet, to starve;
To starve: perchance to binge: ay there’s the rub;
For in that starvation diet what losses may come when we have shuffled off this metabolic rate
Must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of so long dieting;
For who would bear the words and scorns of time,
The “bully’s” wrong, the proud member’s contumely
The pangs of despised advice, the mod’s delay
The insolence of veterans and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a Dr. Oz? Who would buttocks
bare,
To grunt and sweat under a clingy wrap
But that the dread of something after loss
The undiscover’d state from whose bourn
No purger returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those lbs we
Have
Than lift to others that we know not of?
Thus sloth does make cowards of us
All;
And thus the native hue of ketones
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought
And undertakings of great pitch and moment
With this regard their cleanses turn awry,
And lose the name of action. – Soft tissue now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy diaries
Be all my binges remember’d.

:flowerforyou:

parys1

Together

Round and round, the pleasures bind.
Fleeting moments, self’s unwind.

Moisture pools on fevered skin.
Trembles start and turn within.

Looking deep within my soul,
Waiting, wanting, knowing, bold.

Giving up sweet minutes long,
Beneath your fingers I am drawn.

A sigh in the darkness.


-me-

ScatteredThoughts

Together

Round and round, the pleasures bind.
Fleeting moments, self’s unwind.

Moisture pools on fevered skin.
Trembles start and turn within.

Looking deep within my soul,
Waiting, wanting, knowing, bold.

Giving up sweet minutes long,
Beneath your fingers I am drawn.

A sigh in the darkness.


-me-

I really like this one.